WHEN I FINALLY WAKE up, I groan. I thought I was done with all this hospital crap.

After all those surgeries on my knee, after all those physical therapy sessions, I thought I would never have to lie in a hospital bed again.

Wrong.

I've been here three weeks.

When I got here, I was barely conscious, and for nearly a week they had me in an induced coma so swelling on my brain could come down. Once I recovered from that, I then had to wait for my ribs to heal enough for me to be able to do simple things, such as standing. For the first few days, I could barely walk a few steps, let alone anything else, but now that I can do two whole laps of the hospital without help or breaks, I've been given the all clear to head home.

The first thing I did when I came to was text Lara. After saying I would meet her at home, she had probably been worrying what had happened. She's come to see me a couple of times, but in the last week or so she's been quiet.

I haven't told her the truth. Part of me didn't want to tell her because of the fact it was her brother that put me in here... and it would make her feel guilty, despite it not being her fault at all. Part of me also doesn't want to tell her because it's embarrassing.

That said, in all honesty, even if I am embarrassed, I admit he may have gone a bit too far... Even if I understand why he did it, the extent of my injuries proves he did more than a lot of damage.

When I finally came to, the doctors brought in the police, saying I should be pressing charges, but when I refused, they said I was crazy. Not in so many words, but I could see it on their faces.

I have four broken ribs, which was currently making it very hard for me to breathe properly, and anything faster than a walk was a no no. He had also broken my nose, again, separated my shoulder, as well as causing some internal bleeding in my abdomen from the force of the kicks. The worst bit was my face. Due to continual punches, and eventually kicks, to my face, he had fractured my cheek and orbital socket. The bone in my cheek, I've been told, is in fragments, so in a few weeks once swelling has gone down, they will put in a plate, causing more scarring. Right now, my eye was so swollen I could barely see out of it, but what mattered was that I could see... and that was apparently a blessing, given how much damage Billy had done.

To be honest though, I didn't care. One of the only good things to come out of this is that Billy had covered up my old scar with a new one... so I was choosing to focus on that at least, and not the sad reality that potentially awaited me when I finally got out of here.

I knew better than to report Billy though. Going to jail wasn't what he needed. He needed help, sure, but jail would only make his anger worse... or worse. I could see how angry he was as he loomed over me, and I could see that red in his eyes, but I knew that if I got him locked up, it would be the death of him, not to mention Lara would never forgive me... even if it may be the right thing to do.

But after three weeks at New York Presbyterian, I was finally heading home to face the music. Once again, the weather is gloomy outside, despite the awful humidity of New York City in thd height of summer, and as I stare out of the window, staring across the city, I can't help but feel the sky is reflecting my mood. I've got that feeling in the pit of my stomach, that same feeling I always have when things are about  to go wrong, and I'm doing my best not to think about it.

I'm still staring a few minutes later, but when a knock rings out from my door, I turn my head just as Dr Cruz lets himself in. He's a young doctor, or at least he looked young, and he's taken it upon himself to keep me company most days.

"Mr Wall!" He greets me.

"What's up Doc?" I chuckle. "Please tell me this you coming to tell me it's time for me to go home?"

I knew I could go home, because I had been given the all clear yesterday, but he still pretends to think about it.

"Hmmm... Yeah I suppose you can," he says finally. "But you have heard what the doctors are saying about that eye, aren't you?" He asks, his voice turning more serious.

"Yeah I know."

"Just be careful, Archie. Although it is healing, it is still very delicate, so no physical exercise or exertiond until we've been able to put the plate it and it's had time to heal."

"When will that be?" I ask.

"A couple of weeks. Once the swelling has come down, we can get started on reconstructing, making sure your cheek doesn't collapse."

I wince. "My cheek?" He had explained this before, but I always forget what he means.

"Arch, your cheek is shattered, and your orbital socket is fractured. That means the bones aren't being held together by much more than the pins we've put there, okay. If they're moved or broken, you could lose the connection to your eye, okay." He looks at me with wise eyes. "It's really important."

I nod. They had all impressed how important it was I didn't get punched in the face... As if I liked it? But given how I looked the previous time I came in, and after my surgeries, I decided to stay quiet and listen.

"You'll have a couple of nice scars though," he adds and I half laugh. "It's all you young guys care about, right?"

"Suppose," I say with a shrug. "I'm used to it to be honest." It came out harsher than I had meant but he doesn't take it the wrong way.

"Oh, and we've arranged for a car to take you home. Even though your ribs are on the mend, we figured we shouldn't push it." I smile at him. I didn't like making a fuss, but I was glad of that, at least.

I really am grateful to him, and the hospital. The walk home I could bear, most likely, but it was the stares of bystanders I couldn't stand. I'll endure enough staring when I get home, so knowing I could at least avoid the pitiful stares of strangers on the way home is a relief.

"So... I think that's it. And, same as last time, if you have any problems - if you feel woozy, or you start getting headaches - you come straight back in, okay?"

It wasn't a question so I nod. "Yup, you got it."

He nods, content that I had taken the information on board. He walks over to me and sits down gently on the bed next to me, careful not to jostle it too much.

Holding out his hand for me to shake, he says, "You're a fighter, Archie. I've said it before, and I'll say it again." He smiles wider as I look up at him. "Don't let anyone tell you differently."

"I wouldn't quite say that," I tell him, pointing to the mess that is my face.

"Well, regardles of what happened to you this time, I still think you have shown extraordinary resilience. I've never seen people bounce back as quickly as you have."

I shrug, embarrassed.

"And I know you're going to say no, but I have to ask. Are you sure you don't want us to contact the police? To report whoever did this to you?"

I shake my head gently. "I don't want to report him. I know exactly who it was, and I know why he did it."

He frowns. "Who was it?"

At this point, I would usually sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, but given it was broken, I settle for a lone, shaky sigh instead.

"Billy. Lara's brother."

His shoulders tense as he sits up straighter. "Lara's broth-"

"Do you have a sister?" I ask, cutting him off.

He frowns but after a few seconds, his shoulders become less rigid and he gives me a nod, making a face that all brothers make when it comes to their sisters.

"Then you'll understand." I sigh again. "I'd have flown off the handle too if I had found what he did."

He frowns deeper but I go on.

"You know Lara and me are dating?"

His eyebrows raise and he smiles. "Lara and I," he corrects me, winking. "That's awesome, Arch. I figured you guys might, as you were close when you were in here together. When did this happen?"

"Few months ago. She's been staying with me and my friend Ollie at my apartment, and it just sort of... happened." I look down and smile.

"So how come he came after you? Protective big brother who doesn't like you?"

I shake my head. "Just for that reason would have been a bit far. No, I erm... Well, we took things to the next level, relationship-wise, and I decided it would be a great, fun idea if I..." I sigh and close my eyes. "If I drew her."

"If you drew her?" He asks, and I know I'm going to have to spell it out.

"Yup." I turn to look at him and I know my cheeks would be blazing if they weren't so swollen. "I drew her... with, erm... with no clothes on." I say it slowly and watch it sink in.

"Archie, even if that was the case, it doesn't excuse what he did to you. And I don't think you would go this far..." He gestures to my face. "So what actually happened?"

I sigh before continuing. "Lara had to pick something up there. I'm not sure what it was exactly, but when we got there, Billy didn't seem to be there. Anyway, she picked up when she needed and we headed home. I dropped her off at home before coming back, as I realised I had left the picture on the side."

I shake my head at that, knowing I should have just kept a hold of the drawing, or just forgotten about it and stayed at home with her.

"When I got upstairs, I found him looking at it, and he was mad. Like, really mad. That redness in his eyes..." I shake my head again. "I knew I was toast."

I knew how stupid it was, and yet I did it anyway. I was such an idiot.

"I just want to put it behind me. If Lara has managed to get the drawing back, I'm going to put it in the bin and never speak about it again." I try to laugh, but my cheeks heat in shame. "Please don't tell anyone about this," I say, finally able to look up at him.

"Archie, I wouldn't tell anyone."

I half smile. "I know. Doctor patient confidentiality and all that."

He shakes his head. "Even if that wasn't a factor. You're not a minor, and you're technically discharged, so I'm here talking to you as a friend, not your doctor. As a friend, I wouldn't tell anyone because you've asked me not to."

I look across at him, and his eyes are kind, empty of any kind of judgment. Anyone else's reaction may have been to judge, but Dr Cruz is different, and I think that's why I like him so much.

We're quiet for a few moments as the conversation sits between us, so I stand and start pulling my stuff together. He gets up too, handing me a few things, but he stops and frowns.

"What?" I ask as his expression changes.

He shakes his head as if it's nothing, but then seems to change his mind. "Can I ask you a question?"

I stop and look at him again before nodding. "Yeah. Sure."

He sighs and looks ahead, out of the window, making me nervous. I'm wondering what the hell he's going to ask.

"While you were out of it, you kept calling out a name. You kept calling out Tessa." He looks at me as my eyes widen. It was the last thing I had expected him to say.

I'm frozen in place as I try to recall my brain to think about these last few weeks. The only thing I remember is all the pain, but as I focus harder, I remember that voice. The voice in the back of my head that told me to keep going as I made it out of Billy's apartment, the voice that helped me to safety.

"Tessa?" I ask, trying to play the name down. "What do you mean?"

"There's no easy way to say it, so I'll just come straight out with it." He stands and puts his hands in his pockets of his white coat. "You were calling out to whoever she is when you arrived, and then a couple of times in your sleep." He sits down on the bed. "You were screaming it at one point."

I sigh and close my eyes, summoning those green eyes one last time to give me this last ounce of strength.

"I just thought I would mention it, and I wondered if she means something to you?" He asks. "She clearly does."

I smile. Of course she does. She means everything. She always will mean everything, despite all that I've done, or tried to do. Hearing her call my name, telling me to be strong, it was the most alive I had felt in a long time.

"She's Matt's sister," I tell him, deciding I could trust him with the truth. I smile again. "She's my... my best friend. But I haven't seen her for nearly four years."

I had left that detail out when I told him what happened in the accident a few years ago, but now that pain I had felt was completely gone.

I had never admitted that to anyone for a long time that she was so special, not even to myself. I always knew she was, and regardless of what happened between us, and even if I never saw her again, she always would be.

"Well, whoever she is," he starts, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I like her."

I frown but he smiles widely, pointing at me.

"I like her because that's the first real smile I've ever seen on you, and it suits you."

He doesn't say anything else before he leaves the room, but he nods once before closing the door, leaving me to think about the enormity of what truly matters.

"I need to go home."

I say it to myself out loud, and I don't know how long goes by before I admit that to myself.

Bringing those big, beautiful green eyes to my mind, I feel like the pain in my ribs and my chest completely disappear. Thinking of how she had been there for me, how I had heard her, felt her tiny hand holding mine... it made me feel alive.

"I need to go home." I say it again, this time more sure, because I knew it was now time to go home... Home to England.

I didn't know how or when I would go back, it may take years, but I knew one thing: I had to make it right with her, whatever it takes.