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GOLD RUSH ✹ TWO
(JESUS STELLS- )

IT WAS FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON IN LONDON. But it was eight in the morning in New York, as I pulled myself out of bed after a long sleepless night, the party was weird. A awkward tension that fixated between everyone — so I stuck beside an equally as confused Olivia until my mum decided to call it a night and permitted us to go home.

I sit in the kitchen half asleep in my bowl of yoghurt as Sloan continues to pester me with questions about my travels that it was too early to even let my brain comprehend an answer to.

Sloan hasn't spent a year in a different time period, it's obvious she doesn't know how it feels to be awake at a time you're so use to being asleep at . So the grunts she gives me as I tell her to shut up (lovingly) for the eleventh time this morning are not justified.

Our mother fawns over us, professing how much she adores having her children in the same house again. I mention our older brother James who is currently helping our dad move back into his new townhouse a block or two away, she disregards me and hums a

'oh you know what I mean'.

I hate uniforms, at least back here I'm not stuck in them for the majority of the day and I can style them how I like — hence why my knitted jumper is tied and the arms wrap around my shoulders and fall onto my chest, almost like a superhero's cape and why half of my white shirt is untucked and falling over the material of my pleated skirt. It's why I actually looked good for once.

Sloan is still dressed as the school expects us to, but I can see small changes that are most likely influenced by either me or my mom in her outfit. Her blazer is decorated with small pearls over the edges. Her shoes are shiny new Prada Mary janes. She looks like a miniature me, and I can't help but smile when I notice it.

When the times comes that the car that picks us up for school arrives. I quickly swill my mouth out with mouthwash and touch up my makeup, Sloan waits impatiently at the end of the corridor.

" hurry up, we'll be late!" she beckons me with that whiny voice of hers when it comes down to being on time.

I grab my bag and feel the heels of my shoes click on the wooden floorings of the ground floor of the house " coming, I'm coming!"

" bye mom!" I call out, knowing she is most likely still getting ready for work. I let Sloan out in front of me, closing the door before the dreaded words leave her mouth before I even turn around.

" oh hey Nate." I despise how much my sister adores the ground Nate Archibald walks on even before I left ( however back then it was endearing) — it now makes the whole ignoring his existence thing so much more difficult.

I turn around and there he is. leant against the bannister to the house, holding a coffee cup and a paper baggy from a bakery that I love ( And he knows that). This was traditional once, he'd appear out of thin air each morning on my doorstep with a oat milk latte and some sort of pastry. I'd joke if he were trying to fatten me up and he'd just kiss the top of my head in reply before we'd walk together to school, Nate wiping the stray crumbs off of my uniform and insist on taking a bite of it just as we reached her school gates.

I exhale, and so the grovelling begins — not even twelve hours has passed since we last saw one another and he's trying to remind me of how things were once, but will never be again.

" morning Sloan." It also annoys me how much he too still adores my sister, not having any siblings of his own — he has seemingly adopted mine whilst I've been away.

" what are you doing here?" I hum, folding my arms as he exhales and puts his arm out that's holding the coffee.

" I came to talk." he says,

" about what?" I play dumb, I know exactly what he wants to talk about.

" Stells-" he says my name like that again, knowing how it makes it me feel. He's the only one who calls me that — everyone else either goes with Stella or Estie. But not Nate Archibald, because he called me it once and I said I liked it — he has not stopped it since. I exhale and turn my head to the little blonde who watches us like we're the weekly episode of some soppy soap opera she's obsessed with.

" Sloan, wait in the car." I instruct, she can tell by the tone of my voice and stern expression painted on my face that she shouldn't fight me on this.

She lifts her hand up " later Nate." she excuses herself and climbs into the the right side of the blacked out car.

" look, I know you don't want to talk about it." He exhales, " but we need to."

I shake my head " Nate, I'm over it." it's a lie I've told myself so much I've seemingly found it to be the truth " you turned me down, it's not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last I get rejected."

I begin to walk past him, but his fingers catch my hand. I feel my skin ache as I turn to look at him and he looks almost guilty.

" what about the wedding?" he asks, I remove my hand from his own and instead fold it against my chest.

" the shepherd wedding?" I reply, " what about it, I saw you, you saw me."

He grunted " Jesus Stell- I told you that I loved you." he retold, and I could feel my heart within my chest.

And suddenly I was back in that hallway, at the back of the building tucked away from anyone else.

Like now, I was jet lagged and was only in New York for forty eight hours before I had to go back to London for school and the Shepard wedding was the one social event I could fit into my calendar — they knew my parents well, so I had little excuse not to go.

And Nate had been trying to grab my attention all night, trying to find a moment that neither Blair (his then and now current girlfriend), James or Olivia weren't by my side to pull me away.

He spared no moment when that time came around. Telling me he loved me too and that the six months that had passed since I had left just showed him that.

Telling me that Blair was a business deal between their parents, a relationship of convenience. And that he would leave her for me, that night, that second. If I had just said the word.

But I didn't. I would've been an idiot to fall for his words — genuine or not. For the first time since the unfortunate day in Central Park I felt fine, I believed myself to be over Nate Archibald. And I wasn't going to jeopardise that.

" and I turned you down." I tell him, filling in the blanks " I know Nate, I was there."

He fakes a cough " nothings changed for me Stells, it hasn't changed at all." he tells me and I can't listen to it anymore.

" you're dating Blair!" I tell him, " you really cannot be saying this to me right now." I begin walk down the stairs but one of his hands grabs my arms, stopping me as he stands dangerously close.

" tell me you don't still feel it." he almost instructed, but In a whisper that makes the hairs on my arms stand up " I could feel it last night, your heart-" he starts before I turn around with a disgruntled expressions

" Nate stop it!" I tell him, and he just knows I can't say it not because I don't feel the things he does but because it would make my life a lot more difficult because I do.

" if it were up to me, I'd still be in England ok? don't have this twisted idea that I came back to be with you Nate because it'll just hurt us both."

I look at him, feeling the pit in my stomach grow as I notice how much I've hurt him. I swallow dryly " I'm sorry." I tell him as he nods.

" it's ok, I get it." It's a lie, none of this is ok. But instead of telling him and airing our dirty laundry outside my house I nod, moving towards the car " do you need a ride?" I ask, he shakes his head.

" no-no I'm good." he hums, " I said I'd meet up with Chuck before class anyways." It's a lie but I don't fight him on it and instead nod.

" I'll see you in class." I say as a form of goodbye, he nods before watching as I open the door and slide in beside Sloan who is waiting for me.

My smile falls off my face and I exhale, " what did he say?" she hums. I turn to look at her and shake my head.

" stuff I wish he hadn't."

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

THE KISS ON THE LIPS PARTY IS TRADITION, hence why as I sit in a chair in the changing rooms of from store on fifth avenue is all Olivia can talk to.

" come on Estie!" she exhales, waving the invitation I was handed by a freshman in my face as she stands in a custom made dress ( all the dresses she owns are custom made, she's olivia Bass she doesn't wear anything mass produced).

" you need to come, it'll be fun." Olivia's smiles bright as she placed it back down in my lap.

I shake my head " I kind of just want to settle back in first before any social events." I tell her the lie instead of the truth.

" you can't avoid him forever you know?" she hums " he's been your best friend since you were what? Ten? and I don't think he's going away any time soon."

It's obvious who she's talking about. It's the same boy who has been avoiding me like the plague since this morning, he asked someone for a pencil. I offered one but he awkwardly coughed and had to excuse himself from class.

People are starting to notice. Which I don't want them to, whispers are now being spread, rumours although are contorted are most likely accurate.

" I'm not ignoring him." I state, " I'm just distancing myself from him."

the curtain is pulled open and she steps out, in a short rogue red chiffon mini dress — she gives me a hesitant look waiting for my opinion ( like she doesn't know she looks amazing).

" whatcha think?" she asks, and I nod my head.

" I love it." I stand up as she continues to twirl still unsure about it.

" really? it's not too.." she just makes a gesture to the dress and yet I understand what she means, we just read each others faces, we have had entire conversations with just facial expressions.

My face scrunches and I shake my head giving her a reassuring smile " you look...sensational."

She nods " it's always good when you use big words, makes me feel good." she tells me and then looks at me.

" well now I'm all sorted, we need to find you a dress." she says, " if you're coming?"

her hands out and grab my own as she swings our arms slightly and gives me that look, tilted head, pouted lips, doey eyes and I exhale.

" fine." she grins before running towards the racks of clothing ( still in the dress she hasn't paid for).

Eventually, after a half hour of trying on dresses — I settle on one, giving into my best friend although going to the kiss on the lips party seems like the worst idea right now, especially with Nate's little talk this morning and even more with him ignoring me like I wish I could ignore him.

I stand there, running my hands over the material that resembles a candy-floss colour of pink — the peach coloured feathers that line the top trim, the sparkles that make the material twinkle under the light.

and then I look in the mirror, noticing a few eyes that watch me — some I know, but others I don't.

I turn around catching the gaze of Serena and Eric Vanderwoodsen's eyes and they gently smile as so do I.

" Serena, Eric I didn't see you guys there." I say, walking towards them. And then taking note of a petite blonde who stares at me like I stared at Naomi Campbell when I met her for the first time.

" Estella, you look great." she says, but the air in her voice is different around me — but I think it's just me, too caught on edge that she might know about me and Nate to even have a normal conversation.

I gesture to the dress " just a bit of retail therapy." I tell them and they smile looking other to the two others with a smile — " hey, you gave me the invitation this morning right?"

I recollect her, but instead of her red dress she was wearing now it was the Constance uniform but she had the nervous timid smile when she approached me and Olivia on the bench that she has now.

She nods, " Jenny Humphrey, I'm in the same grade as your sister Sloan." I nod and smile " and this is my brother..." She turns but no one stands where she is pointing to.

After a few seconds of silence, Serena points at the dress she's wearing " so is that your dress for the kiss on the lips party?"

" sort of, speak of that.." Jenny bends down to pick up a envelope in her bag before handing it to Serena " I made you one during free period but if anyone asks you where you got it, I know nothing."

Blair didn't invite Serena to the party?

I turn my head, nose scrunched as part of my visible look of confusion " Blair didn't give you an invitation?" I ask, Serena looks at me with a little shake of her head.

I turn back, " strange." I mutter under my breath.

What the hell happened here since I was in London.

" Stella, where are you!" I hear a voice whaling out, it's clearly Olivia's " the zippers stuck, I need help." she continues.

I look to the three blondes, " best friend duty calls, nice to see you all." I say, silently thanking Olivia's wardrobe malfunction for saving me.

picking up my pace until I reach the dressing room, opening the door as she stands with her arms crossed — fully dressed back into the black Chanel co-ord that she changed into before we came here, no dress, no panicked, no zipper to even get stuck on her entire outfit with the exception of the one that's in her handbag.

" what are you doing?" I ask, pulling the door shut as she gives me a small exhale.

" you looked like you were drowning out there." She says, " you're insane." I tell her as she passes by me.

She shakes her head " if that's your way of saying thank you, you can buy me a drink at the bar later."

Giving me a big smile as she exits the dressing room leaving to get change " get changed, buy the dress and I'll call the car around." she tells me.

The door closes and I smile softly. Maybe being back in New York isn't a bad thing after all. Olivia is here, and as long as I play my cards right she'll stay here.

AUTHORS NOTE.

Olivia bass is the better bass and I will die on that hill

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