I showed my dad my drawing of Frank Iero and he was just like "is that Pete Wentz from fall out boy? No wait, he looks too good to be Pete Wentz"

~~

I remember the day it all started. It was back in fifth grade with all the boys on the playground at school. We were over in the corner of the basketball court where we had found a slug. Of course that's when one of the boys poured a ring of salt around it and everyone cheered and laughed. Except for me, of course, I screamed and cried. That's the first day my dad ever called me a pussy, because I didn't want to watch some poor, innocent slug die.

And then one day in high school, I think I was only fifteen or sixteen, I had gone into my parent's room to look for a jacket that must've gotten mixed up in my dad's clothes instead of mine. As I was in there I had glanced over at my mother's vanity and I could feel someone telling me to go to it. So I sat down and picked up a tube of red lipstick, slowly and carefully putting it onto my lips. It didn't look very nice, it was my first time putting on makeup. The edges were wavy from my shaky hand and a bit had gotten on my teeth. But when I looked in the mirror I saw someone so much more beautiful staring back at me and i remember i started crying.

My father found out and of course I never heard the end of it. So when I was seventeen I got my first tattoo, my dad by my side because I needed a parent due to my age. It was terrifying but I forced myself not to cry, I couldn't cry in front of him. I remember him patting me on the back and telling me I was finally becoming a real man. I think that's what hurt the most.

And then...well, then there's mother died. She had gotten into a car accident and died in the hospital after we said our goodbyes. I remember that day vividly, it was only a week after I got my first tattoo. I remember watching my mother die, I watched her smile and tell me she loved me before she closed her eyes and took her last breath. When we left the hospital ten minutes later my father called me a little bitch for crying. 'I thought that tattoo would have toughened you up into a real man' he had said.

And then came the day when I eventually had to go through her stuff to clean up her room. My hand wrapped around the small glass bottle of nail polish. Flirtatious Red. I chuckled softly at the name. This was my mom's favorite, I would always watched her paint her nails with this color and when I was little she would even sometimes paint my nails too. I opened it up, carefully painting my left pinky finger. I smiled at the sight of it and even dared to paint the rest of my nails too, which caused for me to get a hell of a beating.

It wasn't too long after that when I was in the mall, going to get a new pair of tennis shoes that I unfortunately needed for my gym class. I had been on my way out back to my car when I stopped, glancing into a store. It had lingerie on display, also surrounded by other pieces of clothing. I stepped in slowly, all my interest on the mannequin in the center. She wore the most gorgeous dress I had ever seen. It was a dark red with little gems on the top and in the one shoulder strap. The dressed flowed down look a smooth waterfall to the floor where there was a slit for the leg.

I could imagine myself in it immediately. Of course I just wore baggy jeans and hoodies everyday but I thought of myself in this gorgeous dress. It was like the makeup, it seemed to compel me and talk to me. Buy me, Frank, I know you want to. Buy me. Buy me. Buy me. Buy

"Can I help you?" The lady asked.

I looked over at her in shock.

"You have a girlfriend?" She asked. "This dress is on sale."

"Oh, I-I don't know," I mumbled.

She lead me over to the racks where the dresses were and I glanced at the price. It was expensive but just on sale enough to be within my price range.

"What size is your girlfriend?" She asked.

"I-I don't know, she's about the same size as me," I said.

The lady picked out a dress and held it up to me for size. I glanced passed her into the mirror and felt my breath stop. Beautiful.

"This one should be good," she said. "Do you think she's like it?"

"Love it," I whispered. "I'll buy it."

She smiled and I went to the register to buy the dress before I quickly left. I went home and smiled as I held the dress up against myself in the mirror. Prom was just in a few days and although I already had a suit ready another part of me told me to wear this dress instead.

Yeah right, I'll be beaten the second I walk in the door.

But...I need to.

I sighed, hiding the dress in the back of my closet. My hand ran over the grey tie hanging from my closet door knob. It was meant to match my girlfriend's dress, I'm sure she won't be too happy that I changed my outfit and instead switched out my black suit with a dark red dress.

But as the day of the prom drew nearer I found myself needed it more and more. And on the day of the prom I woke up and knew what I was going to do before I even made a decision, I was going to wear the red dress.

That night I put on my dress but frowned when I got passed that part. My legs were still kinda hairy in this open dress and my baggy boxers didn't look very nice underneath the dress. I looked through my dresser and found a tighter, smaller pair of boxers that looked a lot better. I didn't have shoes to match, girls usually wear heels with these kinds of things. So instead I just put on my dirty, faded black converse and smiled.

I managed to sneak passed my dad out of the house, a huge grin on my face. I got to my girlfriend's house, my stomach in butterflies with nerves and excitement as I walked up to her front door. The second she opened the door her smile dropped.

"Wh-what are you wearing?" Jamia asked.

I looked at her beautiful grey dress that seemed to hug her curves in all the right places. Her makeup was done perfectly and her hair had been recently straightened.

"I-I wanted to wear this instead," I said.

"Is this a joke?" She asked.

I looked at her as I bit my lip, shaking my head.

"Go Home and change back into your suit, Frank," she said.

"No," I said. "I want to wear this, I look so pretty in this."

"No, you aren't wearing that," she denied.

"I am and you can either go with me as my girlfriend or you can stay home," I said.

"You have a dick, Frank, I would know, We've fucked many times," Jamia said. "And now you're here dressing like a fucking pansy. Why don't you just put on a pair of fucking pants and man up."

For a moment I thought maybe she was right. Dudes with dicks shouldn't wear dresses, I should just go and change.

"No," I denied.

"Frank, you can't wear a fucking dress to prom, you're going to fucking humiliate us," she said.

I felt a stab in my heart as I looked at her.

"Fine, I guess I'll just go alone, I won't humiliate you then," I said quietly. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"You fucking ruined my senior prom, if you think I'm talking to you after this then you're crazy," she said before shutting the door on my face.

I walked back to my car, tempted to just go home and burn this damned dress. But at the same time this dress brought on a new wave of confidence that I never really had before. It was like I could stab a bitch but still look hella good while doing it.

I drove to the prom location, handing my ticket to the lady at the front before I walked in. The place was decorated more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. There were murals of landscapes and little fairy lights hanging everywhere. People danced and talked while I stood by the door a little awkwardly.

I didn't know I would but I started a wildfire.

It started with two people near me turning to look at me. Then that lead to more and more people falling silent over the crowd and looking at me. It spread just like how a wildfire would spread. The whole room was silent other than the music, which even that seemed to fade.

I thought the silence was bad but oh how I was wrong. The laughter erupted then, quietly with little giggles and then all at once as people were practically in tears from laughing so hard.

Someone shoved me and I let a cry as I was pushed out the door and into the dirt. They didn't seem to want me in there as the rest went back to partying. All of the staff just seemed to turn a blind eye as I sniffled and stood up.

I just started walking down the street to my car. The building wasn't in town, I was a good thirty minutes out. All of this was just for nothing just because I wanted to wear some stupid dress. A perfect night that I was supposed to spend with my girlfriend was gone. As well as the $100 I spent on tickets.

"Hey! Faggot!" Someone shouted.

I looked behind me and started running away when some jocks in suits started chasing after me. I couldn't be more thankful for wearing converse then as I picked up the front of my long dress. I ran until my legs ached before I fell down onto my knees on the pavement, dry heaving before falling onto my side.

"You okay, Honey?" Someone asked.

"That's a dumb question, do they look okay?" Someone else asked.

"Well, you can drop your attitude," the first one said. "I know I dropped it but it wasn't my fault."

I looked up at the people who stood over me. They all seemed to be dressed in drag, concern over their faces.

"Come on, let's get you some water," one of them said.

He helped me up to my feet and into his apartment that we were standing outside of. He sat me down on his couch, grabbing some water for me. I looked over at him nervously and he smiled.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I won't hurt you," he said. "I'm Gerard, what's your name?"

"Frank," I said quietly.

"What pronouns do you use?" He asked.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

Gerard smiled softly.

"Like he or she or they," he said.

"Well, I've got a dick so I'm a dude," I said.

"Not necessarily," Gerard said, looking me over. "Why don't we clean off this pretty dress of yours, yeah?"

I looked down at my dirty dress and nodded. He brought me to the bathroom and sat me down on a cushioned chair in front of a vanity between two sinks.

"You have to be very careful when cleaning fabrics like this," he said as he kneeled in front of me with a damp rag. "Gently wetting it down should do the trick and you should do it before taking it to a dry cleaners. But this should stop any stains, or at least large stains. A little bit of dirt shouldn't be too bad."

I nodded, watching as he carefully cleaned off the dress. When he was finished he smiled and leaned back.

"I think we should finish off your look, you want some makeup?" He asked.

I bit my lip as I looked at him.

Gerard chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't do your makeup as heavy as mine."

I nodded and Gerard sang softly as he did my makeup. I didn't recognize it but it was still just so beautiful. He leaned back and smiled, standing up. He left before coming back with a pair of nude heels. Gerard put them on me and stood me up, turning me around to look into the full length mirror.

My dress was perfectly cleaned, back to the beautiful dark red color. My makeup was beautiful and soft but I loved the way the contour looked on my face and the dark red lipstick matched the dress. My eyes had a soft smokey eye, lined with a perfect wing of black eyeliner. The heels seemed to make my legs look longer and for a moment through the slit of my dress they almost looked sexy.

"Beautiful," I whispered.

"What would you think about maybe having more curves?" Gerard asked from behind me and I cocked my head as I imagined it. "Maybe grow your hair out longer? Well, no you wouldn't have to if you didn't want to. But maybe you could have some curvy hips, maybe some breasts. Maybe you would even want to change your name. Maybe to something like Julia or Rebecca."

"Frankie," I said quietly. "My mom always used to call me Frankie and I used to love how feminine it was. My dad didn't like it, he would always say that it's too girly."

"Frankie, have you ever questioned your gender before?" He  asked and I shrugged. "Do you think you would want to be female, Frankie?"

I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't really know what to think right now.

"Because if you did I think you would make a beautiful woman," he said.

I felt my heart swell as I looked at him in the mirror. I tried to imagine myself like that with feminine curves, maybe even a set of soft breasts on my chest.

"Do you have any family or friends, Frankie?" He asked.

"I-I have my dad, a couple friends and, well, I had a girlfriend but she broke up with me tonight because today was our senior prom and I wore a dress instead of a suit," I said. "B-but I just love the way this dress makes me feel. L-like I'm really myself."

"Well good, you don't need that negativity in your life," he said. "Maybe your dad and friends could help you discover yourself."

"I can't tell them, they would never understand," I said. "I'm already just a big fag."

"But you're not, Frankie, you're so much more than that," he said. "You can be whoever you want to be but you'll never be a big fag. And if you wanna be a she then you can be a she."

"I-I don't really know what I want," I said quietly. "This is a lot at once. I've always known that there wasn't something right about me, there was something wrong with me."

"There is nothing wrong with you," Gerard denied. "You're perfect, Frankie."

"I-I just never thought that the reason I was so different was that maybe I am just the wrong gender?" I asked. "I don't know, I feel like I'm just getting everything wrong."

"There is no right or wrong," he said. "It's just you and your heart."

"Do you think I'm transgender?" I asked.

"I can't tell you that, Frankie," Gerard said. "That's something that you just have to figure out by yourself."

"I don't know, how am I supposed to know?" I asked.

"You'll know," Gerard said. "It may not be easy but soon enough you'll know."

I nodded, looking at myself in the mirror. Something was always different about me compared to the other boys, everybody knew that. I've always been into more feminine things, I was always made fun of that, called a pussy or a girl. B-but maybe that's just because I really was a girl.

"Is someone expecting you somewhere?" Gerard asked.

"No," I said. "Prom night, I had gotten a hotel room for me and my girlfriend for the night."

I blushed softly and he smiled.

"Maybe you can stay the night here," Gerard said. "You probably won't discover yourself in one night but maybe I can help you a little bit."

I looked at him nervously.

"I know I'm just a stranger but I promise that I won't hurt you or anything," he said. "Come on, I can't even do a push up. I'm pretty sure you could beat me in a fight any day so I don't think I would even try attacking you."

I nodded nervously and he smiled.

"Are you hungry?" Gerard asked. "I can order some food for us, there's this really good restaurant a few blocks down that have really good chicken and potatoes."

"I'm vegetarian," I said.

"They've got some pretty good vegetarian stuff too," he said.

I nodded and Gerard ordered food for us.

"I'm gonna go get changed and stuff, you can grab a shower if you want," he said.

He showed me the bathroom and showered me where everything was.

"I'm going to leave some clothes for you in the guest bedroom," Gerard said.

I nodded my head and got into the shower after he walked out. I didn't spend long in there, most of my time was just spent standing there completely reevaluating my life. When I was done I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to the guest room. I saw a pile of clothes and the first thing I saw on top was a pair of panties. Next to the pile was a note.

You don't have to wear these clothes if you don't want to. There's other clothes over on the dresser if you want to wear those instead. Or you can wear a mix of them, you can do whatever you want.

I looked through the stack on the bed and found just the lavender cotton panties, a pair of baby blue soft sleeping shorts and a soft white shirt that had a little black cartoon cat on it. It was pretty clear that these were girl clothes.

On the dresser was a pair of boxers, grey sweatpants and a baggy dark green t-shirt. I looked between them nervously. I've always wanted something like this, these cute little pajamas like all the pretty girls in the magazines wore.

I finally just put on the cute little pajamas and smiled softly. I looked in the mirror, running my fingers through my short hair. It was down to nearly just a buzzcut. I could see myself growing it out, maybe not down to my ass or anything but maybe down to my shoulders or something, just as long as it's not too hard to take care of or anything.

I went out and heard the echoing sound of the tv down the hall. I went out and saw Gerard sitting on the couch as he watched tv. He had taken off all his makeup and changed his clothes. He was just wearing a pair of batman pajama pants and a black t-shirt. His skin was clean and pale and he had the prettiest hazel colored eyes.

"Food should be here any minute now," Gerard said.

I sat down beside him and looked at the tv. He was watching some sitcom I didn't recognize. I looked around at the small apartment curiously. It was simple but nice, books stacked everywhere.

Gerard got the food when the delivery man came and the two of us ate quietly. I didn't realize how tired I was until after we were both done. Maybe it was just the hunger that was keeping me going and now that I have a belly full of food I can just hibernate.

"Gerard, do you think I'm going to be able to figure myself out?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think you will," he said.

"I've always known I was different than the other boys in my class, I never really felt like I belonged in my own skin," I said. "I was never really like them. I always acted differently from them and they didn't like that, they always told me I acted like a girl. My dad also used to say I was too girly to really be his son, he was always telling me to man up. He didn't want me acting so girly and wimpy all the time."

"You don't have to be a wimp just because you're a girl," he said. "Girls are fucking tough. They bleed out of their bodies for a week every month and literally grow humans inside them then push them out very painfully."

I nodded but really only paid attention to the beginning, the part where he called me a girl. There was something about it that just seemed so right. Me, a girl.

I smiled, looking over at Gerard.

"How do those clothes feel?" He asked. "Are the panties okay? If you don't get the right size they can be quite uncomfortable."

"No, it's okay, they're comfy," I said. "Comfier than boxers."

Gerard nodded, leaning back against the couch.

""Do you think you'd want surgery?" Gerard asked.

"If I'm trans then doesn't that mean that I have to have surgery?" I asked.

"No, definitely not," he said. "You can do whatever you want with your body, Frankie."

"I-I like it when you call me a girl, it seems so right but to actually say I want to be a girl seems so definitive and it kind of scares me a little bit," I admitted.

"You can take your time, Frankie," he said. "Some people tell stories about how, like, they realized they were trans and cut off all their hair and had surgery within like a month. But not only does it take time for people around them to adjust it also may take some time for the individual to adjust too. It's a big change even if they knew it in their hearts the whole time. For you to go from Frank, normal high school teenage boy, to Frankie, transgender student, is a big change for you and it probably will take some time for you to adjust to it."

"What if I want to wear some of my old clothes?" I asked. "I-I feel like I'm asking a lot of stupid questions, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it's okay," he said. "Your gender identity is different from your gender expression. Just because you're a girl it doesn't mean you have to dress like that all the time."

Just because you're a girl.

I'm a girl? I-I think I like that.

"If you do drag does that mean you're trans?" I asked.

"No, it doesn't," he said. "I'm a man and I'm comfortable being a man. Drag is something artistic that I just enjoy doing, it is very expressive and I just love every second off it."

I nodded, looking down.

"I know one thing you can do," he said. "Something that some trans women enjoy doing when they can't afford to actually transition. They like to shave their legs."

"Shave their legs?" I asked.

"Yeah, because girls typically shave their legs," Gerard said. "I mean, they don't have to, obviously, there's not rule saying that girls need to shave their legs but the majority of women do shave their legs and the smooth softness of it helps trans women to feel more feminine."

I nodded my head and he smiled softly. "I think you should go to bed, you look like you're about to fall asleep at any moment."

I nodded again, sleepily standing up. I went back to my bedroom and smiled as I laid down in the soft bed. After the eventful day I went through it was only a few seconds before I was completely passed out.

When I woke up I wish that I had never woken up. My phone was bursting with notifications, all of them just people laughing at me and the pictures of me wearing a dress. The worst was texts from my dad, telling me to never come home.

I could hear the sound of glasses and silverware clinking together in the other room. I closed my eyes, trying to push back the tears. I know that I have never really been fond of my dad and I always dreamed about leaving him but it still hurt. Now I'm here and I can't go home. I was going to have to live on the streets homeless.

I knew he wouldn't be happy with me wearing the dress to prom but I didn't think that he would find out. Someone really sent my own father a picture of me at prom wearing that damn dress. There was a soft knock on the door and I looked over.

"Come in," I said.

Gerard opened the door and smiled softly.

"Sorry to bother you but I just have a question," he said. "And it may be a stupid question too. Do you eat eggs? I'm trying to make breakfast and I know that some vegetarians don't eat eggs and I just wanted to make sure."

"Yeah, I eat eggs," I said.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, m-my dad just found out I wore a dress to my prom and so he kicked me out," I said quietly.

"Don't worry, you can stay here," he said.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "I-I don't want to intrude or anything. You don't have to do that."

"Of course it's okay, Honey," he said. "I mean, I can really help you if you're here. I've got some pretty good money and plenty of clothes, enough for probably three people. And plenty of feminine clothes if you'd like that."

I nodded softly, clutching my blanket to my chest.

"I was gonna make some blueberry pancakes," he said. "How do you take your eggs?"

"Sunny side up," I replied.

Gerard nodded and gave me a soft smile that somehow helped me relax.

"I put some clothes on the dresser while you were sleeping," he said.

Gerard left and shut the door and I went over to look at the clothes. There were multiple stacks of clothes and a note similar to the one from last one. One pile just had a pair of jeans and an old Nirvana shirt. Another had a soft black skirt, a white sweater and a pair of white thigh high socks. The third one just had a pair of black skinny jeans and a pink sweater. The last one had a simple baby blue dress.

I considered wearing the dress but instead chose the one with the skirt because it seemed a little bit warmer. It was spring and although it was starting to get warmer out but it was still chilly and the dark clouds hanging over the city wasn't helping the warmth at all. I put the clothes on and looked in the mirror, smiling softly.

"Good morning," Gerard said when I walked into the kitchen. "Food is almost ready."

I nodded and sat down at the counter.

"You look very cute," he said.

I smiled softly as I blushed. I've never heard a comment like that about myself before. I've been told I'm hot and handsome--usually just from my girlfriend--but I've never been called cute and I really liked it.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

Gerard smiled. "Do you want some coffee?"

I nodded and Gerard handed me a mug of coffee. I drank quietly while I watched him cook. Finally he handed me a plate and I felt my stomach rumble. We ate quietly together and I looked over at him. Gerard had such soft skin and and beautiful eyes with a big mix of colors. He looked over at me and I blushed as I looked down.

"Are you okay?" Gerard asked softly. "I mean, you were kicked out of your house and broken up with within less than twelve hours."

"I-I don't know," I mumbled. "Maybe none of it has really settled in yet. I mean, my girlfriend and I haven't been dating for too long and I guess it's like you said, I'm better off because I don't need that negativity in my life, I just want to be myself. And I guess that situation is the same with my dad. He's never really been supportive of me at all, he always called me a pussy. He even said I wasn't a real man because I cried when I watched my mom die."

"Well, your dad sounds like a real asshole," Gerard said. "How old were you when she passed away?"

"It was last year," Frank said. "I was only seventeen. I even got these tattoos just to prove to try and prove to him that I was a real man and to try and show him that I was tough. I mean, I like them and I always kind of wanted tattoos but a big reason was just him always calling me a pussy and stuff."

"You don't need to prove anything to him," Gerard said. "He's a fucking dick and you are going to do so much better now that he isn't in your life."

I nodded slowly, eating the pancakes. Gerard was a pretty good cook, I haven't had pancakes this good ever since my mom died.

"So, I was thinking that maybe we can go out for coffee or something with some friends of mine," Gerard suggested. "Maybe they can help you discover yourself a bit."

I nodded my head and the two of us hung around his house for a little bit as we just talked and I got to know him a lot more, realizing that we actually had a lot more in common than I thought we would.

"Gerard, c-can you do my makeup again before we leave?" I asked.

"Of course I can," he said.

I sat at the vanity and I smiled as Gerard did my makeup again. It was simpler this time with my contour done perfect again. There was some light brown eyeshadow on my eyes and some black winged eyeliner again with black mascara. He topped it off with some light pink lip gloss and I smiled.

"Now, well we're there do you want me to use she/her pronouns?" Gerard asked. "It can sort of test it out for you to see how you really feel about it."

"Yeah, that's okay," I said.

Gerard smiled and we went out, walking to a nearby coffee place. We ordered our drinks before joining a group of people at a little table in the corner of the building.

"Hey, this is my friend, Frankie, she's gonna be living with me for a little bit," Gerard said.

She.

I think I like it.

"Frankie, this is Brendon, Ryan and Lindsey," Gerard said. "Brendon actually does drag with me."

I gave them a shy smile as I sat down next to Gerard.

"And Lindsey is actually transgender," he added.

"Really?" I asked, I wouldn't have guessed.

She doesn't look transgender.

But I guess that's the point.

And I guess that's also pretty rude of me to say. I don't know anything really about any of  this and I don't know what's okay to say and what's not okay to say.

"That's right, male to female," she said. "Pretty good surgery, huh?"

I nodded, looking down at my cup.

"I can give you my surgeon's number, she's pretty cheap but she does some really good work," she said.

I nodded before I even really thought about it. All I thought about was me in a different body that made me feel so much better about myself. Maybe in a body where I actually felt like I belonged.

"You should come to one of our drag shows," Brendon said. "I do drag full time but Gerard only does it on the side. We usually have a shows on Saturday but not usually every saturday. You should come and you can hang out with Ryan and Lindsey in the crowd."

I nodded my head, smiling softly.

"What do you do for a living, Gerard?" I asked.

"He's a prostitute," Ryan said.

I raised my eyebrows, looking over at him in shock.

"No, I'm not a prostitute," he said, rolling his eyes. "I work in graphic design, I design things for companies and stuff like that."

I nodded my head, smiling softly.

"That's pretty cool," I said.

Gerard nodded, taking a drink of his coffee.

"What about you, Frankie, what do you do?" Brendon asked.

"Uh, just High School, I guess," I said.

The thought of that made my heart stop for a moment. I still had to go back to that school, that shitty, shitty school and see everyone again on Monday. Monday...that's tomorrow.

"Really, how old are you?" Lindsey asked.

"Eighteen," I said.

That's right, eighteen, I can just drop out then because I'm eighteen.

"Well, I think you're gonna love living with Gerard," Ryan said. "He's really funny and nice. We lived together for a little bit when we were roomates and it was great because he's pretty good at cooking so he just always made food for me."

I giggled quietly, looking over at Gerard. He looked back at me with a small, sweet smile. We talked with his friends for a little bit longer before we left. We got back to thee hotel and I sat down on the couch.

"D-do you think that maybe I can talk with Lindsey again?" I asked. "But, like, more privately. I feel like maybe she could help me a lot because she's also transgender and she was, like, a boy before and right now I'm just not really sure what to do about myself because I'm a boy too but never really felt like a normal boy, not like any of the other boys. All I know was that I loved things that are usually seen as girly and stuff. I never really knew just what to do about myself. M-Maybe talking to her can help me because she was once in the same situation as me."

"Yeah, I think that sounds fine, she seemed to really like you," Gerard said. "And she's pretty open about this stuff which is good. Some people are just, like, don't talk about anything pre-transition but Lindsey isn't like that, she's open about anything you could ever really want to know. Anything just about transgender people in general or things about her personally. One time she literally asked me if I wanted to see her vagina so she could show me what a nice job her surgeon did."

I giggled quietly and he blushed.

"I denied the offer, obviously," Gerard said. "She's pretty and all but I don't think I would want to see her like that, she's just a friend so I'm pretty sure it would be just a little bit awkward."

"Just a little," I said with a quiet chuckle.

Gerard smiled, setting his phone down onto the coffee table as he sat down next to me on the couch.

"Gerard, what about school?" I asked. "My high school is half an hour away. I can just drop out."

"You shouldn't drop out," Gerard said. "I mean, if you really need to then you can but you shouldn't. We'll check to see if the high school here let's you enroll without a parent because you're eighteen. And if you can't then I can just drive you there to the school."

Drive...my car!

"My car is still at the building where prom was held," I said.

"Alright, we'll go pick it up," Gerard said. "You have your keys, sweetheart?"

"Uh y-yeah, I left them back in the guest room," I said.

"Not the guest room anymore, it's your room," he said.

I nodded, biting my lip.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"I'm twenty-two," he said.

"Do you still go to college?" I asked.

"No, I already graduated," he said.

I nodded, fidgeting with my fingers.

"Are you okay, Frankie?" He asked.

"I-I think so," I said. "But I know that everything is just going to, like, settle in all at once and it's going to fucking hurt but right now I'm just still in shock a bit I think."

"Has your Dad or your girlfriend tried to contact you at all?" Gerard asked.

"No, they haven't," I said. "They don't really care about me at all I guess."

"I'm sorry, Frankie," Gerard said. "Hey, but now there's gonna be so much more people who will care about you for the girl that you are."

I smiled softly, my cheeks growing warm as I blushed.

"I-I think I like it when you call me a girl," I said quietly. "All my life people have been calling me a girl but in a bad way but you don't, you call me a girl in a good way."

"It is a good thing," he said. "There isn't anything wrong with being a girl. Boys always do that, call people a girl like it's a bad thing. Girls are the toughest fucking people ever."

I smiled softly and nodded my head.

"My mom too, she was badass, she's the only person I know who would ever have the courage to stand up to my dad," I said. "And my dad listened to her without a second thought. She's the only person he would ever actually listen to and take orders from."

Gerard smiled softly and reached over to hold my hand.

"I just want you to know before everything really settles in that everything is going to be okay," he said. "Because there's probably going to be a low point after it settles in and I want you to know that everything will be okay and that I'm going to be here for anything you need. I'll take care of you and you can stay here for as long as you want."

I nodded my head and he gave me a soft smile, gently squeezing my hand.

"Thank you," I said. "Thank you so much, Gerard."

Gerard smiled, leaning back against the couch.

"Alright, do you wanna watch a movie and we'll eat lunch?" He asked.

I nodded my head and he went over to the fridge. I watched him make a quick lunch before the two of us were sitting on the couch watching a movie. I kept glancing at my phone hoping that maybe Jamia or my dad would've messaged me and telling me that they're sorry and they didn't mean anything that they had said before. But of course I didn't get anything and I knew that I was really all alone.

"Frankie, stop," Gerard said softly. "This is just going to make it harder on you."

I nodded my head, putting my phone away.

"Gerard, a-are you gay?" I asked. "I don't wanna be rude but I'm just curious."

"No, I'm not gay, I'm pan," he said.

"Oh, I think I'm bi," I said. "I've always liked girls and I knew that but I also liked boys but I've never told anyone about that because then I know that everybody would hate that. But I've never been with a guy before so maybe I'm wrong and I don't actually like boys."

"You think you're a bottom?" Gerard asked curiously.

"A bottom?" I asked in confusion.

"A bottom would be the one to, like, be fucked during sex," he explained. "And a top would be the one to do the fucking."

"Oh," I mumbled, blushing softly. "I-I don't know, I'm the one to do the fucking with my girlfriend so maybe I would just be a top then?"

"You don't have to be a top just because you fuck your girlfriend," he said. "It's surprisingly nice to be a bottom."

"Are you a bottom?" I asked.

"I've bottomed occasionally but I'm the one that typically tops," he said.

"I want to be able to explore my sexuality because this is the first time I've really been able to do that," I said.

"Well, I'm sure you'll find a lot more opportunities to do that," Gerard said. "And my friends and I are here to help you through anything at all that you need."

"Thank you, Gerard," I said.

He smiled over at me, reaching over to give my hand a soft squeeze.

"I think that you're gonna be able to grow now that you aren't around all those negative people," Gerard said. "I can just tell that you're gonna do amazing things and you're gonna grow into a beautiful, beautiful woman."

I blushed softly, looking down at my lap. I liked that a lot, a beautiful woman. That could really be me, a beautiful woman.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay here?" I asked. "I don't want to be a burden or anything. I'm sure I could just find some shelter to crash at or something."

"Don't be crazy, I would seriously love for you to stay here with me," Gerard said. "And I'm not just gonna send you out to some homeless shelter. I'm not a dick or anything. You can seriously stay here for as long as you want."

I smiled, nodding my head.

"And I'm here to help you through your transition," he said. "Anything you need physically or emotionally I'll be here for you."

"Thank you, Gerard, thank you for everything," I said.

Now that he was here I was finally going to be able to have the life I wanted and be just who I was without being told to man up all the time. I can actually just be a woman.