THAT MESSAGE FROM MILLIE is still haunting me by the time I finally sink into the semblance of sleep. And as I'm jostled awake, the words feel like they're imprinted on my eyes.

"Tess?"

My eyes fly open as Jamie's voice whispers right next to my ear.

Opening my eyes slowly, I smack my lips, groaning at the faint taste of vomit in my mouth. As I take in the room, the doctor and a nurse are standing in front of us. Jamie is now sitting in the chair next to me, rather than nestled in the bed, and the doctor is flicking through an extensive mass of paper on my clipboard.

"You, Miss Granger, are a mystery," he announces, flicking the pages back and tucking the clipboard under his arm.

The nurse moves next to me and gently takes my hand, examining the canular currently in my hand. I look down at the kit next to her and it seems she's taking it out, which I'm glad of.

"Don't look, sweetie," she tells me, and I suddenly think about what she's doing and turn back towards Jamie, who takes my other hand.

It's a weird sensation when she pulls it out, but it's a relief to be able to move my hand without stabbing myself inwardly. She wipes at my skin, cleaning off the excess bit of blood, before putting a cotton swab and plaster over the small cut. When she's done, she gives me a smile and nods at the doctor as he starts to speak.

"Why is she a mystery?" Jamie asks.

"I've never been called a mystery," I admit with a small laugh. Everyone has always told me that I'm a completely open book.

"You certainly are one today. We've tested bloods for a whole range of things with the same symptoms - vomiting, pain and dizziness - but they're all clear. Clean bill of health all round."

"But why is that a mystery?" Jamie repeats.

"Well, fainting spells and vomiting is usually a sign of something, and things would usually show up on blood tests."

Usually. I want to laugh. Usually people don't hear ex-boyfriends calling out to them before they faint. Nothing that had happened in the last twenty-four hours was normal... but then it also couldn't be explained either, so it just best not to.

"But Tessa, you did come up clear across the board, and as there haven't been any issues overnight... I'd say we can't keep you hear any longer."

Jamie and I look at each other before we both nod.

"But please do come in again if you feel dizzy, or you feel sick, shortness of breath... anything, okay."

I nod again before he smiles.

"Well in that case," he says, signing something at the bottom of the clipboard, "I can officially discharge you."

"It's that easy?" I ask.

"Yep. But like I said, please come back in if anything changes, okay."

He nods once more at both of us before he pulls open the curtain and leaves the cubicle, leaving us both a bit flummoxed.

"Well..." I start after the two of us have been quiet for a few minutes. "At least there's nothing wrong with me?"

"Yeah..." He blows out his breath and gives an unconvinced laugh. "I suppose."

He's looking at me strangely so I frown back at him before he finally says what he's thinking.

"Are you sure you want to go back home today?"

I'd been thinking about that too, and I wasn't sure going home today was a great idea.

I shake my head. "No. Not today."

But then the unwelcome thought that had been pushing at me since Millie told me she won't be home for Christmas comes back to my brain.

"I don't think I want to go back at all, to be honest."

His eyebrows raise as he drops his jacket.

With Mum almost ready to pop, along with her aversion to any kind of meat smell, Dad rang me a couple of weeks ago to say we were firstly spending Christmas at Mum and Mark's, and secondly that we were having a vegetarian Christmas. I got the fact that we couldn't eat the turkey, and it wasn't as if it was for long, but it was the going to Mum and Mark's for Christmas bit that bothered me.

Every year since we were born, we'd had Christmas at ours with everybody. Even when Mum and Dad split up, she would be always be around at ours every Christmas Day. We had my grandparents round, Mum, Dad and it was always the best day. We would all be in pyjamas all day - the only day of the year Dad allowed it - and we would just eat and watch TV the whole time.

Last year had been a write off, because no one had really felt like celebrating anything. Mum and Mark still came round, as well as my grandparents, but no one hardly said a word all day because no one knew what to say. I'd been excited to celebrate it this year, but now with Millie away and us being at Mum's, the more I thought about it, the more I really didn't want to be at home.

"I can decide later," I tell Jamie, waving my hand like it's nothing. I hadn't fully decided what I wanted to do yet, and to be honest I didn't mind just being up here on my own.

Jamie nods as he hands me my bag.

"Did you want to come back to mine then? Well, Rob's?"

I smile as I nod, pulling on my coat. "If that's still okay?"

"Of course it is," he smiles, just as I hear Archie's voice in the back of my head.

I gasp and flinch away, as if I'd just touched something hot.

Jamie looks at me strangely but I smile, shaking my hand out. "Yeah, just got an electric shock I think."

He doesn't question me as he packs all my stuff back into the bag I'd had with me yesterday, as my plan was to spend the night with him last night anyway. He slings it over his shoulder once it's zipped and holds out his arm for me to slip into. I do so and wrap my arms around his waist as we walk down the corridor, out the door and into the snow.

When we get to the main road, we head to the taxi rank and wait for a taxi to pull in, not even contemplating walking back to Jamie's as an option.

"Will this snow ever melt?" I ask, kicking at compacted ice on the pavement.

"Not likely. Not any time soon."

I giggle as he winks.

"I love snow at Christmas," I tell him.

"Who doesn't?"

"True..." But then I remember someone that didn't. "Matt didn't."

He tips his head down to look at me but I keep my eyes on the horizon.

"Yeah, he loves the sunshine. Hated the snow, and would never build snowmen with us. Not even when we had a snow day."

I can tell he wants to ask me more about him, and I know I should want to tell him more. But somehow I always freeze when I go to do it.

But there was one other person I knew it was about time I mentioned, no matter how much I didn't want to. I had to.

"I need to tell you something when we get back," I blurt.

Again, Jamie's eyebrows raise.

"It's nothing bad," I tell him, despite it probably being a little bit bad. I step forward into him more and lean up on my tiptoes to kiss him. "I promise."

I keep my face close to his as he looks at me, a slow but steady smile crossing his features. He kisses me once more before nodding. "Okay, yeah sure." He sounds worried but before I can reassure him again, though, he changes the subject. "Are you all packed? Did you want to pick anything up from yours before tomorrow?"

I shake my head. "I've got clothes at Dad's."

It's quiet between us for a few minutes again and I can feel tension radiating off him after what I've just said.

"There's just stuff I haven't told you. And I need you to hear it."

As he turns his head, I see the insecurity in his eyes and I hate that I had put it there.

But after yesterday, after sleeping together for the first time, I feel like I can no longer hold some things back. He needs to hear the truth. He needs to hear why my head is as screwed up as it is.

Even though I'm dreading telling him, dreading his reaction, to me bringing up Archie, I'm prepared to do it. I just hoped he wouldn't run for the hills...

But there was one other thing I wanted to tell him. And as he kisses my forehead before flagging down the taxi coming towards us, I have a feeling he'll one thing better than he'll take the other.

I just hoped the latter thing was enough.