DESPITE THE ARCHIE DRAMA running through my head, by the time we get home I actually feel relatively calm.

However, Jamie isn't.

He hasn't said a word all the way home, and he's acting a bit odd. And when we park on our drive, he starts fumbling quickly with the keys, looking to do all but run away. When he checks his watch a third time, I finally ask what's wrong.

"Hey, what's up with you?"

He stops for a second and his shoulders relax. "I'm sorry." He puts his hands in his lap as he stops fumbling with the car keys. "I got a message on the drive back from Sam. They've been given loads of case work for next week, and they've given some of it to me."

"Jamie, that's great!" I frown. "But what's wrong with that?"

"It's for Monday morning... so I'm probably going to be reading all evening. And probably most of tomorrow actually." He bites his lip, knowing it'll probably annoy me.

But him being busy will actually give me a chance to talk to Millie. She knows more than she's let on, that's for sure, so I smile.

"You'll eat dinner with us though, right?" I ask and he nods. "Well, then, what are you waiting for?" I smile. "Give me those," I point to the keys. "The side door's open."

"I knew you'd understand. I love you," he says quickly before kissing me and running from the car.

I sit for a minute, but soon I want to get this conversation over with.

I'm still not mad. At least I don't feel like I am. However I may feel differently when she starts to explain. I won't be mad at her though, I'll be mad at Archie because he's the one that's put her in the position to have to lie to me. I grit my teeth at the thought.

When the door opens, Millie is singing to herself in the kitchen, and whatever she's cooking smells incredible. I can definitely smell garlic in amongst an infusion of something herby, spicy and sweet.

"Smells good in here, Mils. You need any help?" I start, deciding not to put her on the spot straight away.

"Sure! No chef will ever turn down an offer of help. It's homemade sausages with cheese and colcannon mash, with onion gravy. It's basic but it's also... not," she giggles, practically elbow deep in sausage meat.

"That sounds incredible." I laugh. "Mils, I am going to have to be careful or I'll be obese by the time I go back to uni." The sheer amount of food laid out waiting to be prepared is monster, but I suppose we are feeding at least two large and hungry males. Jamie can polish off anything if he's still hungry. Greg will no doubt polish off any leftovers, too.

"You can do the strawberries?" She suggests. "Next thing on my list is the meringue after this." I nod. "After washing my hands, of course."

I chuckle and walk over to the fridge to pull out the strawberries and start cutting, both of us singing along with what's on the radio. When I have nearly a whole bowl of quartered strawberries and Millie has started on the meringue, I decide now is the time to ask about Archie.

"So... Erm. I think I saw..."

I start to say it with confidence but my words fail me. 

Shaking my head, I close my eyes and just take the leap. "I think I saw Archie," I say finally, keeping my eyes on the strawberries.

In the corner of my eye, Millie stops whisking, and her head moves up to look at me. I wait a few seconds before I look back at her, and her cheeks are flushed red.

"I'm not mad, Mils," I assure her. Her shoulders drop in relief. "But I do need to know." I sigh. "Is he back?"

She doesn't deny or confirm either way, but she doesn't have to. He is back.

She comes to stand next to me. "He decided to come back... but only with me promising that no one would see him." She pinches the bridge of her nose and I put an arm around her shoulder. She leans her head on mine and sighs, "Why does he have to make it so bloody complicated?"

"You're asking me?" I scoff.

She leans up and walks a few steps away from me. "Did Jamie see him?"

"Oh God." I hadn't even thought of that. "I don't think so..." She nods. "Should I as-" I start but she shakes her head quickly.

"No, don't ask him. Definitely don't ask him."

I sigh and nod. That idea would go down like a lead balloon. I saw Jamie go into the church, and if Archie was going to be anywhere, he probably would have gone in there. But I keep that thought to myself, crossing that bridge when it came to it.

"What... happened?" She asks. "How did you see him?"

"I don't know really. It all happened so fast. I was just talking to Matt, and I noticed this really beautiful bouquet of flowers. They were blue and white, and beautifully flowering, so I leaned forward to smell them, only they were t-shirts."

"T-shirts?" She asks and I nod.

"Yeah, like six or seven baby-sized Brighton shirts. It was awesome," I smile. "But then I saw a letter, and recognised the handwriting. And that's when I saw him... well, before he jumped in the car and drove away in a hurry." I felt like it was all coming out so fast, but I dare not leave anything out.

She nods, still not saying much.

"But it was him. And he was there." I wanted to say I could feel it, but it would seem too weird.

I'm now looking directly at her.

"I thought I'd be more angry..." I start.

I pause, thinking about what I want to say next. I can't be mad. I'm not mad at Millie, I never was, but I can't even be mad at Archie either. Not for this... Not for paying his respects to my brother. To his best friend.

"But I'm not. I'm not angry. I just... I just wish he would talk to me. I just want to know what he's going through, and let him know that I still want to be there for him."

The words come out in a flurry but I don't care. I'm telling her the truth, and it feels good to finally get the truth out in the open.

It's quiet for a long time, long enough for me to finish the rest of the strawberries and whip the cream. But when I'm about to give up hope with an answer, Millie's arms go around me from behind, and she puts her cheek against my back. I put my hands over hers and I feel her cheeks lift in a small smile.

"He's an arsehole."

It sounds so stupid coming out her mouth, as I wasn't expecting her to say it, and even though she sounds completely serious I can't help but laugh.

"He texted me this morning. He asked if anyone was going by today, so I'm really sorry, I should have warned you."

I shake my head.

"But then I would have had to tell you and -"

"Millie," I stop her by putting my hand over her mouth. "It's okay. I'm good. It was a shock, yes, but I'm good."

She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose again. "I wasn't supposed to tell you, but since you've worked it out... I suppose I never did?" She scratches her head. "And seeing as he legged it... I'm guessing he saw you?"

I smile and nod. He definite you saw me. "Mils, if you get in trouble for this, which I hope you won't, I will personally hunt him down to the ends of the earth." She giggles. "I don't care if I have to knock on every single door in New York." I try to make light of it, but my next question is out of my mouth before I can get my brain to filter it. "How long has he been back for?"

"Since we got back," she admits. "But, Tess, I can't tell you where he is."

I shake my head. "No, I know that. I wasn't going to ask, don't worry." A slight sting of annoyance breezes over me but I push it away, knowing she's right. She's not doing it to hurt me, so I smile instead. "How come he's back?" I ask, hoping it's an easier question to answer.

"We're erm," she starts. "It's because we're selling the Epping house."

I can't say that comes as a surprise. What surprises me more is that they still have it to be honest. She hadn't mentioned it since they came to live with us, but them selling doesn't surprise me one bit either. After all the horrible memories in that house, for both of them, I would want to sell too.

"It's part of the new plan... Pete gave us a list of all the properties Dad owns, and Archie and I are deciding which ones we would want or use, and then which ones we want to sell." She smiles and starts whipping the meringues again. "And the ones we do sell will be auctioned, with all the money from all sales going to charities across the world."

My jaw drops as my heart stops and tears spring to my eyes. Shock and pride flood over me and I'm momentarily overwhelmed.

"What?" She asks, frowning as I try to ignore the lump in my throat.

I shake my head as I wipe my eyes. "N-Nothing."

Only it wasn't nothing. It was everything. Archie had told me once that, if he ever got a say in the company's running, he would do that; that he would use the money to help thousands of people, not just one. But that was about six years ago, way before any of this happened. I bet he doesn't even remember saying it, but knowing he's fulfilling his own dreams warms my heart.

"Nothing," I repeat. "That's just incredible."

She smiles. "It was Archie's idea. He's been working non-stop over it. He's found charities across various countries that help victims of child and domestic abuse." She looks at me, knowing I understand. "He said it may have been too late for him... but he can still do all he can to help other... p-people." Her voice breaks on the last sentence.

"Aw, Mils come here."

I pull her into my arms and she sobs into my chest. She pulls back after a minute, apologising as she sees the tears in my own eyes before going back to her whisking.

"He's helping me too. He's found this really cool shell of a building not far from Harlow, which used to be an old coach house." Her eyes light up. "I think most of it will have to come down, and we'll have to start again, but it's got amazing potential."

Millie had been talking about starting her own bakery since before she'd even started culinary school, so I'm glad the dream is still alive in her mind.

"I want to start my own cooking school, have a farm shop where everything is either grown and made on site or locally, with a cafe, of course." She beams at me and I smile, happy that her dreams were evolving. "I have this whole plan. I was actually thinking of asking Mark for his help. And your mum for the photography bit."

I nod, giving myself a second to find my voice. "Yeah definitely. They would love that, especially as they've slowed down on work because of Ellie. Aw, Millie I'm so proud of you. It's so great that you're really doing it!"

She beams wider and I swear she's practically glowing. "It's not yet though. It'll be a few years I reckon. I need to get trained up first, and then everything needs to be built. But it's the start of a plan at least," she says with a shrug.

She looks so happy, and she deserves to be. I've been so grateful to her for staying here, staying with Dad. Knowing she couldn't stay here forever, this new plan sounded incredible. She really loves cooking and baking, and she's so incredibly good at it, and I know she'll do all she can to teach people everything she knows, helping to sculpt a new generation of chefs and bakers.

"You think this looks ready?" She asks, pointing to the meringue mix.

I tip my head and shrug. "Not sure."

"Well, there's only one way to check." She looks at it and smiles.

She puts the spoon down on the side and then in a very quick move, places the bowl right above my head.

"Ahhh! Millie no!" I scream, quickly ducking away.

Of course, she's laughing, holding her belly when no mixture comes out at all, meaning it was ready. We're both laughing when a charging pair of footsteps comes down from upstairs. Jamie's face is etched with concern but when he sees we're both laughing, he looks confused.

"Is everything... okay?" He asks, frowning.

I nod at him, holding my stomach. "Yeah. Sorry. Millie almost tipped an entire pan of meringue all over me, but we're all good." He chuckles and shakes his head as he walks towards us.

"I wouldn't have blamed her." I glare jokingly and he continues. "Smells good in here though, Ladies." I did agree with him there. The sausages were now in, cooking deliciously, filling the room with a delicious, garlicky aroma.

He leans around me to pinch a piece of strawberry. He then kisses my forehead before winking and heading back upstairs.

I watch him go and I can see Millie studying me, making my cheeks redden.

"You're happy. Aren't you?" She asks, her voice soft and light, filled with emotion.

I turn and grin at her. "Yeah." I nod and look back up the stairs with a sigh. "I'm happy. Happier than I ever thought I would be."

She smiles. "I like him," she says. "And I like him a lot more than I like my brother right now," she adds. "And I love that you're happy, Tess. You truly deserve to be, after everything that's happened."

"Well he likes you too," I say, trying to deflect attention off me. "He goes on and on about your cooking all the time, and he's made your haggis stuffed chicken thing soooo many times."

She smiles. "I created it for him. I don't think many people think to stuff chicken with haggis but-"

"It's amazing!" I finish her sentence and she laughs before her face goes serious. "How is he with your dad?"

I make a face and she giggles. "Still working on Dad. I think he still blames him for Christmas. And why we were so late coming home a few weeks ago."

"Wasn't he though?" She asks, elbowing me. "Wasn't he the reason?"

"Maybe." I shake my head as I jokingly narrow my eyes at her. "But no." She narrows hers back at me. "Not entirely anyway," I add with a more somber tone.

"What happened?" she asks, and I wish I hadn't said anything.

"We had a..." I start but then I trail off and shake my head gently. I'm not sure it's appropriate to tell her.

"Had a what?" She frowns.

"No," I shake my head harder. "No, don't worry."

"Tess, what is it?" She prods.

I know my smile has disappeared at the thought of Jamie's huge blow out at the start of the summer. We had put it behind us, and we were okay, but I couldn't help but watch him now after the revelation.

He doesn't like to hold Ellie, and at any mention of kids anybody his gaze drops to his lap and he goes completely silent, or he excuses himself to go off to the bathroom. It's the small things I've noticed, and somehow, even though he says he does want them in the future, I have a feeling this argument was very much far from over.

"It's nothing," I repeat.

She puts her hands on her hips. "Tess, you forget I know you better than anybody. What's wrong? What's he done?"

I sigh and sit down at the table.

"Please don't tell anyone this, okay," I plead as she sits down in front of me, nodding. I knew she wouldn't, but it's not something I want getting out, to anyone. "We had a big argument before we came back here, like really big."

She joins me at the table and sits silently as I explain, keeping my voice low.

"Nelly mentioned her sister's baby after I asked her about summer plans, and he just..." I shake my head and widen my eyes as I search for the right word. "He just flipped." My eyebrows raise at the thought. "I'd never seen him act that way. He was so rude about it, and when he found out I'd thought about our future in my head - you know, as all couples in love do - he just... he... laughed."

Her mouth drops open and she looks upstairs. "He laughed?" She scowls. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah... I had no idea what to do or to say. I felt so embarrassed and broken at the thought that he was laughing about our future that I just asked him to leave." My throat tightens as I remember how I cried myself to sleep that night. "I stayed in bed for like two days because I'm pathetic, and then he came back and... and I don't know, I just wanted him back so badly that we just... kind of... brushed it under the carpet."

I pick at my nails, not able to look her in the eye at how much of a coward I was over it. As soon as he was back, I just wanted him back more than anything.

"Tess, that's not cool," she says quietly. "Him, not you," she adds.

"I know it wasn't." I sigh again. "But then he said it was all because he found out Emily is pregnant."

"Emily?" She frowns.

"Oh, she's his previous girlfriend. The one who's dating his brother." I forgot she didn't know the backstory. "When he came back, we did talk, but he said he was sorry and that he's been thinking about the future too." I wipe a shaky hand over my forehead. "But I can't help but think there'll be... more?" I shrug.

She doesn't say anything so I continue.

"I don't want you to hold this against him though. Obviously we are nowhere near ready for any of it... It was just a shock."

She opens her mouth to say something but then closes it again. We just look at each other for a moment before she nods and leans forward, taking my hand.

"I can see he makes you happy, Tess, so I won't say anything. But you have to admit, that is pretty odd? Even if you guys aren't ready for that... It throws up major red flags."

She wasn't wrong. But I didn't want to go through it again, not after how him leaving through that door made me feel. I had already had someone walk away from me that way once before, and no matter what it took, I was not going to let that happen again. Not ever.

"I've missed you," I tell her truthfully, half wanting to change the subject. "I've missed having you around all the time to talk to about this stuff with."

"Me too. But you're back for the holidays. And I'll come see you all the time. I might get a cooking placement up in Scotland. That would be cool, huh?"

My eyes brighten. "So cool." I hug her to me. "I love you Mils."

"I love you too," she says, just as I see the front door behind her open.

It's Greg, who I hadn't expected to see, as Millie had said he had plans tonight. He puts his finger to his lips, so I wink at him. When Millie pulls away, she keeps her back to the door and starts on the washing up so Greg tiptoes closer after depositing his shoes.

"Do you need any more help?" I ask as Greg ducks behind the stairs, keeping out of view as Millie turns around.

"No, you're good. It's all basically ready to cook now. Everything's chopped and ready now that the sausages are in."

She turns back to the sink and starts washing the bowl she had used for the sausage meat before she'd piped it. I attempt to keep a straight face as Greg tiptoes towards her, before finally jumping at her, bellowing such a loud shout that it even makes me jump. Millie jumps more though, and manages to tip the entire bowl of water down herself. I start laughing as Greg does.

It looks as though she's going to hit him with it, but instead she grabs some soap and throws it at him before jumping into his arms. He spins her around, kissing her neck as he holds her, and I can't help the fact my heart swells for them. Millie deserves to be happy, and even though Greg is often away, he is there for her more than I can ever thank him for.

As he spins he says a silent thank you to me and I nod, deciding I should go and find Jamie, leaving the two of them with some privacy before the adults all turn up.

Heading up to my room, I knock on the door and go in, and I can see him studying a page of numbers. He's concentrating, chewing the end of his pen and I can see the wrinkle on the soft skin at the top of his nose, which means he's worrying about something.

"Hey," he says when he sees me, his frown disappearing. "Sorry, is everyone here now?"

I shake my head before locking the door. "No, no one's here yet. Dinner won't be ready for a little while." I come and sit down on the side of the bed, close to the desk, but as soon as I sit, he takes my hands and pulls me onto his lap. He kisses my shoulder and then rests his forehead on it, and I can feel him relaxing as I lift my arm up to run my fingers through his hair.

"Greg's here. They're having a mini reunion downstairs so I've left them to it."

"Aww." He kisses my shoulder again.

"Yeah, I didn't want to intrude so I came up to see if you were... finished?" I ask, leaning down to kiss the side of his mouth before throwing my other leg across him so I'm straddling him on the seat at my desk.

"Yeah," he swallows, his hands moving slowly to my hips, squeezing the skin there. "I'm definitely finished now." His voice is low and husky as I feel something in his shorts hardening beneath me. "The rest can wait for tomorrow."

He cups my face in his hands and kisses me before standing up and walking us over to the bed.

"How long do we have... before... dinner?" He asks between kisses, moving his head down my chest and stomach as he lifts up my shirt to get access to my skin.

I bite my lip to stop myself from moaning. His mouth is torturing my skin and I can barely see straight, let alone answer.

"Long," is all I can say, and he grins against my stomach.

"Good."

He takes off his shirt before he stands, moving us over the bed, sliding me up it. Before long he's taking me to new highs that I never thought I could possibly reach.