Chapter 11
Why did she have to be so damn perceptive?
Because she's a Sigyn, you idiot Loki's subconscious spoke with his own voice when he was putting himself down. It only spoke with Sig's voice when it was being his consciousness (when he deigned to have one). When he was calling himself an idiot, especially in this circumstance when it was a logical failing not a moral one, it was his own voice doing it, it was his own voice doing it. Loki's mind was like a bag full of cats and didn't make sense to anyone but himself. It was better that way.
"I'm not her," the Lady said.
So many messages in those three little words. So many meanings besides the obvious. She wasn't trying to hurt Loki with her words, that much was clear in her tone. Her tone was gentle, hesitant even. She didn't want to hurt Loki, much as she needed to get this point across now. She wouldn't have brought it up if it hadn't been a need on her part. Loki saw that in the determination in her eyes. It was the same spark of determination that he remembered from his Sigyn's eyes. This was important to her then. So he would give those three little words the weight they deserved.
She was her own person. She may have Sigyn's soul residing within her. She may have some of Sigyn's mannerisms and it would be damn near impossible for Loki not to respond automatically to those mannerisms. She had lived her own life up to this point. She had experienced different things. She didn't have Sigyn's memories. She wasn't his Sigyn.
No matter how much he might want her to be, she wasn't.
But if he could accept that, she was there, not a replacement, never a replacement, but a chance to get to know this new Sigyn.
Loki inclined his head. He would do anything to keep the chance to get to know this new Sigyn. His Sigyn had never steered him wrong. She had told him it was time, so as difficult as it was, he would heed her word and take this step. It helped tremendously that she had led him back to her own soul in a new body. Wise Sigyn indeed. He would cherish this opportunity. "I understand that, drotning. Her soul resides within you, but you are your own person. A person that I would very much like to get to know, if you will permit me?" His words were careful. He didn't want to spook her, but she deserved the truth. He needed to acknowledge that he understood that she was her own person.
It was a delicate balance that Loki himself was still working out.
His Sigyn had given him a damn difficult challenge. Not that he would ever criticize his love.
He waited with bated breath to see how the Lady would reply, hoping she wouldn't shut him out entirely. Instead, she gave him a warm and reassuring smile, one so much like his Sigyn's when he was being particularly doltish. "I'd like to get to know you too,"
Loki felt himself relax at those words and walked her the rest of the way to her room. He hesitated outside her door. The Lady noticed his hesitation. She was so damn perceptive. She rolled her eyes. "Let me guess. This is the part where the big strong Asgardian warrior wants to check my room for intruders, but you're too polite to ask?" She asked as she leaned against the wall next to her door and summoned a book as if she had nowhere to be. At least she hadn't assumed he was trying for a goodnight kiss. Loki wasn't that stupid. He had barely met her.
"How-?" He started to ask her. There was no way she should have known what he was trying to figure out how to ask her for. It was Asgardian culture, not something a Midgardian should have known about. Nor something he should really have an instinct to do for a Lady he was not courting, but that was a different problem.
"My mother gave me a very thorough education about Norse mythology, including Asgardian culture," she explained. That made absolutely no sense in Loki's opinion and he would have to press her further about her mother later as he was getting the sinking suspicion that she was an Asgardian hiding out on Midgard for some reason. The Lady flipped the page in her book, in a very Loki-like way, as if pointedly ignoring him. "Now would you like to check my room for intruders, or are we going to hang out in the hallway all night?" She asked.
Loki chuckled and stepped into her room at her invitation. He had been in there all afternoon helping her put her new things away so he knew her room well and it didn't take long to sweep it for intruders or other nasty surprises. He felt her shielding on the suite and he approved of her measures to keep herself safe. He left her room when he was sure it was safe, reassured that the Lady would be protected, especially when he was just across the hall.
She closed her book when he exited the room. "All safe?" She asked, though she clearly knew the answer if he had left the suite. When he nodded, she started for her room. "Goodnight, Loki,"
Loki caught her hand in his and bowed over it, brushing his lips against her knuckles in a perfectly polite and not at all romantic gesture. "Goodnight, drotning,"
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