Louis arrived home about fifteen minutes after Jamie carrying boxes of pizza. Andy was instantly happy, waiting impatiently for Louis to cut it into slices.

'Come on dad we're starving,' he whined. Louis gave him a hard look that Jamie now recognised was fake. He went into the living room where his mom was sat with Julia curled up into her side.

'Go through to the kitchen and get something to eat,' Charlotte said giving Julia a gentle push.

'Aren't you gonna get something to eat mom?' Jamie asked feeling a little concerned.

'Could you ask Louis to bring me a slice through, I'm so tired.'

Jamie got to his feet. His mom never ate in the living room, even if Louis hadn't told him she was pregnant he'd have guessed something wasn't quite right. However, he was saved from a journey as Louis came through with the remainder of the pizza, handing Charlotte a plate with three slices on it.

'I can't eat that much,' she said rolling her eyes at him.

'Just try,' he replied. 'You should keep your strength up.'

'It's easier said than done when you have no appetite,' Charlotte grumbled but she was soon biting into a slice of pizza.

'I think you should take the rest of the week off school,' Louis said lowering his voice, and Jamie pretended not to pay attention.

'I only work afternoons,' Charlotte said. 'That would be taking advantage.'

'No it wouldn't, you're not well. You can't guarantee you're not gonna faint again, and you don't need the job anyway.' Jamie waited for his mom to object but she quietly acquiesced.

'Okay just this week, and it's only to stop you worrying.' She gave Louis a stern look before her face broke into a smile.

Jamie couldn't help the slight frown that appeared on his face, his mom was obviously happy, and he hoped to god nothing went wrong. Since Louis had told him the news his thoughts had returned to his early childhood, to another time when his mom had been pregnant.

                                                                    ~~~

Jamie had been around nine or ten. His dad was supposed to pick him up on Saturday morning, and for some reason, he was running late. Jamie hadn't cared though, he liked being at home with his mom and Louis.

'He must be held up,' Louis said exchanging a wary look with Charlotte. She smiled tightly before going back to the ironing. 'Why don't you leave that?'

'It needs doing or are you going to do it?' Jamie noticed an edge to her voice but Louis gave her a half smile.

'Yeah, I will, so put it down.'

Charlotte paused, indecision on her face. 'I'd rather keep busy.' She resumed ironing and Louis's mom tutted. She didn't usually come around on a Saturday but Jamie hadn't thought anything was amiss at the time.

'Charlotte please sit down, you should rest,' Louis's mom said. Jamie watched the adults curiously, it wasn't like his mom to take orders from anyone.

Charlotte turned to her mother in law frowning. 'Resting won't make a blind bit of difference,' she said and Jamie couldn't miss the anger in her voice although she'd spoken quietly.

Louis's mom turned to Charlotte, her face full of pity. 'I know it won't but for your own well being, please sit down.' She glanced at Jamie, clearly choosing her words carefully. 'I do think you should let Louis take you to the hospital.'

 'She's right Lottie,' Louis interjected.

Charlotte turned to him. 'I don't need a doctor to tell me what I already know okay.' Louis and his mom exchanged concerned looks.

'But they should check you over, just to make sure,' Louis's mom said in a hushed voice. 'You might need a D and C.' Jamie frowned wondering what on earth that meant.

'Well I can't go,' Charlotte snapped. 'Nick hasn't collected Jamie yet.'

'I'll stay here with Jamie and Andrew. Please go to the hospital. If not for yourself then for me. I'm only going to sit here imagining all kinds if you don't.'

'Yeah and you know she'll nag,' Louis added tongue in cheek.

Charlotte sighed. 'What if Nick doesn't show up?'

'That doesn't matter, I'll take the kids to the park,' Louis mom said. 'Frankly, if he can't keep to the arrangements for seeing his own-' She stopped talking looking at Jamie, realising she'd spoken out of turn. Jamie didn't care though, he'd rather go to the park than be cooped up in his grandparents' house, no doubt that's where his dad would take him.

Charlotte sighed, switching the iron off. 'Okay, let me get my purse.'

                                                                                   ~~~

Jamie's dad never did show up so he got to spend the afternoon in the park. Looking back he remembered how Louis's mom had seemed on edge, and he hadn't been sure if that was because of his dad's no-show or if she was worried about Charlotte. She wouldn't tell him why she'd gone to the hospital, just that it was nothing for him to worry about. When Charlotte had got home she'd gone straight to her bedroom, and Louis and his mom had disappeared into the kitchen to talk privately.

Jamie feigned tiredness and went to bed early because the atmosphere in the house was so weird. However he couldn't sleep, and without the usual noise of the TV or radio carrying upstairs, he could hear voices coming from the living room. He crept to the bottom of the stairs to listen; the door to the living room was ajar, and he could see his mom and Louis although he was careful to keep out of sight.

'Four dead babies, Louis,' his mom said, and Jamie shivered. 'Four!'

'Four? I don't know what you mean?' Louis sounded as confused as Jamie felt.

'I had a miscarriage before I was pregnant with Caroline,' Charlotte said almost choking on the words. 'You and Nick have something in common now, I've given you both two dead babies.'

Jamie saw Louis get up, pain etched in his face as he went over to Charlotte. 'Lottie, don't say that,' he said pulling her into his arms while she sobbed bitterly.

'All I wanted was a family-'

'You've got a family. I didn't marry you expecting to have loads of kids. I wanted you when it was just you and Jamie. You've got to believe me.'

Jamie strained to hear his mom's words. 'Everyone else gets to have babies at the drop of a hat, babies they don't even want. Why do mine have to die?'

'Lottie, don't.' Louis was holding Charlotte in his arms, stroking her hair but even Jamie knew she was too distraught to be comforted.

'You should leave me, find a woman who can give you a family.'

Jamie trembled and wrapped his arms around himself. Were his mom and Lou going to break up?

'You've given me a family, you've given me everything,' he heard Louis insist, and he relaxed slightly. 'I wanted to be with you when I never even thought we'd have kids. And we had Andrew. Why can't that be enough for you?'

'Why should it be?' Charlotte said her voice raising.

'Because this is making you miserable, trying for another baby and it not working. It's destroying you. I'm not going to see you go through this again.' 

Jamie watched his mom pull away from Louis. 'What are you saying?'

'I don't want to try for another baby, I can't let you put yourself through this. The last two years have been hell, trying to get pregnant and then losing the babies. It's not worth it.'

'It is to me,' Charlotte said angrily. 'Why are you trying to take away my one bit of hope? I knew it would be hard, after Caroline, I knew that! But we had Andrew....why can't I have another baby?' She was overcome by a fresh bout of sobbing, and Louis tried to comfort her but she pushed him away.

'Lottie, please,' he said reaching out to her again. 'I love you, the kids love you, we don't need another baby to be happy.' Eventually, she was crying so hard she let Louis hold her, and Jamie listened as he murmured words of comfort. Jamie knew the words were useless, he knew his mom was heartbroken. It wasn't until he felt his own wet cheeks that he realised he was crying with her.

                                                                        ~~~