WHEN I GET DOWNSTAIRS, Dad has already put the kettle on for me, and made the tea, and is just setting up the iPad on the kitchen table.

"You ready? Tea's already brewing," he says as he hits call on Mum and Mark's name on the screen.

I quickly run over to the sofa, and within seconds of me sitting down, it connects and Mark's smiling face is shining back at us, albeit slightly distorted due to the fact Dad's internet here is rubbish.

"Hey Mark!" I call, my voice sounding so overly-chirpy that Dad gives me an odd look.

The last time I'd seen Mark he had short, cropped hair and a shaven chin. Now he has a thick bush of hair on his head and an equally bushy beard. I didn't know when they got back, but I expect it was relatively recently if he hadn't had the chance to shave it off yet.

"Hey guys, how you doing?" He asks, his face as cheery as ever.

"We're alright," I say, answering for both of us. "Beard looks great Mark," I joke and he scratches his chin.

"Ah yeah, thanks," he laughs, rolling his eyes. "You've caught me in between tasks. Beard trim was next," he jokes.

"I thought we'd catch you in a different country?" Dad asks, and I look at him. He seems confused that Mark and Mum were even at home, but I wasn't sure why.

"Well... we, erm..." Mark looks just off camera where I'm guessing Mum is. "Something... kind of happened unexpectedly that made us have to cut our trip short."

He's smiling, so it can't be anything bad. And when I hear him whisper what sounds like a "you ready" to Mum, I look at Dad, who just shrugs back, not knowing what's going on.

"What's happened?" I ask, confused.

"Well, Tess... we've had some good news," Mark tells me, leaning close the camera. His grin is huge and I can see the joy and ecstasy in his eyes. "Some good news."

"What is it?" I ask, smiling just as wide as Mark is. I have no idea why I'm smiling, but his grin is so infectious I can't help it.

Just as I'm about to repeat my question, Mum comes onto camera, and I immediately know what had unexpectedly brought them home and my hands fly to my mouth in shocked excitement.

"Mum!"

She laughs at my reaction, and even through the blurred picture in front of me, I can tell she has tears in her eyes.

"You're pregnant?!" I squeal into the screen. "Oh my God, guys, you're going to have a baby!" I stamp my feet up and down on the floor in front of me and squeal again.

"We are!" She says, cradling her bump. It isn't a huge bump but it's large enough for people to notice. "Six months now, and complete shock... to both of us!"

Mark kisses the side of her head as I look at Dad, tears coming to my own eyes. A wide smile decorates his face. He's incredibly happy for her, and I can tell it means the world to both Mum and to Mark.

"Mum, you look so beautiful," I tell her, tears coming to my eyes. I was even more happy we were asking them to come down now because it means I can hug her, and this new bump. I never dreamt I would be able to have the chance to be a sister again... But now it seems I was wrong. And this time I am so glad I was.

"Aw, sweetie, don't cry!" She says, dabbing at her eyes. "You'll set me off!" It seems I already had.

"I can't help it!" I sob as Dad puts an arm around me. "Did you know?" I ask him quietly, turning to him.

He shakes his head but I have a feeling he's had a suspicion. Flying home five months early from a trip to the Amazon rainforest that had taken two years to plan, it either screams of a tropical disease... or a baby! In any case, I am beyond ecstatic and I lunge forward and wrap my arms around Dad's neck, squeezing him, only letting him go when he coughs after a minute as I'm squeezing too tight.

"Do you know whether it's a girl or a boy?" I ask, turning my attention back to Mum, who was drying tears of her own.

"I do," Mum laughs. "But Mark doesn't want to know until it arrives." She makes a gesture to zip her lips shut and he rolls his eyes. As she watches me her eyes soften. "Tess, are you sure you're okay with this?" Her face is now etched with concern.

What? "Yes! Of course I'm okay with it! I'm going to have a little brother or a little sister! Oh my God. In three months I'm going to have a little sibling!" I want to climb up on the roof and scream it loud enough for everyone to hear. "I need to call Ar-" I gasp and cut myself off, realising what I had just said.

The video call goes quiet and my cheeks burn as I feel all eyes turn on me and my blunder.

"Sorry." I shake my head, disappointed in myself for wanting to tell him the news. It's been a year, and him not being here is apparently still something I'm getting used to.

"How did you find out?" Dad asks, thankfully changing the subject. He takes my hand under the table and squeezes it.

Mark clears his throat and starts explaining how Mum had had a stomach ache for nearly four days continuously about three weeks ago.

"They were like nothing you would ever believe," Mum continues. "I thought I must have picked up a parasite or something, as we'd been in water the week before. I'm not even going to mention the food or toilet facilities."

Dad waves his hand and I laugh.

"Anyway," Mark steers us away from toilets, "when the stomach ache persisted, we handed over to the other team and drove to the closest town, just to get her checked over. To be safe." He chuckles. "I couldn't understand a word they were saying, but when the nurse wrapped a watermelon in a blanket and handed it to me, I nearly fainted." He laughs. "I certainly knew what she meant."

"Aw!" I cup my mouth. "That's the cutest thing ever!"

"Mark cried!" Mum laughs.

"Hey, you did, too!" He narrows his eyes at her but then kisses her cheek. "Anyway, after hearing that, we rang the team and said we'd be flying home. There was no way we'd be wading in more water or enduring badly cooked meals after news like that. We had no idea how far along you were either," he adds, turning to Mum. "We got back about a week ago and have been going hospital appointments since then."

"Yeah, you've actually caught us in a free moment," Mum jokes. "And I think Mark was just about to get started on food?" She looks at him hopefully. "Eating for two is hard," she adds with a smile.

He shakes his head but nods before turning back to us.

"But enough about our news." Mark waves and then gestures towards me. "Tess, how's uni?" he asks.

I groan inwardly. I'd been hoping he wouldn't ask. "It's fine."

"Just fine?" he frowns. "Come on, you're in second year now. There must have been something exciting happen?"

I shake my head. "Not really. Our two-coupled household has now become a three-coupled household... and that's pretty much sums up second year so far," I say with a shrug.

"How come you're back?" Mum asks.

"Reading Week," I say truthfully. "I'm not trying to twist Dad's arm to allow me to stay home this time, don't worry guys," I laugh, assuring them both as I see worry cross both of their faces.

When I'd wanted to stay last year, I was slightly taken aback when it had been Mark who had convinced me that going back was the best and right thing to do. Dad had ninety percent convinced me, but it was Mark that pushed me to one-hundred, telling me that I was the strongest of us all. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about it.

"We were hoping we would see you guys in person soon, anyway - now that we're back. How long are you down for Tessa?" Mum asks.

"I've got a train back up next Sunday, so I'm here all week. But that is actually what we were ringing about." I look at Dad with a smile. "We wondered if you guys wanted to come down for the next few days. Or all week?" I suggest and Dad nods in agreement as Mark and Mum look at each other.

"I don't see why not," Mum says with a laugh and my eyebrows raise, shocked it had been that easy. Usually you have to book her months in advance. "I've been told to take it easy with bump now, so I'm sure I can do some relaxing at yours. Better company too," she giggles and Mark narrows his eyes.

I laugh at her joke.

"Well, are you free tonight?" Dad asks. "If you don't have any plans, you can come down now and spend the week?"

I grip his hand tightly and squeeze him as Mark smiles. "You know what, that sounds great actually." He looks to Mum and she nods. She actually looks relieved.

Of course, now it now felt awkward saying why we wanted them to come down over the phone, but part of me thinks Mum probably already knows. Mentioning Matt wasn't exactly Taboo, but it isn't a happy subject either. And it seems Dad and I both agree it's a subject best talked about in person as he doesn't mention it either. She hadn't been to the house for nearly six months now, so I think it could be refreshing to have her back. Refreshing or strange... I wasn't sure which yet.

"Well, we'd better get packed then, eh?" Mark suggests.

"Pack your cooking stuff," I tell him, pushing my mind away from remembering the sight of Mum crying for weeks on end. "Millie's back for the weekend and she's bound to be wanting to talk your ear off."

Mark's cookery podcast now has thousands of subscribers and Millie is a real celebrity at her culinary school for knowing him. He promised he would make an appearance at some point but I think a little someone is about to keep him busy.

"That I shall." He grins. "Anyways, I'll get our stuff and leave you guys to chat baby things. I know you're dying to tell them," he jokes to Mum, before standing and kissing the top of her head.

She grins up at him and as we hear the door close behind her, she leans close to the screen. "Do you guys want to be surprised, too? Or shall I tell you?" She asks.

I look at Dad and he shrugs, leaving the decision to me. "Let's keep it as a surprise," I say with a wink and she smiles.

"I thought you would."She taps her nose.

I smile. "Mum, I can't believe you're going to have a baby!"

"I know!" She says just as excitedly. "It's so crazy!" She sighs before rubbing her growing bump lovingly. "I thought I was done with kids, but apparently the world says otherwise."

There's something about that sentence that didn't sit right with me. But from her expression, it sounds like it didn't sit right with her either. Saying she was done was a bit strange, but then, losing someone you've had such an emotional tether to - losing your own child - I can maybe see how or why she feels that way. The possibility of losing another child maybe... it didn't bear thinking about. But as Matt had been taken away from us so unexpectedly, maybe it was still shock.

"I'm sorry..." she says, her voice cracking as she pinches the bridge of her nose. She looks at both of us and a tear trickles down her cheek. "I am excited, I promise. I just don't want either of you to think this baby means I'll forget about Matt."

I shake my head. "Mum, I would never think that."

A tearful smile crosses her face and she fans her face and exhales over dramatically as a laugh bubbles up over her.

It is strange to think I'll have a brother or sister in three months time. But that's only because I sometimes forget that Mum is actually my mum sometimes. Because she's hardly around, even since being more involved in our lives, she acted more like a best friend than our mum most of the time. But I liked that. I liked that I always felt comfortable to tell her absolutely anything. Even if she was thousands of miles away, she would still be the only person I would think of calling in a heartbeat if I had any problems. She still is.

I was excited to see a new side to her being a mum. And I knew that kid was going to get a whole lot of love, not just from her and Mark, but from me and Dad as well. I couldn't wait.

A distant shout down the line breaks me out of my daydream. "Ah shoot, guys that's Mark calling me." Mum turns quickly, shouting back to Mark that she was coming. "I'd better go. But I will see you very soon okay. I'll text when we're leaving."

I nod. "Okay. Love you Mum!"

"Love you, too, Sweetie. Bye Andy!" She waves and blows a kiss at us.

Dad waves awkwardly. "See ya, Lo." And with that, she's gone.

As I put the iPad back in its case, Dad sits back with a sigh. He's smiling, and I love seeing him smile. I haven't seen it enough.

"Dad, be honest, did you know?" I ask, taking a sip of my tea as I sit back.

He turns his head and winks. I knew he did. "I had an inkling." He chuckles when I poke him lightly in his stomach before settling my head on his shoulder. "But seeing your reaction has clearly made her happy, though." He looks down at me and I know what he means. "I can imagine she would have been nervous to tell you."

"No, I think it's great. It'll be so nice to have a tiny person running around again." It was about time we had some more positive news these days. "And I am soooooooo being there for him and her, like, all the time."

Dad smiles. "Of course you will. You'll be their big sister!" He says, beaming proudly at me with red cheeks.

He clears his throat. "Anyway," he sighs and pats my knee. "Do you fancy a film?" He asks, scratching the back of his head. "Seeing as we're now waiting for them for dinner?"

I nod and sit up. "Yeah sure. What do you fancy?" I hadn't really watched many films, as I'd been busy working or avoiding any genres that would bring back bad memories.

"Something light. Something funny," he suggests and I grimace.

"No rom-coms. Could we watch a Disney one?" I ask, thinking he will probably turn his nose up.

But then he surprises me when he nods. "What about that new one?"

"What new one?" I frown, shocked that I'd missed one.

He gestures with his hands. "You know... The one with the... erm... the tattooed person." He taps his forehead, trying to remember and I laugh. "The Rock?" He finally says, looking up at me. "Is that right?"

I raise my eyebrows, impressed he knows anything about it. "Moana?" I laugh. "Yeah, sure. I haven't seen that one since the cinema." It was also one I hadn't seen with either of the boys - being classed as, quote, unquote, 'too girly' - so it was one of the few films that hadn't been condemned to the 'NAY' list of films I could never watch again.

Once I've set up the disc and we're watching the opening credits, my phone buzzes a few times. Thinking it might be Millie I check it but see flurry of messages from Nelly. I smile as I see there are a few pictures attached.

Missing you! Will's managed to convince us all to do karaoke!

Hope all is okay with the fam! xx

I smile as I look at some of the pictures she's sent with it. I do love my housemates, and I do miss them, no matter what I'd been feeling earlier. And I'm hoping we do karaoke again, because that does look like fun.

"Who's that?" Dad asks, trying to look over at my phone.

"Oh, it's just Nelly." I show him some of the photos and he smiles and widens his eyes. "They're out tonight, so looks like I've been spared a messy one."

I smile as I pull my phone back and reply to her.

Oooooh, what you gonna sing?

Yeah, fam is all good here!

And I've got some exciting news for you for when I'm back xx

My pocket buzzes again as Moana starts singing again. She's ignored my first question and gone straight to the second item.

Omggggggggggggggggg!! I can't wait! :D

What have you guys been up to today? xx

I decide not tell her I'd been crying at least half of the day, and just focuss on the here and now.

Just watching Moana with Dad :)

I giggle as Dad starts nodding his head to the music.

His choice I might add :') xx

Hahaha nice! I'd better leave you guys to it :)) xx

Hopefully heads won't be too sore tomorrow?! :p xx

<3 xx

"A smile?" Dad asks as I put my phone on the living room table.

I shrug. "Maybe..." I sink lower and rest my head on his shoulder.

I feel him move his head to look down at me, but I don't move mine.

Mum's news has made me smile. I'm so happy for them, as the baby will be an exciting new journey for them. And I think that this news is exactly what I needed to help pick myself up out of this funk I've got myself into. Life has to go on, and I had to start understanding and embracing that, not digging in my heels trying to stop it from moving forward.

As I hum along to 'How Far I'll Go', I tell myself I can do this.

I can be happy again.