Here you go..

**********

Cassandra looked at him and her eyes widened. For a while she just stared.

"Breath" Coltrane whispered slowly, shaking her. She blinked her eyes.Did she hear something wrong?

Cassandra died.

Cassandra blinked her eyes again trying to proceed with what he said. She feel herself shaking. This is bad she thought, as she can feel the bitter taste rising up. She pushed him and he let her go. She rushed in the bathroom, vomiting everything she ate. She slide down on the floor her shoulder shaking for once she thought she herself died. But that just her thoughts playing trick. Three months she tried to detach herself from everyone. She doesn't want to do anything with anyone and those thoughts were always knocking asking her.

Why is she breathing?

Why is she alive?

Gliding on the verge of insanity.

Coltrane was standing there looking at her face drained of any colour. She felt choked suffocation built.

Coltrane eyes widen as she violently shakes coughing.

"Cassandra," Coltrane said, lowering up to her and holding her shoulder. He grabbed her face and made her look at him.

"Breath" his words did not reach her at all. After trying, he pressed his lips against her.

Air rushed in as she breathed in. He repeated again and again till her shaking stopped. He backed away looking at her. Her face gained a bit of the colour.

Tears fall from her eyes. Slowly her shaking started again as she sobbed loudly. His heart breaks at her condition. He held as she cried.

Cassandra did not know why she was crying. Everything seems to be crashing on her consciousness.

This three months silence came out as tears.

Tears which she hates.

Tears that always show weakness.

Tears that only earn pity from others.

"I.. d..o..n..t c..a..r..e" (I don't care ) She sobbed. Coltrane felt his heart crack a bit at her painful heart wrenching sobs.

"It's okay love" He whispered rubbing her back trying to relax her. It took a lot of effort for him to pull her out of her crying session. The words she repeatedly said will haunt him.

I don't care

Coltrane unconsciously pressed a kiss on her forehead, "It's okay if you don't care"

Cassandra froze, after getting back her sense she pushed him away.

"W...h..y a..r..e y..o..u t..e..l..l..i..n..g m..e t..h..i..s?"(why are you telling me this?) She asked as her eyes hurt and her shoulder sagged. Coltrane looked at her trying to gauge her emotions but her face was a clear slate. She turned her face away.

"That woman hurt you, tried to kill you. If you don't care or want nothing to do with her is understandable Cassandra" his voice was clear like a slate.

"T..h..a..t..sn..o..t w..h..y I.. d..o..n..t c..a..r..e" (that's not why I don't care) Cassandra whispered as another tear fell from her eyes.

"Then why?" Coltrane asked softly as if his voice would break the serenity that was holding them together. She looked away as another tear fell from her eyes. For some reason he knows whatever she is going to say will be heartbreaking.

".. I..I..." Cassandra chuckled, another tear falling from her eyes.

"..I ..d...o..n't kn. .ow.." (I don't know) Cassandra said slowly as another tear fell.

Coltrane watched in horror as she crumbled down clutching herself and cried "I don't know". For once he felt his voice closed as she said those same words repeatedly closing her eyes clutching her eyes tighter she dug her fingers in her skin slowly blood started falling off.

"Cassandra " he called her, trying to stop her before she hurt herself even more.

"Cassandra" he shakes her.

"...I.. d..on't..kn...ow.." she sobbed.

"It's alright" Coltrane hugged her pulling her body closer to him.

"It's alright, so please don't cry" He said, pressing her to him as a tear rolled down his eyes.

"No.." Cassandra whispered but a tear betrayed her eyes. Coltrane let her go.

"I am sorry," he said. She felt another tear falling from her eyes.

"L..e..a..v..em..ea..l..o..n..e" (leave me alone) She said, almost pleading for him to leave. He slowly pulled her away. She doesn't know what she is feeling this way. It's as if everything crashed on her in a horrible way.

Coltrane stared at her for a while. He can see her shaking the urge to hold her again suffice but he decides to let her deal with this herself. She needs to come in term with her emotions.

He left her in the room. She stared off, slowly another tear slid down her eyes. Cassandra wiped it.

This should not matter to her.Her mother tried to take her life, she should hate her. Why? Why? What was she expecting? That her mother will come and ask for a fresh restart; those only happened in dramas not real life. Another tear falls," I hate you.. " She whispered bitterly. She felt choked as another tear fell from her eyes.

'I hate you..'

She wanted to scream but those words remained stuck in her throat.

'I don't want anything to do with you'

Then why? Why does it feel like her heart is breaking? Why is it hurting her? She was nothing but a stranger to her. Her mother should not matter to her.

Cassandra stared off, her face paled a little and everything seemed unreal and tears rolled down her cheek as she remembered how her mother wished she was never born. Those hatred filled her. She wanted to yell and scream that she didn't care. Why should she attend her funeral? Why should Cassandra find peace while she is still fighting with her demons?

Cassandra did not get a wink of sleep that night her thought revolved around nothing. She sighed. Her eyes wandered towards the door afraid that someone will come in and destroy the peace she has now. A certain someone she wished not to see.

Coltrane went to his study room. He sat down sighing, 'How could he be so tactless?'

He should have prepared her before blurting out those words. He sighed, closing his eyes. He can still see her pale face as a tear fell down her eye. He rubbed his face relaxing on the chair. He focused on the papers in front of him.

After a while Coltrane went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He passed in front of his room to see her sitting on the floor staring at nowhere in particular. He entered the room, "Are not you going to sleep?" He asked.

Cassandra did not answer at all. He walked up to her bending down and picked her up. She did not react at all. He put her on the bed and covered her with a blanket.

"Take rest, we will discuss this matter in the morning," Coltrane said. She just stared off. He sighed and walked out, closing the door. He went back to his work.

Morning

Coltrane rubbed his shoulder after pulling an all nighter he felt exhausted. He walked out to see Cameron sitting on the breakfast table eating food.

"When did you wake up?" He asked.

"Now" Cameron said. Coltrane frowned.

"Did you brush your teeth?" He asked. Cameron nodded his head. He shook his shoulder and entered his room. Cassandra was sitting there freshly showered. He looked at the clock it's 8 a.m. The funeral will start at 10 a.m.

He needs to fresh and up before have the talk with her about this.

After a shower he dressed up. Cassandra was still sitting in the same position he saw her last time.

"Don't you want breakfast?" He asked her. She did not reply.

Cameron walked in the room dressed in black. Coltrane looked at him; it must be painful for a ten year old kid to lose his mother.

Cameron looked at Cassandra and rushed to her, hugging her as tears filled his eyes, " my my mommy..."

The moment she heard his whisper. Cassandra pushed him away, his eyes widened and he looked at her hurt. She spun off.

Coltrane was silent, "Cameron, Why don't you go wait?" He bent down, rubbing his tears.

"Does she hate me?" Cameron asked innocently.

"No,"Coltrane patted his head.

"Then why?" Coltrane sighed how he could explain a ten year old kid. Cameron stared at him.

"Ben," he called. Ben, who was standing behind the door, walked in.

"Yes?" Ben asked.

"I will tell you till then Why don't you spend time with Uncle Ben?" He smiled at Cameron and walked off. Ben stares at the kid in astonishment.

Coltrane went to Cassandra's room. He rubbed his head trying to think of a way to deal with her before opening the door.

"Why did you behave that way?" He asked. Cassandra looked away.

"He is just a kid. Do you know he was asking me? What's going on? How should I reply to that?" Coltrane asked her feeling anger rise.

He shakes his head, " If you keep quiet I will lock you in here with him" her eyes shot up. She stared at him, tears stuck in the corner of her eyes.

"Start speaking Cassandra" He waited for a while but she kept quiet.

"K..E..E..P H..IM A..WAY F..ROM ME" (keep him away from me) She yelled in her broken voice. Coltrane eyes widened as he looked at her shocked. He can think of many outcomes but this was not one of them.

"Cassandra..??" He is unsure what to say now. She was breathing heavily. After thinking about it, he slowly walked up to her hugging her forcefully as she struggled to get away from him.

"What happened?" Coltrane asked. That's the only thing he could do now. After trying to get away from him she let go.

"Do you feel sad? Jealous? Hurt? looking at him?" He asked. Cassandra froze. She did not know what she felt but the moment he said the words mommy something snapped in her. She wanted to get away from him. It's almost as if she felt guilty that she might be the reason he does not have a mommy. Cameron's mother died because of her. It's all her fault.

"You are not the reason Cassandra died. She was sick for a long time, she knew she was going to die one day or another. So, don't blame yourself" Coltrane whispered, rubbing her hair softly trying to reassure her.

Cassandra felt a fresh set of tears fall from her eyes. Why is she crying?

"It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel heart broken" Coltrane said. She pushed him away abruptly, "NO"

She yelled.

NO

NO

NO

NO

She screamed crunching down holding herself together, trying to rock herself for some comfort. He just stares at her as she goes back and forth.

After a while Coltrane picked her up, setting her on the bed, he bent down grabbing her arm, "Give yourself a closure, attend her funeral. Do it for yourself? Please"

Coltrane begged as another tear rolled down her eyes falling on top of her hand.

Cassandra gave him a subtle nod accepting his suggestion. She is exhausted fighting with her sub consciousness. She felt tired.

"Get dressed" he said and came back with a black dress. She put on the dress and they set off to the location.

Cameron was sitting in front of the car beside Ben who was driving the car. Tears rolling down his eyes. Cassandra looked away. Coltrane hugged him, rubbing his back trying to calm him down once in a while he turned around to look at Cassandra but she kept her face passive and cold.

************

As they entered the hall it was silent. There were only 4 people.

Jeremy

Catherine

Carson

Carina

And them. It's an awkward silence as they sat there waiting for the cremation. It's weird that no one said anything or a toasted drink. It was just silent. The only one grieving was the poor child who lost his mother. Carina went away as soon as the cremation ceremony was done. Even though they have had a good relationship for years it still hurt her to see her sister died. Carson went after her.

Slowly Catherine walked up to them. She softly touched Cameron's head.

"It's okay sweetie" her soft voice made him cry even more as he hugged her tightly.

Cassandra looked at her mother's tomb and a weird sensation filled her, suffocating her almost. She just stared at her without saying anything.

Cameron falls asleep hugging Catherine. Jeremy was still there. He did not know what to do. So he waited with Coltrane, staring at Cameron. This is the first time Jeremy saw him as much as he wanted to deny it he is his half brother.

"How are you doing?" Jeremy asked Coltrane.

"Not good. What about you?" Coltrane sighed.

"Same" his reply seems off to even Coltrane but he did not bother to dig in anymore than necessary when he has so much to deal with. He slowly walked up to Catherine and picked Cameron up.

"Thanks" Coltrane showed gratitude before walking out of the hall towards his car after sending him home with Ben. Coltrane went back for Cassandra; she was still sitting in the same position.

"Here" he handed her the letter. She stared at it for a while before taking it from his hand.

*************

After Coltrane left them, they were all alone. Jeremy started to walk out when Catherine stopped him.

"Jeremy" she called him softly. He froze slowly, turning around he glared at her even though he did not want to do that but he did.

"I want to tell you something," she said. He stared at her trying to gauge what she could say. But after a while he shook his head.

"I don't want to hear anything," He said coldly, trying to walk away.

"Jeremy" Catherine grabbed his arm as much as he wanted to pull his hand away. He could not see how heavily pregnant she was. Shocking movement might be harmful. She softly put his arm on her stomach. His eyes widened as she smiled softly. Then he felt a powerful kick.

Jeremy looked at her, as her eyes softened and she smiled brightly. Her cheeks flushed like a pregnant woman.

"Can I...I?" Catherine gulped down hesitantly. He unconscious rubbed her stomach making her relaxed.

"You can" the words where out before he can stop himself. Her eyes widen as she softly pressed herself on him. She slowly buried her face on his chest her belly pressing against him. She felt happy and relaxed. It might be because of the hormones that she felt the urge to be close to him all the time. Every time she saw him in front of Coltrane's house she felt the sudden urge to kiss him and hug him and much more. She flushed.

Jeremy was shocked at her sudden hug.

But there is something she needs to tell him or she should have told him months ago. Something that might have not let their relationship be this way. She is hurt but she knows he is much more hurt and in pain like always he is good at hiding it. She pulled away and he already missed her warm body.

"I need to tell you something," Jeremy nodded his head as he focused on her stomach.

"You are nothing like your father" He froze up, feeling shocked. It took awhile for him, before he could process what to say.

"How could you say something like that? Did you forget that I...I?" He struggled to come out with certain words that did not sound cruel.

"I make you leave the house" throws you out of the house? That's the exact words which describe his situation. Jeremy said coldly, removing his hand from her stomach.Catherine smiled softly, Jeremy stared at her as she slowly took his hand and placed it again on her belly, laying her hand above him.

"Because you did not pull me away and when you looked at.." she touched her stomach.

"With warmth" Catherine looked at his eyes as if challenging him to question.

"I know you will be a good father" Jeremy felt choked, this is bad.

All his life he wanted to hear that he is nothing like his father from his mother. But hearing it from her when he throws her out of the house just to spite his mother while knowing very well she has nothing to do with it, yet here she is reassuring him. He turned around trying to control his overwhelming emotions and ready to go away but stopped.

"I will drop you off," he said. Catherine was shocked at his proposal but smiled at him as if to tell him see I am right.

He stopped the car in front of the house. She slowly got down, Jeremy had the urge to help her but stopped restraining himself.

Jeremy shut the door of the car to drive off but he heard her last words, "I love you" his heart clenched.

Those words break his heart. Catherine just confessed her love without any hesitation and here he is still struggling with his past, present and what not.

Why is he so messed up? Why does he try to find reason to push her away even though he promised to try and forget about the past? Then why is he feeling this?

Jeremy closed his eyes knowing very well why he is doing this? His mother always compared him to his father but he is even worse, at least his father never played with his mother's emotion but he is.

He is playing with both her and his emotions. He felt a tear slip from his eyes. When she hugged him he felt the overwhelming urge to hold her and never let her go then again he had no right to do so. He was the one who let her go.

Jeremy yelled punching the steer wheel he stopped.

***************

Thank you for reading and I am so sorry for the late update..

So, What do you think about letter? What is written in it? What about Jeremy?

Do share you comment and thoughts.

I am really sorry.. 🥺🥺

16 February.