I'M BREATHLESS AS ARCHIE rests his head on my chest, both of us spent with exhaustion.

Having enjoyed an amazing day at the Knicks game, ending it completely naked in Archie's bed, again, had not been where I had expected my evening to go.

I don't know what came over me. I don't know what came over us. Both here and at the game, there was something that neither of us could ignore anymore... because we've both been ignoring it for two weeks.

I thought it was fine. I had squashed it down and told myself it was fine, and it was. It had been. There was no awkwardness, no tension, and then all of a sudden, it all just boiled over and neither of us could control it.

But did I want to control it?

If I was being honest, the more I thought about it now, the more I realised I may not want to.

I didn't want to admit it to anyone, but Archie's kiss at the game meant more to me than I would ever openly let on. I didn't want to be the first to admit that I have been in agony each and every day since we slept together two weeks ago.

I didn't want to admit that I wanted his lips on mine for the rest of my life. Remembering what it feels like to be held by him, to hear him whisper my name, to have him look at me the like I was the centre of his world... it's something I never want to let go of.

I threw caution to the wind that split second before our mouths collided. I threw everything I'd had with Jamie aside, because it's Archie. Deep down I knew, despite what I was doing, this was who I belong with.

I smile as a soft snore comes from underneath the blanket.

He has his head on my stomach, wrapped around me, and I forgot how much I loved it when he did that. His arm is holding me tightly, protectively.

I risk a peek at him and smile wider. He looks so carefree when he sleeps. He looks almost younger, like there's no weight on his bare, beautifully muscular shoulders. As I watch, he's just a normal boy, and I'm a normal girl, both madly in love with the other.

Running my hand through his hair, I hear a soft moan come up from him. He loves it when I play with his hair, tugging it. It's wet at the bottom from our exertions, but it's soft and fluffy, as it always is after he has a shower. I take a deep breath and breathe in his orangey scent, the smells and sensations sending me back in time, back to that first night held me in his arms and showed me how much he loved me. Back in time to when we just held each other, and nothing else mattered.

As I listen to his breathing, matching my breaths to his, the last three years with Jamie simply melt away in front of me. I feel his lips kiss my stomach gently, but soon, I'm joining him in slumber, falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.

***

BOTH ARCHIE AND I jump awake when a loud, shrill noise rings from across the room.

Trying to get my bearings, I realise we're in the living room, underneath a fleecy blanket that Archie keeps on the back of the huge sofa.

"Who is it?" he groans, his voice still husky from sleep.

His hair is sticking up in all directions and he looks completely adorable as he rubs his eyes.

I stretch to grab my phone from the opposite side of the coffee table.

Frowning at it, the number isn't one I recognise, but it's an Essex number. I'd put in a few applications before I left, so it may be someone finally coming back to me.

"Hello, Tessa Granger speaking." I try to sound like I've been up for ages.

"Hi Tessa, my name is Melanie and I'm a St John's Ambulance paramedic, and I'm a friend of your dad's."

The voice I hear isn't what I'm expecting, and as she continues, I'm frozen in place. Panic settles over me as I go over the word 'ambulance' in my head, and her saying that she's with Dad. What the hell has happened?

"Wha... What ha-happened?" I manage to get out, my lip quivering as my hands start to shake. Archie frowns and sits closer, putting an arm around my shoulder. "Is... Is he o-o-okay?"

Silence for a moment, and I know he isn't okay.

Oh my God.

"He has collapsed at work. Now, I don't want you to worry okay. He's conscious and talking, but we've just brought him in for a few tests, and as a precaution. He just wanted me to ring you to let you know, and to tell you he's okay."

Dad had been completely overcome by his cough before I left. He looked so fragile and frail, but yet he still made sure I went to see Archie. Something was definitely wrong, and yet I ignored it.

"Collapsed? How? When?" It's the only word I can process from her sentence. And even though she has said he's okay, I've known Dad to downplay things that have been quite serious.

"Earlier today. We're taking him in as a precaution, just routine tests to run."

I couldn't believe this was happening whilst I was three-thousand miles away.

"Can I talk to him?" I ask, tears falling down my cheeks.

She sounds so calm, and I think if I listen hard enough, I can hear Dad's voice in the background, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he had collapsed, and even if he says he's okay, there was no actual guarantee that he was actually okay.

"He's having tests done at the moment, but he said he will call as soon as he can, okay."

She's quiet for a moment as the words sink in again.

"He doesn't want you to worry," she says again. "I'm going to stay right here with him. But are you anywhere near home?" she asks. "He may be here for a few days. Maybe you can bring him some clothes?"

A few days? Clothes?

Oh God.

"Cl- I'm in New York," I sob. "I-I can't..." I cry as I drop my head into my hands, dropping the phone.

Archie's lips touch the side of my head as his arm goes around my shoulder. I want to be strong, I want to show that I'm strong, but I can't. It's my dad. I can't lose my dad.

"I can get... I don't..." I mumble to myself, trying to string together any form of useful plan.

I don't know what to do. First she's calm and telling me he's fine, and then she wants me to come and bring him clothes because he'll be in for a few days. If he needs clothes, he's clearly not well.

"I can get you home." I hear Archie's soft voice in my ear. "Tess, I can get you home."

I've lost it. I'm now shaking uncontrollably all over, and my whole body has gone cold with dread. I have forgotten how to think, how to speak. I can feel my mouth moving, but nothing is coming out.

"Tessa?" I hear the phone on the floor but I can't move to pick it up. "Tessa, can you hear me?"

Archie's lips touch the side of my head again before he picks my phone up from the floor. He puts the phone to his ear and wraps his warm arm around me, holding me close.

"Hi Melanie?"

I don't hear her response. I can't hear anything anymore.

My head is enveloped in white noise as my ears start to ring. I don't see or hear anything for what feels like hours before I can finally focus on Archie kneeling in front of me. He has his hands on my cheeks, his thumbs gently stroking some feeling back into them, his calming caramel eyes guiding me back into the safe harbour of his arms.

"Tess, listen to me baby. I can get you home, okay. Today. But he is okay. He'll be okay."

My eyes focus in on his before I wrap my arms tightly around his shoulders. "I can't lose him, Archie. I can't l-lose him."

He shakes his head. "You won't. Tess, Andy will be fine. He's strong, and he's young. He's going to be fine, trust me."

I pull away as I look at him again, looking into his eyes so he can't lie to me. "How can you be so sure?" I cough out a sob and breathe in a raggedy breath.

"I just know okay." He leans up and kisses my forehead, holding his lips there for a few seconds. "I have a sixth sense about these things."

He winks at me, probably trying to get a small laugh out of me, but it just comes out as another sob.

I feel helpless, unable to move, my whole body frozen in place. But Archie isn't fazed. He simply smiles at me, a beautiful, strong, sun-filled smile, before he kisses my nose and leans back with a sigh.

"Here's what we're going to do, okay. We're going to go and get you dressed, I'm going to get us a plane home, and then you're going to see your dad. You're going to see Andy."

He doesn't give me any time to ask any questions before he whisks me into his arms, carrying me into my room.

Putting me down on the bed, he holds up a finger before disappearing, returning now dressed in boxers and jeans, carrying my clothes in his arms.

Very gently, he helps me get dressed. Finding my bra amongst the discarded clothes, he helps me get that on first before finding me a clean shirt in the drawer. He finds clean knickers, trousers and a hoodie, guiding them on without hesitation. After I'm dressed, he gently pulls my hair back into a pony tail, knowing my hair in my face stresses me out, gently massaging my scalp as he does so, trying to bring any form of calm and solace to me as he can.

Slowly, I feel my wits coming back to me. I can feel myself coming back into the world as I focus on his hands, his fingers, his lips, his breathing. I focus on him. If I focus on him, I won't focus on the fact my dad is in hospital.

"Okay, you're all good. How you feeling?"

I try to nod but it doesn't work. My head doesn't move. I just stare at him.

"Do you want me to pack anything?" he asks softly.

He doesn't wait for an answer but rather just whirls around my bedroom, throwing stuff into my bag. Amazingly, he seems to have got everything, so I try to force myself to do something to help.

"I can do that," I mumble, putting my hand on his to stop him. I knew how everything fit, and I know that this will be a distraction. A very welcome one at this point.

"You sure?"

I nod back at him and give him the strongest smile I can manage.

He answers by kissing me quickly on my lips and pushes off the floor. "I'm going to get dressed and I'll call Pete about getting you home."

My eyes widen as I realise he only said 'you'. I couldn't do this by myself. I wasn't strong enough.

"Are you..." I start, tears pooling in my eyes again at the thought of being on an eight-hour flight on my own. "Are you not..."

Of course, he knows what I'm thinking before I can get it out.

"Oh no, I'm coming. Gosh, I wouldn't leave you by yourself after this. I'm coming, and I'll stay with you for as long as you need me to."

The words wash over me like a shower of warm water, after a snowstaorm, and relief settles inside me as I put my arms around his neck again. He tucks his face into the crook of my neck, kissing the side of it, before he looks up at me.

"Thank you," I sob. "You have n-"

He stops me by pushing his lips to mine for a few seconds. When he pulls back, he pecks my nose one more time.

"You have nothing to thank me for. Let's just get you back to your dad, okay."

I nod, hoping I look more sure of myself than I am.

He leaves me for a few minutes, but I focus on what I can hear.

He's in the living room, drawers opening, and he's on the phone. Every few minutes, he comes back in to check on me, and when he sees I'm all packed, he helps me bring my bag into the living room and steers me onto the sofa.

He holds his phone to his ear the whole time, but soon we both hear a voice on the other end. When he smiles, I know he has the answer he wanted.

"Yeah, I'm here. Ahh that's so great."

I hear Lisa list off a few details that Archie writes down, including the airport, the time and what looks like a car number plate.

"Erm, coming back?" He looks down at me. "I'm not sure. No, the plane can go back as soon as we're off it. I can get a flight back. I know Pete needs it for Australia next week, so please don't worry about me."

Through the fog of fear, I am so proud of him. He sounds so business-like and grown up. And he sounds so respectful, especially compared to how I've heard Jamie on the phone, shouting. Kind and caring, you can hear how thankful he is, and they have no idea how grateful I am as well. I don't have any words for how grateful I am.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm okay. It's a family emergency," he says, and my heart jumps slightly as he says family. "I'll give you a ring later on, thank you Lisa. Seriously, thank you."

He puts an arm around my shoulder and I hug myself into him as tight as I can. Using the soothing action of his fingers, my heart rate slows, and calm starts to wash over me.

"Three o'clock. Lisa, that is fantastic. Thank you. And all we need are our passports, yeah? No tickets?"

She confirms so.

"You are a legend. Thank you," he says again. "And please thank Pete for me. I'll give him a ring later too."

They say their goodbyes before he hangs up and kisses my forehead, turning me around to face him.

"Flight's at three. We've got the jet into Heathrow, and Lisa's booked a car for us to go straight to the hospital okay. All sorted."

A huge sigh of relief comes out of me as I climb onto his lap, hugging him harder than I'd ever hugged anybody.

"Thank you," I say softly. I lean back and push my fingers into his hair as he looks at me.

He brushes my fringe back behind my ear again and gives me my favourite, lopsided smile.

"Thank you so much. I'm sorry I'm such a burden."

He puts a finger against my lips. "Hey, you aren't a burden. You could never be, okay." Smiling, he leans down to kiss my lips lightly. "Is that all ready?" He points to my suitcase next to me and I nod. "Okay cool, I'll pop it by the door. Are you hungry? Or can I make you a tea or get you anything?"

I shake my head. "Is it... is it okay if we just go to the... to the airport?" I ask sheepishly.

We would be so early, as it's just gone ten now, but maybe we wouldn't have to wait long by the time we got to JFK. I just wanted to be closer to Dad. "I think that would help me feel better."

He doesn't hesitate. "Yeah, of course. Let me just pack my laptop and stuff, and we can go. Don't worry, Tess. Everything will be okay."

I knew it would be because I trusted him implicitly. His eyes weren't lying. Everything would be okay. And as he takes me by my hand and leads me out the door, both of us pulling our suitcases, I was finally starting to believe it.