Some people say life is a series of decisions. That how we go about it, determines how our life is going to turn out.

It's a lovely concept, but utter nonsense. Your decisions wouldn't decide your parents' wealth. Your decisions wouldn't decide your own intelligence or looks. Going to school didn't ensure your happiness in the future. Being kind, wouldn't make people like you. Always listening to your parents, didn't always make them love you. It was all about luck. The luck to be born into a healthy, good-looking body. The luck to be strong. Or the luck to be born into a wealthy family.

Those who hadn't lucked out were treated harshly. For them, the only option was to stay silent, ignore others and hide their emotions. Like they were wearing a mask, hiding the person that was slowly breaking inside, repeating to themselves that it wasn't that difficult, until one day that thin thread that made them hold onto their morals snapped.

It was all a game of luck. The only way to reverse the roles ─ to get noticed ─ was by letting go of the mask, exposing the person they had become.

✬

Midoriya dropped his bag onto the floor, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He collapsed onto his bed, face flushed from the warm weather. The construction workers were making up much noise, to Midoriya's annoyance. He'd complain about it if he had any right to. Even he knew that these things were necessary. The world didn't exist to please anyone. Midoriya knew that all too well.

"Izuku!" His mother's footsteps were loudly heard as she came closer to his room. He didn't answer her call. He just lay down on his bed, too tired to move. All he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and sleep, but even that wasn't possible with how warm it was outside. Falling asleep during this weather proved to be more of an annoyance than the noise outside. "Izuku, you should say it when you've come home." Inko said, opening the door. She sighed upon seeing her son laying down like a sack of potatoes. "How was school?" she asked, walking up to him.

Midoriya shrugged. "Was okay."

Inko's hand brushed against his cheek. "That's good to hear." she said, smiling sweetly. "It looked a bit like school was kind of hard on you." Midoriya looked away, reluctant to tell her anything related to school, or of anything else for that matter. She pulled her hand back when Midoriya took too long with answering. "You should eat something. Want some melon bread?"

"Nah, not hungry."

"You sure? You haven't eaten much lately."

"I'm fine, mom," Midoriya said. "Just not that hungry."

Inko smiled hesitantly, nodding. "Okay then. But take care of yourself, okay?" Midoriya sighed in annoyance. "Okay, okay, I'll go." Inko smiled, shaking her head at her son. She closed the door behind her, leaving Midoriya alone again. He moved to lay down on his side, staring at his schoolbag. He wanted to tell the truth. To scream as loud as he could that he wasn't fine. That getting through the day was so much of a hurdle for him, he wasn't even sure how much longer he wanted to try. He wanted to quit school, despite knowing it was the only thing that kept him going. But telling the truth had never seemed so difficult as it did now.

His mom was understanding, but she also worried too much. The last thing Midoriya wanted was burdening her with his troubles. Of course, there were the sudden mood swings he found difficult to suppress in his mother's presence, but he put up with it. Because no matter how he expressed himself, no one would even try to understand.

Besides, telling her would probably mean letting go of the one thing that had always kept Midoriya going. The thought that if he tried hard enough and remained focused, he could still become a hero. His life could still hold meaning.

You also have to consider what's realistic.

Midoriya noticed his eyes getting wet. He bit his lip trying to prevent tears from falling, but it didn't take long before he broke. Soft sobs and whimpers escaped his mouth. The sound got drowned out by the sound of drills and hammers. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

Midoriya desperately tried to wipe away his tears, but new ones kept coming. Now that he was alone, the mask had crumbled apart, exposing the tired and empty remains of the person he used to be.

By the time Midoriya had stopped crying, his head was already throbbing. His cheeks felt like they were burning, and his eyes were heavy. He closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep and forget about all of it. Even if it was just for a moment, he wanted to be away from his thoughts.

He wanted to be happy again.

✬

Midoriya woke up from hearing someone knock on his door. He raised his head, feeling more miserable than he had before had fallen asleep. "Come in," he said in a husky voice.

"Morning." Inko said, a sweet smile across her face. Midoriya automatically turned to his alarm clock to check the time, slightly panicking at how late it was. "Don't worry. I called the school to tell you're sick." Midoriya looked back at Inko. Relaxing slightly, he laid his head back on his pillow. His mother gave an awkward smile, playing a bit with the tips of her fingers. "Are you okay?"

Midoriya nodded, his pillow rubbing against his cheek.

"That's good." Inko said. She waited some time in the hope for her son to answer, but cleared her throat when that didn't happen. "You should eat something. You didn't want anything at all yesterday evening." Midoriya stayed quiet, curling up. "Izuku," Midoriya didn't want to hear it, whatever she was going to say.

Inko paused. It lasted long enough for Midoriya to think she might change the subject, but that didn't happen. "Izuku, I don't know what to do. You've been holed up in your room like this ever since that villain attacked Katsuki. I get that you're shaken up about it, but at least try to talk to me. I don't know what you're thinking." Midoriya turned his head a bit to see his mother worried and tired, crouched down before him. He immediately averted his eyes. Inko buried her head in Midoriya's bedsheets, trembling. "Why won't you say anything, Izuku?" Her voice was soft and high-pitched.

Midoriya stared at his mother sobbing in front of him. He wanted to hug her and assure her that he was alright, but he didn't move an inch, his headache and shaking getting worse every passing second. Eventually, Inko stood up and wiped away her tears, leaving Midoriya without having heard so much as a word escape his mouth.

Midoriya turned around, facing the wall.

I'm sorry mom, His eyes closed. I don't know what I'm thinking either.

✬

"You want me to take back your application for UA?" Midoriya nodded, playing with the ends of his shirt. The teacher sat back, carefully observing the boy's face. "Did Bakugou put you up to this?" he asked.

"N-no! I know it's kind of late, but"─he looked away, unable to hide how empty his own words made him feel ─"I realised becoming a hero for someone like me... it's impossible. I can't stay stuck in a dream forever." Midoriya felt slightly uncomfortable with the unamused expression his teacher was making, but he just quietly awaited his answer.

The teacher sighed. "Well, I suppose it's improvement you realised your goal wasn't very realistic. Still, I can't help you." Midoriya kept his head down. He knew he came with this at a bad time, but he had hoped he could take back his application and leave it at that. "I can try requesting if you could take the general studies exam instead, but that's about all I can do."

Midoriya managed a small smile on his face. "Thank you." he said, bowing respectfully.

"What changed your mind?" his teacher asked. "You were so sure you wanted to become a hero, despite what everyone said, what changed?"

For a second Midoriya's eyes widened, before they sank again. He grabbed his own hand, to try and and stop the trembling, hesitating with answering the question.

"A villain attacked me." Midoriya said, locking eyes with his teacher. He tightened the grip on his hands. "I thought I was gonna die, that this was it for me. Somehow, that thought scared me. Despite my ideas of becoming a hero ─ someone who constantly throws themselves in a dangerous situation, with death as a possible outcome ─ at the thought of dying, my mind went blank. I got saved, and it didn't attract any attention. The hero that saved me... he was really cool. I think that's when I realised: I'll never be like that." He forced a smile on his face, trying more to convince himself than his teacher that he was fine. That he had come to terms with it. Even so, his watery eyes gave away his true feelings. "I guess I realised it was time for me to also consider what's realistic."

Tears kept on coming, and he felt a small headache coming up, but he forced himself to look up at his teacher, whose face seemed full of pity. An expression Midoriya really didn't wish to see right now. He bowed again. "Excuse me." he muttered throughout his uncontrolled hiccups. He turned around, opening the door and walking out of the room.

His face was covered in tears and snot, when he realised the presence of someone else standing outside the classroom. His eyes met Kacchan's. He was standing nonchalantly against the wall, uncaring for the wreck in front of him. His crimson eyes piercing through Midoriya.

Pitiable. Weak. Useless. Deku.

Which of these words is the one Kacchan is thinking of, Midoriya wondered. Kacchan pushed himself away from the wall, taking only a few seconds to observe Midoriya before walking past him. Neither of the two said anything as Kacchan entered the room, closing the door behind him.

For a few seconds, Midoriya just stared at the door Kacchan had just gone through, but it didn't take long until he walked away. He wiped his tears with the sleeves of his uniform, picking up pace.

From the beginning, Midoriya had known that a day would come in which he had to face the facts and give up on his dream. He was quirkless, a failure. He had no future as a hero.

It isn't that difficult.