Feature of Midgard: when you eat in the virtual world, your real body actually receives nutrients. Not enough to last months, but you could probably stay in the game for one to two weeks no problem.

Don't ask how they manage to do it. I don't know, and I don't think I want to, lest I spoil my appetite. 

Akemi gulps a spoonful of seafood chowder with almost shameless indifference to my internal struggle. I sip my fizzed cider and grasp desperately for an interesting conversation topic. The only way I'm not excessively sweating is through sheer willpower. Okay, too much information.

The frequent glances in our direction, the giggling and staring, the whispered words, none of it helped. Every talking person in the inn, I'm sure they're about me, talking about what a screw-up I am.

Whenever I try to make conversation with someone, anyone really, I always get tongue-tied. Aaron is the only exception because he usually starts the conversations himself, he's smart that way. But in this situation, I feel like I, the guy, have a responsibility to keep the girl interested, even though this isn't a date. Whatever.

Akemi's voice once again snaps me out of my mental hysteria. "So. How long have you been playing this game for?"

Total mental reset, she started the conversation. Ok, don't mess up, now. Start by smiling "Um... three years or so." I answer with the look of someone who just got kicked in the nuts. "I bought it myself and managed to get the VR headset too, but I'm kind of almost broke, now."

"You could ask for help from your parents, right?" She eats another spoonful. Her appetite is pretty damn formidable. 

I shake my head. "No, they're dead." 

"Really?" She pauses, her spoon halfway to her mouth.

"Yeah." I wave my hand in a dismissal . "They were in the midst of a bank robbery. You know how it goes"

She doesn't say anything, just looks at me curiously.

I think I wanted to stop there, but the words kept coming on and on. "I was there. The robbers came in, shot some guns, everyone went down, my dad was an employee, he was too slow packing their bags or something, they did him in, I didn't see how."

Akemi's brow creases. I want to stop, but now that I've told her about my dad, it would be weird not to tell her about my mom, right?

"My mom, she was a lawyer, went there pretty often, I think that's how she met him. Anyway, she went kind of hysterical. I didn't see what happened, but there was a scuffle and finally, a lot of shooting. She was shot about five times, apparently, mostly here." I point to the spot where my heart seems to have stopped beating. "By the time the police and ambulance arrived, it was way too late." I finish.

This probably isn't the best subject to talk about when you're around a dinner table, but when I start the story, I can't stop for whatever reason.

Akemi looks at me with an expression I've never seen before on her face. "You talk about it so casually."

Probably because that's not all there is to it, lady, I think inwardly.

When I told Aaron, his reaction was: "That must've been painful. Man, I'm really sorry." Akemi though, she looks actually sympathetic, as if she knows something.

Then, she breaks the whole thing down to three words: "I'm so sorry."

I shrug. "When things like this happen, you immediately think; This is only the type of thing that happens to other people! But when you think about it, you're always other people to someone else, if that makes sense."

Akemi nods. "I completely understand."

"Do you?" I frown at her, maybe more furiously than I intended, because her face takes on a defensive look. I lighten my gaze and she continues on cautiously.

"Yes, my parents weren't rich or famous. My dad was in the army. My mom did odd-jobs. You can probably guess how my dad died. My mom was too desperate, she was plunged deep in debt, she had no money, she was about to get kicked out of her apartment, she'd already lost the car, plus, dad was gone. She tried to hang in there for me, but eventually, it was too much. She went to the top of our apartment, and I never saw her again. I was ten, at the time." She stays silent after that.

I watch her speechlessly. There really was someone else in this world like me? Someone who has lost it all? Done the big loop? 

Of course there was, like I'd said before, we're all someone else to another person. I ought to enact what I preach.

Okay, what do I do in this situation? I wish Aaron were in my place, he'd know what to do, probably. Actually, I really wish it were anybody but me.

We stare into each others eyes, a kind of force attracting them like magnets, as if just noticing something about each other we hadn't noticed before.  

Do not hyperventilate, do not hyperventilate, do not hyperventilate, do not hyperventilate.

I decide to break the silence, "I... I'm really sorry about them."

She sighs, as if she was expecting something else from me. "It's okay, I didn't really know my dad all that much, and my mom was always working. My whole life, I've pretty much been taking care of myself."

I can't completely relate up to this point. Akemi never had somebody to lean on? To offer support or kindness? No love?

No... she had love, her mother had hung on for her. Her mother had loved her. But she'd never really gotten to know her. Is it possible to love someone you don't know very well?

"Hide..."

I'm surprised. Not because she woke me from my stupor again, that's happening a lot lately, but because she used my name. I can't remember the last time a girl called me by my name. Actually, come to think of it, I can. When the teacher called my name in school to answer a question I didn't know the answer to.

I look at her. She seems to be having a kind of silent internal struggle with herself.

"Do you want to friend me?" She says finally, not tripping over a single word. The two of us must live in adjacent worlds.

I'm so shocked, I trip, while sitting down, and somehow fall out of my chair, making an absolute fool of myself. Several people turn to stare at me. I hear a ripple of laughter traverse the inn.

My face is burning as I resurface, "What? Friend you? Um... but we only met, like, just now! I don't know you too well and, like you said, I almost killed you back - back there! I don't know if, um..." I stammer into silence and stupidity (why did I speak so loudly?).

Akemi is still staring at me, but the look in her eyes has changed; resigned, and slightly mortified. 

"Okay, I just wanted to, you know..." She shakes her head and gets up, "Thanks for the food, you weren't a bad guy."

I watch idiotically as she walks out the front door.

"Oh... ah! W... wait!" I get up, bumbling and stumbling, impeded by the NPC, who insists on making me pay the check first. I dash out the door, laughter and hooting following in my wake.

I scan the streets and spot her walking down the road to my right. She no longer walks with her confident gait. Just by her walking, she seems like a completely different person. Hunched, sad and defeated.

I run after her, occasionally tripping over my feet and, generally, looking very, very stupid. "Wait! No! I mean... sure! I'd like to friend you!"

She turns, surprise and

(dare I assume?)

relief painted all over her face.

"Yeah!" I pant, catching up to her, "I... want to be your... friend!"

Normally, you wouldn't be able to hang me upside down and shake those words out of me. I'm a solo player. A SOLO. And yet, here I am; friending a quasi-stranger. The world seems to pound along with my heart. It's a funny feeling, asking someone to be your friend. It feels like a bunch of butterflies decide to tango in your stomach, la-chi-cha-chi cha CHA. But I'm not dancing. Why am I even asking her? Do I feel bad for her? What makes her so different?

Maybe it's because she's not that much of a stranger, like you've known a part of her no one else has, A voice in my head says.

Ew, that sounds weird. Shut up, voice.

She smiles widely this time, my heart does another row of magnificent and unnecessary gymnastics. "You know how to, I take it?"

Relief floods me from the tip of my toes to the top of my dumbass haircut. The butterflies abandon the tango and start into a violent bout of moshing. My stomach would probably give out if I were in the real world.

"Yeah, don't you?" I ask, dropping my card after pulling it out.

She pulls out her own with fumbling fingers but doesn't drop it. How?

With slightly jumpy hands, the two of us tap the pieces of plastic together and say, "Amicus," simultaneously.

A flash of light sparks between us, and that's that, the ritual to make a friend. The moment seems to suspend and I wait for something to go wrong. Our cards are defective. The flash causes an explosion. A horde of orangutans fall from the sky, steal my pants, and disappear. None of that happens, thank god.

Such a brief moment and I feel my whole world spin as I bring up my inventory menu and see Akemi's name right above Aaron. Just seeing it there makes the butterflies act up again.

I glance over to the warrior's friend list and see that I'm the only one there.

She notices me staring and whips the screen away. "Hey! That's an invasion of privacy!"

I turn my head away hastily, cursing my stupidity, "Sorry!"

She sighs and puts away her map, "What does that do, then?"

"Well, we'll always be able to see where we are on the map." This is one of the reasons I'm hesitant about making friends with anyone, your privacy is kind of limited. I trust Aaron, because he's helped me wriggle my way out of some pretty tight situations. Besides, he's a merchant, one of the less dangerous roles. Akemi is a warrior though, her role is essentially combat. You might understand why I wasn't too enthusiastic to friend her at first.

"By the way, I don't know this place too well, could you point me in the direction of a good place to stay?" She asks.

"The inn we were just at rents out a few rooms."

"Hm... you're not flat broke though, right?"

"No. Wait, I don't owe you anything anymore, right? Why should I pay you a room?"

She smiles maliciously, "You've already payed for one thing, might as well pay for another."

"What? That's unfair! Unfriend me right now!" I exclaim.

She rolls her eyes, smiling. "I'm just kidding, I'll pay for it."

"It's weird," I say.

"What is?"

"Usually, around others, I don't talk well. Really I don't get along well with anybody. But you, I can talk with just fine."

She grins. "Maybe it's a gift."

I don't know why I say this part: "By the way, off subject. As I peeked... uh... saw your friend list, I was the only one there. Is that why you weren't sure of what to do? Because you don't have any friends?"

She sighs.

"What?" I demand.

"You're right, you really need to work on you talking skills."

"Oh? Why don't you teach me then, since you know so much."

We walk back towards the inn. When we enter, everyone seems unusually quiet. We walk over to the rooms and I make up my mind.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Do... uh... do you... um... y'know"

"What is it?" She asks, looking puzzled.

"Wanagosomwetomowo?"

She tilts her head, smiling hesitantly. "Sorry, what?"

I gulp. "Do you want to meet somewhere tomorrow flgh?."

If you were wondering, that flgh is the sound an idiot makes when biting his tongue because the world hates him.

There's a silence. A tense one. I clench my fists. How could I have been so stupid as to ask that of a girl I just met a few hours ago?

"Sure!" She answers. "Okay."

My eyes widen and I almost have a double take.

Okay, after this you're supposed to plan where and when you'll meet. Don't bite your tongue, Hide. "Um... great! How about, at... um... one p.m., outside the inn."

"I don't know, I think two p.m. is better."

"Sounds... good to me. See you... tomorrow then?"

"Yep! See you tomorrow Hide-ku... I mean... Hide!"

Did she just try to say Hide-kun? So she might be Japanese too? Man, and I had tried so hard not to use honorifics, they just confuse non-japanese people these days.

I watch as she walks off to her room and shuts the door behind her. A second passes in silence as I look around and realize I'm surrounded by every person in the inn, each of them wearing a huge grin. We hear a small whoosh that means she's logged out. The silence is so tense, you could slice it with your pinky finger. Then, the inn explodes in cheers.

That night, lying on a non-virtual bed, I have an intense battle with my stomach that won't stop fluttering, and my consciousness, that won't stop singing.