"May the flowers remind us why the rain was so necessary." — XAN OKU
                                                                                                                      
The salt of your tears will eventually
become what makes you next
season taste far better.
It will become the recipe
to a slow-cooked forever
that nourish your heart
with the things it has hungered for.
                                                   Pierre Jeanty

Night. This is my favorite time of the day. But at night I am left alone with my memories and thoughts, which cut like knives.

You know, when the heart breaks no one hears that. Just something happens to you, because of what life is radically changing. You changing.
I always thought that heartache is the most terrible pain. There are no painkillers from it and you just destroy yourself with thoughts.

I can't sleep all night, because every time my eyes closing I see, how Anna and Walter kissing. The most native people have caused me the most terrible pain.
I didn't even think that something like that could happen to me. But betrayal comes from where you least expect it. Did I deserve this? I tried to be a perfect friend, a perfect girlfriend, but what did I get in return?

My tears involuntarily roll on my cheeks and the heart aches from pain. What if all the people around me is full of lies? I don't know what's real anymore. Something in my chest is squeezing, I close a mouth with my hand, as not to scream. I want it so much, but I can't, just can't.

All the happy memories with Anna and Walter flash in my mind. How we met in the kindergarten, how we planned to build a houses opposite and open our veterinary clinic. Actually, I didn't lose a friend, I just never had one. I smile through the tears and remember our first date with Walter, our first kiss, the evening when I realized that I love him and thought it will be forever and ever. But life is cruel and reality isn't at all like in our dreams. And I understood this from my own experience. I have a feeling, that my life is never be good again. I'm like in a labyrinth, from which is no way out.

The room is up by sunlight and the last tears are rolling down my cheeks. Dawn. It's so beautiful. People say, that after every sunset in your life, the dawn will necessarily come. But when will my down come?

In agonies and fears
Will someone hear my call
And come to dry my tears
Or let me fall?*

Today I decide to get up before the alarm and make my way to the bathroom.
In the reflection of the mirror the exhausted girl with red, because of the tears eyes, looks at me. When did I become like this?

I threw off my clothes and get up in the shower. Maybe this will help me to feel fresh. Cool drops of water run down my body. And for several minutes, I just stand, enjoying this sensations. I soap on body a shower gel with a smell of citrus, by the way, that's my favorite scent.

When I finish the water procedures it's only 6:30 a.m. There is still a lot of time until school, so I can get ready not in hurry.
I look at myself in the mirror again and understand that I can't do without makeup today. I take a concealer and cover up large big circles under my eyes, then put on red lipstick, but not too much, just to give a light shade. Pretty not bad, at least I don't look like I didn't sleep all night.

"Candys! Come down!", yells mom, "Your breakfast is cooling down!"

"Just give me 1 minute!" I yells back.

I wear the first clothes I've got under my hand: a little big black sweatshirt, black jeans and white sneakers. I brush my hair and go downstairs.
I hope this day will be quickly.

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*Lord of the Lost — Heart for Sale