-Flashback-

F/n:"I really wish I'm tripping right now."

Our REAL hero said as he watched Issei focusing to summon his power. Which to him, is apparently bull crap.

Issei:"Wait, so we're doing this now? There's a lot of pressure!"

Rias:"It will get easier if you focus."

Issei:"A-alright! Focus Focus- Nayahhaha!"

Rias:"That's good, you can do this."

Issei:"I think! I can't- I can't do this!!"

F/n:"Then stop looking at her thong jackass."

Issei:"Focus! Grhhhhh! Ahhh, I can't I'm a weak soul!"

He falls to the ground in regret as F/n just ate his chimichanga while sitting on a cupboard.

Rias:"You're not weak at all. It's just a little hard right now."

Issei:"Are you sure this isn't some kind of mistake? I'm not that cool!"

F/n:"Hey, it's not the first time."

Rias:"a fallen angel found a thread enough to kill you, it's not a mistake."

Issei:"Yeah, then she put a glowing rod at me and somehow I'm still here. How does that work?!"

F/n:"Fuck Logic."

Rias:"Hey F/n, do you remember this?"

The red-haired girl asked the masked hero as she pulled the same piece of paper he was given by a cosplayer.

F/n:"Yep, why?"

Rias:"Just before Issei's life ended, you summoned me with your thoughts into this flyer."

F/n:"Story Magic."

Rias:"And so, Issei is revived as an honored member of the house of Rias Gremory, daughter of the great and powerful Devil. Zeoticus Gremory."

Rias:"Which means, you are now my devil servant."

She said with sly smile at Issei, she turns to F/n as he knew what that means.

F/n:"I'm stuck with him..you drag me to idiotic stuff dude."

Akeno:"Isn't this fun? You're one with us now!"

Suddenly, wings sprouted out of Issei's back making F/n visibly squint his eyes and rubs them.

F/n:"My eyes are broken. Damn these broken eyes."

Rias:"So, the way this works is that we grant powers for human on a price we can both agree on and then sealed with a pact. It used to be that humans would draw magic circles to summon us but that became too complicated. Nowadays, we make house calls and personal deliveries."

F/n just twirled his electric bike keys as he waited for Issei to pack the flyers for personal deliveries.

Issei:"Makes sense."

Rias:"Ordinarily we'd have a messenger demon that'd make the one but as a new servant i think it'd be fair to let you know about this. If you do that, you might get servants of your own to make them do anything you want."

Issei:"Yeah, I'm into that! I want some servants!"

F/n:"He is. Not gonna shame him for that."

Rias:"That depends on your efforts."

Issei:"Let's say my efforts are awesome, does that mean my servants will do anything I tell them to?"

F/n:"Pervert Activation is complete, coder: Rias Gremory."

Rias:"That's right."

Issei:"And they're mine so i can technically do anything to them?"

Rias:"Correct."

Issei:"You know where I'm going with this right?"

F/n:"Fuck Town USA."

Issei:"It's gonna be sexy time!!!"

Rias:"The great thing about servants is that they're useful for anything."

F/n:"I'll get one, I need someone to cook me food. Just that. Priorities."

Issei just kept thinking of perverted thoughts and F/n only packed his part of the flyers inside his gym bag.

-Timeskip-

F/n:"Finished my delivery."

Issei:"Me too!"

Rias:"Nicely done, now, I only have one last job to ask you two. Looks like Koneko is booked with two summoner quests, take one of them and get some practice."

Koneko:"That'd be super rad.."

F/n:"Adorable..."

Issei:"Uh, sure Ma'am. Wait, so does this mean I'm legitimately making a pact?"

-Short TimeSkip-

Akeno then made a transportation circle which caused Issei to step back a little.

Rias:"That's what we call a-"

F/n:"Teleportation Circle."    

Rias:"Huh?"                             

F/n:"I looked up to see that."

F/n points at the ceiling but immediately remembers that they are not able to break the fourth wall.

Issei:"Anyways, is it gonna hurt?"

His hand and F/n's was swiped by Rias as she made a seal which took Issei back a little.

Rias:"This is a seal, this proves that you both are a member of the house of Gremory. When you two reach your client, don't panic, just do as I told you both. You think ya'll ready for this?"

F/n:"Dunno."

Issei:"Hell yeah!"

Rias:"Very Cute. Make me proud!"

F/n:"He will, I won't."

Issei:"I promise! Getting this done will get me one step close to getting my harem!"

The two then went towards the circle as F/n loaded his pistols and twirled his swords and sheathed them. The circle then disappeared making Issei look stupid.

Issei:"The fuck?"

F/n:"Exactly."

Rias:"No, it's fine, but there is another way!"

F/n:"I'll go get my bike...."

-Timeskip-

Issei:"This sucks balls! What kind of devil would get summoned on a BICYCLE!!"

F/n:"I KNOW!!"

The two then made a stop at an apartment complex.

Issei:"This must be the place."

F/n was beside him as he turned off the safety of his pistols.

Issei:"Knock Knock! Mr. Morisawa Devils are here for you!"

The door opened to see a middle aged man who clearly loved busty anime women. But immediately closed the door.

Issei:"Hey, How's it going?"

Morisawa:"Get outta here."

Issei:"W-wait! I wasn't kidding! You summoned a devil! I'm here to hook you up!!"

Morisawa:"Since when does a devil come to your front door?

Issei:"Tonight's your lucky night?"

Morisawa:"Screw you! I know how this works, Koneko always appears on the magic circle on this flyer. She's the one I called for! Now get outta my porch!"

F/n:"Bud! Koneko fucking sent us here! I know the brat! White hair, smooth voice! Fucking perfect loli material!"

Issei started whining about how he failed to use the teleportation circle and how he got dragged into this and somehow that worked.

Morisawa:"Ok, Fine.."

-Timeskip-

Morisawa:"What can you do?

F/n:"Fucking perfect, you sent a child looking gal here to cosplay?! Good grief! Wanna see devil tricks?! I have one! Super Healing Factor!"

F/n suddenly shot his head and his body fell down the floor. Shock enveloped the two as his head began to push the bullet out. He regained his consciousness and stood up.

F/n:"Impressed?!"

Morisawa:"I-I'm good! How about him?"

F/n:"He can only make a really shitty ripped off Anime move."

Issei:"I'm sorry..I really can't do anything cool."

Morisawa:"I see, you are fan of the Z. But here! All the episodes and seasons right here."

F/n:"My hentai stash is bigger."

Issei:"Really?! Show me some!"

F/n:"Hell no!"

Issei:"But who cares if you've seen it first? I got the special editions so you can suck on that!"

Morisawa:"Ha! Of course you don't understand! I remember it came on every Wednesday night, I'd have my buddies over and we can watch it live. We caught the first fresh hit of the fusion awesomeness."

And so on, the two began to one up each other on who was the greatest Otaku. But him and Morisawa became friends. F/n just kept himself entertained by laying upside down.

-Timeskip-

F/n:"*yawn* Didn't end up taking a pact but hey, you made a friend."

Issei:"Yeah."

Suddenly, a dark aura was felt behind and the two turned around to see a woman wearing only but small coat on the outside.

Karawarner:"What a surprise, I never imagine that you'd look like that but I'm certain you're the one I was sent to find. My name is Karawarner and I was sent to destroy you..both. This is truly unusual."

F/n grabbed both of his swords and unsheathed them.

Issei:"What's going on?!"

Karawarner:"Why are you still alive?"

The woman suddenly sprouted black wings as the two guys stepped back in caution.

Issei:"Huh?! A fallen angel!"

F/n:"Fuck yeah.."

Karawarner:"She was supposed to have taken care of this already!"

She threw a glowing spear at Issei as F/n tackled Issei to cover him from the spear. Their right hands began to glow as the woman widened her eyes.

Karawarner:"Is that the Gremory family crest?!"

Issei retreated back as F/n kept his guard up.

Issei:"Does this mean I'm about to get killed again?!"