Erin McAfee

"Rise and shine!" Jowee sang enthusiastically as she forcefully slid open my bedroom drapes to which the sun rays quickly lighting up my room.

I shield my eyes using the pillow beside me.

"Get up, Erin. You need to get up!" Jowee held both of my arms and lifted me up from the bed.

"Jowee, what the hell are you doing here in this hour?" I asked while still my eyes were closed.

"You're going shopping with me today!" she said in a stern voice.

"I swear I'm not in the mood to---"

"I don't care, whether you like it or not, you will accompany me today. It's been three days since you and Zac had the biggest fight in the history, it's time for you to go out and have fun. You have to unwind and stop feeling so sad. Get up. Come on, I've had enough already with you and Livy's heartaches." she pulled me out of the bed forcefully and shove me inside my bathroom.

Geez, how can she have so much energy and strength in the morning.

I heaved a sigh and took a sight of myself through the mirror. What I saw didn't shock me, it's the same sad pale faced woman I've been seeing since three days ago.

That night, Jowee was about to return the book that she borrowed from me, apparently she was ringing the doorbell for quite sometime and decided to let herself in as she knew my passcode. As she entered my apartment, she saw me crying then ran towards me and engulfed me in a hug. She whispered soothing words to me until I finally calmed down from thereon, I told her everything.

"Go quickly Erin, we only have an hour til our scheduled brunch reservations at Monroe." I heard her muffled voice on the side of the door.

I took a deep breath and showered quickly because if we missed her reservation at her favorite restaurant, it'll be the death of me. Let's just say that grumpy Jowee Bradley is not the best person to be with.

After 30 minutes, I emerged from the bathroom fresh and completely done with my hair and makeup, I saw atop my bed the clothes that Jowee prepared for me. It's a blush colored spaghetti strapped A line dress with a dainty frill along the hem beside the dress was the tote bag with the same color as the dress lastly, placed by my bed was a nudish blushed colored strapped heels.

All in all, it gives off a cheerful vibe which was a total opposite of what I was feeling at the moment. Nonetheless, I smiled at the Jowee's little effort of cheering me up.

I was in the midst of strapping on my heels when Jowee entered my room.

"Oops, thank God, you're done now! C'mon." she grabbed my tote bag but before she can exit my room, I pulled her into a bear hug.

"Thank you, Jowee! Thank you for being there with me and Olivia. I know it's tough for you to nurse both of us and I want you to know that we really really appreciate everything." I thanked because honestly, it takes a strong person to be emotionally there for a single person, what more if there are two. So kudos to her for cheering us up.

She patted my back gently and hugged me tightly.

"We're sisters, Erin, you know that and we love one another so much! One's grief is everyone's grief. When I was at my lowest, you and Olivia were there for me. WE are always there for each other, we transcend everything as long as we're together. Right?" she looked me in the eye and I smiled at her.

I nodded. I am so thankful that I have found these two crazies and get to keep them for the rest of my life.

"So, let's go. We need to be at Monroe's in 20 minutes." Jowee announced and pulled me out of my room.

For the whole day, we pigged out, went shopping and wasted our money to nonsense stuff. It was like we were teens again where we didn't care about how much have we already wasted our money and just bought the stuff that we liked not caring about our budget.

I just wish that Livy's here with us, unlike me, she has no one to spend time with in Dubai, loneliness and memories will surely eat her alive. Now, I understand where Zac's coming from but still his words were like a knife that cuts through me.

I heaved a sigh while playing the spaghetti with my fork.

"Erin, I think it's time for you to tell Olivia." I snapped my head quickly at Jowee and quickly shook my head.

"NO! Are you kidding me?! No. No. No. No. No." I replied.

"But Erin, this concerns---"

"Olivia has a lot in her plate right now, Jowee, the last thing I want is to add another one. Besides, this is between me and Zac." I interrupted her.

"That's exactly my point, it's between you and Zac, both of you are in a relationship so you should fix whatever's going on between you two. Stop being so depressed for days Erin and call him to have a talk with you. This fight between you two has been going on for days which should not be the case because you two can still talk this out!"

"You don't understand Jowee..."

"Of course I don't because I am not part of your relationship with Zac." I furrowed my brows at her because now she's being confusing.

She sighed and rolled her eyes at me.

"What I meant was that no one understands the situation best than you and Zac. I believe it's time for you two to address your issues with one another, that way, you'll know what was the real issue between you two!" Jowee explained and she's right, I couldn't agree more.

But I'm not yet ready to see him nor hear everything he has to say. I know for a fact that if he unfolds everything to me it will crush me.

I felt Jowee's hand held mine and she spoke, "It's hard Erin, but it's the only way." She wiped my cheek because I failed to stop myself from tearing up.

"I know, Jowee. Thanks for today, by the way." I smiled at her and wiped my tears with my hanky.

"Of course, I will always be here for you and Olivia. Enough with everything, finish your food so we can go home now." She said like a mother who's scolding her daughter for not eating quickly.

"I miss Livy, Jowee. I just hope that she's with us right this moment."

She smiled sadly at me, "I miss her too but she needed to be away from everyone and cope by herself."

I nodded and proceeded to eat my spaghetti.

The next day, I woke up before my alarm and went on with my day. Today I planned on having the talk with Zac, I texted him last night that I'll be going to his office or apartment tomorrow to have a talk with him but as always, he didn't reply. I guess I'll just have to rely on myself today.

When the clock strikes at 4pm, I went out of my office and drove to NGC, the receptionist smiled at and let me in without a doubt because they already knew me as Olivia's best friend. I went straight ahead to the lift and went up to the top floor where Zac's office was located.

As I went inside Zac's floor, my heart was thumping loudly and fast because of the nervousness I was feeling. But I am already here and already made up my mind that whatever happens, I'll have the talk with him today.

After taking a couple of deep breaths, I walked inside and went straight to Jane's area. She was busy typing something on her laptop when I stood in front of her.

"Hi Jane, is Zac in his office?" She was a bit startled then quickly composed herself.

"Ms. McAfee, good afternoon, Mr. North is still in a meeting, you may wait inside his office if you want." She smiled at me.

Okay... At least I know he's here.

"Alright but may I ask his remaining schedule for the day?" I asked her.

"After this meeting, he's free for the day, Miss." Jane replied and I nodded.

"Okay, I guess I'll just wait for him in his office." I said and she stood up to accompany me in Zac's office.

As the doors closed, I took in the interior of his office. It has a surprisingly calming aura into it. This was my second time stepping foot in his office and the first time to observe it.

Half of the room were glass where you can see the beautiful concrete jungle. In the middle of the room sat his huge mahogany table where his computer and laptop was located. Adjacent to the table was a black L-shaped couch and its matching coffee table perfect for a brief meeting or catch up with his visitors.

All in all, his office reflects his personality perfectly --- intimidating yet calming.

I sighed when I sat on the couch nervousness start to creep back in me so I started to rehearse how am I going to greet him when he entered his office.

Suffice to say that I've already practiced a lot of greetings while waiting for him, I looked at my wristwatch and it was already quarter to five, meaning, it was already 30 minutes since I came here. Now, I'm starting to think of backing out.

Should I back out today and reschedule or just get on with it today?

I think I should go for former, right? Yes, yes, I should probably go...

I stood up and went towards the door, as I was going to hold on to the knob, the door opened and I came face to face with a very annoyed Zachary.

Shocked was his initial reaction when he saw me but it settled into annoyance. Very far from the emotions lingered in his eyes whenever he sees me back then.

"Uhmm... Hello, Za---"

"What are you doing here?" He asked in annoyance after he closed the door.

"I told you, I am here to talk to you. I texted you last night." I replied following him but then he quickly halted and faced me.

"I know but I didn't acknowledge your text. So, is it going to be like this from now on? You'll do whatever you want to do even if YOU know that I won't like it?" He said in an eerily calm voice but his demeanor says otherwise.

But what the fuck did he just said? Breathe Erin, breathe. You need to take the high road and be the bigger person here. You're here to fix this not to dig the hole deeper.

"Then you should've replied to me. A simple No won't waste your time." I snide at him.

"But not replying means No also, given our situation right now." He said in the same tone.

"That's exactly why I am here, because of our situation. Zac, I am your girlfriend, we are in a relationship, the most logical we do is to talk about the---"

"There's nothing we can talk about today, I'm busy." He interrupted me again by dismissing me and went to sit on his chair, but I held her arm and faced him to me abruptly.

"No! It's been days since we fought that night, I believe we have to settle everything out for God's sake." I couldn't contain my irritation anymore so I raised my voice a little.

"Then add more days to it, I'm busy, I have a lot in my plate Erin, so can you please just go for today?" He removed my hand holding his arm and brushed his hair up as if I was giving him a hard time.

"See, that's what's wrong with you! You keep everything to yourself! You don't want to open yourself to anyone." He glared at me when I said it to him.

"I don't see the need to do so and what are you, a therapist? Erin, yes you're my girlfriend but that doesn't mean you should know everything! You think you know everything for what? To decide what you think is "best" for that person? Just like what you did to Livy?" He spite and his eyes turned a shade of dark blue.

Oh so now we're back to square one.

"See, that's what I was talking about. This is still because of me keeping things from you. I understand where you are coming from that's why even if the words you said to me that night hurt, I accepted it because I UNDERSTAND YOU! But what about me? Huh? What about MY side? Are you really not going to listen to my explanations? Are you really not going to hear me out? Did you think I liked lying to you? Did you think I want Olivia to go to Dubai? And did you think that I will tell Niccolo where Olivia went? Or did you just conclude everything from Markus' reports?"

This time, I was already hyperventilating while controlling my tears not to stream down to my face. Ugh. I tell you, it's hard to balance your emotions when you're at the peak of it.

"I was right. You didn't give a fuck about my side of the story because YOU," I pointed my index finger at him and continued, "were busy making THIS whole situation about YOU!"

"Zac, can't you understand? I was sandwiched between my friendship with your sister and my relationship with you. It was so hard for me also because I was torn between telling you and not telling you! I knew sooner or later that you will know that lied to you and will get mad at me but I never expected that you will not give me the benefit of the doubt!"

I paused to wait for his response but he just gave me the kind of glare that can make you squirm because of the intensity of it but I won't deter from it.

"Because I've told you the depth on how much should I protect my sister. I thought you understand but no, you didn't, Erin. You didn't understand me or my responsibility about my sister!" He retorted angrily after awhile.

I scoffed at him.

"This is not about your sister Zac, it's about yourself! There are some issues you need to fix for yourself. Stop using Livy as your excuse, Zachary!"

The moment I told him that, he became livid. His stance became dangerous and if I were a man, I knew I would have tasted his fist seconds ago.

"Leave. While I'm still being nice, Erin." He stated dangerously.

"I won't leave until we finished---"

"I said LEAVE!" He banged his fist on the table and it made me jumped a little because of the impact.

So, I did what he wanted, I left him there fuming in anger but I wasn't sorry though for I have already said what I wanted to tell him. It's up to him whether he'll interpret it in a good or bad way.

However I still feel guilty for what I've said to him and left him like that. Knowing him, I know he won't dwell on the negative feelings and that he will let it eat him. But there's nothing I can do anymore it's time for him to face the shadows he kept behind him for years.

I just wish that he's ready and willing to face them.

That night, I was so consumed by my guilt to the point that I wanted to go to his apartment and take back everything I said to but I reminded myself that I've done my part and that I should wait for him to come to me to tell me the decision he had made for himself.

So, instead of going to him, I went to a bar and drank my emotions and thoughts away.

"Long time no see." I heard a familiar deep husky voice spoke to my left and when I faced the person, I smiled widely.

"Alex!" But my smile instantly vanished when I remembered that I disassociated myself from him when Zac and I started dating.

Nonetheless, he gave me a brief warm hug.

"Erin, what are you doing here?" He asked as he sat next to me.

"I'm here to organize my thoughts. How about you? Are you here alone? Or with someone?" I asked him hoping that he's not with Niccolo tonight.

"I'm with a friend, actually. Don't worry, it's not Niccolo." He clarified immediately as he saw the changing of my expression.

I heaved a sigh and shook my head.

"What are you having?" He asked while looking at the drink I was holding.

"Gin Mare." I answered awkwardly because it was so uncomfortable for me to have him beside me talking to me casually as if I had done nothing wrong to him. I mean not that I intended to do it on him.

"Oh. Jose, Bourbon please." He ordered then asked me again, "what's running in your mind?"

I looked at him and shook my head.

"Is it about Zac?" He asked timidly. I looked at him guiltily. So instead of answering him, I asked him a question that I was so afraid to ask him since he knew about me and Zac. And that this was the reason why I haven't contacted him.

"Alex, why are you not mad at me? I mean I haven't contacted you for the past months to explain everything to you, why are you not mad at me?" I asked him and he smiled at me genuinely.

"Because I know, Erin. From the start, that you have feelings towards Zachary. I could see everything in your eyes, the way you looked at him, the way you responded under his stare, and of course, the way you get illogical when it comes to him. Also, you made it clear to me from the start that you only see me as a friend however, despite that, I still insisted on showing how much I like you so it wasn't your fault, Erin. That's why I am not mad at you." He explained however, in spite of his cheerful persona, I could still see the pain in his eyes that I guess I was the one who caused it.

"Alex, I swear I never wanted to hurt you. Because of my negligence and indecisiveness that time, I thought you felt that I was only using you but believe it or not, I actually enjoyed your company as a friend. So I'm really really sorry, Alex, I never intended to hurt you in any way." I apologized sincerely to him and held his hand.

"I know, Erin, I know. So don't worry about me being mad at you or what not because I wasn't. And stop apologizing and feeling guilty, I'm okay now." He assured me and I hugged him feeling the weight on my chest has been lifted off of me.

"Thank you, Alex. Thank you for your understanding."

If only Zac was understanding as Alex, then we wouldn't be having this huge fight where I don't know headed to.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're sporting a long face?" He asked after he sipped his drink.

"Let's just say, it's complicated." I answered with a sigh.

"I know it's about Zac, and I won't force you to tell me, I just want you to know that I'm still here to be your crying shoulder." He reminded me and I smiled then I offered him a cheers and we clanked our glasses.

After that, we talked a lot of stuff.

Hello loves,

Sorry I didn't post an update yesterday but I'll try to update on Tuesday.

Did you like this chapter though? Please give it a vote. Oh I also want to know if a lot you came from Olivia's Knights or my new readers? Please comment, how you stumbled upon my books. Hehe.

Anyway, what are your thoughts about this chapter? Please drop your comments also. I'm curious about your reactions. Hehe.

As always, thank you for reading my book.

xo,
kimmypatata