CHAPTER ONE

"Do I have to?" Hannah grumbled to her best friend over the phone while pacing around her bedroom. She realised just a minute too late that this probably wasn't the smartest thing to do as Ashlyn started shrieking through her iPhone. She managed to make out the words 'social suicide' and 'everyone being there' before she gave up trying to pay attention and allowed her mind to wander.

"Having second thoughts?"

She could practically hear the smirk in her cousins' voice without even turning around. Rolling her eyes, Hannah cut the phone off mid-ramble and proceeded to throw it at Cameron's head in exasperation. He caught it without a heartbeat of hesitation, still with that annoying smirk plastered on.

'Damn that boy is suave, no wonder all the girls at school are in love with him,' she thought before realising he had asked her a question. Not bothering to answer, she just raked her fingers through her hair in annoyance.

Cameron gestured to his face in mock anger, being a complete drama queen as usual. "Shouldn't you be deciding what to wear to Matts place instead of attempting to ruin this beautiful masterpiece?"

Hannah raised her left eyebrow, ignoring his pouting and continued surveying the contents of her wardrobe critically. As much as she loved her idiot of a cousin, she had much more pressing matters to attend to. What to wear to this party she was being dragged to, for example.

"Pink or gold?" She asked him, pointedly holding up the first two dresses that caught her eye. She couldn't really be bothered looking properly; this back to school party just wasn't worth it. She didn't want to go to it in the first place but didn't have much of a choice.

Cam turned around from the mirror he had been busy admiring himself in to inspect the two items of clothing. "Ew not the pink. The gold one will complement your skin more, plus the neckline is perfect for this season."

Hannah sniggered, wondering how the biggest ladies' man she knew managed to sound like a gay fashion designer half the time. 'How does one guy even get that many girls?' she wondered to herself before snorting at her train of thought. She knew perfectly well it was because of his looks. With smooth terracotta-like skin and soulful eyes half hidden behind those thick, raven locks that would put any girl to shame, there was no doubt that her cousin was the most attractive person she knew. Along with his naturally charismatic personality, he was a recipe for disaster amongst women.

She hated that thought though; adamant on the knowledge that looks alone shouldn't get anyone anymore. He was a complete asshole when it came to all the girls he went through at a ridiculously alarming rate; hiding his true self behind walls of indifference everyday. Nobody really knew how fiercely loyal and sweet he truly was and she couldn't imagine anyone ever finding out. 'Not that I can talk though,' she thought with a sigh. 'We all put on the facade of not caring about anything at school. It's just what's expected.'

Her phone buzzed loudly, jolting her out of her daydream with a text from her boyfriend Gabriel asking where they were. Shit. Frowning at the time, Hannah got dressed in record timing and lightly brushed her makeup on. Managing to spot a small glittery shoulder bag from under her bed, she grabbed it and ran out of the room to find Cameron lying face down on their dining table. Without waiting for an explanation for his weird antics, she grabbed him by the ear and ran out of the house, cursing under her breath as she stumbled in the too high heels she had slipped on.

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Hannah could feel it before they even got out of the car: the thumping music was a steady hum beneath her feet. Cameron tilted his head slightly, silently asking if she was sure about this. He knew how much his cousin hated attention and there was no doubt about it; all eyes would be on them today since she'd made excuses all summer.

Hannah sighed and unbuckled her seatbelt. It was the first party of the school year and pretty much everyone was here, she had an image to uphold regardless of how much she hated it. "Let's just get this over with," she muttered, taking a deep breath. Cameron nodded and they got out of the car, his concerned look quickly disappearing behind the usual smirk.

Hannah stared up at the chaos ahead of her critically. No matter how many years she had been 'popular' in school, she never had gotten used to the crazy parties and although she had barely walked in, she was already planning her escape. There were groups of people hanging around the place, talking and laughing while lounging on the mahogany staircase. The music was even louder indoors, the marble floor allowing the vibrations to rush through her body like an adrenaline rush.

They glided through the hoards of people in search of Ashlyn, calling out hellos to everyone that stopped to talk to them on their way to the kitchen. The gleaming white countertops were littered with plastic cups and half-empty cans piled in random corners.

"Haaaaaannah babes!" her best friends voice called out. Ashlyn and a few others came bustling towards them; her high heels clattering noisily on the tiled floor. Although she still looked as put together as usual, her skin was no longer powdered perfectly and her smile slightly too wide to be sober.

Her grin widened when she reached them, pulling them both close for a wobbly hug. "You're finally here! Have a drink!" she giggled, practically shoving a bottle towards them, pouting when Hannah politely declined.

The tall blonde boy behind her – Matt wasn't it? – grabbed the bottle from Ash and took a swig of it, almost downing it all. "You're having a good time, aren't you?" he asked nervously, as though seeking their approval for his party. Cameron snorted a little at that, knowing perfectly well that his cousin couldn't care less about the bloody party. Hannah jabbed him in the stomach with her elbow pointedly, rolling her eyes at his rudeness and assured the poor boy. "Of course!" she exclaimed with a false smile. "It looks great so far."

She had no idea how true that statement was though, not having ventured any further than the kitchen they were in. Judging by the laughing and talking she could make out over the loud music, it seemed as though everyone else was enjoying themselves.

Ashlyn must have had the same idea as she giggled coyly at Matt and dragged him towards the makeshift dance floor. "C'mon babe!" she purred, throwing a wink at Hannah and Cameron standing awkwardly against the door.

Hannah leaned against her cousin and took deep breaths to calm herself, thankful for the familiar smell of detergent on his clothes compared to the sweat and alcohol lingering in the air. He laughed quietly and squeezed her hand in a reassuring manner, before shrugging her off and gesturing towards the dancing. "Ready?" he asked.

Using one hand to shakily push her hair out of her eyes, Hannah gave him a half-hearted smile and pushed him forwards. Within microseconds, swaying hips and girls batting their false eyelashes surrounded him and she lost sight of him in a sea of sweaty bodies.

Wrinkling her nose in disgust, Hannah took a deep breath and headed upstairs, trying to avoid being stopped and spoken to by people she barely knew. They all knew her though – that was the problem. She pushed her way through the passed out drunks and making-out couples until she reached one of the many bathrooms, which thankfully wasn't occupied.

"Just a little longer Hannah, then you can make your excuses and leave," she muttered to her reflection, leaning her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. She redid her makeup a little, ran her fingers through her dark hair and smiled at herself; nobody would be able to tell she had been freaking out in here.

She walked out, ready to head back and find her friends when a hand roughly pulled her back. Startled, she turned around in alarm until she realised it was just Gabriel guiding her towards an empty room. She greeted him warmly, having missed his presence during the holidays and allowed him to pull her along.

"You need to get away from it all?" she asked him, knowing perfectly well that it wasn't likely as her boyfriend always had loved parties. Hannah was the only one from her group of friends that didn't see the attraction. Not that she could voice that out loud though of course, Ashlyn would probably murder her on the spot – that girl was obsessed with attention.

The large amount of alcohol Gabriel had consumed was evident in the way he was staggering and he laughed loudly, pulling his girlfriend close. Hannah curled her arms around his head, tugging on the waves of his golden hair slightly. He leant in to kiss her and before she could react, she felt the silk duvet of the huge bed beneath her back. He pushed himself down, deepening the kiss as his hands started sliding under her golden dress.

It was only as his fingers eagerly brushed against the lace of her bra that Hannah came to her senses and disentangled herself from him. He may have been her boyfriend but it had only been a few months since they started officially dating and she wasn't ready for this at all. He growled, evidently annoyed that she pulled away. The lust clouding his sky blue eyes made her shiver and she scrambled of the bed and out of the door before he could pull her into another kiss.

'Screw this,' she thought, pushing her way past the crowds of people towards the front door, some who waved and called out her name eagerly. 'Ash can't say I didn't come, my job here is done,' she thought.

The fresh air outside was freezing but it felt so good against her flushed cheeks and Hannah was thankful that most people had gone inside by now. Despite the fact that she was one of the most popular girls in school, there was nothing she preferred more than being alone.

She looked around to make sure nobody was watching and pulled off the five inch glittery heels, sighing in pleasure of not wearing them anymore. She always was prepared to make a quick escape from parties and kept a spare pair of sandals in her bag at all times. Slipping them onto her aching feet, she began running home.

As a young child, before they moved to London, she used to run along the beach near her aunt and uncles house. There was something almost enchanting about feeling the wind against her shoulders and her hair flying behind. Something wonderful about smelling the salt of the ocean in the air and her steps sinking into the sand beneath her feet. Although that was years ago, she still ran often to clear her head.

She ran under the lamp-posts, the lights bouncing off the sequins on her dress, her hair wild and untamed in the air. All her problems took a back seat as she ran, until all she could feel was her heartbeat echoing and her breathing heavy. Thankfully it wasn't too dark out and Matt's house – or palace as Cameron correctly referred to it – wasn't that far from hers.

As she pushed open her bedroom door to change out of the dress, Hannah thought about how weird she was. Every other teenager was drinking and dancing like crazy, free from any inhibitions at the best party of the year other than her. She was one of the most popular girls in school and yet she would rather be home, in her pyjamas, eating and watching movie trailers on YouTube alone.

'And I'm glad I'm like this,' she thought with a smile, shoving another spoon of Haagen-Daaz's Strawberry Cheesecake ice-cream in her mouth.

A/N: hannah's outfit on the right side in the external link c: