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"Nina your dad" 

Only listening to those words spared a very bad feeling through my whole body.  

"What happens to him," I asked him in my inpatient's voice as my eyes closed more in worry. What happened to him? He was all good but a little sad when I told him to leave. What happens to him suddenly? All the bad thoughts came running to my brain, making the situation even worse. I was already feeling guilty for not talking to him properly and asking him to go away and now my guild and worry have reached the sky. God, please let him be good. I was still looking at Jack with my worried and tear-filled eyes. His face was twitched; he was fighting to say the next words as his light brown eyes moved all over my face. 

"Nina stop panicking," he said in his soft voice trying to come near me to comfort me but I ain't letting him touch me. 

"Don't come near me. Just tell me if he is ok" I said in my voice which was a mixture of worry and anger as I stopped him from showing him my hand stopping him from coming near me. I don't want to be in his arms or else I will lose myself again. His jaw clenched as he had my words, his eyes were glued to my hand which was keeping a safe distance between us. His jaw twitched and his face hardened saying he was controlling his eyes moved slowly from my hand to my face. 

"Take a seat I will tell you everything," he said with the same hard look on his face. 

"No, just tell me what's wrong. Why is he in the hospital?" I said in outrage as I refused to see or do anything else before knowing what's wrong with dad. He sighs in dismay as he knows I won't listen to him.  

"Your dad is in the hospital. He suffered from a heart attack," he said with the same hard look on his face. He tried to maintain his hard face while telling me my dad's condition but that look vanished in a split second as he saw my eyes widening and my legs buckling hearing his words. The ground beneath my feet slipped just as I heard his words. They were enough for crumbling the last hope of my thought process of him being well. My legs felt too weak to carry my weight. 

"Nina" Jack called my name loudly as he saw me losing my composure. He circled his hands around me and pulled me towards his hard chest as I sobbed hard. I sobbed very loudly as all the conversation from the morning came running to my mind. My tears didn't stop as I kept remembering all the times I behaved badly with him. He made me sit on the bed and I was deeply drawn in by my miseries. Now I was hiccuping loudly. 

"Drink some water," Jack said as he poured some water in a glass and pressed it to my cracked lips while moving my hair which was wet from tears away from my face. 

"No. I don't want to drink anything. I want to go and see dad" I said, still hiccuping and sobbing as I pushed the glass away from my face, spilling some water on the floor, and stood up ready to leave. I moved him away from me and started walking towards the door with weak legs taking hold of the wall. My legs buckled but I took hold of the wall to balance my body as I got another hand on my small bump protecting it from all unknown danger. 

"Nian" Jack again called my name in worry as he took hold of my body with his big hand on my small baby bump in a protective manner. 

"Come I will take you to the hospital," he said in his soft voice as he saw the state I was in. 

"No---no I don't need anyone's help. I will go on my own to see my dad" I said as I moved my head in denial as more tears slipped from my eyes and blurred my vision. 

"Nina stopped panicking and stopped acting impulsively. You are just not putting your life in danger but my child's too," he said in anger as I refuse to go with or take his help even slightly. My tears blurred even more as I heard his angry voice making me cry even more and hiccups at the same time. 

"Stop being stubborn for one and let me help just for once," he said in his soft voice as he saw me crying my heart out. I had no chance he wouldn't let me go on my own and I was not even in the state of going on my own for my child's safety. I got ready to go to him. I nodded my head very slightly, lost in the worried thoughts of my dad. Instead of supporting my body to walk, he lifted me in his arms in bridal style making me look at him with wide eyes in horror. I was about to argue with him to let him down but he passed me a look saying not to argue. I kept my mouth shut as I don't feel like arguing because I don't have any energy left in me and my legs felt weak too. In silence, he walked towards his car with me in his arms. He carefully placed me in the passenger seat and put a seat belt on me before going to his seat. 

I just kept silent as I kept looking at him with my tear-filled eyes. He checked double-time if my seat belt was buckled properly. When he was sure it was he moved his hand from the belt to my bump caressing it. I could see on his face he was yearning to do that and I felt more guilty. He lifted his light brown eyes to look at me. I just averted my eyes away from him before they could meet mine. I closed them tightly and rested my head on the seat. I heard him sigh as he saw me not wanting to look at him anymore. I closed the door and walked towards his seat to drive the car. I just kept my eyes closed until I felt the vehicle we were sitting in moving. Once it was in the momentum I looked out of the window. We both kept silent as I didn't want to exchange any kind of words with him. Only my low sobs could be heard in the silent car with him occasionally looking at me. 

Is dad ok? What if all my words from the morning are the cause of his heart attack. If something happens to him how will I be able to live my life? Why is everything happening to me? I only wish and pray for the well-being of all the people I love while I stay away from them but even God didn't want to listen to my prayers. 

I don't know why I even trusted God. He has not been listening to my prayers for so long but I still decide to put some faith in him as I found myself very lonely. But my faith was shattered. I don't know why I even expect something from him. Living and breathing people broke my trust and was expecting something from the force once I never even saw it. I don't even know if God still exists. I decided to put faith in him. I know why I put my last hope in him just because of my sister. I still remember when she explained it to me. 

Once when I asked her "Amelia where our mom is" in my curious voice. She stopped doing her homework as she looked at me with her big Haze wide eyes. I absentmindedly kept playing with my doll's hair. 

"Why did someone say something to you," she asked in her worried voice while keeping the pencil aside as I have never asked her about our mom before. 

"No, but I see every day all the mom's coming to pick up their child from school but our mom never came, only our dad came to pick us," I asked the question which I have been a thing for so many days. I wanted to ask daddy but I know he gets sad when we talk about mom. So I decided to ask Amelia because she has answers to everything. "Where is our mom? Has she gone far away? When will she come back?" I asked in my curious voice as she just kept looking at me. She stood up from her study chair and walked towards me with a slit smile on my face. 

"Our mom she is with God," she said as she took my one hand in her as with the other hand I was holding my doll.  

"And where is God," I asked in my still curious voice as her words sparked the cracker of curiosity in me.  

"He is with our mom," she said with a smile on her face as she saw my curiosity increasing with each answer. 

"So can we go and meet them? Pretty  Please I will not tell dad about it. I know he gets sad when we ask about mom" I pleaded because I was so eager to meet my mom and God too. I wanted to see how she looks in person. Everyone told me I look like her so I wanted to confirm it with my own eyes. I want to talk about so many things with her. 

"We can go to meet them. They are so far away from us and you know dad gets sad when we go far from him" Amelia tried to make me understand in her soft voice as she saw eagerness and excitement in my eyes to meet them. My face became sad as all the hint of excitement and eagerness was gone from my face. Even though I want to meet them so badly I can't make dad sad. He will get sadder if I go away from him too. I nodded my head in yes with my head held low. 

"You know what" Amelia did in her little excited voice as she put her hands under my chin to make me look into her eyes. 

"What," I said in a little unhappy voice as I looked back in her Hazel eyes. 

"You can still meet them," she said in the same voice while sparking my curiosity again.

"How to tell me fast so we can meet them soon," I said in the same eager voice and she moved her head in amusement. 

"First you close your eyes if you want to see them," she said in her happy voice. 

"Silly how would I be able to see them if you close my eyes," I said while laughing at my sister. 

"You will be able to see them. If you want to meet them then close your eyes first" she said while closing my eyes with hers. 

I closed them and then she moved my same hand and kept it on my chest where my head was beating. 

"Amelia I still can't see them," I said as I could only see darkness with my closed eyes. 

"Be quiet and concentrate on your heartbeat, you will be able to see them," she said and like that, I listened to her words and concentrated on my heartbeat.  In a few seconds, I saw my mom's smiling face appearing in front of my closed eyes, making me all excited. 

"I can see her! I can see her!" I squealed in happiness while still, my eyes were closed tightly as I didn't want her face to go away. I heard my sister smiling in happiness. 

"Now whenever you want to see mom you can meet her like this," she said as I was still looking at my mom's face and comparing my face with her. The face which appeared in front of my eyes was dame as I saw in photos but it made me happy that I could see her anytime I want. 

"But Amelia, where is God, I can only see mom," I said in my confused voice with a small frown forming on my closed eyes. 

"He is standing beside mom" she answered my question as soon as she heard it. 

"But I can't see him beside mom," I asked in the same confused voice. 

"We can't see him but know that he is always there whenever we need him. He is with mom helping us every time we need him. Remember that he is present here and watching us never lose your faith in him because he finds one or another way to help us. We just need to wait with little patience" she said as she pressed her lightly on my hand which was on my heart. A lone tear slipped from my eyes and my eyes opened as I felt the car stopping and taking me out of the land of memories. 

"We are here" Jack informed as the car halted at the entrance. I nodded slightly with a heavy heart as one more long tear slipped from the corner of my eyes. 

We took the elevator and then my heart sank more as we reached the fool where the ICU was written in bold. Jack supported my weak body as we walked. Every step I took felt so heavy. I saw with my blurred vision uncle Richard supporting a small frame of aunty Sam as she was crying. As soon as she saw me she came running to me and hugged me making me sob harder. Slowly, uncle Richard parted her body away from me. Still sobbing, I walked towards the door of the room where dad was. I stood in front of the door with Jack's support and kept hearing at the door as I had no courage to open it. I slowly moved my hand on my chest and closed my eyes.  

Good even if you didn't listen to my prayers when I asked you to save Amelia. Please listen to me this time.

For once listen to me. 

______________________________________

A/N
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