Erin McAfee

I woke up in a very good mood today. I felt so light and cheerful inside, I guess today will be a great day for me.

Since I woke up extra early, I took my time in picking up my clothes for today and I spent an extra time in getting ready.

I even jammed to my favorite songs while I cooked my breakfast.

Ah.. it's been a long time since I was in a good mood.

After I had breakfast, I received a call from Brenda, my boss, that we're having an urgent and very important meeting today regarding the project me and Josie are partnering.

Now, Josie, Brenda tried to call her but she wasn't answering so I volunteered to fetch her instead. Also, I knew very well that she went clubbing last night because she invited me to and I refused.

So, let me just go and wake up the sleeping hangover princess.

A little story about me and Josie, she and I are closed colleagues. We hang out together in our early years as a junior editor-in-chief. She's a very beautiful and kind woman. She may look like a bitch just like in the movie but she wasn't. That's why I've gotten so close with her.

Anyway, as I arrived at her apartment, I keyed in her passcode and went inside. I knew very well that she's sleeping soundly so I went straight to her room and opened the door widely.

"Josie, wake up, Brenda called for an emergency mee..." I stopped in my tracks when I saw Zac hovering over Josie while both of them were very naked.

I felt a stinging pain in my chest and I just wanted to cry. Why? Why did I have to see this? Why did it have to be him?

He was also looking at me and I couldn't read his eyes. And that's when I wanted cry, the intense emotions hovering in his eyes whenever he looked at me were now gone and was now replaced by voidance.

"Oh my God. Erin." Our staring contest was cut by Josie's reaction so I turned around quickly when I felt my eyes starting to moist.

"I'm so sorry. I'll text you the meeting details." I said and immediately shut the door.

I ran out of her apartment and towards the lift. As the lift descended the basement parking lot, I texted Josie the details while telling myself to not cry until I am inside my car.

As I got inside my car, the tears that I was controlling fell down automatically.

It hurts. It hurts so much to see the person you're in love with was in a bed with your friend. How did they know each other? Why did it have to be Josie?

Silly me, why couldn't she? She's everything he wanted. Tall, beautiful, sexy, and has model-like figure. Did I really think that he would settle for a woman like me who's out of his league?

Oh my God.

I placed my head on my steering wheel and wept for God knows how many minutes until my phone rang.

I looked at the caller ID and saw Brenda's name. I immediately drank the bottled water on my cup holder and quickly fixed myself before answering her.

"Brenda." I answered in a professional tone. Thank God my voice didn't crack or else I have a shit ton of explanation to tell.

"Erin, honey, where are you?" She asked in a motherly tone which made me calm a bit.

"I'm driving... On my way to the company." I shook my head because of my lame response.

"Oh. Okay. Josie already answered my call and thank you for telling her. Drive safe, dear."

I smiled and bid my goodbye.

Before I drove off, I took a wipe from my bag and wiped away my tear strained face and retouched my makeup.

You can do this, Erin. It's hard, but just look at the bright side, you only have eight hours before you call it a day. Just eight hours and the day is done.

And with that, I drove off towards the company.

"Erin, your meeting with Brenda will be at Conference Room 3 in 30 minutes. The necessary files are already on your table." Chloe said when she saw me entered my office.

I nodded at her and placed my bag on the table then reviewed the files before I go to our meeting.

"Do you want me to get you a coffee or tea?" Chloe offered.

"Iced Americano." I said and dismissed her.

I reviewed the files but the images I saw earlier keeps on replaying inside my mind.

I groaned and shut my eyes off. Times like this, I want to have a delete button in my brain to erase everything!

Please go away. Please. I told myself mentally. Then I heard a knock on my door, I didn't bother to look at it because I know it's just Chloe.

"Erin." I opened my eyes and saw Josie smiling sadly at me.

"Oh. It's time already?" I was going to stand up but she prevented me by closing my door and entering my office.

"No. Not yet. I..." She took a deep breath and continued, "I'm so sorry you had to see that." She apologized sincerely and I shook my head.

"No, it's not your fault. I barged into your apartment without my apprised. So between you and I, I should be the one seeking your apologise." I stood up and faced her.

It's true though, I shouldn't have barged in like that. I violated her privacy and abused my temporary right to key in her password.

I shouldn't have done that. I should've called her and/or rang her doorbell that way I wouldn't even see who and what they were doing.

"No. I'm apologising because I hooked up with Zachary North. I know you dated him briefly but still, I shouldn't have done it with him. But I swear to God, I didn't know that the one I made out with last night was the Zachary North. I'm so sorry, Erin, I really do. I hope this won't ruin our friendship." She took my hand and held both of it.

Oh yeah, it became a rumor here in the office that Zac and I were dating because of the stunt I did the night we welcomed Jordan.

But when I looked at Josie's eyes, I saw pure sincerity in them so, I smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

"You don't have to apologise. Zac and I were not a thing and don't you worry, it won't ruin our friendship. You're still my Jojo melon." I smiled widely at her and she chuckled.

"Oh thank God. I promised that it won't happen again, Erin." She hugged me and I laughed.

I hugged her back and even though I felt light with what she said, the annoying weight in my chest seeing them were still there.

It wasn't about me catching Josie and Zac having sex. It was about me foolishly thinking that somehow, Zac has started to like me and he was jealous of Alex chasing me. It's so lame you know, thinking that the man I dreamt of was finally noticing me with just the little attention he's giving me.

I was such an idiot for thinking that.

"I told you, it's okay." I chuckled at her and removed myself when Chloe announced that my coffee was here.

The day went by with me barely holding on to what I was feeling. Seeing Josie throughout the day wasn't helping either. Everytime I looked at her, I could still see how Zac hovered over her and give her pleasure.

It was as if a knife was kept on slicing my heart into million pieces.

This pain I was feeling was a hundred times painful than that I felt when I saw Zac entering a hotel with a woman after he stole my first kiss.

This was unbearable and to top it all off, I had no one to tell what I was feeling to. I didn't have the guts to tell this to Olivia nor Jowee because this would mean I have to tell them everything and I was not yet ready. Besides, what would I tell them? That I was hurt by Zac even though we never and hadn't shared any relationship other than making out?

Whatever angle I look, it was still my fault why I was hurting like this. If I didn't assume anything and stayed away as far as possible to Zac, I wouldn't be hurt.

A week gone by and I was not in the mood for anything. I barely ate, I ditched Olivia and Jowee's invitation for a girl's night, and I became a bit distant from everyone.

Up until now, I was blaming myself for hurting like this. If it wasn't about me expecting anything from Zac, I wouldn't be this hurt.

"The cake looks appetizing to me." I looked at my right and saw Alex smiling widely at me.

I smiled and stood up to hug him briefly.

"Alex! What are you doing here? Take a sit if you want." I offered him the chair in front of me.

"I was going to buy a coffee then I saw a woman who's busy staring at her cake." He said while making himself comfortable in his seat.

I smiled at him.

"I was just preoccupied." I said vaguely.

"Oh. I thought you didn't like the cake. Too bad. I was going to ask you to give it to me. I heard this cafe is famous for its cakes." He eyed the cake with intense amount of craving.

He's correct though, this cafe was famous for its cakes and it was near to my apartment. I came here today with the intention to have some of my comfort food but I guess even them couldn't give me comfort.

"Here." I slid the cake to him. "You can have it." I added.

He smiled widely at me but then his face quickly became serious.

"What's going on with you? I know it's not my place to ask anything but I can't help it because you were so down since I saw awhile ago." He explained.

I looked at him without giving off any reaction and I guess it made him a little uncomfortable so he cleared his throat and returned his gaze to the carrot cake.

"Erin, I'm so sorry if I crossed the line again. It's just that..." He looked at me and I was still sporting the same facial expression so he sighed.

"I'm sorry." He apologized and that's when I laughed.

I laughed so hard I even hit the table and held my stomach.

"You looked so funny." I said in between laughs.

"Oh my God." I laughed aloud while he's shaking his head in disbelief.

After a minute, I regained my composure and smiled at him.

"You looked so funny, Alex. Why did you have to apologise? You're not crossing the line, you know." I patted his hand briefly then sipped my tea.

"I just didn't want you to bead at me again." He fixed his collar and I laughed again.

Why did he look so afraid though? I don't bite. Hahaha.

"Fine. Whatever. Laugh all you want, I'll just eat this carrot cake." He was pouting playfully and I took the plate from him.

"I changed my mind, dude." I said and took a forkful of cake and popped it into my mouth.

"Real mature, Erin. You gave it to me now you're taking it back. Real mature." He slumped on his seat and I could see the playfulness in his eyes so, I chuckled lightly.

"Fine. After this, I'll treat you to dinner." I said and he bobbed his head up and down like an excited kid.

After that, his order came and we chatted until I felt my stomach rumbles.

"Look, Alex, as much as I enjoyed your Australian trip stories, I would have to cut as I am already starving." I stood up and hung my Chanel quilted bag on my shoulder.

"Let's go." I pointed my head towards the door and walked towards it.

"You're treat, right?" I heard Alex asked while we're walking towards the newly opened Chinese restaurant.

"Yup."

After we ordered, Alex spoke again.

"Erin, eat everything you ordered, okay?" He joked but I could see it in his eyes that he's serious about what he said.

I smiled at him and rolled my eyes.

"Of course." I replied briefly and took my phone out to transfer all of my focus on it.

I was not dumb not to notice that he knew that something's going on with me. He was just looking for a way to address the huge elephant in the room and I've been dodging every questions he's asking me whenever we venture to a more serious topic.

It was more than enough for me that he coincidentally accompanied me today. He cheered me up effortlessly and made me forget the hurt I've been feeling for the past week.

His companionship made the food bearable to eat and most of all, he made me laugh heartily, and with that, I am so thankful for him.

By the time I asked for the bill, the waitress told me that Alex already paid for it. I looked at him and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You cheater. I said I'll treat you tonight!!!" I shook my head and pointed at him playfully.

"Not my fault if you believed that I agreed." He joked and that's when I remembered it again.

Me assuming everything. Was I really this gullible and assuming in everything? I was being hurt by myself because I am easily believed in the actions of people.

Then, I felt a hand held my right hand. I looked at it and Alex was holding mine, he has this smile on his face but his eyes still reflects seriousness in them. I was going to remove it when he gripped it tightly yet gently and spoke.

"Your hand is cold. Let's just get you home faster so you won't catch a cold."

His comment made me smile, since he joined me awhile ago, he's been taking care of me even though I hadn't told him what's wrong with me.

As we neared my apartment building, I stopped us at the entrance and faced him.

"Alex, thank you for today."

He took a deep breath and tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

"Erin, if there's anything bothering you or you need someone, I am always here for you." I could see the sincerity and genuine emotions in his eyes.

"Thank you, Alex." I kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly.

"Now, go inside. It's starting to get chilly out here."

"Yes, Dad." I scoffed.

"What did you---"

"See you later, Alexander." I interrupted him and he shook his head.

"See you later, Erin." He said and I turned around then walked towards the lift.

I sighed and smiled.

Alex, if only I could tell my heart to choose you, I would. I wouldn't be hurting like this if you're the one I love. If only I could teach my heart.

If only.

Hi loves,

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If so, please vote and comment.

Thank you.

xo,
kimmypatata