"SO..." CHARLOTTE BEGINS, TAKING a careful swig of her mojito before fixing her gaze back on me.

"So," I sigh.

"So... what's brought all this on?"

I really wanted to say that I had no idea what had brought this on, but that would have been a lie, and I didn't want to lie to her. I knew exactly what had brought this on. Hearing his voice in my head a few months ago, seeing his pictures today, Jamie starting his new job... so many things were going on, or changing, so my mind just automatically goes to a safe space. It goes to him.

"Dad showed me a picture of him this morning."

It wasn't how it all started but it was at least partially true.

"He just showed you?"

"Well, he was showing me pictures Millie sent, and one had slipped in there." I look down at my drink before taking a strengthening sip. "I can tell he's still hurting, Char. And not just because he had bruises all over his face."

"Bruises?" Her eyes widen as she puts her drink down. "What?"

I sigh. "Dad said he'd been mugged."

"Mugged? Wait, didn't he-"

"Say that last time? Yeah." I sigh again. "But that's just it. He's hurting, I can tell, not even by looking at those photos. I can just tell, and I'm not supposed to know that..."

That connection Archie and I have is stronger than it has ever been after seeing him in my dreams. Now I know that he will talk to me if I come, it only makes my resolve stronger to see him, so that we can both move on once and for all.

"Tess, you look like you have something on your mind," she tells me, and I can't help but smile.

"I do. And it's to do with Jamie and me... and Archie."

"You, Jamie and Archie?" She quirks an eyebrow at me. "That's a scary combination."

"Yes. And before you ask, it's not what it looks like." I close my eyes and lift my left hand above the table to see. "It's because of this."

It takes a second, but the squeal that erupts out of her makes me and the six tables around us jump.

"WHAT?!"

I open my eyes and she's trying and failing to hold herself back, because a few seconds later I'm almost flattened to the floor.

"You're engaged?" She shouts, hugging me so tight I can barely breathe before she pulls my hand up to examine the ring.

"Yeah, he asked me about a month ago, just before we came back home," I say sheepishly, looking at her to see her reaction at my delay, as I know she told me first. In fairness, I have still told her first, after Mum and Dad. She doesn't seem mad, just examining the ring, so I keep going. "But with all that's going on, I didn't want to say anything."

"All that's going on? Tessa, forget everything else! This is huge!" She's got tears in her eyes.

"I know. And I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

She smiles and shakes her head. "Tess, you don't have to be sorry."

"I know, but you told-"

"Tess, you don't have to do exactly what I do. Plus it's your news, you can take as long as you like with it!"

She had told me the day it happened, but she's right.

"I took longer to tell family than friends, but I think each couple needs their own time to tell people in their own way. But I bet you guys didn't know that Danny actually proposed to me the year before that?"

I raise my eyebrows. That I definitely didn't know.

"Really?" My eyes are wide and it's her turn for her cheeks to redden.

"Yeah, he asked me mid way through third year - your third year. I didn't say anything because we didn't want people to judge us for getting engaged so young, so we decided to wait until at least Danny was finished," she shrugs. "It was only a few months if you really think about it, but still."

"Char, no one would have judged you. You and Danny have been in love since you were fourteen. It was inevitable," I joke.

After the proposal, once we all knew, when her feet touched the ground, she surprised with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers in Edinburgh at home. These were accompanied by a specially-made bar of Dairy Milk which spelled out 'MOH?' on the wrapper. It took me a minute or two to work out what MOH meant to start with, but when it clicked I couldn't contain myself. I screamed so loud Jamie came running out of the shower in a panic, his hair still full of shampoo, thinking something was wrong.

"It's weird to think I've been with Danny for ten years, huh."

"Ten years?" I question and she nods.

"Well, nearly. Ten years by the time we're married at Christmas."

I smile wider. "I'm so happy for you, Char. I'm going to keep telling you, until the end of time."

She giggles. "Please do." She takes my hand. "But right now we need to work out what we're doing about Archie." My smile disappears for a moment so I turn to my drink again.

"We?" I ask, gratefully taking her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Of course it's we. Danny too."

"Have I ever told you I love you?"

"Yes, all the time." She winks at me.

I grin at her for a moment, but then my face falls and I groan. "How did I ever let it get this bad?"

Charlotte shakes her head. "Tess, none of this is your fault, okay. It's all him. And I still can't believe he would do that to be honest."

"I can," I say quickly. "I completely understand. But I just thought he would be able to come home by now..."

"You know how Archie massively overthinks everything. And I'm sure, because he's shut himself off, he thinks he has no chance now that he's been away for so long?"

"He's always had a chance, Char. But for me, I just don't understand how he's found it so easy to stay away. You know?"

Charlotte doesn't say anything but she nods, understanding.

"Even though having Jamie around has helped hugely, I still think about him most days."

What I didn't say was that, if you looked at my heart, there was an Archie-shaped hole there. If you looked deeper, you'd be able to see the tear underneath it that has been growing steadily wider since I moved back home... since having that dream.

"I spoke to Millie about it," Charlotte says when it's been quiet for nearly a minute.

"You have?" I ask, not mentioning I'd spoken to her too.

"Yeah," she says with a nod. "And she's never understood it either." It's exactly what she's always said to me.

Stubborn, I think to myself.

"But she also thinks there might be something else stopping him."

"Stopping him? Like what?" I ask, and my voice comes out more annoyed than I'd wanted it to.

"She's not sure, and I wouldn't know either. Did something happen before he left? Or before you left? Did you guys leave on bad terms?"

It had been the one thing I could never tell her, one I thing I hadn't been able to tell anyone. But as I far as I knew, Archie and I sorted things out before I left for uni. He was the one that broke his promise and left.

"We made up before he left. I cut it close, a little too close, and then when I left for uni, he seemed okay..." I clearly had read him wrong, because for him to leave the way he did, there must have been so much hurt going on in his head.

"What were you arguing about?" She asks.

"It's so stupid, you would think I'm ridiculous," I answer, making a face before hiding it.

"Try me."

I groan before answering. "We were arguing because he wanted Matt to take him to the airport, not me. He said that if I went with him he wouldn't have been able to leave."

I had been so mad those last two days before he left. I felt so hurt, thinking this was what Chloe had been talking about, that he was already pulling away. I wouldn't talk to him, I wouldn't even look at him... but now all of that seems so trivial.

"Maybe he's feeling guilty?" She suggests.

"Guilty?"

"Yeah. For what happened. No matter who went with him, one of you would have..." She can't finish that sentence, and I'm glad. I don't want her to finish that sentence.

"I know it's guilt, because he always felt bad for things, even if they weren't his fault. But this definitely is not his fault." I sigh in annoyance because I can't believe how many times I've had to say this. "We've never blamed him for what happened, at all... even if it had been me," I say with a shudder. "Would he have never spoken to Matt again if that had happened?"

"I don't know." She sighs and covers her eyes. "I hate working in hypotheticals. I do it all the time at work and I hate it."

"Maybe it is that... But I do want to talk to him, I need to, and tell him how ridiculous that is. What happened wasn't his fault, and the fact he's shut me out all of this time has just made the two of us worse." I sigh again. "And as horrible as this sounds, I don't think I can marry Jamie until I have all of what's between Archie and me out in the open."

"Wait, what?" Her eyes widen. "Does Jamie know?"

"Yeah, I spoke to him. It was a few months ago, so he's probably going to try and pretend he doesn't remember, but he knows I need to talk to him. That's what I was going to ask you today. Do you think I should fly over there?"

"Fly over where?"

I can't help but laugh at how clueless she can be sometimes, but her face lights in realisation and she laughs too.

"Oh! You mean New York?" I nod and look at her with a hopeful expression. "Tess, I think it's a great idea."

"You do?"

I genuinely hadn't been expecting those words to come out of her mouth without a little bit of a fight, but here she is telling me it's a great idea.

"Really?" I ask again, just checking I heard it right.

She nods emphatically. "Of course I do. Of course you should go! You're both still hurting Tess, and the only way you'll stop is if you both get all that hurt off your chests. You need to show him what you've been through, same as he needs to tell you what he's been through, because the two of you won't be the same until you've spoken to each other."

She shuffles her seat closer to me and takes my hand.

"Tess, you know I love you like a sister, right?" I nod. "You know I'd tell you if you were being an idiot."

I nod again, sighing. "Char, is this where you tell me I've been an idiot?"

"No, that wasn't where I was going," she giggles. "I just wanted to tell you that I would never make you do anything I knew would hurt you."

"I know that. Char, what are you trying to say here?"

"It's just..." She looks at me for a second, and I can tell she wants to say something but she just can't bring herself to say it. But then she sighs and gives me the goofiest grin. "Do you know how long I've wanted you to ask me this question?"

I can't help but smile. Charlotte is the only person, maybe other than Millie, who could tell what I was feeling before even I could.

"I'm going to go with a long time," I say sheepishly. She shrugs and my face softens. "I love you, Char."

She leans forward and gives me one of her bear hugs before she leans back with another expression on her face. "But you should know that me thinking New York is a good idea is not entirely selfless..."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

She sighs and leans back, touching the stone of her engagement ring with her right index finger.

"Danny and I were going to tell you together but, seeing as you've mentioned it... Well, I have to tell you now."

"Tell me what?"

"Okay, well the first thing Danny said to me when we were thinking of the bridal party - after you, of course - was his best man."

She smiles at me, but there's a sad tinge to her smile, and I realise what she's thinking. I know who Danny would have chosen, and he would have chosen Matt in a heartbeat. However, with him gone... there's only one other person that could ever be able to fill those shoes.

"He's asked Archie hasn't he?"

She stops, but then gives me an apologetic look which makes me go cold.

"He has, and I know we should have asked you first but-"

I shake my head before she can continue. "No, it's okay. Char, it's your day and you and Danny should have the right people up there with you. I'm so honoured that you've asked me, just as I know Archie will be honoured you've asked him. I know he won't let Danny down, just as I won't let you down."

She gives me another look, this one full of pride as her eyes brim with tears.

"You're amazing, Tessa."

I shake my head. "Believe me, I'm not."

"Tess, come on, you are." She takes my hand and squeezes it. "After what you've been through... even though I love Archie, I don't know if I could forgive him if I was in your position." I raise my eyebrows, shocked to hear her say that. "You're so calm."

I bark out a laugh. "Believe me, I'm freaking out." She laughs with for a second before I continue. "But Char, it's your day. Even if I did feel differently - which I don't - if you want him there, then you should have him there."

She smiles at me, tears building in her eyes again, makin a lump form in my throat.

"I love you Char, and so does Archie, and we both just want your day to be as amazing as possible. Well... at least I do."

What I didn't say was that Jamie won't be happy he's coming. He only agreed to let me go to New York because he trusts me, but with this, he's going to blow his top, despite it not being at all within my control.

"Has he come back to you?" Maybe if he hasn't I wouldn't even need to mention it to him.

Charlotte's face falls as she shakes her head. "No, Danny texted him a few weeks ago, when Millie gave us his number -"

"You have his number?" I try not to sound too excited but unfortunately Charlotte misses nothing. She narrows her eyes and I clear my throat, trying the question again. "Millie, gave it to you?"

She decides to leave it, instead just answering the question. "As of yesterday when Danny checked, it's still unread, even after a couple of weeks." She shrugs and sighs. "I don't think he'll say yes." Her voice was so sad, I found myself wishing he would say yes.

I try to be optimistic for her. The old Archie would never let his friends down, and I was hoping the new Archie would do the same.

"Give him time, Char. You'll get your answer." I take her hand in mine. "If there's one thing he doesn't do, it's disappointing his friends."

A tear brims over onto her cheek before she can swipe it away, so I change the subject slightly... before she makes me cry.

"I still can't believe you're getting married in five months!"

She snorts and laughs, wiping at her cheeks. "Yeah, I'm going to be Mrs Fitzpatrick at Christmas. And how the hell am I the first one to be a Mrs?"

"Because you're the adult." She raises her eyebrows at me and I laugh. "Mostly."

She gasps and taps my hand, laughing. "You should see Danny though. Do you remember his tummy?"

I giggle at her unexpected question and splutter as my drink goes up my nose. "His tummy? What about it?"

"It's gone!" She squeals. "Replaced by yummy abs instead." She says it with so much pride, it's adorable.

"Nooo! All of it?" I feign horror.

"Yup," she says, pouting slightly. "I do miss it sometimes, but he looks..." She doesn't finish the sentence but her expression says it all.

"Don't worry, once you're married he'll put it all back on," I joke. "Especially once he's a dad! Dad bod all the way!"

"Oh God! I don't even want to think about that yet." Her eyes widen as she puts a hand on her forehead. "Still in university for another four years, remember!"

"That doesn't matter..." I start to say, but as she widens her eyes at me, I stop. I want to ask her what's wrong, but she changes the subject back to Danny

"Danny can't wait to see you either. And Jamie, actually. Ooh! Is he coming later?"

I accept the change of subject, as maybe this wasn't the time or the place. "I spoke to him earlier and he said he would try, but it's his first day, so I don't know. He said he'd text me."

She smiles, now recovered. "Cool, well in any case we can have fun just the three of us."

"Definitely," I say, slurping at the last of my mojito. "Another round?"

"Absofuckinlutely," she says, taking a large slurp of her own mojito as I get the waitress' attention.

"Two more?" She asks, putting our empty drinks on her tray.

"Yes please!" Charlotte and I say together before we get started on catching up properly.