Tonight was the night. I was going to do it. I was finally going to tell Audrey how I felt about her.

I took a deep breath and checked my costume one last time in the mirror. A blackout bodysuit with some bones printed on it and a spooky skeleton mask. Simple, but classic, and perfect for what I had planned tonight.

A loud knock at the door interrupted these thoughts though. I headed downstairs and opened it up to find Ryan dressed in a crappy Dracula costume. He took one look at me and rolled his eyes.

"Psshh, a skeleton? How original."

"Please, you're the last person I'm going to take shit from on that, Count Dick-ula."

"Hey, unlike you, I'm trying to appeal to the ladies," he explained, gesturing to his costume. "Give them that hot, Halloween vampire romance I know they're dying for."

"You forgot the glitter then."

He punched my arm. Hard enough to hurt, but, honestly, for Ryan, it was a pretty light punch. And I didn't like it. It felt like sympathy.

He nodded vaguely in the direction of his car. I followed him to it and hopped in the passenger side. The party wasn't too far, just on the outskirts of town. Too far to walk, but maybe only ten minutes or so by car.

Apparently, that was still too long though. We'd barely even left my street when Ryan suddenly turned off the radio. And I already knew exactly what he was going to say.

"Hey, man... are you sure you want to go to this thing?" He asked. "We can just bail. It's not like they're expecting us or anything. We can just chill at my place instead. You know, marathon Saw or something."

"Nah, I've been looking forward to this," I insisted, hoping to change the subject. "Kirk always throws the craziest parties. Halloween especially. Beats microwaved pizza rolls at your place any day."

I was hoping the snide remark would make him fire back with one of his own. But it didn't. Quite uncharacteristically for Ryan, he actually stayed serious. Unfortunately.

"You don't have to force yourself, man. Honestly, Kirk's kind of a dick for inviting you to this thing in the first place. I mean, he knew better than anyone how you felt about Audrey, and he still-"

"Dude, just drop it," I said flatly. "It's fine. I'm over her. It's whatever. Life moves on."

"Alright, man. If you're sure."

We spent the rest of the drive in an awkward silence. I felt kind of bad being a dick to Ryan. After all, he was only trying to look out for me. But I didn't want his pity. Besides, Kirk didn't matter tonight. None of the others mattered. I was going to talk to Audrey, not them.

The party was already in full swing by the time we arrived. Clusters of unidentifiable people in an assortment of costumes were spread around drinking, laughing, and all around making idiots of themselves. But hey, what else is Halloween for at this age?

Ryan pulled the car over to the side of the lawn where some other people had already parked. He let out a long whistle as he looked at the scene. 

"Damn, I will say, Kirk definitely picked a hell of a place to have a Halloween party."

"I guess if you like B-list horror movies," I said, rolling my eyes. "Old, abandoned house next to a cemetery? All he's missing is the Satanic cult making a human sacrifice in the basement."

"Hey! That's not fair. You haven't even seen the basement yet," he laughed, jumping out of the car. "Come on, let's get hammered."

I followed behind him dutifully, but all I could think about was talking to Audrey. I ran through the plan one last time. I had to time things just right if I was going to talk to her without Ryan or Kirk catching on.

Apparently, I didn't have to worry about initiating phase one myself though. It stumbled right over to us the second we walked through the door.

"Ryaaaan! Stevieeee! Where you guys been?" Kirk shouted, throwing his arms over our shoulders.

It was clear that he was already a little drunk, he was leaning on us pretty heavily. Good. Another hour or so and he wouldn't even remember my name, let alone that I came to the party. It would be easy to sneak away from him like this.

Ryan, however, was another story. Just based on how he'd been treating me tonight, I could already tell I'd have trouble getting away from him for any length of time. I know he was trying to be a "supportive friend" there to comfort my "broken heart," but that really wasn't what I wanted tonight. I just wanted to talk to Audrey. Alone. And I needed a surefire way to make it happen. 

Which is where Kirk came in. The lovable, predictable douchebag. I knew exactly what to say to keep him and Ryan occupied for the next hour or so.

"Well, we're here now, man." I threw my arm around him, squeezing his shoulder. "So, let's get wasted! Where are the shots at?"

"Ayyoooo! Stevie's ready to goooo!" He shouted, leading us down the hall.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ryan giving me a disapproving glance, but I pretended not to see him. 

Instead, I followed Kirk as he led us to the kitchen. Several people were already in there, exchanging bottles and mixing drinks. Kirk grabbed the nearest one off the counter and sloppily poured out three shots. He handed one to each of his before raising his up high.

"Hey, hey. Shhhh," he shushed us. Unnecessarily, since neither of us was even talking. "Hey, a toast. Here's to getting fucked up. And, if you're lucky, fucked. Cheers!"

He slammed his shot so quickly that I barely saw him do it. Not that it mattered, he turned around to pour himself another just as quickly. 

Ryan rolled his eyes, but took his shot anyway. Which gave me the perfect excuse to trash mine. I quickly dumped it into a nearby bucket. Considering that it was already half-full of alcohol-laced vomit, I doubt anybody would notice even if they were crazy enough to look. 

I knew there was no way I'd be able to dodge every shot he poured me, but I still wanted to limit them as much as possible. I wanted to be as sober as possible when I talked to Audrey later.

Luckily, in true Kirk fashion, the drunker he got, to more "generous" he got with his pours. Three shots in and he started going from single shots to doubles. I had a couple, but nowhere near as much as him or Ryan. And, a few shots later, my brilliant plan finally came together. 

Ryan downed his shot, like usual, but before he had the chance to snag the bottle again, a strange look came over his face. He went a little pale, swaying unsteadily on his feet. 

"Uh-oh."

That was all he could mumble out before he started gagging. Ryan's eyes went wide as he quickly turned away from him.

"No, no, no, no! Come on, man. Take that shit outside," he almost begged. "You know I can't listen to people hurl!"

But it was too late. Kirk dropped to his knees and crawled over to the bucket on the floor before emptying his guts into it. Not two seconds later, Ryan dropped his glass and ran out, covering his mouth.

Perfect. Kirk would be puking on and off for the next twenty minutes or so, and even then, he was unlikely to get up again for a while. Ryan had most likely run to look for a bathroom. Even if he didn't puke, I was guaranteed at least fifteen minutes of him trying to stop himself from gagging. Which was all the time I needed to talk to Audrey.

I slipped out of the kitchen and through the back door. A few people were scattered around outside but no one that I had to worry about. All I had to do was find Audrey. And I knew exactly where she was.

I made my way towards the cemetery. The few shots I did have to take made me a little off balance, but my head was clear enough to tell where I was going. I carefully stepped over some of the smaller gravestones, making my way deeper and deeper into the cemetery. 

And there she was. Honey-colored hair that flowed down her back and a radiant smile that almost seemed to glow in the moonlight. I made my way over and sat down next to her, clearing my throat.

"Hey, Audrey. Long time to see," I started awkwardly. "Umm... I'm sorry. I know I haven't been around much. I just... wasn't sure what to say to you after what happened. I guess I still don't, honestly, but... I guess there's no point holding it back anymore either.

I love you, Audrey. I've always loved you. 

I love... how brilliant you are. The way you're always trying your hardest in everything that you do. School, your writing, even when you're just trying to beat me at Mario Kart. I love how you never give up.  

I love how your face lights up whenever you pass a bookstore. I love listening to you for hours while you tell me about whatever you've been reading. I love the way you talk too fast when you get excited, the way you laugh, your voice. 

I love your long hair, I love your blue eyes, I love your dorky glasses. And I love your smile... and the way you look at me when you have it. I love everything about you, Audrey. I always have and I always will. Forever..."

I had to stop as the growing lump in my throat finally choked off my words. I reached out and gently brushed my fingers against her picture. The light of her smile now forever trapped in the middle of a cold, dark headstone.

"I just... wish I could have told you that while you were still alive," I barely managed to whisper.

It wasn't long after that that I heard the faint crunching of leaves as somebody approached. I listened as they grew closer and closer, stopping when they were behind me. A hand reached out and squeezed my shoulder. I didn't even need to look to know who it was.

"So... you finally talked to her?" Ryan asked. I nodded silently. "Good. I'm glad."

We stayed there for another second, neither of us saying a thing. After a moment he patted my shoulder, clearing his throat.

"Alright. It's official. This party blows. You were right, there isn't even a cult in the basement or anything. Come on," he said, shoving my head gently, "microwaved pizza rolls and a Saw marathon at my place."

I let out a small laugh and nodded, standing. Ryan smiled sympathetically, throwing his arm over my shoulder as he led me back to the house. As we walked away, I stole one last glance of Audrey. Her smile still glowing like moonlight in the darkness. 

The pain wouldn't fade in a night. Or a week. Or even a month I'm sure. And even long after the pain had passed, I'd probably still hold some shard of regret buried deep in my heart. 

But not tonight. Tonight, I had no regrets. Because tonight, I finally told Audrey how I felt.