Requested by Person1946

Warning: self harm. Depressing thoughts.  Crying. Fluff at one point.

Bad thoughts 

" " for talking 

Grian POV 

I sit down in my base on my bed, holding my head as my thoughts consume me.... you shouldn't be here, you don't deserve happiness, not after how you ruined Sam and Taurus life, you did that. They were fine before you . 

I cover my ears,"shut up, they want me here...that's why they invited me..." I say out loud to the voices in my head, they never want you here, face it gree-on. You know you'll never be the same, so stop trying to change back, come to me.

I let out a sob, this is to much....it's all to much, I begin think as I stand up.

I walk towards the storage room,"it'd be better if I never joined..." I say out loud to myself as the tears keep falling, I grab the knife, I would usually use to cut ropes for building.

Do it. You know you want to.

I shakily listen to the voice in my head, and begin to slice my arm.

1 slice....

2 slice....

3 slice...

4...

......

My eyes widen as I drop the knife blood dripping from my arm onto the floor, I feel a over whelming feeling of pain and regret, I rush around the storage rooming looking for bandages....failing to remember, I had a meeting with mumbo and iskall.

"Oh god why did I do that! I'm so stupid!" I shout as I rush looking for some bandages, I hear a rocket and feel a rush of air as I turn to see mumbo landing, my eyes widen in fear."no...not now....any time but now..." I mumble to myself, "grian! Bu-......grian....what did you do.." mumbo says as he stares wide eye at my arm.

I begin to sob louder falling onto my knees, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" I keep repeating as mumbo has now rushed over pulling me into a big hug rubbing my back with the intention to calm me down, "grian...please...calm down..." mumbo says....I can clearly hear his voice cracking...

I just keep sobbing into his chest, it hurts to much....it's all to much.. 

he hates you, 

"Shut up" I mumble, "what?" Mumbo says clearly taken  a back by this,

You'll never be enough,

"Shut up! " I shout holding my head, mumbo eyes widen with fear and worry,

You should have died with them,

I let out a sob as I hold my head, mumbo seemed to have realize what had been going on as he pulled me into his lap with my face in his chest, mumbling soft words of incremental.

We sit here in silence, my face buried in his chest as he's mumbling soft words into my ear, "grian......we need to patch your arm" mumbo says, I nod not daring to look at him.

He pulls me up and over to my bed where he sits me down as he finds my med kit in the mess of the storage room I have, he placed his hand on my arm and begins to clean it with a sponge as I feel sting from the water come threw.

He finishes cleaning and  patching my arm up, I stayed silent the hole time, I feel a shuffle of movement as he sits on my bed pulling me to his chest, I again...break into tears and hug him so tightly, "grian.....I need you to promise me...you'll never do that again" mumbo says as he runs his fingers threw my hair, "I...I promise...." I say in a quiet tone but loud enough for him to hear.

"Good......" he says as he kisses my head, making my face heat up, I snuggle more into him as he lays back pulling me onto his chest, he keeps rubbing my back and running his fingers in my hair.

"You'll explain this tomorrow" he says, I nod tiredly and fall back asleep again...

"Love you..." he says as he pulls me closer, falling asleep as well.

I'm sorryyyyyyy I'm way to tired it's 5 in the morning I should be asleep.