IN THE DARKNESS AND comfort of Jamie's arms, my phone starts buzzing across the other side of my room.

He groans next to me and tells me to make it stop, and I laugh as I roll out of bed, practically crawling across the floor to find the incessant buzzing noise, only to find it was Dad.

"Crap," I mutter under my breath.

"Hey Dad!" I put on my chirpiest voice, at least pretending I hadn't just woken up.

I'm met with silence, and I briefly wonder if I've been pocket dialled. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Dad?"

"Hi Sweetpea... I thought you guys would be here by now?"

He wouldn't be Dad if he didn't get straight to the point.

"Um... Yeah, sorry." I look at Jamie who is now sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes, looking completely adorable with hair sticking up in all directions. "We had to stop last night because we got tired..."

My eyes widen as Jamie's do. I didn't know why I was lying, but I felt like I had to. But then Dad was like a bloodhound when it came to white lies, so I knew I was treading a very thin line.

"Well, where are you? Are you going to be here later on today? Or is it just a takeaway for one?" His voice doesn't sound angry, so I go with a humoured response.

"You can still order a takeaway - better yet we'll pay - because we will be home later." I smile because I know he is. "I'm sorry, Dad. Again."

He sighs and laughs, "It's okay. I just thought you'd decided to head to Jamie's again without telling us... so I'm just wanting to check."

"No, no, we're definitely coming back," I say, but look up as I notice Jamie waving his arms at me.

"Via your mum's," he whispers as I cup the phone.

My heart swells as I get up off the floor and join him on t he bed, kissing him quickly before I put the phone back to my ear.

"We're going back via Mum's actually, Dad," I update, not able to get rid of the smile on my face. "So if you wanted to meet us there?" I close my eyes as I prepare to catch myself in the lie. "We'll be there by dinner time."

He laughs hard, that deep chuckle I really missed.

"Dinner time? Tessa, you guys haven't even left yet have you." It wasn't a question.

"Nope." I can't help but laugh with him. "Sorry. Exams and stuff have been kicking our butts."

Jamie is rolling his eyes but I don't care. At least that part was true.

"You are ridiculous... but okay, I'll speak to your mum. And no doubt I'll see you there."

"Perfect. And the good thing is that we're all packed, so as soon as we've brushed teeth, we'll be on the road."

Jamie drops his head into one hand and chuckles, wondering why on earth I would say that given we still needed to pick his stuff up, but I just shrug. He should be used to my random outbursts by now.

"Well, just text when you've left, and we'll go from there. I'm looking forward to seeing you in any case, Sweetpea. I've missed you around here."

"I've missed you too, Dad. Is Millie there?"

"She is. Her and Greg are both here, so I'll check whether they want to join. Oh yep," he adds as I hear Millie in the background. "They've just come downstairs and they're nodding."

An excitable 'Hi Tess!' rings out from the background, which makes me smile. She was heading to New York soon, but I'm glad I'll get to see her before she goes.

"Okay... We'll see you later then," Dad says finally, his voice excited.

"Yep! Bye Dad!"

I hang up the phone and drop my head into the pillow as Jamie laughs.

"You are such a dork. After we've brushed teeth?" He shakes his head as he starts to tickle me.

"I panicked, okay!" I squeal, flinching as he pokes me in the side. "He probably thinks it's a euphemism for something now, which is probably worse. No, definitely worse."

Jamie snorts and throws his head back, laughing harder than I'd heard him laugh in a long time.

"See this is why I love you. You're a dork and you do extremely dorky things and say beautifully dorky things."

I beam up at him, trying hard to ignore the clenching of my belly due to the hooded colour of Jamie's eyes. They're making my belly clench harder with each second I look at him.

"Right. Euphemism or not, we really do need to brush our teeth or else we won't make it to Mum's by tomorrow, let alone today." My eyes soften as he smiles. "And thank you... by the way... for suggesting that." I kiss his cheek gently.

"It was the least I could do," he shrugs. "Plus you haven't seen her in ages."

"But Ellie... you-" he cuts me off by dropping a soft kiss on my lips.

"But nothing. I'd better get used to babies being around," he jokes. "Six months practice for being an uncle, right?"

I love that he's trying, I really, really do, but I see the tightness in his eyes as he says it.

He's trying to be okay with it for my sake, and I love him for it, but it is okay for him to feel that way. Not only was his sister having a baby, his ex was as well... and it wasn't as if he wouldn't see her all the time, given the fact she was having the baby with George.

He must sense my thoughts inner monologuing because he taps my knee before kissing my nose lightly.

"Brushing our teeth?"

"Yep!" I push myself up and over his lap. "Race you to the bathroom!" I shout, giving myself a large headstart as I dash out the door.

***

"I'M HUNGRY."

I announce my hunger yet again as a sign tells us we're about to go past a service station.

After quickly packing our stuff into the car, we had shockingly managed to get on the road before ten, and were making very good time. I am just trying to ignore the fact the reason we're making good time was because Jamie has been driving at ninety the whole time we've been on the motorway.

"Pup, we ate like an hour ago at Blyth. You can't be hungry again." He shakes his head. "If we stop any more we'll be late for sure."

I sigh as the service station blurs past us, pressing my head against the window as I see the shining golden M of McDonald's in the distance. The stress of the last three days has finally subsided, and after not eating much, my body was now catching up.

"I know, but I get hungry on long car journeys," I whine. "Dad always used to pack a snack box for me."

My stomach growls in confirmation, telling him I'm not just complaining for the sake of it. "Can we please stop at the next services to pick up some snacks?"

He chuckles as my stomach growls even louder but looks at me as I pout when he doesn't say anything.

"Pweeease," I say, pouting further.

He rolls his eyes and laughs. "Okay fine, but we should get enough for the whole journey, and we can switch drivers because otherwise you'll just eat it all and need to stop again."

I laugh. That's exactly what Matt used to say. Dad was always surprised I wasn't huge, the amount I ate, but I suppose with playing sports and it only happening on car journeys, it tended to counteract it.

"Thank you. I love you," I tell him and he smiles, looking sideways at me before focussing back on the road.

Taking a moment to admire him, I feel like I"ve hit the jackpot all over again.

He has that newly-showered scent, his cologne has filled the car and my senses, and even dressed in a Rangers top and chino shorts - a very odd combination - he still looks incredible. He has his Ray Bans on his head, his hair is ruffling underneath them and all in all, handsome doesn't even begin to describe him. Jackpot.

"You're staring," he states with a smirk, putting his hand on my knee. I take it in mine and kiss his knuckles before keeping it in my lap.

I shrug before answering. "I can't help it." I look out the window and sigh before looking back at him. "You're just too pretty."

He laughs his loud belly laugh again, bringing the heel of my hand to his lips to kiss. He moves his lips to my knuckles after that, and kisses them each individually, sending an electrical sensation straight through me.

I'm content to let the sensation hum through me, idly watching the fields blast by, until a familiar song chimes over the radio.

"It's our song!" Jamie says before I can, turning the volume up as the opening chords of Hallelujah fill the car.

I let his hand go, holding mine in front of my mouth like I'm holding a microphone.

He joins in with me for the chorus, and sings his verse perfectly whilst weaving in and out of lanes, his beautiful Scottish accent washing over me. As the song builds, I feel like I'm under those lights again back in November, singing with him, like it's just him and me in the world.

As we finish, he kisses my knuckles, keeping his lips close to my fingers, his breath tickling my skin.

"I love that song," I laugh before I almost jump out of my skin as the next song over the radio gives me heart attack due to the volume being so loud. Jamie laughs at me and shakes his head, turning the volume down.

"Your music is all over the place."

"Hey, take that back. My music is awesome."

He gestures to the stereo. "Case and point. What even is this anyway?"

"It's Daft Punk! You'll recognise it in a minute."

He waits a minute for dramatic effect and then rolls his eyes. "Still don't recognise it," he says, tapping the screen, making it change song.

I reach to nick the sunglasses off his head and put them on, glaring at him from behind them. He laughs because he knows what I'm doing.

The song he chooses next, I skip as soon as I realise what it is.

"Not an Ed Sheeran fan then?"

I give him an off smile and shake my head. "Not exactly." When I instantly avert my eyes, I think he understands why.

There are still so many things I can't read, listen to or watch because of Archie, because it brings back memories I'd rather forget, but Jamie seems to understand and doesn't question them most of the time. I'd had to give up on my aversion to Avengers though, even Archie isn't special enough to give them up.

"Okay, call me a dork or an idiot, but I want your top tens."

The words come out of nowhere, and it makes me laugh because it sounds like the sort of question I would ask.

"Top tens of what?"

"Duh," he says, flipping his hair in the most un-Jamie-like way. "Me. Obviously."

I giggle again as he flicks his hair back the other way.

"You are a dork!"

"It's why we're made for each other."

I lean sideways in my chair and kiss his cheek before I lean back and start on my list.

"Ten to one or one to ten?"

He scoffs, "What's the difference?"

"Best one first or worst one first?" I explain as if it's obvious.

"Worst one?"

"Well, who says I'll even be able to find ten?" I joke and he pokes me in the side. I giggle and he shakes his head before I know which one to pick.

"Ten to one."

He waves his hand at me, basically telling me to get on with it.

"Ten iiiiiiiis..." I pretend to think about it for effect, but I smile when I have it. "Your moles."

"My m-" he frowns as he looks at me, but smiles as he looks back at the road. "Baby, that is so random."

I shake my head. It wasn't random to me. When I can't sleep, I like to count them, like I'm counting sheep. Even when he's sleeping, he helps me. Although his moles were something I needed to keep an eye on when he was older, it wasn't random at all for me.

"I count the ones on your back sometimes."

I smile, my cheeks heating as he takes my hand.

"Ahhh, so that's what you're doing..."

"Yeah, that and playing dot to dot. I can sometimes do it for hours...

"Hours? No way."

I giggle as I shake my head. "Most of the time you do wake up... but you circle me in your arms, kiss the back of my head and then tell me you love me... and I go straight off to sleep."

"Maybe I should sleep on my back more?"

My face falls comically and he chuckles.

"Nah, I wouldn't do that. To be honest I thought it was you doing it in your sleep, but now that I know it's you counting it's even more adorable." He kisses my hand and then sighs. "And if that was number ten, I'm actually worried for nine."

"It's great. But it's not enough to distract me from the fact you've just passed another service station without stopping, Jamie. I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work." He's lucky this one didn't have a McDonald's.

"Damn, I was hoping you wouldn't notice..."

I shake my head before getting back on with our game.

"Niiiiiine is..." Again, I pretend to think about it before pointing at Jamie's head. "That."

"You love my head?"

"I love what's in your head."

He smiles as he kisses my hand again.

"All those useless accounting facts that only you seem to understand."

"Hey, you never seem to be mocking me when you're texting me half way through your quizzes every Wednesday night."

"Yeah, because my friends seem to have the same weird brains... Although that's an idea."

"What?"

"Should I ask Rob if we can do one at Black Flag?"

"A quiz?" I nod. "You know what, Rob would love that. He's been saying he needs to find a way to bring back other punters, who aren't between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two."

"Slight problem with that though."

"What's that?" He frowns.

"The fact that eighteen to twenty-twos love quizzes too." I wink as he narrows his eyes. "But I am going to suggest it. Who doesn't love a weekly quiz? We did one back home, at our local every Tuesday. Matt and Archie were like our not-so secret weapons."

I remember one week where we got every single question right thanks to it being a guest quizmaster who seemed to only ask questions on nineties movies and impressionist painters. Naturally, Archie and Matt were in their element.

"Archie is like a walking encyclopaedia," I laugh, but then I suddenly stop when I realise what I'm saying.

I look across at him and for once Jamie doesn't look like he's seeing red, which is a surprise all in itself.

"I'm sorry."

"No," He shakes his head quickly. "No, don't be." His face goes serious for a moment but then he smiles. "Keep going. Tell me about your quizzes."

I don't say anything for a moment, wondering whether to do as he says, but with an encouraging smile and a nod from him, I keep going. And as I relive each memory, I find it easier with each sentence, feeling like I can breathe a little easier. I only stop when the music cuts out and I notice Mum is ringing me.

"Hey Mum!" I chirp.

"Hey love, whereabouts are you?" I can hear crying in the background, followed by Mark mumbling and shushing. I must be on speaker.

Looking at the sat nav, it says we're still about three hours out from them. I tell her as such just as very loud temper tantrum rings out over the phone.

"Aww Ellie, hey," Mum croons softly. "Hey, guess who's here. It's Tessa. Big sister, Tessa."

I take that as my cue and embrace my baby voice, ignoring Jamie tensing next to me. I can't help it, Mum needs me to, because for some reason, Ellie seems to love it.

She puts me on video so I can see her and she's dressed in a lion onesie, which actually has a small tail, which is beyond cute.

"What's with all the crying big girl, eh?"

The crying keeps going, but when Mum says Tessa about twelve more times, and I keep going with baby voice, she starts to calm down.

"There we go. You excited to see me?" I know she can't answer or understand me, but I swear I hear Tessa in amongst all the baby babble.

Mum manages to get her to calm down after a couple of minutes, and she's a bit more calm when she speaks down the phone again.

"I'm not having to cook anything later am I?" She asks, her voice hopeful.

"Nope." She visibly sighs in relief. "Takeaway. Let me know what you and Mark want and we'll choose our bits. Dad should be on his way to you now. And it's on us," I say as Jamie takes the exit that heads towards the motorway Mum's house is on.

"Okay great. Ellie may be sleeping when you arrive... just to warn you."

"That's okay, I can still have cuddles if I'm careful," I joke. I had been last time. We both fell asleep in Mum's rocking chair. Mark found us, and apparently I'd helped her sleep through. I joked that tiredness was infectious.

"She will love that. Are you all staying?"

I look at Jamie and he shrugs indifferently. "We can, but it's up to Dad. He might want to get home. Plus we don't want to intrude."

"Tess, you're my kid, you're never intruding," she says, and I can hear she's smiling.

I smile too. "I'll check with Dad... but we are definitely game." Jamie nods too and moves back into the fast lane. "We've driven a long way." Jamie clears his throat. "Okay, Jamie's driven a long way." I'd done an hour at the beginning before Jamie complained I was driving too slow.

"Cool. Well, I'll let you guys get on. Drive safe, and I love you, Tess. Can't wait to see you. You too, Jamie."

"You too Mum! Cannot wait for cuddles!" I say again before she hangs up. "Sorry about that," I say, apologising about baby voice.

"Hey, don't be sorry. You know you sound adorable when you do it..." he looks sideways. "Despite my flinching," he jokes. Or half jokes. At least he acknowledges it.

"You know she's not that much of a screamy child," I say, turning around in my seat. "She's teething I think, which doesn't help, but she doesn't really cry."

"I know. And I promise I will get over it when I get there. Just be patient with me," he says, taking my hand again and bringing it to his knuckles.

I lean sideways and kiss his cheek.

"Now. What's number eight."