Louis didn't turn around, his figure was already disappearing deeper into the woods. Don't turn around. Don't walk back. Don't, he kept repeating, he felt like he was just going to get even more lost, but right now he'd prefer that to being near Harry.

"I said don't walk away from me," Harry's loud voice, crashed against the other wise calm forest. Louis had been so lost in his mantra he hadn't heard Harry following him. Now he was being pressed between a cool tree and Harry's warm body.

Louis looked up and met Harry's eyes, and suddenly he felt tired. Tired of this, tired of running away, why doesn't Harry listen?

"I should have believed those messages when I first got them," Louis mumbled.

Harry groaned, letting Louis go, shaking his head from side to side. "What can I do Lou? To let you know I'm being sincere. I'm done lying, you're right. I didn't give a damn about you at first, or really throughout whatever we had." Louis' chest tightened, and Harry stopped talking as the saddest look he ever saw cross Louis' face, and though he wasn't about to say it, he never wanted to see that look on Louis ever again. "But, I don't know what it is, but I can't stop thinking about you, I just can't. I thought you'd be like the rest, you'd leave and I wouldn't care but that's not true, I don't know what it is but I can't stop thinking about you." He continued, his voice softening. Louis blinked, not replying. "I know I'm selfish for wanting to keep you with me when I know I'm not good for you. Just trust me when I say I care for you in a way that scares me, because I've never felt like this with anyone else. Damn Lou, you're the only one I ever tried to be nice with. I know you still love me, and though I know I'm fucked up, I know I can love you too. Just give me another chance," Harry leaned down, his lips brushing over Louis' who was frozen in his spot.

"Another chance for you to hurt me? No thank you." Louis told him softly.

"Damn it Louis, fucking listen to what I'm saying." Harry shouted.

"I did though." Louis replied, his voice trembling. "Now, I want to go home, can I call Niall please?" He was being agonizingly calm in this situation, and Harry hated him for that.

"You're not denying that you still love me," Harry shot back, not willing to let Louis walk away from him.

"What do you want me to say Harry? That I do love you? God, what else can I say? Of course I fucking love you, but you've done enough shit with hurting me. I'm stupid for loving a guy like you but I'm not mentally fucked up that badly to want to get back together with you. Not after what you did. I meant what I said, I survived before I met you. I can survive after. Just please, I need to call Niall,"

His words broke at the end of his statement, and he turned away, not before Harry caught sight of a stray tear falling down his cheek. And that stung, it really did.

Wordlessly he pulled out his cellphone, wiping his other hand across his forehead, pushing back his stray curls.

•Louis•

It hurts

It hurts so much

Why does it hurt?

Why didn't he just leave me alone?

Don't believe him. He only wants to hurt you.

He handed over his phone, and his hand brushed over mine. An electric feeling passed through our fingertips and I quickly drew back, clutching the phone in my hand.

He watched me as I walked away. I dialed Niall's number, and he answered at the final ring.

"The hell do you want Styles? I still can't fucking find him, if something's happened to him I swear you're gonna be the one to pay. Fuc-"

"Niall?" I muttered.

"Lou? What-WHY DO YOU HAVE HARRYS PHONE. Did he do something to you? I fucking swear-where are you?"

"He didn't do anything, please calm down. I don't know where I am, I was at a park and then I saw this trail an followed it, I was at the edge of this cliff and I just-"

"Say no more, stay where you are and please whatever Harry says don't believe him." Niall said.

"I know." I told him as he hung up.

I walked back to Harry, he hadn't moved an inch. His eyes were focused on me and they held no emotion. "You could have asked me for a ride."

I know.

I shrugged, placing his phone beside him. Neither of us said anything, the silence was actually kind of welcoming. I thought to his words, and to the fact that it's the first time I've seen him in almost a month.

"Alexa sent you those messages." He finally said. "When you told me about them I went to confront her, told her to fuck off." He continued.

"I figured as much." I replied softly.

"I can be good for you, Lou, I can try." He murmured.

From the far distance there was a loud "Lou!" I quickly turned towards it, but Harry grabbed my chin. Turning me towards him, I met his dark gaze in an instant.

He didn't say anything, just leaned down. My heart tightened, his lips were right there, so close. My brain fought my racing heart, and in the end it won. I pulled back and turned to the footsteps that were getting louder. Niall appeared out of the side, but he wasn't alone. Dylan's eyes got big, and he ran towards me. His smile growing, he looked tired but his eyes were slightly shining. "Lou! You're okay." He said, hugging me tightly.

"Yeah, I am." I grinned shyly.

His eyes moved past me to Harry, who was standing too close to me. Dylan pulled me closer to him, and I felt Harry's hand on my arm. I blushed darkly, and pulled away from both of them. It was Niall's turn to wrap me up in a hug.

"Fuck I'm so sorry, next time I'll listen to you okay? We never have to go to a club ever again. Shit, I didn't know he was gonna be there. I was so worried. I'm so sorry Lou, I thought something happened and it was gonna be all my fault." Niall said his worry growing across his face.

I smiled softly, "No, my fault. I never should have run out on you, never should have left my phone either. I'm sorry, and a change of scene was good for me."

"You." Niall said his voice getting cold. "Stay the fuck away from him, you've done enough damage." He said, pulling me behind him. I sighed softly, I did not need all this protecting thank you very much. I can take care of my self. I just wanted to go home.

"He has to say it." Harry finally said, the firmness in his voice surprising me. "Say you don't love me anymore and I'll leave. Just say it." He didn't break eye contact with me. I felt my heart pick up in speed, my insides turning into a mess. Why does he have this affect on me?

No one spoke, Niall looked between Harry and I, expecting me to react as always except I didn't.

"I want to go home," I finally said, turning his back on all of them and disappearing into the woods (the way I saw Niall come).

____

Dylan immediately walked after Louis, Niall faltered for a moment. He glanced back at harry. "Just stay away, okay Styles," before he followed Louis.

Really though, when has Harry ever listened to anyone?

___

Nobody spoke, not one word. Louis stared off into the distance from his window seat in Niall's car. Harry hadn't followed them, that meant he was still back at the cliff. No, stop thinking about him. You've been doing so good, you don't need him. Louis thought. Lies, I miss him. I don't care if he's hurt me. I don't, I just want him with me. He argued back. Stupid. His brain was fighting with his heart and in the end his brain won. He tried to push all thoughts of Harry to the side.

"I never should have asked you to come out." Niall told him.

"It's okay."

"I'm just-"

"Just drop it please." Louis spoke softly.

After another moment Niall said, "Does this mean you don't want anything for your birthday?"

Shoot! Christmas! He hadn't even thought of Niall's gift, darn. Louis sat up, glancing at Niall. Of course in reality he couldn't care less about his birthday. Big 18 yay. No, he cared more about the holiday and this year it had completely passed his mind. "Right, my birthday. I don't care really? Just something small?"

"Sure. Something small." Niall said smiling, and really Louis' just honestly glad for the change of subject.

____

Fully bathed and wrapped up in his bed Louis was watching amusedly as Niall tried putting up Christmas decorations. He was currently trying to put up tinsel across the wall.

"I never would have picture you as the type to decorate so animatedly for Christmas," Louis said through small laughs as the whole tinsel collapsed on Niall.

"Me? Yeah mate, I even got mistletoe and if you're up to it we can go and he our own little Christmas tree." Niall said his face lighting up.

Yeah Louis was up for it, disgruntled Niall left the pile of tinsel on the floor and decided to get the tree now. Louis stood up and asked if they could make a stop along the way. He was going to buy Niall's present, and Liam's and maybe even Dylan's. Niall said sure, and they left.

___

It took a while but he finally found Niall's perfect gift, (and amazingly Niall had to go on his own to find something so it was sure to be a surprise when he saw it). They also found an adorable tiny tree, that they decorated in tinsel and ornaments.

After they laughed because one of the many mistletoes had fallen on top of Niall's head after he walked through the doorway, placing the last box of decorations in the floor.

Louis laughed out loud, covering his own mouth in suprise.

"It's been a while since, I heard that laugh, nice to see it back Lou." Niall told him softly.

Louis grinned softly, shaking his head. "you're just really funny Niall."

And Louis thought he'd be okay he really did, but when he woke up later that night a fleeting thought that maybe this time Harry would be beside him he knew he wasn't okay.

He didn't even know if he knew what being okay was anymore.

_____

A/n media is Harry and Lou of this story .

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Next chapter is Louis' birthday party..things shall go down :) .