My whole body ached.

My eyelids felt heavy as they slowly fluttered open, exposing me to the bright sunlight that poked through the trees.

I let out a groan, trying to prop myself up on the hard, sharp rocks underneath me. I rubbed the back of my head, wishing the pounding ache would disappear.

My clothes clung heavily to me from the water, and as I glanced around I realised I'd floated down the stream. "Anya?" I called out, getting no response. I must have ended up in a completely different place to her, or Clarke – if she'd jumped – which she likely did.

I pulled myself up, stumbling weakly on my feet slightly. I shrugged off my jacket, which immediately lifted a lot of weight. I took the material of my shirt in my hands and twisted it, letting any excess water dribble to the floor.

My only choice now was to walk and try to find shelter – so that's what I did. I smiled at the warm feeling of the glowing sunlight on my skin, and the smell of fresh nature around me as I breathed in deeply. The outdoors was my home.

But walking alone was strange.

It felt as if I was meant to have Clarke alongside me; I was supposed to be watching in amusement as she frowned down at a map in front of her – like on our first day on Earth.

Or Bellamy, whose hikes were usually in search of something. I'd have given anything to have him walking a little bit ahead of me, as I jogged to catch up with his long strides. But he was gone. And for all I knew, so was Clarke.

I wondered what happened to Octavia and Lincoln. I wondered if Raven was even still alive. Was she still at the dropship?

Would I be alone out here forever?

The sun began to set after a while, and I began to realise that I didn't know what the hell I was doing, or where on earth I was going. After a while, I stopped to get a rest, sitting down with my back against a tree, giving relief to my aching body.

My jumbled thoughts were overwhelming me, and I had to take a moment to try and hold myself together. I was scared. Worried. Thirsty. Exhausted. Hungry. Defeated.

I must have been sat thinking for longer than I thought, because the sky above began to darken. I didn't particularly want to be too lost alone at night, so decided to push through the pain a little longer to try and find some shelter.

~

I wanted to give up.

I really did.

My throat felt like sandpaper, and my eyelids were drooping, tiredness overcoming me completely. My body begged and pleaded to rest again, but I caught sight of a light through the trees. Shelter.

A burst of hopeful energy sparked within me and I rushed forwards, ignoring any previous aches and pains my body had. Someone had to be there. Anyone.

I came to a halt, my breath hitching in my throat. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I recognised the familiarity of the building. The Ark was on the ground.

"Hey!" I screamed out, my voice broken and hoarse from the lack of hydration. But I couldn't care less – I was just overjoyed that I wasn't the only one out here. "Hey!" I cried out again as I approached the fence, waving my hands about to attract attention. My people were here. This was my home.

I noticed as a woman in a guard's uniform looked up, training her gun on me immediately. My foot caught in some brambles and I stumbled slightly, the tiredness and fatigue suddenly overtaking me. "Hey–"

The world around me began to spin, and I felt myself falling to the ground, everything growing hazy around me.

But I'd made it.

~

When I opened my eyes again, I was met with a rather concerned face, which I immediately recognised. Relief flooded through my body, a smile twitching on my face despite any previous feelings I had towards the woman.

"Abby," I breathed out.

"How are you feeling?"

"Drained," I responded, wincing at how much my throat hurt to speak. I leaned on my elbows, beginning to prop myself up until an aching pain shot through my arms, making me wince.

Abby quickly reached over to a makeshift table, picking up a glass of water in her hands. "You must be seriously dehydrated, you've been through a lot."

I took it gratefully, taking slow sips at first, but I soon found myself joyfully chugging it back. "Abby–" I started, my mind suddenly thinking back to when the exodus ship came down and crashed. Clarke and I had thought we'd both lost our mothers. But Abby was still here. "I thought you were dead," I rushed out. "And my– my mom?"

Abby grinned, giving me a small nod, her gesture filling so much hope within me. "I'll go get her."

I choked out a sigh of relief, tears springing to my eyes. I was going to see her, I was finally going to see my mom. After all this time thinking she was gone, she wasn't. She was still here.

A mixture of nerves and excitement caused my stomach to churn, and I found myself anxiously fiddling with my hands in my lap for a while. My eyes scanned the room, where I spotted some clothes set out beside the bed. I slowly reached for them, taking it easy as I used my aching limbs to pull them on.

When I sat down again, I could feel my heart pounding heavily as I waited for her to step through the curtain. And soon she did, her bright blue eyes glistening with tears.

My mom immediately rushed forwards and engulfed me in a hug. I felt her body shaking with sobs, causing the built up tears to spill from my own eyes.

It all felt like a dream, a really, really good dream. I hadn't lost both of my parents, I wasn't alone. I finally had another chance with my mom. This was real.

After being in each other's arms for what felt like forever, she pulled away from me, cupping my face with her hands. "Sweetheart, you've grown so much," she commented as silent tears rolled softly down her cheeks.

I closed my eyes shut, letting out a shaky breath. "Mom–" I started, unable to quite find the words. "Mom, I thought– I thought I was never gonna see you again."

She pulled me into another warm embrace as I began to cry into her arms, everything I'd been feeling, all the pent up emotions, all began flowing from me. I moved away from her again, wiping under my eyes. I let out a breathy laugh, knowing that things were finally closer to being okay again than they were before. 

She began stroking my hair comfortingly, something I remembered she used to do when I was a kid. When I was younger, I used to struggle sleeping at night. And every time I did, she would climb into bed with me and her fingers would softly stroke through my hair until I relaxed enough to fall asleep. "Darling, when Clarke said that–"

I practically shot up from the bed, my heart jumping in my chest after hearing my best friend's name. "Clarke? Clarke's here?"

"She doesn't know you're here," mom said quickly in an effort to get me to slow down, causing me to frown slightly. "Only me, Abby and the guard from last night know."

"What? Why?"

"Sweetie, when you came in here last night, you were–" she cut off slightly, seeming to think through her word choices. "We thought you weren't gonna make it for a while. It was late, really late, so we wouldn't have been able to tell them until morning anyway. But–"

"Them?" I asked, hope suddenly flaring inside me. By them did she mean the others? Raven? Octavia? Even...even Bellamy?

"Your friends," she eventually confirmed, her eyebrows drawing together for a moment. "Raven Reyes, Bellamy and Octavia Blake-"

Before she could even finish, I was already out of bed and darting through the curtain, where Abby was stood nearby, looking through medical supplies. "Billie–" she started, as I almost stumbled from being caught in the curtain material. "Billie, woah, slow down."

"Clarke," I blurted, sucking in a deep breath after moving so quickly. "Bellamy. Where–"

"Billie?" I spun around, seeing a flash of familiar blonde hair turning the corner. "Oh my god," Clarke breathed out in disbelief, practically crushing me with a hug. "I thought you–"

"Yeah, me too," I replied with a small laugh, gripping her arms tightly, not ever wanting to let go of my best friend again. "Where's Anya?

"She– uh– when we got here, there was some trouble. Anya was shot." My smile faltered. "Billie, I would have looked for you but, well, we had a bit of a struggle and–" she cut off all of a sudden, her eyes widening. "Oh no."

"What?"

Instead of answering my question, Clarke grabbed my hand and headed past her mom, despite Abby's best efforts to try and stop her. I glanced down at my bare feet, cringing a little as Clarke began pulling me outside and over the rough ground. "Raven!" She shouted, practically dragging me as I started to slow down in shock at the difference in my friend. She had a cane in her hand, and a brace on the bottom of her leg, but she still grinned brightly when she noticed me. I knew she must have been through so much whilst I was gone, and I couldn't help but admire how tough she was.

"Billie? Oh my god!" She exclaimed, pulling me into a quick hug.

"Where are Bellamy and Octavia?" Clarke questioned, and I pulled away from Raven to see my best friend frantically glancing around. "I swear to god if they've–"

"They're somewhere over there," Raven said, turning and pointing her finger in a direction behind her, although there was no way I could possibly see the two siblings in the loitering crowds of people. "You just got here in time actually, they were thinking of going without you."

"Going where?" I questioned, rising on my tiptoes to try and spot them both.

"To look for you," Clarke replied, with what looked like a grin pulling at her lips. "I'll get them."

"Billie!" I heard my mother's voice coming from behind me, whilst I watched Clarke head off to find Bellamy and Octavia.

I groaned and Raven pulled a face, seeming slightly amused by my situation. "Looks like protective mom mode has unleashed."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her comment as my mom came to a stop in front of the two of us, Abby beside her. "Thank god," she breathed out. "You can't just run off like that? I thought–"

"Here they come," I heard Raven say and I whipped my head back around, watching as Clarke and a slightly confused Bellamy and Octavia came into view.

"Billie." I heard my mother say, but her words merely faded into background noise. "Billie, would you–"

I held my hand up, not realising I'd been holding my breath. "Not now, mom." I stepped forwards, tears welling up in my eyes again for some reason as an overjoyed grin broke out on my face.

It took me a moment to realise that I'd actually begun running until the wind whipped at my hair. Bellamy and Octavia stood watching me with shocked, wide eyes, and looks of disbelief on their faces.

I crashed into Bellamy's arms first, wrapping my arms around him tightly. Pretty much the second I collided with him, his own strong arms wrapped around me, whilst I pressed my head into his chest.

I craned my head back slightly, smiling up at him, our eyes meeting, both holding our gazes. All of a sudden, he released his arms from me, and I realised how long we'd been in each other's embrace, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed.

Octavia had a smug grin on her face as she pulled me into a hug too. "Now, that's something I've been waiting for," she commented.

"I'm glad you're okay," I smiled, knowing my cheeks had probably gone slightly pink.

"You too, Billie."

I glanced back at Bellamy again, who was still staring at me in slight shock. "We were going to–" he cut off, shaking his head, his messy curls bouncing. "I mean–"

I bit my lip, trying to stifle a laugh. Bellamy seemed speechless, and it was really quite amusing. I noticed Octavia and Clarke share grins before both moving to the side to speak to Raven, who'd just headed over.

"It's good to see you, Bell," I told him, unable to stop the smile curling on my face. Aside from a long cut on the side of his cheek, and many smears of blood and grime, he was still the same Bellamy Blake. Warm, deep, brown eyes, freckles and curly hair.

"You too, dimples." A smirk pulled at his lips as I quirked my eyebrows at his new nickname.

"Dimples?"

"Just something I came up with whilst you were gone," he shrugged nonchalantly and I nodded along, biting my bottom lip to stop a grin breaking out on my face. The fact that he had actually been thinking about me whilst I wasn't around was enough to make my heart flutter.

"So you missed me then?" I teased, playing it cool as I crossed my arms over my chest, my eyebrows still raised.

"Well, you obviously missed me," he teased back, causing me to scoff, rolling my eyes as if I couldn't care less – which, secretly, was far from the truth.

"Sure thing, hotshot."

He arched his eyebrows, laughing slightly, a smug look forming on his face. "Hotshot?"

I shrugged, mimicking his indifferent actions from before – although I kind of actually wanted to die inside for coming up with such a cringy nickname. "Just something I thought of whilst you were gone."

"I hate to be the one to break this up," Clarke said from behind me, as I turned away from Bellamy to look at her, my smile fading. "But we have to do something about Finn."

"Oh my god, Finn," I blurted, absolutely hating myself for forgetting about him. "Where is he?"

"Still looking for you and Clarke," Bellamy replied, a darker expression hardening on his face, a look that soon became unreadable. I had a feeling that something went down, but didn't want to push it.

"So what's the plan?"

~

"You can't just cut them loose," Clarke protested to her mom, Bellamy and I exchanging a look as we hung back slightly.

Apparently, Finn, Bellamy and Murphy had gone looking for Clarke and I, thinking that the Grounders had took us. Finn and Murphy had stayed out to search whilst Bellamy brought back a girl that they'd found injured. Him, Octavia and Clarke had been planning to go back out there to look for both of them, and also me, until I turned up.

"Sweetheart, we don't have the manpower to send out two separate rescue missions and protect our camp," Abby said, causing Bellamy to sigh in annoyance. I watched as he began to pace backwards and forwards, and I myself also began to grow frustrated.

"Mom," Clarke snapped. "They're in trouble. They're either gonna get themselves killed or they're gonna make things worse with the Grounders, who we need to get our people out of Mount Weather."

"I know you feel this is unfair. But our priority has to be with chancellor Kane if there is any hope for peace," Abby replied, causing me to step towards her.

"If you wanted peace, you shouldn't have killed the only Grounder who was gonna help us," I said, my words a little harsher than I'd intended. I guess I was still annoyed at Anya's death, especially after Clarke had informed me they were going to work together.

"Billie," my mom cautioned as Bellamy stopped beside me. 

"I'm sorry," Abby said, glancing at Clarke, and then at Bellamy and I. "The decision's been made."

"You're sorry?" Bellamy reiterated, folding his arms over his chest. "Finn and Murphy are out there looking for your daughter with guns you gave us, and now she's home, you're just going to abandon them?"

"We're not abandoning them–" my mom cut in, causing me to groan in frustration.

"Yes you are," I bit back, seeming to startle her slightly. "That's exactly what you're doing. I agree with Bellamy. You can't just expect them to go risking their lives for Clarke and I but forget all about them as soon as we're safe."

Sure, I didn't get along with Murphy. Actually, that was an understatement – I hated Murphy. And Finn and I, we weren't that close either. But the both of them still risked their lives for me. I owed them and I couldn't just do nothing knowing that they were in danger.

"If you can't spare the guards, we know the terrain, we have a map. We can do it ourselves," Bellamy added on, and I nodded in agreement, fully willing to participate.

"Absolutely not," Abby dismissed immediately.

"Mom–" Clarke started, clearly not satisfied by any of her decisions.

"I just got you back!" Abby cried out, the three of us falling silent at her words. I glanced to my mom, knowing she likely felt the same. Even if I could slightly understand more where both of them were coming from, I still wasn't going to let this go. And I knew Clarke and Bellamy weren't going to either.

"Abby!" A man shouted, running into the room, but quickly pausing when he seemed to sense the tension. "I'm sorry. We need you in medical."

"You better go," Clarke said curtly, her mom reluctantly doing so, shooting us all looks that I couldn't quite read. "Byrne?" She called out to who I presumed to be the head guard. "No one leaves this camp."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Mom–" I started, turning towards her with a pleading look once Abby had gone.

"I don't want you going anywhere," she said, only irritating me further. "And it's Abby's call. You're staying here. All of you."

She left without another word, the three of us watching after her for a few moments, until Clarke turned around to face us both.

"We're gonna need guns."

~

"I scored you a couple extra clips," Raven informed as I ducked down behind a large part of the Ark. She tossed a duffle bag to the ground at Bellamy's feet.

Clarke made her way over, a bag also in her hand. "Hey. My mom's in surgery and the team going after Kane just left," she informed as I glanced behind to see if anyone had seen her. "We should too."

"Did you find Octavia?" Bellamy asked her.

"No," I heard Octavia say. "I found you." I turned around to see her stepping towards us, a sword slung over her shoulder. "I'm not letting you leave here without me."

"Octavia–"

"Finn and Murphy are headed for Lincoln's village. I've been there. Have you?" She pointed at Clarke. "Has she?"

"You done?" Bellamy reached down, grabbing a bag from the ground and handing it to her.

She grabbed it, seeming slightly confused. "What's this?"

"Your pack," he informed with a small smile, much to my surprise and probably Octavia's too. "Lead the way."

Satisfied, Octavia slung the bag over her shoulder, heading towards the wired fence until Raven stuck her cane out, stopping her.

"Whoa. Not so fast, Pocahontas," she said, making Octavia to take a step backwards. Raven pressed her cane against the wire, causing electricity to spark with a loud, crackling noise. 

"I thought you said it was handled?"

"It is," Raven replied, grabbing her walkie-talkie. "Shut her down, Wick." After waiting a few moments, she pressed the cane against the wire again. Nothing happening. "Handled."

Octavia tossed her bag through the fence, climbing through after it. I followed, Bellamy and Clarke behind me.

The four of us headed down to the trees as quickly and quietly as we could, ducking out of sight, all determined to find Finn and Murphy.

↠

A/N

Asdhfklf this took forever to write...mostly because I wanted the scene where Bellamy and Billie reunited to be perfect.

I feel like this chapter gave you more insight into Billie's thoughts and feelings idk?? But I'm really excited for the otp™ relationship to progress. The next few chapters are going to be v important for that #supertease

Hope you enjoyed ✌🏽️