Jen

I am furious, disgruntled, humiliated, mad, and hurt with Rick's behavior. His arrogance is on the peak, how dare he called me in 20m to have dinner with him like he is the dictator of my life, Are you serious? I want nothing more than to hurt him as he had hurt me. This one month with Rick is going to be the worst traumatic experience of life, fill with a great deal of hurt, humiliation, discomfort and regrets.

A soft knock on the door interrupted my train of thoughts, Gosh! he is coming, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep to avoid talking to him.

"Jen, I asked you to come in 20 minutes?" I could feel Rick looking at me with a big scowl, I tried to be calm as much as I can. There's silence for a few minutes, my mind starts muddling, has he gone. I couldn't sense him moving until he reached very close to me, a sudden, inexplicable sense of anticipation filled me.

I stayed perfectly still, trying to master my own pulse, my own heartbeat. But, even with my eyes closed, I could feel his eyes on me, studying me, his breaths on my face are hot. The heat of him, made my breath quicken. His breathing moved from my face to my neck, I could feel him leaning over me, sniffing my hair and lips slowly parted over my earlobes. But before he could touch my skin, panic made my eyes flash open.

"What are you doing?" I swiftly move my body away from him, disgusted with this situation. I glance over at him with fierce, my breath embarrassingly fast now.

"It seems playtime is over, ready for dinner" Rick straighten himself, not even looking at me, he said casually as nothing happened a moment ago.

"You better stay away from me, Rick" I have to say something, I couldn't let him throw his orders on me.

Finally, gracing his glance to me with a crook half-smile, he raised his brow.

"I am serious, don't touch me." Shooting him an angry glare I warned him, in return his lips curl into mocking half smile. His calm and reckless attitude is getting into my nerves.

"Don't touch you, this will kill the whole purpose of coming here, isn't it" He winked at me boyishly, this sight of Rick could make any girl's heart flutter but not me, not anymore. I clench my jaw in annoyance, I have no comeback to wipe away his stupid arrogant smirk from his face.

Suddenly, he grabs my hand and pulls me into his embrace, I gasp in a shock, my mouth dropping open in a heavy breath, the proximity between us tormenting me crudely.

"Back off, Rick"

"Why are you so angry, Ms. Davis. I haven't done anything to you... at least for now" he said innocently, I roughly pushed him away. I saw a little hurt in his eyes but immediately it vanishes, and he grins widely raising his hands above.

"This is getting little interesting, but we need to cut it short to have dinner" I am too tired for this right now, exasperatedly I walk ahead of him, shoved the door open and slammed it behind him.

Surprisingly, the food smells good and my stomach seems to tie itself in a little noisy knot. Rick has already placed the food in a table, I platter some on my plate without waiting for Rick.

My body stiffens as I feel his body towering over me.

"Wait" he stops me in between. I stare at him with a straight face, he rushed to the kitchen and came with a bottle of red wine. Instantly, my heart thumped in my chest, is he planning again to slip something into my drink. I couldn't hide my suspicious in my expression, immediately Rick seems to catch it.

"Red wine will cool your nerves and help you to sleep peacefully." Rick passes the bottle and glass to me and pulls his chair to deposit himself.

Taking his food on his plate, he glances back at me with the same poise.

"Enjoy yourself, Ms. Davis... for now, the hard part is yet to come but not tonight" I don't know how relieved I felt with his words, so he is not intended to do anything tonight, relief washed through me.

I checked the bottle warily, playing with the lid of the bottle.

"Stop thinking too much, the bottle is sealed" Eventually, Rick blurted in frustration. My cautious gaze making him uncomfortable, but how could I stop myself for not worrying about all the setup. As Rick said, the bottle was sealed pack, I remove the lid with little effort and pour a drink for me. I didn't even offer a drink to Rick, not even for a courtesy.

Damn, it actually felt good.

"Good?" my face turns red when I realized Rick is watching me intently. He gazed at me in silence, his blue eyes watching me almost wistfully.

"Why are you talking so much, can we have dinner in silence" It came out too rude from my mouth, but actually his constant talking makes me uncomfortable. Alone together, having an intimate dinner with Rick itself sabotaging my soul inside, and his little talk is salt on my open wound. Why can't he understand?

Even if my words affected him, he doesn't show a single sign of it. Instead, he gave me a weak nod and busied himself with his food.

After a long torturing minute, we finished our dinner in silence. I was about to clean the table but Rick asked me to leave this for him, I didn't argue because I wanted to run away from him.

Once, I reached the room, I took a long deep breath, which I was holding around Rick. Keeping my hands on the chest, I prayed, I prayed for the strength to stand stronger against Rick.

A few glasses of red wine didn't help, I am certain my restlessness would not allow me to sleep and I so want to sleep, for nothing than just to avoid Rick. Before freaking nerves give me another panic attack, I start looking for my medicine. They are great, they make my brain numb and allow blackness to evolve in me. Though it needed a great persuasion and begging with my psychiatric, its all worth it at the end. I open my purse to have my magical sleeping pill, I fumble in my bag.

"Damn, why can't I find it" I couldn't find them in my purse, I throw everything from my purse in search of my pills. Where did I keep? I remember putting them into my purse, but now its not there. Maybe in my bag, I start looking into my bag, by each minute my anxiety is rising. I need my medicine and I need it fast. My hands start trembling, I saw my reflection in the dressing mirror with wide eyes. My face has turned red and my eyes are tearing up. I cannot let Rick see another panic attack, last time I hardly hide it from him.

"Count, Jen.. descending order ten, nine, eight...se..se..seven" Shit, I am so pathetic, I can't even count. I start removing clothes from my bag, checking every single piece, in case the medicine mistakenly slides into it. But, no luck so far. I heard the footsteps approaching me, my vision is getting blur with my helpless tears. No, no... you can't break in front of Rick, be strong. I begin to get up off the floor very weakly. I am weak and my nerves are in sham. I turn my head facing the wall closing my eyes with a deep silent sigh, so Rick could not see me in this state.

"A good mess" His sarcastic tone filled the room, I clutch my arms tightly, digging my nails deep into my skin to appear normal.

"Are you looking for something?" Rick voice changed into concern, he moves a slow step towards me. I wait awhile trying to get myself together before I turn to Rick.

"Jen, are you alright?" My eyes buck in fear for a minute as terrifying images flash in my head of that horrific event, Rick was right there asking me the same question.

"Yeah...." I lick my lips nervously, my skin is hurting as my nails are deep into my flesh, I am afraid it will crack. I didn't turn to Rick and decided to hide myself inside the bathroom. As soon as I reach the bathroom, I lock the door behind me. I close my eyes tightly and fall to my knees softly, I put both of my hands on my face rocking back and front on the floor. Count, the doctor said this will help, ten, nine, argh, I felt a sharp pain in my head, I tried to get up from the floor wiping my face with my hands. But, it seems my body is dead and I can't move at all. With lots of effort, I begin to get up while pulling myself together. I wash my face, I couldn't dare to look at my reflection, holding the basin I stand there for some time to compose myself. I could hear Rick pacing outside the door, anytime he will knock or barge in, I couldn't let me see my sorry pathetic state. I managed to pull myself, I wipe my face with a towel and came out. I open the door up and I jump because I am frightened. Rick is right at the door looking me straight in my eyes, mixed emotions swirl over his face, my palms are sweating, and my eyes are still red. I prepare myself to answer Rick's uncountable questions, my heart beats are not in control, my head is spinning and my body is still trembling.

"I thought you will hide yourself inside the bathroom for the entire night" he mockingly gazes at me, there's no change in him, he is all himself. He doesn't notice my disgustingly pitiable condition or do I succeed in hiding my actual self before Rick. The second thought brought some confidence in me.

"You can have the bed but don't expect me to sleep on the couch, I am tired and need a proper sleep" I look at him blankly and can't understand what he is blabbering all about, my mind it quiet occupied with different voices in my head. Rick is still talking, I just wanted to stop him, scream at him to get the hell out of my life but my voice doesn't support me. At the same time, I am glad that Rick is so blinded with his self- obsession that he couldn't see the changes in me. Why would he, always everything has to be about him only, isn't it? As long as Rick is clueless about my dreadful panic attack, I am doing a great job of hiding it. Good...

Rick

My heart is breaking into million pieces watching Jen's struggle to stand still, her eyes are red and teary, her face is expressionless and so red that I am afraid she will bleed soon. All I want at this moment is to take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am for hurting her to this point, she is all broken and vulnerable, she is in a very dark place and to bring her back from there is not easy. As her psychiatrist said, every step has to be cautious and calculative with her, one wrong move could make her lose all her sanity.

I tried to overlook her heavy breathing, trembling body and scratched red arms, this isn't the first time I am doing it, I became a master in hiding my internal emotions since my childhood. I dealt with the most violent and dread situation with Mom, sometimes even I was bleeding from my head, I acted normal by smiling and lulling mom into asleep. But, this is more painful than anything, my sweet Jen is on the edge of breaking completely, I have to be strong, for her.

"I am very tired, let's go to the bed" I don't think Jen is even listening, she is zoning out. I know she is trying to control her vulnerable self, she has lots of pride to ask for help and I don't want to see the helplessness in her eyes, she is my hero and she will always be my hero... She has been fighting her battle alone, without seeking anyone's help, she is a selfless person and has a big heart of gold. I won't let Jen put her hands down against this mental illness, she has to get well soon.

"Jen, keep walking" I tried to erase the worry and concern from my voice, I casually walk towards the bed. Her things are spread all over the place, I clear the bed. A hushed silence fell. The eerie quiet is broken only by the sound of labored breathing. I realized Jen is trying to catch her breath, struggling with the deep, square breathing exercise recommended by her psychiatrist. Man, how should I help without offering any help to her?

I want her to talk, anything, I want to hear her voice, so I can be sure she will be fine. My patience is slipping away, she is still standing at the same place aloof, I can't see her like this. I don't know what to do, so I decided to do something in which I am best.

I growled and marched towards her, grab her hand dragged her to the bed, she is bewildered with sudden ferocity of the moment that she took some moment before she realized what just happened.

"I don't have all night for this, stop throwing your tantrum and sleep." With little force I pushed her on the bed, she looks back at me with a fuming glare. Oh, thankfully her lifeless eyes spark with anger.

I waited for her to retort, the way her eyes blazing I thought she would snap at me any moment, instead she just lied down on the bed turning her back on me. I hop onto the bed beside her, she is far away from me, making a good distance between them she laid down on the bed. Jen clutched the pillow against her chest, I could see her shoulder shrugs while she holds her soft sobs into the pillow. Her body is still trembling, I really want to pull her into my arms and whisper some encouraging words to her, seeing her so much in a pain, I find difficult to restrain myself for offering the medicine she was looking for. If this will helps then be it....No Rick, you can't be weak...this medicine is becoming her escape from reality like a drug.... She is totally depended on them which is not good.

Listening to her soft sniffles, I felt terrible, I loathe myself for ruining Jen's life. She became fragile and broken, she tried hard to show the world how strong she is but inside she is hollow.

I keep the light on of this room, let her cry in silence and watch her helpless until her slow sniffs turn into slow breathing. I proud of my Jen for staying strong, she did survive this night without medicine, a step towards wellness.

I dared to move closer to her, her eyes look swollen with cry, tears had left stain marks on her cheeks, her nose became tomato red. Is it insane that I still find her most beautiful and impeccable?

Now, watching the slight rise and fall of her back, I couldn't resist myself to kiss her temple, brushing her hair back gently with his fingers and then tracing the lines of her face in silence. She looks so innocent in her sleep that unreasonable possessiveness surges in me to shield her from every pain and hurt. I felt awful noticing bruises in her arms, couldn't guess which one was given by me and which one she caused herself with her nails. Her tender skin is scratched and red. I got up from the bed and got the ointment from the first aid box. Cautiously I applied the cream on her bruise arm, now I could see myself in her. She is enduring physical pain to avoid eternal pain. But, Jen you are still the stronger than me as you are not suicidal and taking drugs to forget the world. I resent myself for taking her faith away from the goodness and let her live in the insecurities. I want to put all broken pieces back together, making her whole again, no matter in the process if I had to burn into ashes. I love you Jen....I really do with all my heart and soul.... maybe my love is one of a kind, sickning and rare but my emotioned are honest and strong than I ever felt for anything. No one will ever understand my love for you but a little part of me believes you can...

Hey Lovelies!!

Hope you all are doing well and fine.

Enjoy another chapter of His Intense Love...

How do you find Rick's pov?

Eagerly waiting for your feeback, in previous chapter i got the mixed reaction and trust me I thoroughly enjyoed it. Waiting for more....

Love, Love and loads of love to you...