Six p.m., and I sat alone in the pool house, beyond exhausted through stress, exertion, and lack of proper food.

At least I looked the part now. Skinny and tanned with glossy hair to catch the sun as Kane screwed me over a freaking lawn chair. Although the script had been hazy on the mechanics of that—David and his fetish for improvisation had struck again.

But the useless script aside, what was I supposed to do? How could I come up with three creative ways to give Kelvin what he wanted? I considered calling Lauren, but I knew what her answer would be. She'd already sent it—six links in an email, each one handpicked for maximum pleasure. Classy as well as filthy, she'd assured me in italics at the bottom. I suppose I should have been thankful for all the effort she'd gone to. I mean, how many girls had a bestie who'd spend hours watching porn for them?

The question was, did I dare to watch it too?

Oh, what choice did I have? It was either that or lie there in the missionary position on Saturday, waiting for the ground to open up and swallow me.

Blushing even though I was alone, I fetched my iPad and settled on one end of the couch. Did I need sound? Probably. I unravelled the wires on my headphones and plugged them in. If I signed up for Racino's movie, I'd be able to afford the latest iPad and wireless headphones too, but right now, I was saving every cent in case I never worked again. Deep breaths, Violet. The poolside was empty, the crystal blue of the water rippling in the glow of the submerged spotlights. Thank goodness. If any of my housemates had been in sight, I couldn't have done this.

Okay, here goes...

In the first video, a man played a grand piano as a blonde woman sat on the lid and watched, legs spread wide, one stiletto-clad foot either side of his hands. Gradually, the music slowed, and he abandoned the keys in favour of sliding her dress farther up her legs, all the way up to her... Holy shit! She wasn't wearing any panties! He buried his face in her pussy without hesitation, and she dropped back onto her elbows to give him full access as she writhed under his tongue.

I found myself squirming in the seat, moving in time to the blonde's moans, and when I realised what I was doing, I didn't know whether to be happy or horrified. Because Lauren was right—this was actually kind of hot. But it still didn't help me with the Kane situation because the man was doing all the work. Dammit.

Before I clicked on the next link, I staggered over to the window and pulled the drapes, just in case anyone happened to walk past. The mere thought of somebody seeing me watch a couple do that... Okay, so it made my thighs clench, but that didn't mean I wanted it to happen.

A guy in a suit walked into shot, and Lucas popped into my head. What the hell? Trent. Trent popped into my head was what I meant. Trent at senior prom, wearing a tuxedo with red suspenders and a matching boutonniere. I blocked out his date, Mandy Richards, because this was my fantasy and she had no place in it, especially after the way she'd laughed when I dropped ice cream on my gown.

On-screen, a brunette in a red sequinned cocktail dress dropped to her knees, eyes level with the guy's crotch. Slim, manicured fingers reached for his zipper and the not-inconsiderable bulge behind it. I'd never watched a woman suck a man's cock before, and when she freed his length and wrapped her lips around it, I found myself strangely curious, in a purely educational way, of course. What did he taste like? She never got to find out because two minutes later, he pulled out, a string of saliva still connecting his cock to her chin, and spurted all over her face. Ick! Did women really enjoy that? I wanted to assume no, but the throbbing between my legs suggested my subconscious disagreed with me. Had someone turned off the AC in here?

Cheese and rice, I'd need to jump into the swimming pool to cool off after this. Should I try watching another scene? My finger clicked on link three of its own accord, and I leaned forward as a couple filled the screen. Flipping heck—had Lauren been secretly talking to David? Because she'd picked out a couple on a sunlounger. He lay on the bottom wearing a pair of camouflage-patterned swim shorts while a bikini-clad woman rubbed her pussy along his crotch. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. He let out a groan and freed himself, using his other hand to push her bikini bottoms aside so she could lower herself on top. That shouldn't have turned me on as much as it did, but somehow, the two of them staying clothed rather than letting it all hang out ratcheted up the heat by a factor of ten. David should have taken notes.

I leaned forward to get a better look, then screamed as I caught movement in my peripheral vision. Who? What? The iPad went flying, but the headphones stayed firmly in my ears, wire trailing, and Lucas stared down to see the well-endowed couple going at it on the floor. Worse, the sound of their groans filled the pool house, the woman telling Sergeant Salami to thrust harder, harder, harder.

Death, take me now.

Lucas set the bottle of wine he was holding on the side table at the end of the couch.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I knocked, but you didn't answer, and... I thought you might need this tonight, but... I'll just leave."

I came to my senses and scrambled to my feet, then snatched up the traitorous tablet and jabbed at the "off" button.

"This isn't what it looks like!"

"Violet, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of women watch porn nowadays."

"I wasn't doing it for pleasure." I swiped at my face as a tear popped out, quickly followed by another. "It's research."

Lucas paused mid-stride, halfway to the door. "For the movie?"

"Of course for the movie." More tears fell, and I slumped back onto the couch. "I have no idea what I'm doing, in case that wasn't obvious already."

"But you're, what, twenty-five? I just assumed..."

Sobs burst out of me now, and I couldn't rein them back. "I lost my virginity in the back of a car, okay? I didn't even like the guy. The second time I had sex, it lasted literally twenty seconds and then the guy left. And the third asshole..." I screwed my eyes shut at the mere memory. "He cheated. Three weeks into our relationship, I walked in on him and some random girl he'd picked up in a club when he was drunk. But apparently, that was fine because he didn't even remember her name."

And when I'd gotten mad at him, somehow I was the unreasonable one.

Lucas wrapped me up in his arms and stroked my hair, soothing me with gentle fingers.

"Shhh. I understand. It's okay, I understand."

"Do you? Do you really? Have you ever been utterly humiliated and then had to go to the VD clinic and get tested for everything?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then how can you possibly understand?"

"Why don't I open this wine?"

Lucas got up to find glasses, and I curled into the smallest ball possible. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, porn happened.

"Here, drink this." Lucas shoved a glass of white into my hand and dropped onto the couch beside me. "It might help."

"The only thing worse than filming with Kane tomorrow would be filming with Kane and a hangover."

"Maybe just stick with a glass or two."

"Lucas, what am I gonna do? I need to 'make Kelvin happy' three times." I used my fingers to make little air quotes, and wine slopped onto my top. That indignity barely registered.

"What, you want me to give you tips?"

"No! I was asking a rhetorical question." Although... I glanced up through my eyelashes. "Unless you do want to?"

"Shit, Violet. I'm not the man to ask for this."

"Sorry, I'm sorry." I gulped back the remains of the wine, plus a few stray tears that had plopped into the glass. "I'm so sorry."

Lucas swapped his full glass for my empty one and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer until I was nestled into his side. His sweet kiss to my hair made me sigh. Why couldn't Lucas have Kane's part? That way, at least I wouldn't have had the double discomfort of disliking the man I was supposed to be sleeping with.

"I suppose you could go with hand, mouth, and pussy," he whispered. "Build things up."

"You think that would work? Do men like hand jobs?"

"Men like anything that gets them off. And that way, you could keep your clothes on for part of the time."

I thought back to the video I'd been watching when Lucas walked in. Even my underwear would be better than nothing.

"You think David would go for that?"

"If you play it sexy enough."

A thousand frustrations came out in one long sigh. "And therein lies the problem."

"Violet, you're naturally sexy as hell. You just get nervous."

Really?

"You truly think that?"

I shifted to face him, our bodies mere inches apart. Tonight, he hadn't changed his clothes after he came in, and he was still wearing Lance's suit and tie. So many lines got blurred making this movie.

"Yeah, I truly think that."

A second passed, then another, and another. Neither of us moved, but my pulse raced, my mind alight with possibilities. Should I risk it? If I didn't, I'd forever be Violet-the-Frigid, colder than an ice cube in the Arctic.

So I did. I kissed Lucas. I pressed my lips against his and even tried a little tongue.

And he didn't kiss me back.

Oh hell, oh hell, oh hell.

"Shit, Violet. I didn't mean it in that way."

I shoved away from the couch, running for the door, but he chased me and held it closed.

"Don't go."

Sobs burst from my throat as the evening ended in the total annihilation of my final shred of dignity.

"You told me I was sexy, you asshole. What other way could you mean it?"

"Fuck. I was just trying to make you feel better."

"Well, you failed."

"Violet..." Lucas leaned back and closed his eyes. "Violet, I'm gay, all right? You're sweet as sugar, and if I was into women, I definitely would, but I'm not."

What? I tried to process his words, and the wine wasn't helping. Gay? Lucas was gay? But...but he couldn't be. He'd made romcoms, and my research had unearthed pictures of him with a girl last year. An on/off romance, the media called it.

"But... But... You had a girlfriend."

"Jeanie's a childhood friend who helps out occasionally. She's one of the few people who know my secret, and now you do too."

"But why is it a secret?"

"Because most of my fan base is female. At this point in time, my name alone isn't big enough to land the good roles if I come out of the closet. That's the main reason I took this shitty part—to raise my profile."

Anger welled up inside me on Lucas's behalf. "But that's not fair. I mean, if you can act, and you obviously can, your private life shouldn't matter."

"It shouldn't, but it does."

"That sucks."

"It's just how it is. Someday in the future, I hope we'll reach a point where I can walk down the red carpet with a man on my arm, but we're not there yet."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Not at the moment." He gave me a shy smile, the one that made women swoon. "I haven't been so lucky in love either."

I stepped backward, away from the door. Weirdly, knowing that Lucas's love life was a disaster too offered a sense of relief, and I immediately felt guilty for the thought. But kindred spirits and all that.

"Want another glass of wine?" I asked.

"I wouldn't say no."

A glass turned into the rest of the bottle, and now that he'd spilled the beans, Lucas was more open than I'd ever seen him. He didn't ask me to keep quiet about his secret, but we both knew I would.

"So, have you ever been with a woman?" I asked, curiosity and alcohol getting the better of me.

"A bunch of them, but it never felt right. I kept thinking I just hadn't met the right girl yet, but one night, I got talking to this guy, and yeah, things happened. It was only casual, but that was the moment I knew."

"I've never felt right with a man. Maybe I'm a lesbian?"

Lucas choked on his wine, and I thumped him on the back until he was able to speak again.

"I doubt that's the reason, Vi. You've only tried three men, and they all sound like pricks."

"You tried more than three women?"

He blushed. He actually blushed. "A lot more. I have the equipment and I know how to use it, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us for me to demonstrate with you."

My cheeks burned too. "I wasn't... I didn't..."

"I know, sweets. Just sayin'." He snapped his fingers. "But I might have a solution to your problem."

"You do? Can you help me disappear to a non-eska...esta...extradition country?"

"Not quite, but how does a night of hot, no-strings sex sound?"

My turn to choke. "What? Who the hell with?"

"I'm not sure exactly, but I know a man who can arrange it."

"Like a pimp?"

"Fuck, no. A businessman. He owns a club, a private one. Above ground, it's perfectly respectable, but there's a dirty little secret in the basement. They call it The Dark. I used to go there back when I was experimenting."

"A sex club? You went to a sex club?"

"There's more to it than sex. Networking, a spa, a gym, a great restaurant... Okay, basically it's a sex club, yes. People go for the kink."

A little voice in the back of my mind whispered Trent's name. Shouldn't I save myself for him? But then again, what if we finally got together, only for me to embarrass myself totally with my lack of experience in the bedroom? And this was just one night that Lucas was offering, not a deep and meaningful commitment. Couldn't I simply use it as a learning experience the way he had?

"What if somebody recognised me there? What if the paparazzi found out I'd visited a place like that?"

"They won't."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because The Dark was set up for precisely that reason. Members are carefully selected, and most of them have as much to lose as you do if their membership becomes public knowledge."

"The Dark? It isn't a dungeon, is it?"

"It caters to all tastes. But nobody's going to start with the ropes and paddles unless you want them to."

The mere mention of torture made me shudder. "Can I think about this?"

"Sure. But if you want to go before the Kane thing, that only leaves tomorrow night."

"You'd take me?"

"Sure, I'd drive you there." Lucas put his glass down and fished around in his pocket. "Here, take this." He pulled out a rolled-up tie and handed it to me. Dark red silk. "I'll come here at eight tomorrow. If you're wearing this as a blindfold, I'll take you to The Dark. If not, then I'll take you out for dinner instead, and we won't mention the subject again. No awkwardness. How does that sound?"

I nodded, feeling a tad queasy. "Good. It sounds good."

Lucas dipped his head and kissed my flushed cheek. "Try to get some sleep, and I'll see you tomorrow."