CHAPTER FORTY ONE

The rest of the school year seemed to fly by, the months blending into each other until it was summer and they were smack back at the end of exams and the beginning of university offers. After Ashlyn and Gabriel had been expelled and severely disciplined by the local police force with counts of breaking and entering as well as sexual assault, things started settling down.

Some new drama had occurred following Becky's ridiculously stupid decision, as it always did in high school, and people's interests wore off.

Whilst she had stopped avoiding Rayne and running away whenever he was around, Hannah just wasn't the same person around him. The bond between them had been broken and the worst thing was, she knew it was through no fault of his own. He tried to talk to her many times but she'd mumble an excuse and get out of there, tail between her legs. At school Rayne had resorted to giving Carter messages to pass along whilst Becky, Cameron and Mohammad spent their time loudly exclaiming how stupid she was being.

When he wasn't around others, he would continue sending her voicemails. It tore at something inside her when she listened to each and every one per night but she couldn't bring herself to ignore them. Becky had clearly told him that Hannah believed he didn't like her – which was a lie, even to herself – and he had resorted to changing that. Every night he would send her a voicemail with something he liked about her. Over the months, they piled up but he still hadn't ran out of things to say.

Hannah knew how stupid she was being for pushing him away when he was the best thing that had ever happened to her but she couldn't help it. Truth be told, the embarrassment about the video had slightly worn off but now she was faced with an even worse dilemma.

She really and truly loved him.

And having that thought spinning around her mind whenever she thought of him – which was damn near all the time – made it even harder to look at him. She didn't know how it had happened really, but it hit her like a shot in the dark. On an ordinary day, it struck the target that was the heart she had built walls around.

Hannah had tried to tell herself that it wasn't true, that she was only eighteen years old – far too young to fall in love. She had a lifetime to look forward to, a world to explore and somewhere inside her, she felt love would have dragged her down. She had tried to step out of the shooting zone as the acceptance hurtled at her, full force, but how could she possibly ignore it when it was as real as she was?

And every night, when she lay in bed and listened to the voicemails that had clogged up her new phone's memory, it hit her even harder.

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Thankfully, exam season flew by and Hannah was ecstatic to know she had done fairly well and gotten into Cardiff for Web Design and Internet Application Development. She had never intended to leave England, even if it was only five hours away from London, but this was her future and she couldn't refuse it.

The others were all moving around the country as well, their friendship dispersing in what was a bittersweet feeling. On one hand they were all excited for what was to come but on the other, they had all formed such close bonds this year that it felt a shame to leave it all behind.

With promises that they would all remain friends no matter what, Hannah found herself sitting in her most formal and expensive dress – a graduation gift from her aunt – beside the stage. She had eventually said yes to the offer of giving a short speech at the end-of-year celebratory event but with her stomach now twisting in a ball of nerves, she almost wished she hadn't.

Eventually the head-teacher gestured for her to stand up and she took a deep breath, plastering on a smile. But unlike at the very beginning of the year, her smiles had become real.

"And lastly, before you're all free to have drinks and say your last goodbyes, I'd like to invite Hannah Adem to the stage for the final speech."

From where she stood at the podium on stage, she could see her entire year group along with their families. Through the crowds she spotted her aunt and uncle, seated beside Chris, Lydia and Hannah's two half-siblings. She could see Becky and Carter with their mum, both wearing matching grins and Mohammad leaning back in his chair as though he had all the time in the world. She could make out every face that stared back at her, recognising them from the classes she'd had over the years.

And right there in front of her was Rayne in a perfectly fitting suit, emerald eyes glowing brightly and his hair brushed for a change. His sister Hailey was sitting on his lap with a toothless grin as Skylar sat on the other side beside their mother. He had done brilliantly in all his exams and gotten into medical school – the bloody genius – to pursue his dream of someday becoming a surgeon. He would do it, she knew he would.

The way he was looking at her with an intensity that she could barely look away from, made her forget every word of the speech she had spent the past week preparing. She stuttered slightly, managing a nervous smile before taking a deep breath and speaking straight from her heart.

"First of all, I just want to say a massive congratulations to everyone in here. Well done, everyone, it's over! And I, for one, am so glad that I never have to do another exponential notation or polynomial equation ever again!"

The crowd began to laugh and cheer, hands clapping and proud parents beaming down at their children. The teachers were all seated in the very front, all dressed very formally for a change with gratification painted across each of their faces. Mr Harris was shaking his head at her quip about his maths lessons but even he couldn't help applauding along with everyone else.

"As much as we've always moaned and groaned about school, I have to admit that I've really learnt a lot throughout my years at Pemrose. The usual stuff of course – the ins and outs of organic chemistry, how to analyse Emily Bronte's work, and the complexity of gene technologies – but also, a lot more. I learnt what it meant to grow up and to give yourself the freedom of making your own choices. I learnt what it meant to stand up for yourself and those around you, what true friendship feels like when everything around you feels so false."

As she stood there upon the stage with her lips parted, looking down at the rows of people sitting before her, Hannah realised something important. She didn't need Rayne. She could live without him – after all, hadn't she been doing that her whole life?

She didn't need him but, boy, did she wish she did. He was pure want; one that soaked through her bones until her entire being craved his presence. It wasn't extraordinary heart-wrenching or passionate fireworks she felt whenever she looked at him, it was better. He was comfort and kindness rolled into one package, a true friendship that warmed her from the inside out.

"As most of you know by now, this year has been a complete whirlwind for me. Everything that I thought I was and everything that my life had been at the beginning of the year is completely different today. And though it's been really hard at times, I realised that it's okay to feel lost sometimes when things change. Because if you don't let yourself get lost, how can you ever truly find yourself?"

These few months without Rayne in her life had made her feel hollow, as though something inside her was missing. She had completely severed their connection, pushing him away through no fault of his own, solely because she was ashamed of herself. And in a few months, after the summer holidays, she would be moving out of England. Within no more than twelve weeks, she would be one hundred and seventy-three miles away from the boy she loved.

"But more than anything else, what I've learnt throughout my years here, and especially this year, is who I really am."

Rayne had given her more than she could ever have asked for. He had encouraged her to find out all everything she had spent years wondering about, given her the courage to pursue it. And mostly he had taught her so much about herself; about who she wanted to be. He had taught her it was okay to feel.

Ever since her childhood, Hannah had been programmed to become a machine. The abuse from her mother and grandfather had made her build up walls until all her doubts stopped spilling out, holding herself together. But somehow, Rayne had broken down every one without realising it at all.

She knew she still had work to do on herself but she felt so lucky to have had that opportunity. It hadn't been easy at all; this past year had torn her emotions apart constantly but even with the ups and downs, it had been worth it. After all, without any of the drama, would she have ever realised how much she truly loved him?

"So I wanted to say thank you, to everyone here, for being a part of that realisation for me. Thank you to my family, to my teachers and to my friends for coming along on this journey with me. I know that in a couple of months, we'll move all over the country and possibly the world. Some of us may never see each other again and even though that's pretty disappointing, I guess it's okay because at the very least, we've had these six years together. And it's been more than just good, it's been incredibly memorable!"

The year had been chaotic but she now knew that not everything was black and white. Standing on that stage in that moment, lights shining around her and Rayne beaming up at her with all the love in the world, Hannah realised everything was somewhere in between.

Life was greyscale and so was she.

Everyone around them was cheering and clapping, both at her speech and at the fact that they had finished with school. Hannah climbed down the stage with a skip in her steps, feeling as though with every word fallen from her lips, she'd released a little tension from her shoulders. And for the first time since the day she had danced with Rayne on a train platform and kissed him with a butterfly in her hair, she felt the sweet taste of freedom. She could remember the many times at the beginning of the year where she had begged her strength to hold herself together for a little longer, that one day this would all be over and she could leave their stuck-up-the-ass community full of gossip and lead a life that was not a façade. And now, here she was, doing just that.

Rayne stood from his seat and pushed past people whose faces he barely saw until he was standing right in front of her, with an urgency he couldn't shake. He knew that soon she'd be moving miles and miles away from him and the thought made him feel sick. Somehow, he couldn't imagine living a life without her anymore.

Hannah stopped in front of him, her form blocking the sunlight from the open door until she was lit up in gold – an angel amongst humans. Her hair swished behind her head like a halo as her eyes bore into his; cinnamon meeting jade. And even though she hadn't spoken to him in months or replied to any of his voicemails, he had no anger towards her at all. He understood, he had always understood her.

She was more nervous than she had ever been in her entire life but somehow, at the same time Hannah felt a calmness shift through her. This was right; everything about them felt right. If she believed in soulmates than he would be hers, no doubt about it. With a shaky hand she raised her phone and dialled a number, grinning at his confusion when his phone buzzed in his hand and he received the incoming voicemail.

"I wish I could speak better," she whispered, into her phone but looking straight at him. "I wish I had more words to really explain how I feel because there's so much feeling inside me, it's bursting to get out. But I don't have fancy words. I don't have anything to say other than to let you know how much I love you."

Rayne held his phone up against his ear, listening to the words both from her lips and from the speaker of his phone. He tried to recall the first time he met Hannah Adem in his mind, memories flitting, but he couldn't. She had always been there, a part of school that he barely noticed until the day he had no choice. He remembered how grudgingly he had worked with her on that English project so long ago, how much he didn't want to know her at all. And now, all these months later with so many experiences later, all he could think about was how her eyes were so bright they could light up city skylines. Every time he looked at her, he could see the sun and every time he laughed with her, he could feel its glow and every time he touched her, he could feel every flame and ugh, God, she was just perfect.

He smiled at her then, finally unfreezing and the next thing either of them know, their arms were around each other and they were holding on like they'd never let go. Rayne pressed his mouth against hers in reply to her message, kissing her like her lips were the air and he was drowning, desperate to breathe.

Their limbs were intertwined and neither of them seemed to know which parts were their own, lips moving as though they were connected to the same mind. Everything around them had been blurred away until the two of them were suspended in time with nothing but each other.

When Rayne pulled away, his head was spinning. "It's great to have you back, Hannah," he whispered as she only laughed in response, head thrown back in pure joy. No feeling in the world would ever be comparable to this, wrapped up in her arms with Hannah smiling at him as though he hand-picked the stars to drop in the night sky. "You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me."

Hannah knew that very soon they would be miles apart and as much as they promised each other they would talk every day, eventually life would get in the way. But that was okay because for now, there was nowhere else she'd rather be than here. How lucky she was!

He was hers and she was in love.

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A/N: THIS IS THE END!!! I honestly can't believe it's over, I'll write the epilogue now and then it's time to say bye to my babies:')