I'm so tired. Every part of me aches, like my body's given up the fight and is just waiting for the end. The hospital bed feels both familiar and alien - I've spent so much time here, but now it feels... final.

The beeping of the machines fades in and out as I drift between consciousness and sleep. I know what's coming. I've known for a while now, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm scared. God, I'm so scared. 

But I also know it's time.

I force my eyes open, blinking against the harsh fluorescent lights. Mum's face swims into view, her eyes red and puffy. Dad's there too, trying to be strong but I can see the pain etched into every line of his face. Meri stands at the foot of the bed, holding onto Nathan's hand like it's a lifeline.

It sucks that the rest of the family is stuck in the waiting room, but I get it. Too many people would just make this harder. And it's already the hardest thing I've ever done.

"Mum," I croak out, my voice barely above a whisper. She's at my side in an instant, her warm hand enveloping mine.

"I'm here, sweetheart," she says, her voice breaking. "I'm right here."

I try to squeeze her hand, but I'm not sure if I manage it. Everything feels so heavy. "I'm sorry," I whisper.

Mum shakes her head fiercely. "No, baby. You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing."

"I didn't want to leave you like this," I say, feeling the tears start to well up. "I wanted more time. There's so much I still wanted to do."

"Oh, Beth," Mum says, and now she's crying too. "You've done so much. You've touched so many lives. We're so proud of you, sweetie. So, so proud."

I manage a weak smile. "Even though I dropped out of college?"

Mum lets out a watery laugh. "Especially because you dropped out of college. You followed your heart, Beth. You did what was right for you, and look at all the good you've done."

"I'm scared," I admit, my voice small. "I don't want to go."

She leans in, pressing her forehead to mine. "I know, baby. I know. But you're so brave, Beth. You're the bravest person I know."

We sit like that for a while, just being close. I breathe in her familiar scent - lavender and home - trying to memorize it.

"Promise me something?" I ask after a while.

"Anything," Mom says instantly.

"Don't let this break you. I need you to be okay. Eventually, at least."

Mum pulls back. "Elizabeth Reid, you listen to me. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Being your mother has been the greatest joy of my life. And yes, this hurts. It hurts more than I can bear sometimes. But I promise you, I will keep living. For you. I will make sure your legacy continues. I will make sure the world remembers how amazing you are."

I'm full-on crying now, and it hurts, but I don't care. "I love you, Mum. So much."

"I love you too, baby girl. More than you could ever know."

We hold onto each other for a long time, until I feel myself starting to drift again. When I open my eyes next, Dad's there.

"Hey, kiddo," he says softly, his hand resting on my arm.

"Hi, Dad," I manage.

He tries to smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "How you holding up?"

I almost laugh at the absurdity of the question. "Oh, you know. Just peachy."

That gets a real smile out of him, albeit a sad one. "There's my girl. Always with the smartass comments."

"Learned from the best," I reply.

Dad's quiet for a moment, and I can see him struggling to find the words. My dad, who always knows what to say, is at a loss.

"It's okay, Dad," I say. "You don't have to say anything."

He shakes his head. "No, I do. I need to. Beth, I... I'm sorry."

Now it's my turn to be confused. "For what?"

"Honestly? I don't know. For not being there enough, I guess. For..."

"Dad, stop," I interrupt. "You were there. You've always been there when it mattered."

He looks at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "But I should have been there more."

"Dad... stop." 

He's crying now. "I'm so proud of you, Beth. So damn proud. You've done more in your short life than most people do in a lifetime."

"I had good role models," I say, attempting a smile.

Dad leans in, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I love you, kiddo. More than anything in this world."

"I love you too, Dad."

We sit in silence for a while, Dad holding my hand. It's comforting, familiar. Like when I was little and he'd check for monsters under the bed. I wish he could chase away this monster too.

"Dad?" I say after a while.

"Yeah?"

"Will you... will you make sure Mum's okay? And Meri? I know they'll have each other, but..."

"Of course," Dad says instantly. "I'll take care of them. I promise."

I nod, feeling a weight lift off my chest.

I hear a small sniffle from the end of the bed. Meri's standing there, her big brown eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, squirt," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "Come here."

Mum gently lifts Meri onto the bed, and she crawls up next to me, careful not to disturb any of the tubes or wires.

"Beth," she says, her little voice trembling. "Are you going away?"

My heart breaks all over again. How do you explain death to a seven-year-old? "Yeah, sweetheart. I am."

"But why?" Meri asks, her lower lip quivering. "Can't the doctors make you better?"

I shake my head slowly. "Not this time, Mer. Sometimes... sometimes people get too sick for the doctors to fix."

"But that's not fair!" Meri cries, tears spilling down her cheeks. "You're supposed to stay and play with me and help me with my homework and come to my school plays!"

I feel my own tears start to fall. "I know. I wish I could do all those things. But you know what? Even though I won't be here, I'll always be watching over you."

Meri looks at me sceptically. "Like a guardian angel?"

I manage a small smile. "Exactly like a guardian angel. And every time you see a butterfly or a shooting star, that'll be me saying hi."

Meri thinks about this for a moment. "Promise?"

"I promise," I say, holding out my pinkie. Meri links her tiny pinkie with mine, sealing the deal.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Beth," she says, her voice small and sad.

"I'm going to miss you too. But I need you to do something for me, okay?"

Meri nods. "Anything."

"I need you to be brave. And I need you to take care of Mum and Dad for me. Can you do that?"

Meri sits up straighter, her chin jutting out. "I can do that. I'll be the bravest girl ever."

"I know you will," I say. "And Meri? It's okay to be sad sometimes. It's okay to cry and to miss me. But I want you to be happy too. I want you to laugh and play and have fun. Can you do that for me?"

Meri nods, tears still rolling down her cheeks. "I'll try, Beth. I promise I'll try."

"That's my girl," I say, reaching out to ruffle her hair. "Come here, give me a hug."

Meri carefully wraps her arms around me, and I hold her as tightly as I can. I breathe in the scent of her strawberry shampoo, trying to memorize everything about this moment.

"I love you, Meri," I whisper. "To the moon and back."

"I love you too, Beth," she says. "To the moon and back and all around the stars."

We stay like that for a while, until Mum gently lifts her off the bed. As they walk away, I hear Meri ask, "Mummy, can we get butterflies for the garden? So Beth can visit us?"

I close my eyes, overwhelmed by the love I feel for my family. When I open them again, Nathan's there.

My Nathan. My husband. My best friend. My everything.

He takes my hand, and I can feel him trembling. "Hey, beautiful," he says.

"Hey, handsome," I reply, trying to smile. "Come here often?"

Nathan lets out a choked laugh. "Only when there's a pretty girl to visit."

He leans in, pressing his forehead to mine, and for a moment we just breathe together. I can feel his tears mixing with mine.

"I don't want to say goodbye," he whispers. "I'm not ready."

"I'm not either," I admit. "I don't think I'll ever be ready to leave you."

Nathan pulls back slightly, his blue eyes locked on mine. "Beth, I... God, I don't even know what to say. How do I tell you everything you mean to me?"

I squeeze his hand weakly. "You don't have to say anything. I know."

But Nathan shakes his head. "No, I need to say this. Beth, you... you're the best thing that ever happened to me. You're my soulmate, my partner in crime, my favourite person in the whole world. Marrying you was the smartest thing I've ever done."

I feel a sob building in my chest. "Even though you knew... even though you knew this was coming?"

"Especially because I knew this was coming," Nathan says. "Every moment with you has been a gift, Beth. I wouldn't trade our time together for anything."

He brings my hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle gently. "Remember our wedding day? When I promised to love you in sickness and in health, till death do us part?"

I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.

"Well, I lied," Nathan continues. "Because death isn't going to part us, Beth. I'm going to love you forever. In this life and whatever comes after."

The tears are flowing freely now, from both of us. "I love you so much, Nathan," I manage to choke out. "I'm so sorry I have to leave you."

Nathan shakes his head. "Don't be sorry. You've given me more love and happiness than I ever thought possible. You've made me a better person. You've changed the world, Beth. And you've changed my life in the best way possible."

He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being you."

I kiss him back, pouring all my love, all my hopes and dreams, everything I am into that kiss. When we part, I whisper, "Thank you for being my person. For supporting me through everything. For loving me, even on the bad days."

Nathan smiles through his tears. "Especially on the bad days. That's when you needed it most."

We sit in silence for a while, just holding each other. I can feel myself getting weaker, my breaths coming shorter.

"Nathan?" I say softly.

"Yeah, love?"

"Will you... will you hold me? Until it's time?"

Nathan nods, carefully climbing onto the bed beside me. He wraps his arms around me, and I lean into his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"I'm scared," I admit quietly.

"I know," Nathan says, his voice breaking. "But I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

I close my eyes, feeling safe in his arms. "Tell me about our future," I whisper. "The one we dreamed about."

Nathan takes a shaky breath. "We buy that little house by the lake. The one with the red door and the big porch. We get a dog - a big, goofy golden retriever. We name him Pancake, because that's ridiculous and perfect."

I smile, picturing it all. "What else?"

"We travel the world. We see the Northern Lights in Iceland. We ride camels in Egypt. We eat too much pasta in Italy and dance badly at Carnival in Brazil."

"That sounds amazing," I murmur.

"And then," Nathan continues, his voice soft and warm, "when we're ready, we start a family. We have two kids - a boy and a girl. They have your smile and my terrible sense of humour."

I feel a tear slip down my cheek. "What are their names?"

"The boy is James. And the girl... the girl is Elizabeth. After the bravest, kindest, most amazing woman I've ever known."

I open my eyes, looking up at Nathan. "I wish we could have had that future."

"Me too, love," he says, kissing my forehead. "But you know what? In some ways, we did have it. We loved a lifetime's worth in the time we had. And that's pretty amazing."

I can feel it coming. The end. It's weird, you know? Like I'm floating, but also sinking at the same time. Nathan's arms are around me, and I can hear Mom trying not to cry. Dad's being all stoic, but I know he's falling apart inside.

"Nathan?" My voice is barely there. God, I'm so tired.

"I'm here, babe. Right here." His voice cracks, and it breaks my heart all over again.

"Thanks for... for everything. For loving me. For being you." Talking's hard, but I need to say this. "You made my life... worth living."

He squeezes me gently. "Beth, you... you're everything. My best friend. My whole world. I love you so much it hurts."

I try to smile. Maybe I manage it, I'm not sure. Everything's getting fuzzy around the edges.

I can hear Meri sniffling. Poor kid. This sucks for her. For all of them. But they'll be okay. They have to be.

"Mum? Dad?" I mumble.

They're there in an instant, holding my hands. I wish I could squeeze back, but I just don't have the strength anymore.

"We love you, sweetheart," Mum says, her voice wobbly. "So, so much."

"My brave girl," Dad adds.

I want to say more. To tell them how much they mean to me. How grateful I am for everything. But the words won't come. It's like they're stuck somewhere between my brain and my mouth.

But maybe... maybe they know. God, I hope they know.

The room's getting darker, or maybe that's just me. I'm not scared though, not anymore. I did what I set out to do. I made a difference. Left my mark.

It's enough. It has to be.

With the last bit of energy I have, I whisper, "It's time."

I feel Nathan's arms tighten around me. Hear Mum sobbing. Feel Dad's hand on my forehead.

I close my eyes. Take one last breath.

Because no cancer would decide when I died.