IT'S CRAZY HOW QUICKLY you settle back into routines.

We've been back for three weeks, only just catching Millie before she went on her open-ended trip to America, and it's been an incredible three weeks. No work, no distractions and no commitments, just us, and it's made me even more excited for what's to come.

Dad is ecstatic to have me back home, for good now, and the things I had been worrying about before hadn't been as bad as I thought. I have my moments, moments where I end up sobbing in Matt's room, but mostly I'm my happy, bouncy self, ready to take on the world.

Seeing Millie for a few days was great too, and although she's now gone for, I spent three days flat with her.

While Jamie was off doing his induction at Barclays, I talked to her about Archie, everything. I talked to her about the dreams, about everything I saw that day. I also talked to her about my plan to see him, either here or in New York, to get everything off my chest. She was silent about it for a while, but in the end said it was a great idea and that she was fully behind me doing it. That was a relief, because if she had said it wasn't a good idea, I don't think I ever would have done it.

She asked me what I would say, but I just told her the honest answer, and that was that I didn't know what I was going to say to him yet. She suggested I just let him talk, as he probably has more apologising to do than me, but I didn't want him to think it was me going to there for an apology. I didn't want an apology, not for what he thinks I do anyway. I just wanted to know was why he thought it was so bad that he felt like he had to leave... that he had to leave us. Why he left when we could have got through it much easier together.

A few days later, I took her to the airport.

Greg and Millie both had bags the size of themselves, and it felt weird saying goodbye to them, not knowing when they would be back. But then I thought about it, and Millie hadn't seen Archie in person for over a year, so I stopped my moping and waved them both off as they went through security.

The next week, Jamie took me away on a surprise trip to the Cotswolds, before he started his new job the following week. Putting that out of our minds, we embraced the beauty and green, walking every day and just being with each other. He had done an amazing job of helping me forget my reality, but right now, the reality of him starting his real-world job was standing right in front of me... tying his tie crooked in the light coming from the tiny bathroom.

After several induction days, today is Jamie's first full day as a Financial Associate at Barclays, and I can tell he's excited about it. I'm excited for him too, even if he is now leaving me all day to do real work.

"I know you're awake by the way," he tells me. His eyes meet mine in the mirror and I grin before sitting up.

He turns off the bathroom light as I turn on the side light, blinking as I'm momentarily blinded.

"Just watching the show," I tell him as he comes towards me, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He smirks at me before turning his attention back to his tie now that he could see a little better.

"I'll miss having you around all day," I say sadly, because it's the truth. "I knew the day was coming but it came around so-"

"So quickly," he finishes for me. "I know. It's going to be weird for me too." He brushes my fringe behind my ear. "But you're seeing Charlotte today right?"

"I am, yeah."

One of the best things, other than being home, is being able to see Charlotte more. She has transferred out of Oxford now that's she's finished one degree and is doing her next stint at UCL, which she finds much better as she gets to see Danny, her parents and me a lot more. She has a few more weeks off before she starts, so we have many a thing planned before she has to go back to studying and working twenty-four-seven.

I hadn't told her about my engagement yet, I was waiting to tell her in person, and believe me, it had been the hardest thing ever. On calls, I've kept my hand tucked into my sleeve just in case, because I didn't want to tell her over the phone. I wanted to see her reaction.

"What are you guys doing?" He asks. He's now standing by the mirror again.

"Not sure yet. Drinks probably - it's always drinks - so I'll let you know," I smile.

"I'm guessing you're telling her about us today?" He asks with a smile of his own. I nod as he walks back over to me.

He really does look so handsome. He's wearing the same suit he wore when he asked me to marry him, and his hair is freshly cut, styled into messy spikes like it usually is. His bright blue eyes are sparkling in the lamp light and for a moment I'm dazzled by him. He taps his tie, and grins. He's done it crooked on purpose because he knows I love fixing his tie. I take the bait, shuffling forward to meet him and I feel his eyes on me.

"You really didn't have to get up with me," he says quietly.

"Sure I did," I reply, smiling as I lean back to look at my handiwork. Straight and perfect. "It's your first day. Besides, I can go straight back to sleep when you leave," I joke.

"I love you," he tells me quietly.

I smile before I lean forward to kiss him quickly. "Back at you, McGregor."

"Am I okay?" He asks. I frown but he taps his tie.

"You're perfect." I kiss him once more before swinging my legs out of bed to find a pair of trousers.

"What are you doing?" He asks with a chuckle. "What happened to going back to bed?"

"I can still do that," I shrug. "Would you like a lift or not?" I beam.

"Yes please!"

"Come on then, Working Man." I pat his chest as I walk past him and out the door, pulling my hair up into a messy bun.

He follows me out the door and the two of us wave at Dad as he wishes Jamie luck for his first day. I promise him a cooked breakfast when I get back, which makes Jamie's face sink.

We get to the station with no issues, with it still being relatively early and it being the school holidays. Instead of going to the car park, I idle outside the station and wait as Jamie checks he has everything.

"So I'm out with Charlotte, but text if you want to join us after work, okay." I say it knowing he'll be pulled into something and will have to work late, so I add, "No pressure though."

"Yeah, that sounds great." He smiles before leaning over to kiss me. "I'll see you later babe."

"I love you," I beam back at him. "Have a good day."

He waves and disappears into the tube, and after a month of spending every day with him, I now have to figure out how I'm going to spend a whole day without him.

Today I was seeing Charlotte though, and we had planned to do a little bit of shopping before getting cocktails and dinner. I still had a few hours in the day left before I would be going to meet her, so I start the engine and head back home.

"Jamie get off okay?" he asks as I come in.

I nod and giggle. "I felt like a mum dropping my kid off at his first day at school. At least he waved goodbye," I say with a shrug.

"He's excited though, isn't he?"

"Definitely. And I'm happy for him. Although most people wouldn't be excited to be a Finance Associate, he certainly is."

He chuckles. "Speaking of jobs though, how are you getting on with applications?"

"Really good actually. I've done five, all to the schools here, and then I've done a couple up near where Mum is. As it's for placements, they're not permanent, so I can be a bit more adventurous with my choices."

"For English and Sports still?"

I nod. "English definitely. I'm not so bothered about the sport bit until later."

"Well," he says, getting up to head over to the fridge, "I'm certainly proud of you, Kiddo. No matter where you go."

I smile at him and join him at the fridge, pulling out the eggs, bacon and sausages.

"Dad, let me do it. You can make the tea," I say and he nods, heading for the kettle after turning the grill on. "Fried eggs, scrambled or poached?" I ask.

"Scrambled. You always did do the best scrambled egg," he says.

"Scrambled it is."

***

AFTER A FEW HOURS of job applications, my brain hits a brick wall. With a sigh, I shut my laptop and lay on my bed, letting all the exhaustion and cramp out of my hands as I flex my fingers.

I close my eyes, and just as a pair of buttery eyes threaten to invade my thoughts, a knock rings on the door.

"Come in!" I call, sitting up on my elbows.

Dad pops his head round the door, before entering holding two steaming cups of tea.

"How's it all going in here?" He asks.

"Another two applications done," I tell him proudly. "But I did get an email from a school near Mum saying I was unsuccessful though."

"Swings and roundabouts," Dad tells me as he puts his arm around me. "They won't know what they're missing."

I smile as he taps my nose. "Exactly."

"I was coming up to check on you, but you also left your phone downstairs. It's buzzed more than a couple of times," he tells me, handing it over, showing me I had around eight or nine texts from Charlotte, a couple from Jamie and a missed call from Millie.

"I'll text her back in a minute," I say, putting my phone in my pocket. "I was actually going to message Charlotte, so she's beaten me to it."

"When did she get back?" He asks. He likes hearing about Charlotte's uni course because she's studying to be a nurse. It reminds him of his own uni days I think.

"Couple of days ago. But she told me that her and Danny are actually headed to New York in a few weeks."

His eyebrows raise, as I knew they would at the mention of New York. "Oh yeah?"

"Don't worry, I don't think they're suggesting anything, but Charlotte does deserve a break."

"And New York is great around September October time," he adds.

"Dad, how do you know what New York looks like this time of year?" I quirk an eyebrow when he shrugs.

"I can use the Internet," he laughs.

I shuffle in my seat so I'm sitting opposite him, looking at him again. After a few moments, he rolls his eyes. "Okay. Millie sent some pictures." He leans sideways and gets his phone out.

He finds the pictures in their WhatsApp chat and hands the phone to me. There are six pictures, and I find a lump forming in my throat at how much I miss them.

Dad is right, it does look great, with the colours of the leaves just starting to turn from green to yellow. Central Park looks beautiful, with the tree line starkly pressed against the glinting shine of the sun on the skyscrapers. The next is a selfie of Millie and Greg in Central Park and my cheeks lift in a smile.

As I flip through the others, I suddenly stop when I see a picture of all three of them, and my heart is in my mouth.

He has bruises all over his face, and a cut above his eyebrow, cuts and bruises that look painful. But despite the bruising, he has a smile that's cutting his face in two, clearly happy he has his sister back. I've really missed that smile.

Archie's hair is different too. When he left, he had shaved his head, which I hated. But he's let it grow back and it's all wavy on the top, only shaved at the back and sides. It's similar to Millie's actually, although he doesn't have the same ringlets as she does. His hair was always a bit longer at school, again shaved at the back and sides, but long and gelled back. Here, it's a lot more natural, free and floppy over his caramel eyes, and it suits him.

I find my eyes moving back to his smile, and I have to hand the phone back to Dad before it gets too much.

"I'm sorry, I forgot that was in there."

I shake my head. "It's okay, he looks good. Despite the bruises," I add.

"Yeah, he's doing a lot better. Happened a few weeks ag. He was mugged a few weeks before you came home."

My gut goes cold, confirming it was him I saw when I passed out.

I try to keep my voice level as I ask the question. "Mugged?" He nods. "Oh my god."

"Yeah. Millie didn't know anything about it until she got there a couple of weeks ago."

"Did he say who?"

Dad shakes his head. "No. Just a couple of people on his way home I think. They haven't caught them."

I hoped Archie wasn't protecting the person who did it. I had no idea who it could have been, but if he's capable of doing that much damage, he's capable of doing it again.

I try to let it go, as it's none of my business anymore, but a fire is raging in my belly over someone hurting him and getting away with it.

"He looks good though. Happy," Dad says, nudging my shoulder.

"He does. Yeah, he looks really good," I say, not able to stop myself.

I picture the photo one last time, and I wish I hadn't: one look in his eyes and I know he's still hurting.

I don't know whether it's from the bruises or from something else, but I know he's hurting about something. I just wish I knew what... or how to help.

But before I can say or think anything more, my phone buzzes.

"It's okay, you get it. I only came up to say that I'll be out tonight, so you guys have the house to yourselves."

He seems more cagey than normal, so I raise my eyebrows. "Am I allowed to know what it is?"

"Maybe," he says chuckling, winking as he moves out the door.

I shake my head but answer the phone before it goes to voicemail.

"Hey Char! I was just about text you back," I tell her, my voice gaining an octave as it always does when talking to Charlotte.

"Oh, spooky."

"What's up?" And I laugh as she answers with a groan.

"Is there any chance you can meet now? Mum is driving us bloody crazy and we need to get out of the house."

Cassie is a Mum-Zilla, as Charlotte is so laid back about everything wedding, so I can imagine she really is driving Charlotte crazy. I can also imagine her trip to New York in October can't have more perfect timing.

"I'm free. What we thinking?"

"Yay! Well, I know we said shopping... but how about just cocktails? We can send Danny off whilst we talk girly stuff?" She suggests.

I was glad. I wasn't in the mood for shopping.

"Sounds perfect," I tell her, a smile the size of the Cheshire Cat's floating over my face.

It had been so long since I've caught up with just her on her own. I hadn't seen her since we came back at Easter, but even then we had Jamie and Danny with us. I love them both, obviously, but there are things I need to talk to her about, just her.

I need to ask her about New York, especially now that I knew Millie was okay with it. I want to run it past her too, because I knoe she would tell me straight if it was a bad idea. But she would also know how to handle the situation delicately, telling me to how to go about it without going in all guns blazing.

"What time is it now?" I check my watch and it's just gone two. "I just need to get changed and stuff, but I can meet you at Turtle Bay at like half three?" I suggest. "I can book a table?"

"Yes! Sounds fab. We'll be driving, so I'll text once we're parked."

"I'll get a round in!"

She laughs. "I'll get the others! Okay, see you soon, Tess! Love you!" She finishes before hanging up.

Before getting dressed, I quickly dial Jamie, wanting to let him know what my plans are whilst also not wanting to disturb him. It rings for a while, but just as I'm about to give up, he answers.

"Jamie McGregor," he answers, sounding very corporate.

I giggle and he chuckles back at me. "That sounded so good, Jamie." I can see his cheeks go red from here, but I spare him answering in his office. "How's your first day going?"

"Oh my god, it's so great here." His voice is softer now that he knows it's me. "They've already got me stuck into casework."

That sounded like Hell on earth to me, but if it made him happy, I was happy for him.

"And you thought you'd be left out," I add, teasing him.

"Yeah... but it comes with a bit of bad news. It means I'll probably be late home." He sounds sad, and I know it's because he doesn't want to disappoint me. "I'm sorry, I know we were supposed to celebrate."

"It's okay," I reassure him. "I'm out with Charlotte, but maybe you can join us when you're finished? We'll be cocktailing and catching up before dinner anyway."

"Oh yeah! That sounds great!" I can hear him smiling. "Shall I text when I'm leaving? I don't think it'll be any later than eight," he says hopefully. "So yeah, a late dinner sounds great."

"Yay! Okay. I'll see you later," I say, sounding infinitely more upbeat now that I know there's a high possibility I'll see him tonight.

"I love you," he says quickly before the line goes dead, leaving me a little deflated.

My mind starts the spiral like it always does when I think about Jamie spending hours and hours at work, but I'm interrupted as my phone starts buzzing in my hand. My smile reappears when I see it's him calling me back.

"Hey," Jamie coos quietly. "Are you sure it's okay for me to stay?" He asks. "You sound a bit down... don't think I didn't notice."

He always notices. It's why I love him as much as I do.

"Jamie, I'm sure. It's your first day! I'm not going to demand you leave early." I smile.

He chuckles. "Okay fine. But I do promise to be with you no later than eight, okay," he says.

"Sounds amazing." I smile. "I'll see you later. Text me!"

"I will, and I love you," he croons.

"I love you too, Jamie."

He hangs up after a few more seconds and I feel much more upbeat after that, beaming from ear to ear.

"Right," I sigh, throwing my phone on the bed. "Now to find something to wear!"