October 2013

I couldn't believe he'd blown me off , Hayden Williams was a certified ass hole. I re read the text message he'd sent a few moments earlier and it only fuelled the anger I felt.

To: Lucia

From : Hayden

Sorry , can't come over tonight.

Going to a party. Promise I'll

Make it up to you. Pls don't hate me

I didn't just feel angry I felt fucking hurt , it was and odd sensation I wasn't familiar with and it confused the hell out of me. I knew I had no right to keep Hayden all to myself and that the mere thought of doing so would be utterly selfish but a part of me wanted to , and that's what scared me the most. It was already 4pm and It was as if I'd wasted a whole day and that pissed me off even more. I decided to text Ricky and the girls , I was more than sure one of them would have something for us all to do tonight as I was in no mood to be sat at home alone on a Saturday night. Unlocking my phone I composed a text and hoped to god one of them would pull through.

From: Lucia

To: Ricky , Kiara , Poppy

Officially been ditched by the

Neighbourhood ass hole. Anyone got

Any plans for us tonight ?

Thankfully I didn't have to wait long for one of them to reply as my phone buzzed several minutes later.

To: Lucia

K- massive party going on in my street later

You all down?

R- obviously

P - count me in !

Me -definitely , what time shall we be at yours ?

After arranging a time for us all to meet at Kiara's I sat back in the sofa and allowed a smug grin to appear on my lips. I had no doubt that this was the party that Hayden would be going to and I'd already made up my mind in showing him that I'm capable of having fun without him and I would not let him blowing of our plans ruin my night.

At around 7:45 I arrived outside Kiara's house , knowing her parents were away I proceeded to walk strait in and up the stairs where I knew she would be , along with Ricky and Poppy. "The party has arrived" I announced as I opened the door to Kiara's bedroom , as usual I was the last one to arrive.

"Luce , you look absolutely stunning." Ricky cooed as he admired the fitted emerald green dress I'd chosen to wear , it was like a second skin and enhanced my curves perfectly.

"Thanks sweetie." I replied , pulling him in for a hug.

Pre drinks lasted for around an hour , by the end of it we were all pleasantly buzzed and ready to dance the night away. You could hear the music as we walked towards the house and the surge of excitement I got before a party washed over me. As usual the house where the party was taking place was packed , sweaty bodies were grinding against each other on a makeshift dance floor in the living room and in the kitchen the drunken conversation between friends and acquaintances flowed freely. I tried to locate Hayden from the little area me and the others had occupied in the kitchen but I couldn't find him.

Screw himI thought , I'll shown him. I don't need him to have a good time , pushing all thoughts of Hayden to the back of my mind I threw myself into the party , determined to have fun or die trying.

Two hours into the party and I had racked up quite an impressive tally. Danced with multiple boys , kissed a few of them and I'd managed to get myself pretty drunk in the process. I'd lost the two girls almost an hour ago but thankfully Ricky was close by to keep me company. I was more than sure he knew my agenda tonight due to the concerned looks he'd been giving me but I was way too drunk to care.

Kiara and Poppy suddenly appeared in my peripheral vision , they looked worried and I immediately made my way over to them with Ricky close behind me. "What's wrong?" I asked "are you both okay?" I quickly scanned the both of them , they both looked fine not even a hair out of place but the grim expression on both their faces meant that something was bothering them. They looked at each other , a silent exchange of words passed between them and then with a nod from Kiara , Poppy began to speak.

"If I tell you this do you promise not to freak out?" She asked and I was immediately taken back by the question.

"Why would I freak out?" I replied "has something happened."

"Hayden's here." She said. The way she spoke to me sounded as if she was talking to a wild animal.

"So what?" I asked "it's a party , he's bound to be here."

"He's with a girl , Luce." She replied.

"And why would that bother me ?" I laughed , but there was an unfamiliar feeling deep down inside me that completely contradicted what I'd just said to my friends.

"We thought we should just let you know , that's all." Kiara said.

"Thanks , and if that's all I'll be in the kitchen getting myself a drink." I turned on my heel and walked away.

The realisation hit me that Hayden had in fact ditched me for a girl when I had poured myself a second drink , after quickly downing the first one. The anger I'd felt towards him earlier returned with a vengeance but I was also hurt , he'd never ditched me for a girl before , ever. The thought of him with this mystery girl set me on edge and for some reason I immediately tried to look out for someone who could be her in the groups of people who were filtering in and out of the kitchen. I knew it shouldn't bother me but It did , and the more I thought about Hayden and his mystery girl the more that feeling in my chest grew.

I knew going looking for him and demanding an explanation from him was a stupid move. He was 4 years older than me meaning he hung out with a whole different crowd and I'd only end up making myself look like a fool in the process. A Bitter taste had lined my mouth and It wasn't due to the alcohol I'd been consuming. Holy shit I cringed I'm jealous. It was as if that whole thought process hit the metaphorical nail on the head , I was jealous of the girl that Hayden had ditched me for. Shit , this shouldn't be happened , no it couldn't be happening , he was my best friend ... why should I care if he hangs round with girls or not?

I scolded myself , I could not and would not allow myself to have feelings for Hayden. It would ruin everything and I knew I wouldn't be able to cope without having him in my life if shit hit the fan , he was much too important to me. But the more I thought about it the more I realised it was true.

"Luce , are you okay?" A familiar voice pulled me from my thoughts but as soon as I realised who the voice belonged to I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Umm , yeah I'm fine. Sorry I was in a world of my own." I tried not to look at my best friend as his deep brown eyes scanned over me. The intensity of his gaze made me shiver but I kept my eyes cast down at the floor , I knew if I looked at him It'd be game over. "How much have you had to drink?" He asked , the tone he was using with me was one a father might use with his child and my temper flared. Only then did I realise there was a girl stood next to him. She was beautiful , shoulder length brown hair with piercing blue eyes and the deep crimson dress she was wearing hugged her body as if it had been made just for her. Only after seeing the girl he had brought with him had I allowed myself to meet his gaze.

"Hayden." I began "how much or how little I have had to drink is none of your concern. If I wanted a father figure at this party I would've brought my biological one."

"Luce." He said , this time his voice was much softer "I'm sorry about earlier , I felt like a dick for backing out of our plans. I promise I'll make it up to you. Please don't be angry with me" For what felt like the first time ever I just stood there and looked at him , I analysed every detail on his face from his perfectly styled hair to the adorable dimples in his cheeks and in that moment I truly realised how breathtakingly perfect Hayden Williams actually was. "You don't need to make it up to me. I was going to tell you I couldn't make it anyway , you just beat me too it." Another lie , but it made me feel slightly less pathetic so I just went with it. "Shouldn't you be getting back to your friend?" I asked.

"Brittany can wait. I really am sorry , Luce."

"Hayden , I am fine. We're fine. Now go and entertain your friend , it's rude to keep a lady waiting." I tried to force a smile but I was more than sure it ended up looking like a grimace.

He shot me one last concerned look before he left the kitchen with Brittany. I watched as both of them disappeared out of sight and only then did I allow myself to relax , but I couldn't. The realisation that I had feelings for Hayden hit me like a tonne of bricks but this wasn't a simple crush , I was deeply and irrevocably in love with him and that's what scared me the most. A lone tear slid down my cheek and I knew then that nothing would ever been the same between us ever again.

I was in love with my best friend but he would never ever see me more than that , a friend.

A/N

This is probably one of the most important chapters of the book as Luce finally realises her true feelings for Hayden ❤️

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