Unedited....

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The next time Cassandra opened her eyes, she can feel her whole body throbbing.She blinked her eyes as the heaviness in her body settled down. She felt exhausted.

Cassandra was sitting in the same position for god knows how long. Her eyes particularly stared at nothing. She curled up into a ball. In that way Austin found her in the room sitting on the floor.

He rushed to her, "What happened?"

Austin pulled her in his arms,"Am I only good for rebound?" Cassandra asked him blankly, tears stuck in her eyes. He was shocked when his eyes landed on her collar bone an ugly bite mark formed there.

"No"Austin refused strongly, holding her body close to him. She looked pale, her body shaking for some reason heartached. She was cold and smaller, hurt beyond a reasonable doubt.

"What happened?" Austin asked her softly combing through her hair.

"I am stilll in love with the wrong person " Cassandra said coldly as another tear rolled down her cheek. Austin froze this was the first time he saw her crying so openly in the last two years. She was not crying that much but the way her body shaking. She alway tries to hide her tears behind laughter or cold face but today something feels off. She seemed so faraway even through she is sitting right in front of him.  

"I am useless" Cassandra whispered. Her face turning back to the same blank expression. She detached herself from him. She doesn't want him to see her break down. She was barely holding herself together.

"I want to be alone" Cassandra told him, while Austin shook his head no.

"Please" She pleaded, her lips trembling.

"Cassandra?" He tried again as she shook her head.

"Please Austin" she gulped down painfully.

"Okay" Austin sighed, he did not want to leave her alone but does he have any option.He will let her be alone for a while. But he can feel something bad happened. Coltrane hurt her more than she is letting on. He broke her. Austin clenched his fist. The urge to punch him itching him.

Cassandra slid against the door without locking it. Pulling herself in the ball she sit stilled. Her heart beat increases and she stares again. The same blackness spread through her sense. Her thoughts jumbled into a mess to the point she cannot think clearly.

"Am I only good to be used as a replacement?" Cassandra whispered to herself tears flowed unchecked.Five years she did everything to prove that wrong. And in one moment he broke her conviction. Why did she do this to herself? Why can't she see him pain? Her personality she built all these years break into millio pieces. He broke her self estimate and she let him.

"I am not Catherine" Cassandra whispered.

"I am not Catherine" She repeated again and again but for some reason she doesn't believe it herself now.

"I am not Catherine??" She mocked herself. Isn't it better if she accepts her defeat? Had she not fought for a long time proving to others that she existed. For as long as she can remember she struggling just to prove herself. All this pain and suffering might have ended a long time ago if only she accepted the fact that she is only good for being a replacement.

The remaining part of her heart gets destroyed by the same person she has given her heart to.How many times does he need to break her heart till she understands her worth in his life?

"Why?" She choked and tears fell freely.

Why? She only wanted to help him. Make sure that he is alright but here he is making sure to destroy her completely. But that's not true she knows her heart belongs to him. If he wanted to break it again she would let him. Even if he stomps on it she will bleed and try to act cold. When will she give up, is not 10 years long enough. She pretended to be cold but here she is again. 

Cassandra rubbed her face as a tear roll down her cheek, 'Why cannot you stop loving him and end your suffering?' But she knows if he is hurt, she will be there for him again even though he will hurt her again and again. Not loving him was not an option in her life. Suffocation built up and her body shook in convulsion. Her heart beat speed up as she fainted. 

***********

Austin was fuming the moment he got out of her house, he accelerated towards the same mansion. He did not know what he was trying to do. But he needs to let the fucker know the consequences of messing with her. 

The guards looked at him as he opened the gate without bothering that he was trespassing on his property. He rushed inside.

Mary was cooking when she heard the commotion outside. Her inside crunch when she heard the loud bang on the door. 

"Who the fuck is it?" Her head snapped in the direction of the voice only to notice Mr. Mayor opening the door.

The moment the door opened  Austin landed a punch on his jaw. Her eyes widened in horror.

"What did you do to Cassandra?" Austin asked  him. Coltrane returned the punch. 

"Get out," he ordered.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" He asked again. Coltrane smirked cruelly.

"Why don't you ask her? Or did she refused to tell you, how much she enjoyed.." the moment he said those words a punch landed on his face.

Mary looked at them, her hand shaking in temor tears flushed her eyes as she yelled walking closer to them, "STOP IT " Her words halt their verbal and physical abuse As they stare at her wide eyes.

"Stop it. Stop hurting each other" Mary yelled at them.

"Don't forget you are just a maid" Coltrane grit his teeth.

"You are right I know I am just a maid  but Mr. Mayor don't talk about your own wife like that. I have seen her hurt and crying when she got out of your room not only that she was in pain. That gave me enough right to know you are wrong" Mary glared at him remembering the crying lady. Her eyes filled with tears she always considered Mr.Mayor as a big brother but now....

Austin still stare at her shocked..

"How dare you talk to me like that? You are fired. Take your things and get out of this house right now. I will pay you this month's salary. I want to see you and your mother out by the end of the day" he yelled at her. 

Coltrane turned to Austin, "Get out of my house before I throw you in jail for trespassing" he glared at him coldly.

"I want them out of my house" he gritted his teeth looking at Ben who was standing behind the door looking at Mary as her lips trembled and tears filled her eyes. Coltrane stomped off and Austin was too shocked to react.Then her eyes settled on him even though her heart squeezed as she said those words keeping her expression calm at least that's  what she thought, "I... I know he hurt your friend but coming here and hurting him will not help her. You need to be with her,  Mr. McGregor '' 

Mary look down tears spilled from her eyes as her leg gave away.Instinctively he held her pulling her on her legs, stopping her from falling on the ground. 

"She is right" their eyes snapped to the weakened voice. Both of them turn to look at Meera whose eyes widen looking at the man holding her daughter. She pushed him away.

"Mom you should not be here, go sleep" Mary rushed to her, but her eyes still stuck on Austin.

"Meera" Austin whispered slowly, a soft smile blooming on his face.

"You remember me?" Meera blinked her eyes.

"Yeah" He extended his arms. How could he forget the mother figure. The warmth he always felt around her. Meera smiled as tears stuck her eyes. She slowly makes her way towards him hugging him tightly "I am sorry"

"Where have you been, Meera , it's 18 years?" he asked her. She smiled softly only to faint the next moment. Austin held her closer.

"We need to get her to the hospital" He checked her pulse. Austin pulled her up in his arms and turned to look at Mary.

Marlyn stood their numb not knowing what to do when she felt a warm hand on her wrist. "Let's go" her eyes landed on Austin who rushed to his car dragging her along.

"Open the door" he asked Ben who did as he was told. 

Coltrane could hear the noise, he felt guilty for Meera who has taken care of him since he was a 8 year old kid. But for now he has more pressing matters that included the blunder he made last night.

Coltrane paced around his room. His head throbbing with his face where Austin punched him. What happened last night was a mistake he made. He never intended to use her like that or the way he hurt her. He wanted to let go of marriage altogether as there is no reason for them to be together anymore. He let out a sigh. 

He was totally out of his mind yesterday that's why all of that happened now that he is sane. He needs to talk to Cassandra about what happened including what they are going to do with this marriage. He rubbed his head only to get a landline call.

He picked up sighing, "hello"

"Sir, I am Jamie, your secretary. I tried your cell but it was out of reach. You have a meeting in 1 hour, Sir"

"I will be there and buy me a new phone" Coltrane cut the call sighing. He doesn't have time to think about his messed up personal life. At first he needed to control his professional life with that thought in mind he made his way to the bathroom.

***********

Cassandra still  remembers the day when Coltrane confessed his love for Catherine. They were sitting on the rooftop of their school. 

There graduation is nearer, after spending three years together, this feel like their secret place. Coltrane sighed.

"What happened?" Cassandra asked. He just shook his head. She bite her lips, her heart skipped a beat. After the school transfer incident she noticed how caring he is?

Even though they always fight but she noticed how Coltrane protects her.

Tomorrow is the prom night. Is this why he is sighing? She wanted to ask him out but she is afraid that it will effect their friendship.

"I... I love her" Coltrane mumble out.

"Huh?" Cassandra blinked her eyes, she way into her thoughts that she did not hear his words.

"I love Catherine" Coltrane confessed looking straight in her eyes without any deceit. She froze as she felt numbness spread over her, chilling her to the core. 

"When?"She forced a smile at him before asking when.

"What?" He asked her.

"When did you realize? her inside clenched as she asked him these questions. She did not want to know.

"When I saw her in that beautiful white dress I fell head over heels for her again" Coltrane smiled softly.

"Again?" Cassandra asked, confused.

"Yeah! I always have nostalgic feeling about her but when I saw her childhood picture I remember"

"Remember what?" Cassandra asked him.

Coltrane was sitting in front of his mother's grave. When his father called him. He cautiously walked up to them.

"Coltrane meet Catherine and Catherine this is my son Coltrane" Coltrane looked at her before giving her a slight nod of acknowledgement. Before going back to sit in front of the grave. He did not know why everyone was trying to coddle him. He is fine. The only bad thing that came out of this is that he will never see his mother again.

Catherine silently walked towards Coltrane who was seated on the bench.

She sat beside him looking at the same way he did.

"Crying helps ......................................" she said. He for the first time looked at her.

"Why should I cry?" He asked her coldly even for a seven years old.

Catherine  stood up standing in front of  him and grabbed his cheeks pulling his face up. She smiled at him softly before hugging him tightly.

"Your mom is in the sky just like a star........." 

"Why did mom leave me? Was I a bad boy?" Coltrane asked her.

"My grandma told me that what happens." Catherine explained to him that as an adult she can muster up.

"She sounds like a wise woman" Coltrane wrapped in his arm sobbed softly before crying he was a 7 years old kid after all.

Mr.Caven Mayor looked at them stunt after hearing the news Coltrane never let anyone touch him hugging him was out of question. He only hold onto his mother's ring and seat at a corner.

"Thank you for letting her be here"

"I love Mommy," Coltrane cried. After a while he felt a sort of relief as if something lifted off of his shoulder. He pushed her away slightly. Before extending his hand, "friends"

"Friends" Catherine smiled, her eyes twinkled. She handed him a chocolate.

"Will you stay with me forever?" He held his pinky finger.

She nodded her head ,"I promise"

He doesn't remember most of the conversation but what he does remember was the chocolate she gave him afterwards. That was the same chocolate Catherine loves and seeing the same kid he knows who she was?

Cassandra looked down at her heartbreak and she had no chance from the very beginning, Coltrane always belonged to someone else before she even met him. Then what about Jeremy. Shouldn't she tell him about them? 

But that was not her story to tell. They need to clarify this with him. She is just an outsider. Cassandra forced a smile at him and cheered him on with his love even knowing there will be heartbreak. That was the last time she met him, their interaction gradually decreased. After all she was going through her first heartbreak.

Now that she thought about it she wanted him to feel the same way she did. How it feels to get rejected. That must be the reason Cassandra never told him about Jeremy and Catherine. It was not as they were hiding their relationship but she shook her head blinking her eyes, "You look beautiful sweety" Cassandra abruptly turned around her eyes widened as her legs buckled even though she stayed straight on her leg. She was wearing a black colour knee length dress a bit old fashioned for her taste but her grandmother selected it otherwise she would have worn trousers.

"Thank you" Cassandra  smiled as her grandmother smiled back softly.

"Who will pick you up?" She asked curiously, wiggling her eyebrows. Cassandra gulped down as She has yet to tell her grandmother that history is repeating itself.

"Aaron" she said those words bitterly. She did not want to go to this reunion but Aaron forced her to go. He was studying medical science in the neighbourhood  college. 

"Don't stay out late come back early" her grandmother warned her as she nodded her head. Grandma turned to leave but stopped, "Are you alright dear?" 

"Yes" Cassandra nod her head gulping down.

"Why do you ask?" She asked her grandmother.

"If you ever feel like taking I am here sweety" Her grandma softly patted her head before turning to leave.

"Grandma" Cassandra was debating with herself whether she want to tell her or not. Her grandma looked at her waiting for her to say something. 

"Coltrane loves Catherine, I love Coltrane. What should I do?" She needs to get this off of her chest.

Her grandmother froze and stare at her for a while.

"Cassandra stay away from him" Grandma warn her.

"But.." Casssandra tried to say something.

"I asked you to stay away from him, Cassandra" She glare at her.

"But grandma…" Her grandma slapped her right across her face. 

"Stay away from that Coltrane. Let him be. Do you hear me?" Cassandra was not expecting the slap. Tears filled her eyes. She wanted her grandmother to understand.

"I won't," Cassandra stared at her grandma who had a guilty expression for slapping her.

"I am sorry, honey" her grandma's hand extended to caress her cheeks but she turned away.

"You are still stuck in the past. Why don't you understand how I feel? What about my wishes? I don't want to talk to you ever again…." Cassandra snapped before rushing out. She heard her grandmother calling her name saying how she does not want her to get hurt. But her anger clouded her judgment. She thought her grandma would understand what she was going through. But like any other she burdens her with her thoughts and what happened to her ex-daughter.

"You seem to be in a foul mood" Aaron mocked but only got silences as an answer. He parked the car in front of Coltrane's house. 

"I need some fresh air. I will come in later" Cassandra said those words mechanically and stayed  seated. Her cheeks throbbed. Her thoughts wander from the first time she meet Coltrane and how she fell in love with him not bothering to get inside. She don't know how much time passed. Aaron must be busy with some other chicks. She rolled her eyes getting out. When she saw Catherine with Jeremy. She was wearing a black dress too. That means grandma might have chosen two similar clothes to make sure only one exists and the other remains a shadow. She felt hurt.Her eyes wandered to the time it's only 8 p.m. She walked and stopped  in front of them. Jeremy's eyes widen as he hugged her smiling softly. She returned the smile at first forcefully but later on it became a full fledged smile. Catherine forced a smile.

 "It's  only 8 p.m. Where are you going?" Cassandra asked.

"Catherine's  not feeling well. So, I will drop her home" Jeremy answered her.

"Can I talk to her privately?" Catherine asked. Jeremy gave her a confused look before nodding his head , " I will wait for you" he removed himself making his way out.

Catherine nervously fidgets, biting her lips. Cassandra blinked then snapped at her, "What do you want?" She flinched at the cold voice.

"I..... Coltrane proposed to me... I rejected him" Catherine looked in her eyes while saying those words. She was determined to prove that history will not repeat itself. 

Cassandra just gives her a curt nod before turning back to get inside. Her stomach crunch. She might have wanted to have him taste the medicine of rejection but now she felt dejected. It was her policy to give back what you get. Why would she change now all of a sudden. She entered the hall way where the party was held.

***********

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In this chapter, I for the first time reached 1k. I was super happy at that time and it motivated me to write. Now that it's  almost 123k.

I want to thank all of my wonderful readers who have been with me through out the journey. And those who are new to this journey.

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