31. Truth

My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy as I met those steel-gray eyes I've come to fall for. I then remembered back to the file. Those beautiful gray eyes turned stone cold with no life or emotion swirling in them. A monster appeared in front of me and when I blinked, Levi was in its place. To say I am scared is an understatement.

For once, I'm terrified.

Terrified about how he'll react to how I'm carrying his child at the moment. Terrified how our past might haunt us. Terrified how this I will solve this situation.

We were currently in the kitchen making some lunch at my place. It was awkward. No words were spoken and when we accidentally brushed against each other we immediately pulled back as if the other burned us. I didn't know what to say. I don't think he did either. The things we did that night could become our confessions to a priest. It was a sin we committed.

But we've sinned so much. Even before we met.

My heart still yearned for him. But my brain kept telling me he was forbidden. Someone you wouldn't want in your life. Someone who was dangerous.

But I'm dangerous as well.

It's so scary how we match each other so well. Our similarities and differences perfectly weave into each other. If we were "normal" I think we would've been a good couple. I finished my lunch quickly, wanting to leave this awkward atmosphere. I also had an appointment with Hanji to see if the pregnancy test was really right.

"I'll be back later," I muttered and quickly left. I arrived at the agency hospital where Hanji worked. She worked in the infirmary and the hospital near us. She was also the head doctor. She had so many responsibilities, I don't know how she handles all of it. We were going to do an ultrasound to see if there really was a human growing inside me. I signed in and waited a bit for Hanji to call me. Once a nurse called me and settled me into a room she left me to get Hanji. Hanji arrived by bursting through the door.

"My shortcake!!!" She yelled and engulfed me in a hug. I awkwardly pat her back and started gasping for breath. She immediately let go of me.

"So...how's it going?" Hanji asked excitedly.

"What do you mean?"

"How'd Levi react?! C'mon girl, give me the juicy details! He's probably so happy that you're carrying his child. Oh my god, I wonder how the child will look. What it's gender will be. Gosh, I'm excited. It will probably look a lot like Levi but have your feminine features. And both of your beauty-" I slap my hand around her mouth before she could ramble on.

"I-uh...didn't tell him...yet," I said sheepishly. Hanji moves my hand and grabbed my shoulders, proceeding to shake them making me slightly dizzy.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM?!!!!!" She yelled. A nurse passing by the open door hushed Hanji.

"Doctor, there are patients resting at the moment. Please lower your voice for their convenience." She said like she had to recite it a million times.

"Sorry! Oh! Check on patient 320 please, he didn't seem like he was in the right of mind when I checked on him earlier."

"Yes, ma'am." And the nurse left. Hanji whipped her head towards me and repeated her question slightly lower.

"Why haven't you told him?"

"I...I'm scared Hanji. I found out some stuff that I wasn't supposed to find and I'm scared. Of him and this child. Hanji...I had a rough past. Hell, I don't know what love is. If I keep this baby, I want them to have a good life. Not this life I have. Risking your life every day, fighting to breathe another day, dealing with all the stress and pressure of everyone else's life on your hands. I want this child to live a normal life. With loving parents. Away from...me. I'm a monster Hanji and I care so much for these types of things and-" I started to tear up and break down.

"Shhhhh," Hanji said in a softer voice and pulled me in a hug. She stayed quiet until I was just sniffling.

"I'm sorry, these pregnancy mood swings..." I apologized. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"So you're thinking of putting them up for adoption?" Hanji has a tone of sadness when she asked me.

"No...yes...maybe? I don't know anymore..." I replied. I was unsure. Something told me not to put them up for adoption though...

"It's fine (Y/n). I understand all your pressure and thoughts. But Levi has a right to know. He needs to know the truth. It is his child. I promise you, he would be ecstatic. We've conversed deeply before. He's a thoughtful, caring man. He just has a hard time showing it. But he has told me of his dreams. Of being normal with a normal family and a beautiful, clean house. Sometimes he mentions you in those dreams."

"He...does?"

"Of course (y/n). You both just need a little nudge in the right direction. And you'll both thrive and live well."

"But our pasts, this job-"

"I understand your concerns. But if you both talk it out then you'll come to a conclusion to which it will benefit both of you. You're both smart people, you may have some bumpy obstacles but I am sure you will figure it out."

"Hanji...thank you so much. I - heh - I don't know what I'd do without you." I said chuckling at my worries. They were minor things and I just needed to talk to him. Hanji was right, conversation is what makes a relationship work. I want our relationship to work. I want us to be closer. I-

"I love him so much Hanji," I whispered and closed my eyes, hanging my head.

"I feel so vulnerable. My heart must be crazy. To love someone as dangerous as him. But it's also a nice feeling. Every time he looks at me, my heart flutters and my face heats up. Every time I hear his voice it's like music to my ears. Every time I feel his touch, he warms my cold hands up. And his eyes...god - his eyes...I just feel like I could get lost in them. Is this what love feels like? How is a simple feeling like this so exhilarating? My heart just pounds thinking about him." I ramble. Hanji chuckles.

"I feel you. I know how those feelings are. That is love, my dear. And believe me, I'm pretty sure Levi feels the same way. You just need to tell him."

"Tell me what?" We heard at the doorway. My eyes widen and I look up at the door. Levi stood there leaning on the doorway with a raised eyebrow.

"I think this is the perfect time to tell him (y/n)."

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A/n: Whaddup readers! Important announcement here! I've decided to create a one-shot book since I seem to be creating ideas faster than I can update. So what's a better way than to make a book just filled with them? It won't be up for a while but it's coming soon. I've just decided to put that idea out there. I know that there are a lot of one-shot books but I wanna take my shot at it. Would you like to see my take on Levi x Reader one-shots?

Kudos to people who get the two references in this chapter!

(Y/n) finally tells her feelings to someone else. Hanji. (Y/n) feels a little peace now that she knows for sure that what she's feeling is love. We see a lot of character development on (y/n) during this chapter. That's why it's so important. It's when she finally admits her feelings and confirms it with someone else. Her worries and stress are what's holding her back.

Hanji said she feels what (y/n) is feeling...hm... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Levi overheard what they said. Just how much did he hear? How will he react?

Anywho, hope you enjoyed!
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!


Published: March 13, 2018

Edited ✔️

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