Chapter 32

"Tali, baby..."

Lui was looking at me when he said those words... and then he turned his head to look at the guy. It was just for a split second, but it was enough for the guy to apologize and quickly left us alone.

"What was that?" tanong ko sa kanya nung umalis iyong lalaki at iniwan kami.

Lui sat down on the space beside me. Tinanggal niya iyong sunglass na naka-patong sa ulo niya at saka sinuot niya 'yon. It was just him putting sunglasses on, but I was watching his every move like it was some damn movie.

God, I couldn't go through that simp phase again!

Sinuot ko rin iyong sunglass ko para kahit papaano naman ay magkaroon ako ng kahihiyan at hindi niya makita kung saan man ako naka-tingin.

"Nothing," he replied. "Akala ko ginugulo ka niya."

"Really," I said, not really buying his answer.

"You're welcome," he said.

Natawa na lang ako. Siguro kahit magka-tsunami na dito sa Bali, hinding-hindi pa rin sasabihin sa akin ni Lui na gusto niya ako. Like ililigtas niya ako for sure, but hindi lalabas sa bibig niya iyong mga salita na gusto niya ako.

Because didn't he do this before, as well? He acted like this, too. He was caring and attentive and sweet and I fell for every single one of his acts. And then a year later, he told me that he liked me that time.

Ano? Gusto niya ulit ako? Pero hindi niya na naman sasabihin sa akin? Hanggang mabaliw ako sa kakaisip kung ano ba talaga ang gusto niyang mangyari?

I looked at his side profile.

I stared at him.

Yeah... I'm not playing this game with you again, Lui.

This bullshit won't go back to the Philippines again. Hindi matatapos 'tong Bali trip natin na 'di mo sinasabi sa akin kung ano talaga ang gusto mong mangyari. Because I was pretty sure that if I don't do anything about it, baka umabot na ako ng 40 years old na nalilito pa rin sa kung ano ang trip mo.

I reached for my tote bag. Kinuha ko 'yong sunblock doon at inabot ko kay Lui 'yon.

"Hindi ko maabot iyong likod ko," I said.

Hindi ko makita iyong mga mata niya dahil sa sunblock, but knowing Lui and how he's acting like a hormonal teenager lately? I knew that I was pushing his boundaries right now—iyong boundaries niya na parang bigla na lang lumitaw. He wasn't like this before! Like we literally hooked up the first time we met.

Bago pa man siya makapagdahilan kung bakit 'di niya ako pwedeng lagyan ng sunblock sa likod ko, dumapa na ako sa may beach mat. And then I untied the strings of my bikini top.

Seconds were passing by without him moving. I gave him time to process things. I mean, sa thought nga lang na matutulog ako na naka-hubad, mukhang bothered na siya... Ngayon pa kaya?

I made myself comfortable habang hinihintay siya na lagyan ako ng sunblock. I knew what was coming, still, my heart almost leaped out from my chest when I felt his hands on my skin.

Shit.

Has it really been that long?

Yes.

Yes, it has.

I felt the hesitation on his hands... but only for a few seconds because he probably felt me stiffening up nang ipatong niya iyong kamay niya sa akin.

And Lui may act like a hormonal teenager lately, but we both know that deep down, he's just barely holding himself by a thread.

Malandi kaya siya.

The money I'd pay to know what's going on in that head of his right at this moment.

"What the fuck—" sabi ko nang maramdaman ko na konti na lang ay nasa side boobs ko na iyong kamay niya.

"What?" he asked, his hands still playing a dangerous game. Nasa likuran ko na ulit iyong kamay niya. "I'm just making sure na malalagyan ng sunblock lahat ng sulok," he continued and then his hand glided from my shoulders down to the small of my back and then it stopped there.

I could hear the loud beating of my heart.

What?

What's he gonna do next?

Would he lather sunblock on my ass, as well?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang tanga ako na naghihintay sa susunod na gagawin niya. I was counting the seconds in my head tapos ay napa-tingin ako sa kanya nung bigla siyang tumayo. I almost stood up, too, pero buti na lang at hindi dahil naka-untie nga pala iyong bikini top ko.

"I'll just go for a quick swim," sabi niya.

Napaawang iyong labi ko nung mabilis siyang magtanggal ng t-shirt at iwanan iyon pati iyong mga gamit niya sa tabi ko. Wala na siyang sinabi agad. Sobrang bilis niyang maglakad na one second, nandito siya at nilalagyan ako ng sunblock and the next second, nasa tubig na agad siya.

Sinuot ko na ulit iyong bikini top ko. I sat there while watching him swim. Maya-maya ay nakita ko na may lumapit sa kanya na dalawang babae at kinakausap siya.

I really couldn't leave him anywhere!

Gustuhin ko man na puntahan siya doon, 'di ko magawa dahil nasa tabi ko iyong mga gamit namin. So, I just sat there and watched as he engaged in conversation with the two foreign girls. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinag-uusapan nila, pero bigla akong tinuro ni Lui at napa-tingin sa akin iyong mga babae.

What did he tell them?

Maya-maya ay umahon na rin siya sa tubig. Mabuti na lang at naka-sunglass ako dahil ayoko na makita niya na naka-tingin ako sa kanya. His board shorts was wet that it was just clinging on to his skin. I told myself not to look at his—ugh, Tali, nakaka-hiya ka.

"Sino 'yon?" I asked nung maupo siya sa tabi ko. I almost lost air in my chest nung suklayin niya iyong buhok niya gamit iyong mga daliri niya. Even the most mundane of things become hot when Lui does them.

"I don't know," he replied. "Dito lang ba tayo?"

"Why? Bored ka na?"

"No."

"Tapos ka na sa ginagawa mo?"

"Hindi pa."

"Tapusin mo na."

"Mamaya na."

"Irresponsible," I said in jest.

"I'm not," he replied. "Monday pa 'yung deadline."

I just nodded and then I hugged my knees. I felt Lui just watching me. I let him. It was just nice. Lui has always been nice to be around.

After a while, nag-aya na ako na bumalik na kami sa villa. Medyo mataas na kasi iyong araw saka alam ko na 'di babalik si Lui sa trabaho niya dahil parang ayaw niya akong iwan dito sa may shore.

"I'll just stay here," sabi ko sa kanya pagbalik namin sa villa. Glass door naman kaya kita niya na nandon lang ako sa may labas. Mukhang urgent iyong trabaho ni Lui kaya 'di na siya nagsalita pa.

I removed my cover up again tapos ay nahiga lang ako sa may lounge chair. Kinuha ko na rin iyong libro ko at binasa ko iyon habang tumutugtog iyong beach playlist ko sa may Spotify. This is so nice! Iba pala talaga kapag bakasyon sa luxury villa compared sa mga normal na hotel. Tss. Paano na ako babalik sa normal kong buhay after nito?

After a few chapters, I went to swim in the pool. Nakita ko na paminsan ay pinapanood ako ni Lui. I ignored him and let him watch. At least he'd know what he's missing. He took me for granted nung pwede niya pa akong hawakan anytime, anywhere. Bahala siya d'yan tumingin.

Nung umahon ako sa may pool, nagulat ako dahil biglang naka-upo na si Lui doon sa may lounger. Then he walked towards me while holding a towel.

"Nasa loob na 'yung lunch," he said as he wrapped the towel around my shoulders. Nasa mga mata ko lang iyong tingin niya. He was staring a little bit too intensely that my heart started to beating faster than usual.

"Okay," I managed to say. "Magsshower lang ako."

Mabilis akong naglakad pabalik sa kwarto at saka dumiretso sa may shower. Ang bilis pa rin ng tibok ng puso ko kahit wala namang ginawa si Lui kundi ang balutin ako nung towel.

And to think na first day pa lang 'to...

* * *

We ate lunch in silence with a few awkward glances and conversation. After that, I told him that I'd take a nap first. Bukod sa napagod ako sa lahat ng nangyari kanina, I knew that he'd just tag along with me kapag lumabas ako. And he's got some things he needed to finish, so I decided to just give him time for that.

I watched Someone Great then naka-tulog ako.

"Shit," I said nung mapa-tingin ako sa labas ng bintana at makita na madilim na. I grabbed my phone and saw that it was already 9PM. Ganoon ako katagal natulog?!

Nung lumabas ako, nakita ko na nasa sala lang si Lui. He looked so serious sa kung anuman ang binabasa niya kaya 'di niya napansin na lumabas ako sa kwarto. I stopped and stared for him for a while. He was wearing a black shirt that made me really notice the silver necklace that he was wearing. Naka-patong din sa may binti niya iyong laptop at may tina-type siya doon.

I didn't know for how long I was watching him.

But it was probably long enough para mapa-tingin siya sa gawi ko.

"Kanina—" sabi niya tapos ay natigilan na naman siya nung ma-realize niya na naka-tshirt lang ako at wala na naman akong shorts. Bakit ba? May underwear naman ako!

He cleared his throat, but the end of his ears were betraying him with how red they were.

"Akala ko bukas ka pa gigising," he said as he was looking me in the eyes and only in the eyes. "Do you want me to ask them for the dinner?"

Umiling ako. Ano'ng oras na din. Baka nagpapa-hinga na iyong staff nitong villa.

"May restaurant naman sa labas," I told him.

Naka-tingin siya sa akin. His forehead was slightly creased. Naka-tingin lang din ako sa kanya at naghihintay sa sasabihin niya.

"Okay," he said after a minute. "Pero wala ka ba talagang shorts?"

Instead of answering him, naglakad ako papunta sa may sala. Naupo din ako sa may couch. I was a few meter away from him. Pinatong ko iyong legs ko sa may couch. The end of my feet were almost touching him.

"It's just legs, Lui. Come on, now," I told him.

Naka-tingin lang siya sa akin. I couldn't read what was going on in his mind.

"You're acting like ngayon ka lang naka-kita ng legs," dugtong ko.

I slightly tilted my head to the side. I was so enjoying teasing him and seeing how far I could push him. But with the way things were going? I was so near to breaking this man's will.

I mean, ngayon pa ba ako mahihiya sa kanya? After kong puntahan siya sa review center niya at umiyak sa harapan niya? After that, anything I do didn't seem as embarrassing. Ganyan siguro kapag na-reach mo na 'yung rock bottom mo sa kahihiyan.

"Shut it, Tali," sabi niya at saka tumayo.

"What?" I asked nung naglakad siya papunta sa kwarto niya.

"I know what you're doing," he replied as he stopped in front of the door to his room. He looked at me. "I'm on my best behavior here, but I have my limits, Italia Reign. Kapag ikaw pinatulan ko."

Kasing lakas ata nung pagsara niya ng pinto iyong pagkabog ng dibdib ko.

Akala ko kung ano ang gagawin niya sa kwarto, pero lumabas lang agad siya at saka may inabot sa akin na maong shorts. I looked at him with my forehead creased.

"Ano 'to?"

"Shorts."

"San mo nakuha 'to?" I asked kasi obviously 'di naman siya magsusuot nito. "Galing sa mga naka-landian mo dati?" I continued. Umiinit ang ulo ko kapag naisip ko na ipapa-suot niya sa akin iyong probably naiwan na shorts ng kung sinumang babae dinala niya sa condo niya.

He rolled his eyes at me like he was annoyed at what I insinuated. "Can't you see the price tag?" he asked and then pointed at it. Napa-kunot ang noo ko. Mukhang dito niya sa Bali binili 'to. Kailan? Kanina nung natutulog ako? Lumabas siya para bumili ng shorts? Akala ko nagta-trabaho siya tapos nagshopping pa pala siya.

Pumunta ako sa CR at nag-ayos. I just wore the smocked olive green triangle bikini tapos ay sinuot ko iyong maong shorts na binigay ni Lui. Sobrang sakto. Alam niya size ko? That weirdo. Naglagay lang din ako ng tinted sunscreen at lipgloss at nagspray ng pabango.

Paglabas ako, nakita ko na seryoso pa rin iyong mukha ni Lui.

"What? Ano na naman problema mo? Naka-shorts na ako."

"Nothing," he said as he stood up. "What do you want for dinner?" he asked.

I wanted to tease him and say 'ikaw' pero baka patulan na talaga ako nito kasi mukhang malapit na akong buminggo sa kanya.

"Any local dish," I told him.

Nung nasa labas na kami, naka-tayo lang kami doon. Hawak niya iyong cellphone niya at mukhang naghahanap siya ng restaurant na pwedeng puntahan doon.

"This one?" he asked me.

This was probably why I never really liked Lance... and why it's always been Lui for me. Kasi kay Lance, lagi siyang nagdedecide para sa akin. Si Lui, he always asks me. He'd always give me options and I'll always be the one deciding. Like he leads the way, but I can always change direction if I want to.

"Yeah, looks fine," I replied.

Tinignan niya sa map. "Medyo malayo," he said.

"Ah, okay. Kahit sa malapit na lang."

"No, it's fine," sabi niya tapos ay naglakad siya kaya naman sumunod ako sa kanya. He stopped in front of a motorcyle and looked at me.

"You can drive?" I asked, confused dahil 'di ko inakala na marunong siyang magmotor.

Tumango siya. "Is it okay with you?" he asked. "I'll drive slowly."

Hindi talaga ako sumasakay sa motor. Sa province kasi namin, maraming namamatay dahil sa drunk driving. Kahit sa Manila, 'di ako sumasakay sa motorcycle service. I'd seriously rather take the train kaysa motor.

But goddamn it, Italia. Kapag kay Lui talaga kahit siguro ayain ako mag-skydiving nito, papayag ako, e.

Lui handed me the helmet. I tried to secure it, pero dahil first time ko magsuot nito, medyo 'di ko ma-lock nang maayos. Lui took charge and he locked it for me. Air got knocked out of my chest because he was standing too close to me.

"Let's go," he said after making sure that the helmet was secured... he probably didn't notice that I was holding my breath the entire time.

Fuck it.

Fuck him.

God, I want him so bad.

* * *

Lui did drive carefully as he promised. Minsan ay mapapa-tingin ako sa mukha niya sa may side mirror nung motor. Minsan ay magtatama iyong mga mata namin. I never once broke the stare—it was always him.

The whole drive, naka-yakap lang ako sa kanya. I laid my head against his back.

I want him.

I want him so much.

I was done with the back and forth when it's so painfully obvious that we want each other.

So, tonight, I will break him—no matter at what cost. 

**

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