CHAPTER FIVE

"You're such an ass Cammie," Hannah said, rolling her eyes at her cousin sprawled on the sofa opposite hers. It was Saturday evening and for a change, neither of them had any plans. Hannah had been looking forward to spending some time with her cousin without anyone else around her. As much as she insulted him and acted like he annoyed her, she loved just sitting and talking to him for long periods of time. If there was one person on the planet she couldn't live without, it was definitely the idiot sitting there. He was the only one that truly knew her, who understood everything about her.

But instead of talking to her like she'd expected, he had been grinning at his phone non-stop for the past hour or so, hardly paying any attention to his cousin. Once Cameron heard her call him Cammie he looked up for a fraction of a minute and glared, his mouth betraying him as he tried not to smile. It had been about a decade since she'd last called him that and it bought back memories from when they were young.

"My ass is hot," Cameron answered, standing up to stretch as he did so. Hannah snorted in reply and rolled her eyes at him. She'd been bugging him for ages but he still hadn't told her who he was texting. It had to be someone important though! He kept smiling every time he replied to these mysterious text messages and she could have sworn he had giggled at one point.

Giggled!

It sounded preposterous to even think that her big, burly, bad-ass cousin would do something as girlish as giggle but it had definitely happened. And he still wouldn't tell her who he was texting!

"Later!" he murmured, not even moving his gaze from his phone to look at her. "I'll tell you later, it might not even work out innit so I don't wanna jinx it or anything y'know."

She understood his point – after all, he had never managed to keep a girlfriend longer than a few days – but was frustrated at him for keeping it a secret all the same. The curiosity was too much. Perhaps it was Catherine, they had been spending some time together after all. Or maybe it was a new girl from the last party they went to – someone who could make a difference in his life.

Before she could think of a way to get it out of him however, the letterbox clanged loudly and Hannah leapt up in hope that it was another buy one get one free coupon for Papa Johns pizza. She was having major withdrawal symptoms from their garlic butter sauce and Cameron owed her a pizza. To her utter disappointment, it was just a boring flyer for an auto-repair garage but before she turned back towards the living room, she saw a flash of colour streak past through the glass.

Opening the door to get a better look, Hannah scrunched her eyebrows in confusion before she realised what it was. A small smile tugged on the corners of her lips as she leaned against the doorframe, her heart warming as she looked at the scene in front of her. Her neighbours' kids were running around chasing each other, loud joyful laughs bursting out of their little bodies as they leaped along the pavement.

The younger of the two – little Matthew – was clutching onto his beloved pale blue teddy bear for dear life as his sister threatened him with the cushion she was waving in the air.

"Come back here you rat!" Annalise yelled, ignoring her mum who was standing on their porch with her hands on her hips sternly.

"Heeeeelp Hannah!" Matthew called out in desperation as he caught sight of her. Hannah chuckled at him and waved at Mrs Woods with a smile. The children's older sister Kalila was a friend of hers – probably one of the only true friends she had and she'd babysat for the two younger children before. Their interactions never failed to remind her of her relationship with Cameron when they were young; despite the constant arguing and regular insults, the children were as close as two siblings could be.

Mrs Woods gave up on trying to get her kids inside and walked across the grass separating the two gardens. "Hello Hannah!" she said with a warm smile, straightening out the suit she was wearing. They exchanged small talk for a while before temporarily pausing when they heart a loud yelp from Matthew who was sprawled on the grass.

Annalise stopped her taunting when she realised she had hurt her little brother and a guilty expression adorned her face. She dropped the fluffy cushion on the pavement and ran to help him up. "Sorry Matty!" she mumbled.

Hannah ignored the small ache in her chest as their mother looked at them lovingly and instead focused on the perfectly ironed navy business suit Mrs Woods was wearing. "Would you like me to keep an eye on them until Kalila comes so you can go to work?" she asked politely, grinning as the older woman beamed at her and thanked her profously.

Instead of plonking them in front of the TV like she knew most babysitters would, she made her way to the kitchen, pulling the children along with her. Having exhausted themselves from their little play-argument outside, the two of them were panting heavily and rushed to gulp down some apple juice.

"Are you guys hungry?" she asked, although it was more for her own benefit. She hadn't eaten anything for lunch yet and it was almost 5 o'clock. When they nodded enthusiastically, she made her way to the fridge and peered inside. She wasn't the greatest at cooking but how hard could following a recipe from Pinterest be?

Apparently very hard, as she soon figured out from the burnt smell hovering in the air.

Annalise paused from the cheese she was violently grating and sniggered. "I thought it said roasted red pepper pasta not charcoal red pepper!"

Hannah groaned – she'd really been looking forward to having some pasta. She didn't know quite what was up with her and all the carb cravings recently and if she didn't know any better, she would have thought she was pregnant. 'Fat chance!' she thought, mentally facepalming herself at how ridiculous she was being. She was the world's biggest virgin despite the multiple guys constantly fluttering around her irritatingly, like moths to a lamp. Not that anyone knew that embarrassing detail of course – Ash would probably have heart failure if she so much as hinted at it. She was eighteen for Gods sake!

With a slight blush, she pushed the thoughts of her non existent sex life out of her mind when she remembered she was in the company of a seven and twelve year old – both of whom were still hungry.

She threw the blackened peppers in the bin and tried to salvage the sauce bubbling on the stove. "Open the windows please Matty," she called out as he scrambled on the gleaming surface to get rid of the burning smell still lingering in the air. Prodding the vegetables she had sneakily added when they weren't looking, Hannah frowned when she thought of her failed cooking attempt.

It wasn't fair – her entire family was brilliant at cooking without any effort. Uncle Jay was a chef in an incredibly posh Indian restaurant in Devon, Auntie Sara made the best cookies on the planet, Cameron could make some basics and even her mum would cook for herself as far as Hannah could remember. So why was she the only one terrible at making food in her family?

A small voice in the back of her mind reminded her that all the names she'd just listed were her mums' family; she knew nothing about her dad. Perhaps he was a pro at burning even the most fool-proof recipes as well? After all she didn't know a thing about him; she didn't even know who he was.

As a child she would dream of her dad taking her away from the stark emptiness of her life – a blur where his face was supposed to be. He was strong and brave and funny and kind and most of all loving. Every time the loneliness crept up on her, she dreamed he would come and save the day. He was her hero – even if she didn't know a thing about him. She didn't even know his name or which country he was from and that was pathetic; half of her race was a giant question mark. Her much lighter skin was proof of that but her guesswork wasn't enough and she didn't dare to ask her mother about the dad she wasn't supposed to think about.

But now she was older she knew the truth – he was probably just some deadbeat guy that had gotten her mum pregnant and ran off as soon as possible. She had no idea if her conception – shudder – was the result of a one-night stand or a high school sweetheart. It didn't matter either way though, he didn't want to be part of her life and that was that.

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"Done!" Annalise exclaimed, sounding awfully proud of herself for spraying air freshener across the kitchen. The three of them had finished eating and were chattering about school when they heard the front door begin to open. Knowing perfectly well it was her older sister, the pre-teen had scrambled around and sprayed it in the air in hope the burning smell had vanished and her favourite babysitter wouldn't get in trouble.

"Oh hiya Hannah!" Kalila beamed although it was clear she was tired. She worked in an ice-skating rink and although she loved it, it often exhausted her. The two girls hugged and began small talk, Hannah standing up to stretch in preparation to go back to her own house next door. Trying to avoid answering a question Matthew had asked which she didn't know the answer to – "but why is water wet?" – Hannah ruffled his hair and said her goodbye, pulling down her coral cardigan.

At the spur of the moment, she remembered something and turned around before leaving. "Hey Kalila, there's a party next week and I know it's not really your scene usually but, uhm, it would be great if you could come. It would be nice to have, like, a real friend there instead of a bunch of fakes y'know."

Kalila scrunched her forehead in thought. Pushing her hair away from where it had fallen in front of her dark eyes, she nodded. "I'll think about it, I haven't been to one in a while so yeah, maybe."

Hannah grinned. "Okay, I'll text you. Bye!" she called out as she shut their front door and jumped over the wall separating the two houses in order to go interrogate her cousin some more.