My alarm went off at 1. First class is at 4, that tends to be my average wake up time so I had to set an alarm.

Jenna had class at 11, so I sat alone in a dorm room. I wondered how he go herself up, she took a guy to our room last night. That was a very awkward thing to pretend to not exist while hearing that.

I got up slowly and walked to my mirror. I stared at myself for what seemed like a decade.

I hate myself

Why can't you be the cool, mysterious girl? One that boys want to figure out?Not some insecure, lame teenager.

I thought about Luke. After our "conversation" I left the party, and walked back the 11 miles. I didn't care. Nobody noticed either.

I don't need something like that. My brain is complicated enough, it doesn't need other people making it worse. I am paying to be here to learn how to be a forensic scientist or a criminal psychologist. Not to have friends. Or a boyfriend, as much as I've prayed for one.

I still had the colors in my hair, though a lot of them had come onto my pillow as well. I threw on a shirt that said in black letters "Meow" with a little cat face in the "O". I didn't feel like putting on pants yet, so I didn't. I turned on music and sat in bed on my cell phone.

I had a text from my mom, she first said good luck today, and that she trusts me to make good choices and that she loves me. Thats probably one of the things I like about my mom. When she actually tries a little. She's bipolar and blunt. But also brutally honest, which I appreciate. I texted her back a thank you.

I also had a few new twitter and instagram followers. All kids that I met yesterday and the day before. Jordan and Sabina from moving day, Janin and Amber next door, Lillie from last night, Calum and Michael, !!!aShToN!!, and the boy from last night, Nick was his name.

Ive never gained so many so quickly. My only notification was a DM from Nick, he asked where I had gone. I asked how he got my twitter.

I couldn't help but notice that Luke didn't do any of that. Did he hate me? He hated me. I don't care. I don't. It's not the first time. I don't like him at all either. Self-absorbed and rude.

But not wrong.

Suddenly my phone started buzzing,

"Hello?"

"Hey Auty!" Izzy chirped, "Me and Jordan were going to go to the diner down the street, Sabina works there, and were wondering if you'd like to come?" She asked,

"Oh! That'd be great!" I said, "Just going to have to put some clothes on first. Meet you in the common room?"

"Sure! Meet you there in like a half hour?"

"Sounds good. See ya!"

~~

Because its fall, I threw on black ripped skinny jeans, put a black beanie on, rolled up my sleeves a bit, grabbed my glasses, converse, and watch, made my eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man, and was on my way.

We walked up to this old diner, Sabina in her almighty beauty said it had been around since 1957, and that it felt like thats how long her shifts are.

We were sat in a small booth, me facing the door. Suddenly a group of 4 tall boys waltzed through the door and were seated in the booth behind us.

I tried to hide behind my menu, I thought it had worked, until Jenna and Janin walked in behind them.

"Is that Autumn?" Janin pulled my menu out of my hands, I faked my smile, the girls were truly nice. Heck they were basically my roommates. But I can't handle the guys.

"Hey Autumn!" Michael patted my head as they sat in the larger booth behind us. I notice Calum tried to keep his eyes down as he walked past,

"Hi Calum.." Jordan said shyly, he waved from his jacket pockets and kept walking to sit down,

Strange.

Janin and Jenna both said their hellos before sitting with the boys.

Well this was weird. The group I wish I could be in behind me, and the kindest group around me.

Sabina came around to take our orders, I got chicken tenders and french fries. My doctor would be proud that I'm eating. I won't eat the entire thing, I won't be able to stop thinking of how much fat, calories, sodium, and carbs are actually in it.

"How can I help you?" I overheard Sabina ask the guys, sweetly,

They started ordering enormous amounts of food. You could tell by the way they were trying to be extremely confident they tried to show off, except Michael. He was stuttering, which was weird. I couldn't tell if it was the food or Sabina.

After she left, they tried whispering but I didnt have to try too hard to hear them.

"What do you think about, Autumn, guys?" Jenna asked,

"Do you really think she fits with us?" Luke asked,

"Look at Ashton, does he?" Janin spat,

"No, but, Ashton's cool. Ashton's outgoing and has a sense of humor and shit." Luke said,

"Glad I fit your requirements." Ashton mumbled,

"Autumn are you even listening?" Jordan shoved me,

Shoot I'm at this table.

"Sorry, sorry I was in my own world." I lied,

"I asked what your major was, again?"

"Forensic Science with a minor in Psychology." I told her, it sounds so professional ew.

"Oh wow! Thats impressive." She smiled, "Are you nervous for your first class?"

"I guess so. I mean not that much, I've never been good at making friends so I'm just praying on the professor is good." I said,

"Well you made friends with us! And I think you're great." Izzy said,

"You have to say that! You're my family!" I smiled,

"Oh, looks like I have food just as hot as the girls at this table!" Sabina showed up with our food, she sat mine in front of me, and my brain looked at it with disgust. But my stomach looked at it like it was the best food its ever seen.

We all laughed, "Thanks, Sabina."

We began eating our food. I only got 1 chicken tender and maybe 7 or 8 fries before my brain started to go full crazy with the fat and calorie and carb count. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom.

I walked myself through the double doors to the small room with the doors to the ladies and gentleman's rooms.

I leaned against the wall, my hands on my knees.

Only fat asses eat shit like that

Why don't you eat it anyway, you're just a fat ass

Fat sack of skin. You're useless anyway.

Eating shit like that is why people hate you.

You're just an ugly fat bitch, just like what everyone says about you

I started to cry. I pushed against the wall. My thoughts were so loud I didn't even hear the door swing open, he didn't say anything until after I punched the wall.

I just wanted to go home. Nobody wanted me here. Its my first day and I can't do it. Im not ready. I didn't listen to what he said pushed through him and left behind his beautiful blond head of hair. I don't care for what he has to say to me.

"Sabina, sorry I need to head to my next class. Will this cover my meal?" I handed her $10,

"Yeah, yeah. Are you alright? Did someone say something to? Was it the boys in the booth behind you? They're known for that kind of thing."

"No.. No. Im fine. Or I will be. Just nervous I think and my brains going crazy, you know? But thanks." She hugged me,

"You ever need anything come here, okay? I work basically every day from 9:00-3:00. Odds are I'm here." She whispered into my hair,

"Thank you." And on that note, I began walking to my first class that doesn't start for another hour and a half.