i think i think too much

Aurora Holland

"So... you met a few of my friends," Paige told me as she pulled out of the mall parking lot. I just looked at her from the passenger seat, my fingers twirling the ring sitting around my finger. "You'll be seeing a lot of them."

"I'm sure I'll only see them around you," I couldn't help but reply.

"With the way Logan was looking at you? I'm not so sure. I usually have Logan's focus one hundred percent. He's not the type of guy to just not pay attention when you're talking." Paige side-glanced me, a faint smirk growing on her face.

"He was just being nice, the way they all do. To impress you." I excused, looking out of the window again.

Paige's car smelt like cherries. It was her favorite scent, and despite the fact she had numerous perfumes and body sprays, the majority of them consisted of something cherry or something with cherry in them.

"No, no I know Logan Jackson, he's a very respectful, generous guy." Paige gripped the steering wheel. "I don't think I've ever seen him give that much attention to anyone like that let alone make a fool of himself. The Jackson family is one of the biggest families in Riverway if not the biggest - they don't just make a fool like that."

"You're definitely overthinking it, but okay." I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Our dads work at the company with Logan's dad. I've been around him fairly enough despite school and being in the same friend group." Paige started, stopping at a red light. "If there's one thing I know about the Jackson brothers - is that they're untouchable."

Brothers? So Logan has a brother then? Why wasn't he around when we were at the mall?

"Logan didn't seem very untouchable to me," I said.

"I don't mean like that. I mean, it's hard to get their attention in more than a friendly way. Logan and his older brother Carter basically own Riverway. Their parents basically run the town. Think of Riverway as a city run by a King and Queen and think of the brothers as Princes. Everyone either wants to be with them, or be them." Paige continued, continuing her drive to my house.

"What is this... a cliche 2000s movie?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I'm being completely serious, Ror. I've witnessed Logan go on a couple of dates, but it's never anything more than that. He always cuts it off before it can go too far. Carter on the other hand..." She stopped for a moment, "Carter has only ever been known to be with one girl, and it didn't end well."

"Okay, but I've never been with a boy either and people don't assume I'm untouchable." I countered, watching as she turned into my neighborhood. 

"But the difference is they have people crawling at their feet to be with them, you don't." As soon as the sentence left her mouth, I realized she was right. As much as it hurts to hear, anyway.

I don't know this Carter kid, and I don't know Logan despite the introduction he gave me. All I know is if what Paige is saying about them is true, then I have nothing on them.

I've had feelings for a boy one other time before. Nothing happened out of it, obviously, as he was more interested in Paige and only ever bothered getting my number to get hers. Not to mention he only ever seemed interested in talking to me when he had to, which was when we would either pick up or drop off our siblings.

Yeah, I thought I was madly in love with my little brother's best friend's older brother. Tragic.

Also, that's such a big tongue twister. Little brother's best friend's older brother. Wow.

"Aurora, I'm telling you. Out of all the girls attending Riverway High, I think you're the most likely person with a chance to see what the romantic side of Logan's is like." Paige smirked over at me, pulling into my driveway.

"I met the boy once. We introduced names, he asked if we were going to the party tonight. It's nothing more, nothing less. He was being friendly, as most people are when I'm around you." I responded as I got out of her now-parked car.

I carried my bags up to the door, Paige only finding the bags she'd need for the day. Since she'd bought extra, she just hid them in the compartment in the back of her SUV.

Her parents had gifted it to her sometime last year when she got her Driver's License. They thought since they're always busy and she's a busy girl, it would be helpful for her to have her own car.

Of course, it wasn't the newest make or model, but it was still pretty new and had absolutely no scratches or dents in it.

I, on the other hand, will be lucky if I get an old beat-up car before I graduate. Paige and I got our Driver's Licenses at the same time after we both studied really hard for our Permits. She got her Permit a month before I did, but we tested for the actual License together. She was gifted with a car for her good work studying, I was gifted by 'now you can do our shopping'.

Or something like that.

We made our way inside the house, where my father sat on the couch with Jason. He was entertaining my little brother, who was bouncing up and down on the couch as they battled 1v1 in one of the many games he plays.

My dad sideglanced us, giving us a smile before putting his attention back on the TV. "Have fun shopping, girls?" He asked.

"Yeah. We're going to go get ready," I responded, making my way to the stairs.

"Your mother's working late tonight. I'm going to be taking Jason to that arcade downtown. Make sure to take your house key and keep one of us updated if you decide to do anything after studying." My father said, hitting a couple of the buttons on the controller.

"Sounds good," I told him, finally getting up the rest of the staircase.

It wasn't long before we were in my room. The outfits were laid out perfectly on the bed, making sure they weren't wrinkly. Paige began to sift through my makeup, looking to see what would look good on my face with my chosen outfit.

I sat my belongings down in a lounge chair in my room, walking toward the bathroom. "I'm going to take a quick shower, I'll be back."

Paige continued doing what she was doing, and I took that as my cue to go to the bathroom. 

I tried to be quick, making sure to wash my hair and body, and even shave my armpits and legs before getting out. There was more I could do, but I wasn't sure how long we had to leave and didn't want to take too long to shower. It took forever for my hair to dry, even when I blow-dried it.

Plus, who knew what Paige had planned for my hairstyle and makeup.

I'm a big fan of beauty. I'm a fan of cute clothes, shoes, and hairstyles that take forever to perfect. I love a good smokey eye, cat liner, and bold lipstick. However, despite my love for it, I don't have the best ability to make myself look the way those girls look in a magazine.

Paige is very talented when it comes to those things. She has an eye for it, it's like second nature. Despite both of us playing with makeup when we were little - whether it be those kid makeup sets or even sneaking into one of our mother's real makeup - she got all the talent.

It seemed like she got the talent for a lot of things, the more I think about it. But beauty is something I can see her excelling in as a career. It's like she was born to do it.

"So I think we should start with your hair since that'll take the longest," Paige said as I stepped out.

My body was tightly wrapped in a blue towel, water dripping from my body to the carpet. It seems as if no matter how long I take to dry off after showering, I somehow still manage to trail water all along the floor. It was something my mom has always gotten onto me about, but now that I'm in my own bathroom that nobody else will be using, I can trail water as much as I want.

As stupid as it sounds, I'm grasping onto that little freedom. I'm grasping at any type of freedom I can get.

Maybe that's why I'm letting Paige make all the decisions. Maybe that's why I'm so down with letting her dress me up like a real-life Barbie doll, only to sit around and stay silent most of the night.

Or maybe I'm just hoping that my life here in Riverway will be different.

My father always says that things only change when we want them to. Sure, some things are absolutely out of our control, but it's more in the sense that our lives aren't going to change. I won't make more friends if I don't go out of my way to make them.

I won't pass the class unless I do everything in my power to pass.

I won't get my first job to pay for my own car unless I apply for the job.

Maybe I need to start taking that advice. Sure, my dad probably didn't mean it in the sense of love and romance, but more as getting the career I want and succeeding in life in other ways.

Going to a high school party would be the beginning. Of what, exactly? I don't know yet. But it could change the reputation I was given back at Point Prep. The sad, lonely, homeschooled girl who was cousins with the school's hottest girl. Despite only being homeschooled for a few years, it didn't change the label.

There are other ways they'd describe me, but I'd rather not think about it. It'll just get my mood down, which is the last thing I want right now.

"What kind of hairstyle were you wanting?" Paige loudly asked, making sure I was able to hear her over the sound of the hair dryer.

I had sat down on the stool sitting in front of my vanity, my hand clutching the towel tightly so it didn't fall. I could feel the hot air from the machine on the back of my neck, and I couldn't help but wince when she got a little too close to my skin.

"Sorry," She apologized. "You didn't answer my question."

"Umm, I don't know." I told her, "I don't want to do anything too dramatic."

"It's a high school party, nothing's dramatic." She giggled, waving the hair dryer back and forth.

She used a detangler brush to brush through my hair as she went, and I couldn't help but feel content with the feeling. I love it when people brush my hair, as weird as it is. There's just something about the feeling of a brush softly going through my hair without me being the one to do it.

"I'm thinking maybe we can do a ponytail?" She asked, "Pull out some hairs to frame your face, make it look messy."

"You're the artist here, you have all control." I shrugged, knowing she'd manage to convince me to do what she wanted anyway.

She smiled at me through the vanity mirror, her eyes squinting at the gesture. She just put her focus back on my hair, the only sound in the room being the mixture of the hair dryer and the music playing from the speakers.

After what felt like forever, Paige was finally done with my hair. She let it flow down my back, running her fingers through the soft tendrils. My hair was naturally wavy. I'm not meaning the cliche wavy, either. I mean it's curly at one moment, straight the next. It looks like a failed attempt at curling my hair, honestly.

Paige ran the brush through my hair once more, pulling it up to the height she wanted it. She pulled two thick strands on each side of my head, letting the dark hair fall into place by my cheeks. She brushed it, making sure to not make it too neat before pulling it into a ponytail holder with a white scrunchie.

After she tightened it, I let her move my head at different angles while she looked over her work. She smiled in contentment as she realized it looked perfect, before spraying just a small amount of hairspray to keep the bumps at bay.

"You want to get dressed first or do your makeup first?" She asked.

"I'll get dressed in my underwear but I think you should do my makeup before I put my clothes on," I told her.

"Great idea! Don't want to get any eyeshadow dust on your top!" She exclaimed, scooting away from me so I could stand up.

I grabbed a bra and underwear before beginning my way to the bathroom. It was then that Paige suddenly stopped me.

"Wait!"

Looking at her, I waited for her to say what she needed to. She then pointed to the bra, "Your shirt doesn't need a bra."

"It doesn't?" I asked, glancing from the bra to her.

She rolled her eyes, grabbing the black material off of the bed. "How do you expect to wear a bra with this?"

"I don't know," I said.

"You might as well just get dressed. I don't want you messing up your hair constantly changing." She threw the shirt to me, before reaching over and grabbing the skirt.

Somehow, I managed to catch them all. I just smiled sheepishly as I made my way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

As I got ready, I could hear Paige jamming out to the music. She was probably changing herself and beginning to get ready.

I didn't know what she planned on wearing tonight, but I did know she was going to look breathtaking. She always did. I've seen this girl wearing the craziest outfits, yet she always somehow manages to turn heads wherever she goes.

As soon as I slipped the clothing on, I checked myself out in the mirror. It was slightly foggy from my shower, but I was still able to see the shape of my body and how my hair looked. The hair was a good idea for the outfit.

I wore a long-sleeved off-the-shoulder black top. The edges along the top of the body and the sleeves were ruffled, giving it a cute girly look. I had a black and white skirt to go along with it, the main color being black and the little flowers printed all along the entire thing being white. There was also a short yet wide slit in the leg, giving me kind of a scandalous look.

When I walked out of the bathroom, I saw Paige was already dressed. She wore a black bralette with lace on the top, sticking out from underneath her white sweater. The sweater was absolutely beautiful, as it was a cropped sweater with strings that wrapped around her torso. She wore a plain black skirt with it, ending just in the middle of her thighs.

Her hair was already naturally straight, and since she didn't shower she didn't need to do much styling. She just used my brush to brush through it, making sure there were no imperfections. She then used a comb to comb out her bangs, fanning them out to make them look thicker.

"You ready for makeup, Ror?" She asked as soon as she noticed me, standing up from the stool.

I nodded, walking over and taking my spot. Paige doing my makeup wasn't anything new, it was really just for what we were getting ready for.

The more time went by, and each time I looked at the clock, I found myself growing more and more nervous. What was a high school party like? Was it anything like the movies or TV shows? What about like the books I'm constantly reading?

Will I meet the love of my life there? Will there be drama? So many questions, and no answers whatsoever.

But then again, I guess nobody could ever know until the time comes. It's not something you just plan out like that, that'd be weird.

Paige did a simple look for my makeup. It was a nude-colored eyeshadow, mascara, and some highlight on my cheekbones and I applied my vanilla-scented lip gloss after. It was simple, and nothing that would catch my parents' attention if I were to see them.

Well, I know I won't see my mother now that my father informed me she's working late. But there's still the chance I'll see him on my way out if he and Jason haven't left yet.

When she was done setting my makeup, she did hers. She was so talented, that she was able to do a light makeup look on herself in ten minutes or less. It was close to mine, although instead of a nude color for her eyeshadow, she did a smokey eye look. It wasn't anything dramatic, and I just watched her in shock as she managed to make such a bold eye look seem so soft.

She applied some pink lip gloss as her final touch before doing one last look in the mirror. She smiled at her work, turning to me. "Let's take a photo! Your first-ever high school party!" She exclaimed, jumping out of her seat.

I just smiled at her as she grabbed her phone from the charger, walking over to me with the camera pulled up. We took a few selfies before she put on the self-timer, letting us take a body-sized photo.

We put on our shoes afterward - her with black heels with straps that go up her calf, and me with black high-top Converse. I applied deodorant and perfume as we gathered our things.

"Wait!" She suddenly exclaimed, "Decoy!"

She grabbed two pairs of baggy sweatshirts from the pile of clothes littering my bed, throwing the blue one to me. "Put it on, your skirt should be fine since you usually wear those anyway. We just need to look comfy."

I did as she said, being careful to not mess up my hair or makeup. We gathered our purses and made our way out of the bedroom, silent as we descended down the stairs.

"Heading off?" My father asked. He was now sitting in the kitchen at the island, drinking a cup of coffee. "We're heading out not much later."

Just as the question was asked, the sound of a horn honking outside echoed. Paige looked at me with a smile before replying to my father.

"We'll be back later. We're carpooling so I'm leaving my car here. Bye Uncle Harry!"

Before I could say anything, Paige grabbed my hand and yanked me from the house. I didn't even look back, too afraid my father would see right through my little white lie.

My dad was really good at being able to tell when I lied, so I don't know how I'd get through a conversation about this 'study' group in the morning when Paige was already gone and out of the house.

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The outfit at the top is Aurora's, the outfit below is Paige's. I do not own either photo, I just got the inspiration from Pinterest.