DECIDING ON A PAIR of jeans with a slightly dressier top, I pull on my black Timberlands with my outfit and head out.

Dad has already gone by the time I'd finished getting ready, but as I grab my keys, I notice there's a note attached to the front door that says  'I'm on a date x'. After I finished squealing, I make a mental note to ask him later before heading out the door.

I'll be early, as I always am, but I figure it gives me time to buy Jamie's 'congrats on your first week of work' gift. His headphones broke a few months ago, probably not helped by Bruce playing with them, so I planned to buy him AirPods, so he could concentrate at work.

Getting to the bottom of the drive, I stop and pull my phone out to text Charlotte, telling her I'm just leaving.

Leaving now! Massively early, as per usual, but I'm getting something for Jamie so don't worry! See you at Turtle Bay!! xxxx

She answers quickly.

And true to form, we may be a bit late! See you soon Tess xxxxxxxx

I smile and shove my phone into my bag as I shut the door behind me before locking up and dancing down the front steps.

A movement next door catches my eye, and I notice my neighbour Mrs Donovan doing some pruning in her front garden. I hadn't seen her since Easter, or maybe even January, so I wave at her as I make my way over to her.

"Hey Mrs Donovan!" I announce myself, not wanting to give her a heart attack.

She turns, looking from her tulips, her face erupting into a smile.

She looks a lot more frail these days, shaky in the legs. I think it's partly due to Frank having another bad fall a few months ago. She's his main carer, although we help when we can, and she doesn't get outside as much as she used to.

"Hello my dear!" she calls, grabbing her stick which is leaning on the fence.

I go to help her and she grabs my hand tightly, only letting go when she's safely sitting down on the bench next to her. When she's caught her breath, she cups my cheek and smiles warmly at me.

"How are you doing, dear?"

I nod. "Both of us are hanging in there, Mrs D! I'm back for good now uni's finished."

Her smile disappears as I know what she's about to say. "You must both miss him terribly." For a moment, I'm not sure whether she's talking about Matt or Archie. "It sounds ridiculous, but I do miss throwing all his footballs back into the garden." She giggles as she turns and looks at our house. "Kept me young." She used to confiscate every tenth ball that came over the fence, but somehow Matt never ran out.

I try to put on a brave face, but it doesn't last very long.

"Oh no," she says when she notices a tear on my cheek. "Silly Mabel, I've gone and upset you."

I shake my head and pull her hand away before she starts smacking herself, giving her a smile. "No, no. It's fine. It's just me. I'm fine." I wipe my cheek and brush away the tears. "I do really miss him. Especially when it's becoming a new and very special time of my life."

I show her my left hand and she gasps, spotting the ring immediately.

"Oh my goodness, you're engaged?!" I nod. "When did this happen? Oh, that's fantastic, Tessa." She leans forward and gives me a tight hug before pulling my hand closer for her to inspect my ring, as any honorary grandparent would.

"About a month ago," I tell her.

"That ring is beautiful! Archie really is a lucky man, isn't he."

"Yeah, he-" I suddenly stop myself, wondering how I'd said that. "Wait, no... I'm not engaged to Archie, Mrs Donovan." Jesus, what is wrong with me?

"Oh?!" She says suddenly, realising what she had said. "Oh Mabel, hush your silly mouth," she scolds herself again. "I did know that. I'm so sorry Tessa. I meant Jamie. Jamie is a lucky man."

I smile. Jamie had been roped in a few times, helping her rake out her flower beds. He told me that, by the time he'd finished a week later, he knew everything about me from when I was little, as Mrs Donovan talked his ear off the whole time.

"He is, isn't he," I joke with a smile. "He's pretty special."

"He had better be young lady." She cups my cheeks with her warm hands and looks at me with her wise eyes. "After everything you have been through, it's about time you were happy."

She leans her forehead against mine and smiles before leaning back again.

"And I am sorry for mentioning Archie, sweetie. It was so silly of me... I hope you can forgive my crumbling mind."

"There's nothing to forgive," I giggle. "And I'll bring Jamie over for tea again soon. How's Frank doing?" I rarely see him because he's in a wheelchair, spending most of the day watching TV in the front room.

"Oh, you know Frank. Still barking orders, as usual." She waves a hand dismissively towards her house with a smile. "I'll tell him you said hello, and that the two of you will come over for tea."

"Please do!" I smile.

"Now, I look like I've waylaid you. Where are you off to, looking all smart?"

I giggle again. "I wouldn't quite say smart, but I'm going to have drinks with Charlotte."

"Gosh, I haven't seen her in years. Tell her I said hello, won't you?" I nod before she starts pushing up shakily on her walking stick. "Now you go have fun, while this old lady has a kip on the sofa," she laughs, seemingly dismissing me.

Making sure she gets into the house okay, I wave goodbye before restarting my journey down the road.

As I walk down, I find myself looking into every garden, even though I'd walked past these houses for an entire lifetime.

Quite a lot had changed. More houses now have paved driveways, now that kids I used to babysit are old enough to drive, with some houses sporting flashy gates to protect even flashier cars. Two of the families I remembered living near the bottom of the hill must have moved, because both the Braithwaites and the Mulligans would never have paved over their beautiful gardens. But it's the house on the end that makes me stop. There used to be a run down bungalow here, owned by old man Mr Winslow, but now there is a large detached mansion in its place. Mr Winslow would never have sold the house, and certainly never to developers, so from the fact this monstrosity was here, he must have either moved into a home or passed away.

It makes me sad because of how he used to shout at us as we walked past, no matter what time it was, even if we were just walking by. Archie found out Mr Winslow loved fudge, so once or twice we'd brought him a tin of it, granting us a slight reprieve from his shouts. But being old, he just shouted at us all over again the next day.

Now, looking up at the white, modern monstrosity, it really makes me feel like a lot has changed. It's quiet now, eerily so, with only the low hum of the large automatic gates now guarding the driveway.

Walking quickly down towards the station, by the time I get on the train it's nearly three. When I get to Westfield, I walk as quickly as I can to the Apple Store, finding the AirPods pretty quickly, knowing what I was searching for. Not even looking at the price, knowing he was worth it, I head to the nearest blue-shirted Apple Genius and ask to pay.

"Did you want AppleCare with these?" He asks.

I shake my head. "No, that's okay. If he wants to add it later, he can right?"

"Yep, that's fine." He scans the bar code and tells me the price before I hand over my card. "These are really cool, aren't they?" He asks as he hands me his device.

"Yeah, I quite fancy a pair myself," I chuckle. Maybe a Christmas present... I think to myself. "It'll save on headphone tangling that's for sure."

He taps the box around his neck before handing me my card and receipt. "It's why I got mine. Is there anything else we can help you with today?"

I shake my head. "Nope, just these. Thank you!"

"No probs, have a good one." He smiles before he moves on to the person hovering at his shoulder.

Shoving the AirPods in my bag, I head off in the direction of Turtle Bay, and boy am I glad I booked. Even for just after four in the afternoon on a Monday, it is rammed.

Greeting the hostess with the fact I have a table, she shows me straight there, handing me two menus. Before she turns to leave, I order two raspberry mojitos and a side of peanuts. As she leaves, I pull out my phone and text Charlotte, saying I had arrived and that I had ordered our favourite drink.

She texts back immediately.

Omfg LOVE YOU! We'll be up in 5. We've just parked. Is it okay if Danny comes? xxx

I close my eyes and try to ignore my annoyance. I love Danny, don't get me wrong, but I needed girl time. However, as much as I wanted girl time, I couldn't stop him either.

I'm just typing my message when she texts back.

Actually he's said he wants to find trainers, so I'll leave him to it and he can meet us later. Is that okay? xxx

I sink back into my chair, ashamed that I feel relieved. It wasn't that I didn't trust him with what I was asking, I just wanted it to be a conversation between Charlotte and me for now, before I told anyone else.

Char, of course! Jamie might join later too... If he ever leaves work! See you soon! xxx

Cool. Just in, so I'll see you in a sec xxxxxxxx

I grin at the screen just as the waitress puts two very large mojitos down in front of me.

Opening Facebook, I make a post, taking a picture of my Mojito, posting it with the caption, 'Waiting on a certain Miss Robinson!' with a cocktail emoji.

After it's posted, a few more photos from Millie pop up at the top of my feed. Curious, I click on the album and over a hundred photos load below the top three, revealing an entire album of New York.

The first few are normal Millie pictures - artsy pictures of squirrels, pigeons and landscapes, as well as several candid shots of Greg not ready for the camera. I laugh as a string of ten come in one burst. I love how he puts up with her silliness, especially when the last of the string of photos ends with him looking extremely uncomfortable in a unicorn hat.

As I realise they're at the airport, I steel myself for the next batch. I know I shouldn't be looking, but I can't help myself. Correction... I can't help myself.

And a few photos later, I see him.

It must be when he picked her up from the airport because they're wearing the same clothes, but I smile as he's dressed as Archie always used to: a plaid shirt with what I would assume is a pair of chino shorts.

The next picture is one taken by Greg of the two of them, and I laugh as both the chino shorts and his battered boat shoes are evident, ones that Dad got him as a birthday present when he was seventeen. His smile is wide, and he has his arm around Millie's shoulder as she grips tightly around his middle. It brings a tear to my eye at how happy he looks.

In the following few photos I skim through, I find myself getting more and more emotional as I see him in his college surroundings. Him and some friends, smiling widely. Part of the emotion is relief, because I was worried he would shut everyone out the way he did with us, but as that familiar flame in my belly starts to grow as I flip through faster. After a few more, I put my phone away before I find my mind drifting down the wrong road of thoughts.

And it's just in time, as I see Charlotte's head pop up above the escalator.

She spots me immediately, and legs it towards me, arms flailing, hair flying out behind her.

"Hey stranger!" She calls as she collides with me. Everyone is staring but I don't care."Jesus fucking Christ it is so good to see youuuuuu!" She squeals into my ear.

"I've missed you!" I mumble into her hair as I feel that strong bubble of emotion start to burst.

"You okay?" She asks as she pulls away, holding me at arm's length.

And just like that, the bubble bursts.

"Aww, Tess." She pulls me into another hug before we head back to our table. "What's with the tears? I haven't been away that long, have I?" She jokes, clearly trying to ease the tension.

I look at her and I try to laugh, but it just comes out as a strange half-strangled noise. But Charlotte doesn't look away. She does the opposite. She pulls her chair closer to me, pulling me into another hug, stroking my arm until the sobs begin to stop.

"What's got you crying?" She asks softly as I lift my head.

I know she's the only person in the world I can tell the truth to and she won't judge, so I look across at her, holding her gaze as I say, "I miss him."

I hiccup as she wipes my cheeks. "Aww, sweetie we all miss him." She puts a hand on top of mine but I shake my head.

Taking my phone out of my pocket, I unlock the screen and show her the photo I had been looking at.

He's standing proudly by himself outside the library doors at Columbia, a wide smile on his face as he looks truly happy. His smile made my heart want to leap out of my chest, whilst at the same time, it threatened to tear open the hole that's been left there... and tear it wider than ever before.

"I miss him," I say again, emphasising 'him' as I watch Charlotte's expression change from shock to understanding.

"We all do," she says again, and I suddenly realise she knew who I'd meant the whole time.

I look up at her and the tears start again. I had never been expecting that answer, even from Charlotte, mainly because we hadn't really talked about it until now, even if it's been on my mind. But before I can say anything else, she taps my nose and turns her attentions towards the large raspberry mojito in front of her.

"But... before we talk about him... let's get some cocktails in us, eh?"

"Oh yeah," I wipe my eyes as I nod. "Alcohol and emotions," I giggle, taking a sip. "What could possibly go wrong?"

"I'll drink to that!" She clinks my glass and takes a dainty sip, and as she smiles at me, I know everything will be okay.

I have my best friend back, and I know she'll help me work out what I need to do... and no matter what I choose, I know she'll be with me every step of the way.