Author's POV: 

Taehyung would have to go through surgery next month if he wanted to survive but the chances were low. He didn't want to lose you. He wanted to live, to love, to enjoy. 

But seeing the hope in your eyes was making him anxious. What if he didn't make it? He would never want you to stop loving him but the way you looked at him with eyes full of love, your shy smile and rosy cheeks—everything made him realize how loved he was. And the concern in your eyes from the past times also roamed in his mind. Maybe, he had to do something for now. Something to make you love him a little less if that would help you hurt less. 

As you both stood in front of your house, you grinned at Taehyung, fixing the messy locks on his forehead. He didn't want time to pass by. He noticed the focused pout on your face and your wondering face as you fixed his locks, staring into his eyes afterwards. 
Gulping, you backed away and smiled at him. 
"You look good with your forehead exposed." You smiled. He nodded and looked down, smiling. 
"Y/N." He spoke. 
"Yes?" 

He took a deep breath, wondering how you'd react to his words. Was he doing the right thing for you? 
"Should we... break up for the time being?" He noticed how you stared at him blankly, tilting your head. You were processing his words. But to his surprise, you started chuckling.
"Is that a new prank? Come on, I'm not a fool." You frowned but he sighed, blinking away his tears. Should he play along? 
"I'm... Y/N... I'm serious." He said, swallowing the lump in his throat. You frowned, your face becoming serious. Your heart was thumping in your chest seeing his serious expression. The tears he was blinking away weren't unnoticed by you. But why was he saying that?

"Why though? What are you even saying?" You asked in a lower voice. 
"I... think I need some time alone... it's... not your fault at all, okay? I just... a few months? At least a month... I need time." He said. You looked at him and said, "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yeah... but besides that, I need time away from this... everything."
"You need time away? Then, it's okay! I won't bother you... if you're away and want to take a break. That's completely fine! I can wait. When you come back... maybe, when you're okay again... it'll be fine!" 

"I don't want you to wait. If I come back, we can... date again."
"We're not just dating, we're best friends! Are you going to break a literal friendship? What on earth-" You let out a gasp in disbelief. You frowned at him and asked, "Are you okay? Is something wrong? You can tell me." 
He shut his eyes, shaking his head. He would've told you something rude to chase you away but he couldn't. He couldn't bear to see your hurting face. 
"Just... 2 months... it's a long time. You wouldn't even... be able to keep up with those feelings anymore." He said. You looked down, wondering what he meant. You smiled a little through your tears and said, "Is it because you think I'm obsessed with you? I know I confessed to you that day but... it's not how you're thinking. It's... I mean... if you're uncomfortable, I'm sorry." 

He could feel his heart breaking with your words. It wasn't it. All he wanted to do was shoo you away. So, you'd at least move on from him. If he never returned, he could imagine your hurt. He knew you.

"No... it's just... I just don't want to date you anymore." He said. He didn't have to say that at all but also had to. He knew you wouldn't budge unless he hurt you. It pained him to see the blank look on your face.
"You don't mean it." You said. 
"I don't... I feel stuffed up... you know. I didn't know I'd feel this way but I do... I need time." 
You looked at him, feeling random emotions making a tornado inside of you. You took a deep breath and nodded, "Alright. If you... say so." 
"But I'm not mad at you, okay? If you're done doing whatever you are... and come back, we can be together again. I'll wait for you. I promise." You said.

He gulped, turning around as tears escaped his eyes. He walked away as you stood there, staring at his back.

You let him go. That easily. 

Just like that.

A sob escaped your lips, "I'm calling him tomorrow... it hurts so bad what the hell." You gasped, feeling the tight ache in your chest.

—At night

You stared at your art pieces and aggressively started drawing while tears fell from your eyes. You let out a wince, "Why the hell would he break up?" 
This was a sort of pain you had never felt before.

You were so mad at him. Your anger was rising up and so was the hurt. It felt like a thousand knives just stabbed into your heart. It felt physical at this point. 

You looked at your phone and gulped, not wanting to call Taehyung but your hands itched too. You felt yourself walking towards the phone and picking it up. But you couldn't call him. 
So, you kept it back and walked out of the room. 

Just to see your father give you a cold shoulder.

"I called your teacher last night. She couldn't even recognize you for the first 10 minutes. That's your success?" His voice rang in your ears as your steps halted. 
"What?" You asked. He sighed, rolling his eyes and continued, "I should've known. You're some non-existent nuisance in your institution, right?" 
You sighed and walked away, nodding. You had no energy to keep listening. It already hurt enough. 

Was it because of your words?

Maybe you shouldn't have said those words. But you were feeling so overwhelmed keeping it all to yourself. 

—A week later 

Taehyung looked in the mirror. He was in the hospital for surgery. It was made earlier than expected. But there was a huge risk.
Would he take that risk to live? 

He took a deep breath as Jungkook asked, "If Taewoo didn't snitch to us, we'd never know. That's it?" 
"I didn't want you all to cry for me all day."
"That's why you hide it? And break up? Are you an idiot? is this a soap opera?" Taehyung sighed at Jimin's shouting. 
"Stop shouting, man." He sighed.

Jimin gulped and looked down, "She must be crying right now either way. You know how much she loves you. It's so visible. You're the only one she laughs like that around... she's so changed now. Do you think she'll get over you that easily? You're delusional. She's stubborn and loyal. She won't. You know it all too well! Just tell her the truth." 
"Jimin. What if I don't make it?"
"Shut up!" Jimin had tears in his eyes as Taehyung looked down, "I... want to live. With you both, with mom and Taewoo... with her. But... I need her to be happy." 
"Taehyung. You will make it. But she'd be even more hurt if she knows you were hiding it." 
"Why are you acting as if you know everything about her..." Taehyung sighed as Jungkook replied, "Because we saw her crying." 

Taehyung frowned as Jungkook continued, "Mina asked us to come to the cafe that day. Y/N was crying so hard... she thought her words scared you and you were now isolating yourself." 
"I don't want to know anymore," Taehyung said, looking away. His heart hurt so bad hearing it all but he knew he wouldn't be able to control it anymore if he listened to anything more. 
"She thought you didn't love her. She said, 'Maybe his feelings aren't deep and I triggered him saying that. I can't even blame him but I feel so angry. It hurts...' I remember it too well because we all were so shocked." 

"Why are you-" Taehyung glared at Jungkook who looked at him sadly. 
"We all want to be there for you together." Jimin looked at him. 
"Taehyungah... if you're not sure about the end, don't do things that will make you regret it later." 

Taehyung took a deep breath and looked down.

The day passed by swiftly. He had tons of thoughts. He was worried about you. He felt so guilty and ashamed of himself for whatever he did. But he didn't want you to cry all day sitting beside him while he'd be staring at you. He'd feel like dying for real if that happened. 
Seeing his mother, Taewoo and his friends so vulnerable was enough pain for him.

He felt miserable and weak like he had no authority in his own life. 

Maybe he didn't. 

He stared outside the window, admiring the night sky when a thought appeared to him. He remembered your smile. 
For some reason, it made his heart feel lighter. He smiled a little and looked down, feeling himself become more alive just by the thoughts of you. 

He missed you so much. 

"If I die... I wouldn't see her again." He said in a soft voice as his fingertips touched the cold window glass. And as if something had clicked in him, all the words of his friends from earlier, his mother and Taewoo, all the tears and cries of pain and every single memory flashed in his eye. He let out the breath he had been holding and turned around. 
He couldn't lose you.

"Where are you going, sir?" A nurse asked as he was running out of the hospital, his hospital attire still on him. 
He ran to the road and gasped when a car went right past him. He almost died, again. 

He gulped and continued running to your house, not caring about anything else. 

What had happened all of a sudden? 

He was panting, maybe his head would start hurting soon. Maybe his nose would bleed and he'd faint. But he needed to tell you he loved you before any of that happened. 
That was the only thing he had left to do before death. Sometimes, it was hard to share things with others you felt because situations didn't support them. But maybe, all the other side needed to hear were those words we chose not to say. 
Hence, he decided he'd say it. His feelings. The truth. 

He was near your house and panted, holding his knees. 
From a far distance, he saw a figure walking out of the house, towards him. The head raised towards him and the figure halted.

Under the streetlights, it would be hard to confirm who the figure could be. But he knew who it was.

It was you.

His Y/N. 

You stared at him, squinting your eyes and walked a little closer, suspiciously. But a loud gasp escaped your lips as you saw him. He smiled at you, tears falling from his eyes.

He had a hospital shirt and pants, he was panting and looking like he'd faint anytime. 

You ran towards him, gasping, "Tae!" 
"Y/N." He said, smiling. You couldn't control your tears as you looked at him. You quickly held his cheeks, taking a closer look at his face. 
Tired eyes, dark circles... 

"What's wrong with you? Are you sick? Did you get hurt? Where did you get hurt? Why are you running here?" You were so worried, crying and checking him as he closed his eyes, feeling his heart hurt. 
"I love you." He said. You didn't say or do anything, just stood still. 
"I love you." He said again. You looked at him, blinking quietly. 
"I seriously love you so much. I'm so sorry." 

You swallowed the lump in your throat, tears continuing to fall from your eyes. Your heart was aching even more now. 

"What?" You asked. He hugged you tightly as you hugged him back, not being able to restrain yourself. 
"I... I wasn't afraid of your words. I was the happiest when I heard those. I love you too. I do... but it's just that... I might... I..." He was crying as you frowned, "Tae?" 
His hold on you tightened as he said, 

"I have a brain tumour... it happened genetically. I might not live long. I'm supposed to get surgery but if it fails..."