i won't let these little things slip out of my mouth

Aurora Holland

My eyes landed on the wilting tulip sitting on my art desk. Out of all places, I'd decided to place it there. I'd stolen a vase from under the sink in the kitchen, filling it with water and spending what seemed like forever looking for the perfect place to set the flower Carter got me. I ended up choosing here, simply because this is where I spend most of my free time.

Not to mention, it was in the perfect spot to use it for inspiration. Call me a stupid, lovesick puppy, but I couldn't stop interpreting tulips in my art. Specifically, this blue-painted one he'd gotten me. I don't know how he remembered that my favorite color was blue or that my favorite flower was tulips, simply because the last time it had come up was the day we met at Logan's party.

Carter has an amazing memory, despite what he says.

I pulled the dying flower from the vase, careful not to touch the petals. I set it on my empty art desk before standing up and making my way over to my closet. Reaching above the top shelf, I felt around until I felt the familiar paperback-covered book, pulling it down to reveal my journal.

It looked very used, despite the fact that I'd barely used it since I've been here. One of my last entries was from my first week here, stating how I'd met all of Paige's friends and what happened in the gymnasium with James Hanneman. This was simply because that was how I usually got my feelings out, but now that I'm close friends with Katherine and I've been spending a lot more time with Carter, I've found myself not needing the journal as much.

Walking back over to my desk, I opened it to the next empty page. I looked up a few different ways to preserve flowers then they die, and I thought the scrapbooking idea was the cutest. Part of me wanted to frame it as another one of the ideas suggested, but I didn't due to the fear my mother would see it and go crazy when she found out it was from Carter.

She hasn't talked to me since the situation that night. She acts like I don't exist, and although if I think about it a lot, it'll upset me, I know I'd much rather have this than she hurt me the way she usually does.

It's been a little over a week since the party, the one where I stupidly got drunk and made a fool of myself in front of everyone. Paige has been spamming me with apologies, and although I've been naive before, I'm not stupid enough to know it's only because literally everyone's ignoring her.

Even Elijah, who doesn't usually treat people like that.

Nobody's talked to her; the only person I've seen with her out of our friend group is Logan. Logan's just that type of guy, though, and I'm not surprised since the only reason she even knew the things she did was because of him telling her.

He's also been going out of his way to talk to me, but I don't let him. Maybe I'm still overreacting since it's over a week later, but it doesn't change the fact that he promised me he wouldn't say anything to anyone, especially Paige. Paige wouldn't have had the leverage over me that she did if she hadn't known what Logan told her, so it just made what Logan did worse.

I know that Logan isn't the one who said the things Paige did, but he knew how important it was for her not to find out. For him to run and tell her anyway, and for me to find out through Carter, really hurt. I really thought we were beginning to have a really good friendship.

The sound of knocking on my bedroom door caused me to look away from the art I was working on, glancing one last time at it before standing up from my seat. I wasn't supposed to have any company today, and if it were Paige, I would immediately slam the door in her face.

I don't care if it makes my parents mad, and I don't care if I regret it later. I'm not ready to talk, and Paige just needs to respect that.

Opening my bedroom door, I looked to see a nervous Katherine standing on the other side. She was wearing her usual denim jacket, although underneath she wore nothing like she usually did.

Instead of her ripped jeans, cropped shirt, and bold makeup, she stood completely before me bare-faced, in gray sweatpants and a sports bra-type top.

"Katherine?" I asked in confusion, "Did you text me or something? I haven't really been on my phone."

"I need your help," She stated, ignoring my questions. "Please." She breathed out the last part, causing it to be almost inaudible. She looked as if asking me for help with whatever it was she needed was the hardest thing she's ever done, and immediately, I began to worry.

"What's going on?" I asked, moving to the side so she could enter my room.

I shut the door behind her as she walked in, her thumbs twiddling in circles as she sat at the foot of my bed. She looked like something had happened, but wasn't saying what, yet I didn't want to push as I knew she'd tell me when she was ready.

"Elijah asked me to homecoming," She said quietly, after what felt like forever of awkward silence between us.

A smile covered my features at the confession, my hand covering my mouth to hide my happiness. "That's great, right?" I asked, unsure of how to openly react to her.

"I said no," She then added. "I-I don't know why he asked me or if it's some stupid joke, but I can't embarrass myself."

"Elijah wouldn't do that," I immediately said, going to sit next to her.

I sat facing her, pulling my left leg underneath me while my right one dangled off the end. She stayed as she sat, so I could only really get a good look at her side profile.

"I know-" She stopped for a second, "At least I think I know."

"He wouldn't," I said immediately. "He was one of the first people I met as I began attending Riverway, and if you were to ask me who's the most genuine out of all of them, it would be him, simply because I know him the best. Besides Carter anyway."

"Right," She said, nodding again. "I just-I don't have the money to buy a dress or-or go out to eat before-" She stopped again, her big brown eyes looking at me in worry. "What does a homecoming dance even entail?"

"You've never been to a dance before?" I asked, "Me neither."

"You're going right?" She asked, grabbing my hands suddenly. "You have to go."

"And third wheel with you and Eli?" I asked with a dry laugh. "I don't think I want to do that, I've third-wheeled a lot with Paige, the last thing I want to do is do it all over again."

"You're not going with Carter?" She asked, pulling her hands from mine.

"He hasn't asked, and I don't think he will." I shrugged. Of course, it was upsetting, but I have nothing to be upset about. We're not dating, just really good friends. Plus, I didn't forget what he told me at the event for our parents' work. "He doesn't dance."

"I don't know what to do," Katherine freaked, running a hand through her messy blond hair.

"Do you want to go with him?" I asked, twirling my ring around my finger.

"Of course I do! I said no and freaked and slammed the door in his face because I was scared." She rambled, "He probably hates me now."

"It's Elijah, I doubt that." I laughed, holding my hand out. "Give me your phone."

"Why?" She looked at me suspiciously, handing me her phone anyway.

I took the phone, pulling up her texts with Elijah. I didn't read any texts that were already passed between the two, not wanting to get into her business more than she was letting me. I typed a quick text and showed it to her before sending it.

After reading it, she just nodded in confirmation that I could send it. I pressed send, handing her phone back.

"All I did was tell him that you were nervous and you'd love to go," I assured her, despite the fact that she read the text I sent. "This will show you really do want to go with him, and it was a nervous reaction, which it was."

"But that doesn't change the fact that I have nothing to wear," She said with a whine, lying back on my bed. She rested her hands on her face, clearly overthinking. Although I can't judge, I'd be the exact same way in this situation.

"I think I can fix that," I finally said, standing up from my bed. I walked over to my art desk, my eyes looking over the wilted flower, before grabbing my phone from the side of the journal. "Give me a moment."

After scrolling through my phone, I finally smiled as I landed on the contact. I hit call, waiting patiently for it to ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, C. Are you busy right now?" I asked, fiddling with the ring on my finger. Despite calling him so many times, I still felt butterflies when I heard his voice through my phone speaker. It's crazy to think we've gone this far, talking on the phone or at least texting daily. It wasn't something I was used to, but I'm definitely not complaining.

"Practice just ended, was about to go home and shower. What's up?" Carter asked on the other side, his voice smooth and casual. I, on the other hand, used all of my might to make sure I didn't have a shaky voice or tone.

He always seemed to pick up on if I was nervous, and he wasn't afraid to say something about it. The last thing I need is for him to make a comment while I'm in the same room as Katherine, that'll just make it worse.

"A little birdie told me that your best friend asked mine to homecoming," I whispered, glancing back at Katherine.

She was occupied by looking at my ceiling, despite nothing being there. She was super lost in thought, probably stopping herself from freaking out any more than she already was. She was doing a good job, most definitely, considering when I'd freaked out about simply going to a party with Carter, I looked like I was doing some type of drug.

"Ah, and she said no, right?" Carter asked, bringing my attention back to him. "At least that's what he said."

"Not anymore," I mumbled. "I texted him saying she changed her mind." I couldn't help but smile at the words, leaning my butt against the edge of my desk.

"Did you now?" He hummed, and I could hear a car door shut in the background. "Playing Cupid all of a sudden, aren't you Sleeping Beauty?"

I blushed at the nickname. Usually, had anyone called me this, I would cringe really hard. Maybe it's the fact that I'm falling for Carter more and more each day, but I find it cute the way it rolls off his tongue. He only ever says it when it's just us two, making it feel even better as it's not something he just shouts at the top of his lungs whenever anyone's around.

The nickname came up the day we hung out after the party. We put on A Walk to Remember, but I almost immediately fell asleep. On top of the fact that my name is Aurora, it just happened. And it's not really dramatic how it happened, I just happened to fall asleep, and the nickname was said. He also didn't say it often, overusing the name. It was just an every-once-in-a-while thing, such as right now.

Cliche, right? It's almost as if it's something I'd see in one of my romance movies...

"Nothing forced, just giving a light shove in the right direction," I finally answered the boy, my cheeks hot. It made me thankful he couldn't see me, despite the fact that he's seen me get flustered quite a bit.

"So what does this have to do with you calling me?" He then asked, getting to the point.

"Would you be willing to drive us to the mall? I know you absolutely hate the mall, and I don't want to for-"

"Sure, baby." He cut me off, my cheeks heating up even more. "Let me go home and shower, and I'll be there to get you guys."

I glanced over, seeing that Katherine's eyes were now on me. Her brows were pushed together, watching me carefully. I ignored her look at first, just so I could get off the phone with Carter.

I didn't want to ask Carter to give us a ride to the mall, especially because I know that he doesn't like going. He only went last time because Paige wouldn't shut up, and he looked like he hated every second of it. I didn't want that, but it was unfortunate because I don't have a car, and neither does Katherine.

"I'll see you soon," Carter said, causing me to remember he was still on the phone.

"Sounds good," I said, hanging up. I looked up at Katherine, her nervous face turning into a knowing smirk.

"So... when did he start calling you baby?" She asked, her eyes flicking with amusement.

"It's not an often thing," I answered as if it were nothing, although I was freaking out on the inside. However, today wasn't about me. It was about getting the perfect dress for Katherine for homecoming.

Without even her telling me she was freaking out, I could tell. And I can most definitely relate to her because I'd probably freak out just as much if it were Carter and I in that situation instead of her and Elijah. Therefore, I want to give her the best experience I can, without pushing it too much, the way Paige would usually do to me.

Katherine deserves happiness, and I can tell she feels that way with Elijah. It's cute, and I want to support both of them.

"When did it start?" She asked again, not seeming to care that the conversation had switched to me. I just began getting dressed, changing into something more presentable for the mall.

As I changed, I thought about what to say to her. The first time he called me baby was the night of the party, the one I got drunk. I didn't realize it till I replayed the events in my mind the day after, as I was too caught up in my feelings to notice he said the simple word at the time.

Besides, it was just a word. Elijah calls me cute little pet names all the time, so it's nothing different with Carter. I'm pretty sure Elijah's even called me baby, if I can remember correctly.

I mean, it feels different with Carter. But just because it feels different to me doesn't mean that it is different.

"The night of the party," I whispered, deciding to answer her. She seemed to be less nervous the more she talked about this, so I gave in just to make her feel better.

"It's been that long?!" She asked in surprise, shooting up from her lying position.

"It's not a big deal. Elijah calls me love and sweetheart all the time," I said, changing shirts. For some reason, I didn't feel insecure about changing in front of Katherine. Even with Paige, I'd run off to the bathroom, feeling too insecure to try and change in front of her. But with Katherine, I wasn't too worried, she did really well at making me feel better about myself.

But maybe it's because the more we hang out and the closer we get, the more I realize we have so much in common. Not having friends (not including Paige), never having dated anyone before, basically everything I deal with, she deals with as well. It's almost like we were meant to cross paths.

"But the difference between Elijah and Carter is that Lijah's like that with everyone, Carter's not. I don't even think he was like that with Ashley." Katherine said from her spot.

"If Carter didn't do anything romantic with Ashley, as everyone says, were they even together?" I couldn't help but ask my thoughts aloud. I know it's wrong to press into Carter's past relationship, especially because most people who knew him before I did know nothing about it. However, I am intrigued because, despite my strong feelings for him, I'm still curious as to whether or not the end of their relationship was because of something Carter did.

I don't want to mix myself up with him any further if he did something terrible to Ashley. Even if she's just a mean bully, it doesn't justify his actions whatsoever.

"I don't know much about Carter Jackson, quite frankly, because I don't care. He's a normal person just like the rest of us, and our paths never really crossed until I met you," Katherine started, standing from my bed. "All I know is he was very different before you came along. And that's a good thing."

"Was he horrible?" I asked, shifting my entire position to her. This only intrigued me more, and although I know I should stay quiet before I get my feelings hurt, I can't help it.

"No, not exactly." She shook her head. She walked over to my vanity, standing in front of the mirror to fix her hair. She glanced at me from the mirror for a second before looking back at herself. "He just wasn't that type of person."

"What type?" I asked.

"Nice, open." She shrugged, "I don't mean he was openly mean to people. He's just not very extroverted. He and Logan are opposite in that sense. Whereas Logan's friendly with everyone, Carter isn't. He's blunt and honest, and most people prefer little white lies to make them feel better about themselves. If you ask me for my opinion, I think Carter dated Ashley because she batted her eyelashes and played the nice card."

"So why did he stay with her if he realized she's not what she seems like?" I asked.

"Who knows? I'm sure Carter will tell you if you ask. You've talked long enough and clearly, he feels some type of way about you." Katherine turned to me, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets.

"It's not my place to ask," I admitted, shaking my head. "I shouldn't even be asking other people."

"You're curious, it's okay to ask. I ask Elijah a million questions all the time," She said. "He's very open, and I'm sure Carter will be honest with you."

"Do you think the rumors are true about him? That he hurt Ashley?" I asked.

"If he did, it was to get out of that hellhole of a relationship," She said, causing me to frown. "But that doesn't mean I think so. I just think if he were to do anything of the sort, it would be for a reason like that. I don't think he just decided to fuck someone else one day. Carter Jackson's untouchable; you're lucky if he chooses to want you. So why would he want someone else when it probably took a lot for him to look in one's direction?"

"A lot of people keep telling me he's untouchable, but I just don't see it." I shook my head again, biting the inside of my cheek in thought. "Even when we didn't know each other, he wasn't untouchable. Maybe for the first thirty seconds, but that's it."

"Well, you're different. I mean, everyone in Riverway knows that." Katherine sat at my art desk chair, facing my way. "Nothing bad, like before. But usually, new students come and they try to do anything they can to overthrow the Jackson siblings or Ashley and her posse in being the most popular, but you didn't. You even had a shoo-in thanks to Paige, and yet you didn't care."

"Attention is new to me," I admitted, "I don't understand how they can do it."

"I'm just saying, I've known Carter less than you have, technically. I mean-" She stopped, her eyes moving upward in thought before going back to me. "Technically, yes, I knew him first. But we've never crossed paths or said anything to each other, so I didn't really start knowing him until I met you. So you know him better than I do, meaning you'd know more than me if he seems like the type to do that."

"Someone can seem like they're not the type to do something, then turn around and do it with no remorse," I mumbled, taking in everything she was saying. "But it doesn't even matter anyway, we're just friends, so whatever happened between him and Ashley is none of my business."

Katherine raised a brow at me, a smirk setting over her features. "Honey," She started, but before she could say anything else, the sound of a horn was heard from outside. Her eyes then moved to my window, and she walked over and leaned against it to look at the yard. "Prince Charming is here," She stated, before turning to look at me. "Or in this case - Prince Phillip."

"What?" I asked, scrunching my nose up in confusion.

"Your prince awaits, Sleeping Beauty." Katherine pushed herself off the windowsill, her eyes leaving mine as she began walking out of my room. "Don't want to keep him waiting!"

My eyes stayed on hers as I was stuck in my spot before realization hit my features. "What? No!"