Chapter 31

"I had enough of this cat and mouse game you're playing unilaterally, Shanelle," diretsong sabi ko sa kanya nang dumating siya sa opisina ko. I sent her an email demanding her presence here. I didn't have the nerve to ask Samuel tungkol sa kaso—kung na-file na ba 'yon, kung sino ang abogado niya, kung ano na ba iyong status. But I didn't want to come unprepared. Ngayon pa lang ay gusto ko nang simulan. Pero kung hindi siya tutulong, ano bang choice ang meron ako? I'd rather work triple time para sa ibang kaso kaysa dito na para akong tanga na hindi alam ang gagawin.

"Can I?" she asked as she showered me a box of cigarette. So, she smokes... Who would've thought?

Umiling ako. "My office is a non-smoking area," I told her. Ayokong pumunta sa korte na amoy usok ng sigarilyo iyong mga dokumento ko.

"Too bad," sabi niya na bahagyang natawa. "I can really use a stick right now."

"Bakit? Stressed ka?"

"Very."

"Well, imagine my stress, Shanelle. You hired my service yet hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto mong mangyari. Gusto mo bang magmukha tayong tangang dalawa dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang nilalaban natin?"

"I thought I'd been clear."

"You want the annulment dismissed," sagot ko sa kanya.

"Yes."

"But you two are legally separated."

Bahagya siyang natawa. "I keep on forgetting that Samuel told you about that..." sabi niya habang naka-tingin sa mga mata ko. "My assistant said that you went to my office the other day?"

Umayos ako ng upo. "Yes."

Bakit ba ako nagulat? Halos parang mga bata kaming naghahabulan doon. Parang tanga. Bakit kasi ako hinahabol. Kung kailan ako tumatakbo, at saka ako hinabol. Kahit na taon naman na nanatili lang ako sa kinatatayuan ko.

"Naka-usap mo si Samuel?" she asked. I remained silent and instead, just stared at her. "Oh, come on. Tell me. Ikaw na rin ang may sabi na legally separated na kami."

"Care to tell me why?"

She shrugged as she crossed her legs. "Just one day, he came to me and said that he wanted out."

"Really?" I asked because that didn't sound like Samuel. Kasi kahit nung kami iyong naghiwalay, he's been very fucking clear why—painfully fucking honest, even. I just couldn't believe that he'd just want out without giving so much as an explanation.

But maybe I should stop comparing notes—iba iyong relasyon namin noon sa kasal nila.

"Yes, why? Is that unbelievable?"

"No, not really," I told her. "But you're still hiding things from me."

Bahagyang natawa siya. "I really need to smoke, Atty. If you're going to ask such questions, I need to finish maybe a pack."

Napailing na lang ako habang tumatayo. Sinundan niya ako hanggang makarating kami sa dulo ng hallway. Mayroon doong fire exit. Binuksan ko iyong pinto at doon kami naka-tayong dalawa. She was taller than me. She was built like a model. I'd admit that she's a very attractive person... minus all the lying and being secretive.

"Can I?" tanong niya habang hawak iyong isang pack ng sigarilyo niya.

Tumango ako. "Kaya mong ubusin 'yan?"

She shrugged as she lit up a stick. "I'm trying to cut back... but Samuel's making it impossible," she said as she smiled and then began smoking. "Ask me," she continued. "I'll try my hardest to be as honest as possible."

"Why do you have to try your hardest? Truth is the easiest version to tell. You don't have to remember and memorize your lies."

Natawa siya. "Oh, how very naive," sabi niya sa akin habang nasa pagitan ng mga daliri niya iyong stick. Naka-patong sa railings iyong dalawang kamay niya. Lumingon siya habang naka-tingin sa akin.

"Fine," I said. "In your opinion, why is Samuel filing an annulment?"

"I'll be completely honest with you, Deanne," sabi niya. "Can I call you that or do you prefer I call you Atty. Manjarrez?"

"I prefer Atty. Manjarrez."

She shrugged. "My marriage with Samuel is not conventional."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We married each other because..." she said and then once again shrugged. "Because it doesn't sound so bad. We like each other enough. We tolerate each other enough. We work long hours. It's not like we'll be around each other all day long."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What kind of marriage is that?"

"Not everyone marries for love, Atty. Manjarrez. I thought of all people, alam mo dapat 'yan. You work with annulment cases. Surely, you know that people marry for all kinds of reason."

"Yes. But Samuel?"

Natawa siya. "You've talked to him again, right?" she asked. I didn't nod. I was just there... staring at her. "He's different now, Atty. Manjarrez. Surely, you did notice that?"

"I have no idea," I said. "I don't think about him."

"You can be honest with me," sabi niya. "I won't get mad. I understand that this... whatever this is... it's complicated. I've been there."

"I am honest. I don't think about him."

"Well, do you want me to give you a rundown?" she asked. I didn't know if she was taunting me. I didn't know her game.

"No."

"Well, just stop me if you want," she said. "So, he took the BAR again. Failed to get into top 10, but I'd say that top 19 isn't that bad considering that a lot of changes happened when we took the BAR. He doesn't know, still, what he wants to practice, so he's trying out different fields. I remember him telling me that he's interested in insurance cases, so there's that."

"Have you met his family?"

I diverted my gaze.

"Oh. My bad. I thought with what he told me about you and your relationship, he'd at least introduce his family to you," she said. "Well, they're wonderful... Although a little too traditional, in my opinion. People from that generation, right? Ganoon din si Papa. I wonder kung nasabi niya na ba sa pamilya niya na gusto niyang magfile ng annulment. I can clearly imagine his mom having him prayed over," she said with a small chuckle.

"How did you two meet?"

"I told you, a party."

"Back in law school?"

She nodded. "It's Niko's birthday party... if I remember it correctly," she said. "Niko's my friend's husband... or boyfriend. I'm sorry. I don't know with those two anymore if they're married or not."

"You didn't date then?"

"Of course not," sabi niya. "I remember asking him about something and then he mentioned your name."

"My name?"

"Yes. He must've thought that I was interested, so he felt the need to tell me na may girlfriend siya."

Natahimik ako.

"Anyway, I wasn't interested then," she said. "Nagkita lang ulit kami nung review," she continued. "We both went to the same review center."

"You said may boyfriend ka non?"

Napa-ngiti siya na napa-tawa. "Oh, right... Vito," she said with a laugh on her face. "Back then, he sometimes made me forget na may boyfriend pala ako. He's always busy with work or with his friends. I'd argue that at that point, I was closer with Samuel since siya iyong lagi kong kasama sa review center. But Vito did try, in his defense. He's just... not invested. But I understood."

Napa-tingin ako sa kanya. Listening to her story, why did it feel like she was good with bare minimum? With her relationship with Vito then? And with her relationship with Samuel now? It was almost like she would take what she could have? That she would not even ask for more? Kahit na ngayon na ganito na iyong kasal nila, she's still grasping for straws? Just to keep it as was. Even though it's already wrecked.

"Why not marry Vito?"

"Are you kidding me? He publicly got himself imprisoned for someone else. No one would take me seriously if I stay with that man."

"Then, why is it different with Samuel?" I asked. "Why stay with him kahit na ayaw niya na sa 'yo?" diretso kong tanong sa kanya.

She chuckled. "Asking the right questions now, are we?" she asked as she lit another stick of cigarette.

"Our marriage was working," she said as she looked at me. "You may think whatever you want to think, but it was a good relationship, Atty. Manjarrez."

"Then why is he filing for annulment now if it's so good as you say it is?"

She became silent. I respected her silence. Naka-sandal iyong likod ko sa pader habang naka-tingin sa likuran niya. Shanelle has a long black hair. She was always wearing something formal. Mukha siyang laging pupunta sa korte. She's... a very attractive person. I refuse to believe that nothing happened between them.

"May nangyari ba sa inyo?" I asked.

Lumingon siya. "You want to know if I fucked your ex?" she asked back. "Do you need details for the case?" she asked sarcastically.

Tumingin ako sa kanya. "I fucked him first, so, no, I don't need you to describe how he is," I replied. "I just want to know if you two haven't consummated your marriage because we can use that."

There was... a hint of amusement on her face.

"I can see why," she said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What?"

Umiling siya. "Nothing."

"For fuck's sake," I said, exasperated. "Kung hindi mo sasabihin sa akin ang dahilan kung bakit may annulment, ano ba ang inaasahan mo na gagawin ko? Because I care about my professional reputation, Shanelle. I won't go to court with nothing to show for."

"Fine," she said.

"Fine what?"

"Samuel said..." she continued like she was forcing herself to continue. "Samuel said that he's doing this for me."

"He's filling annulment for you?"

Tumango siya. Kita ko iyong panginginig ng mga daliri niya habang ibinabalik niya sa pagitan ng mga labi niya iyong sigarilyo at iyong pagbuga niya ng usok.

"He said... that I'll be happier with someone else."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "You know... that that's not a ground for annulment, right?"

"Pretty sure he'll be using fraud as a ground."

Mas lumalim ang kunot sa noo ko. "Fraud?"

"That I know that I'm not attracted to him—that I'll never be attracted to him—yet I proceeded with the marriage."

There was confusion on my face. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko iintindihin ang sinabi niya... Na pakiramdam ko ay naiintindihan ko... pero paano kung mali?

"Are you saying—"

"I need you to dismiss this case," she said, cutting me off. "I don't want this going to court. I don't want my parents being summoned. I don't want my exes being deposed. Make this disappear," she added before she left me there, wondering what the fuck did just happen. 

**
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