AS THE WORLD COMES back into focus, I have no idea where I am.

I flail with my hands and I knock at something on my face - a mask, I think - and as I take in my surroundings, my back hurts and I'm hearing all kinds of beeping and voices around me, fussing on something.

Reaching out again, something pulls tight on my arm and I wince, and as I take in more, I realise how late I am to meet Jamie and start to struggle.

"Wh-"

I pull at the mask on my face but both the nauseous feeling in my stomach and someone's calming but strong hands stop me.

"Hi Sweetie," the voice next to me says.

I try to focus through the thick plastic of the mask as she gently encourages me to lie back on the bed. My eyes flicker to her overalls, which has a hospital badge on it.

"Where am I?" I ask. "What... happened?" My voice is feeble, and the mask is making me sound more like Darth Vader.

She looks at the machine to my left and then looks back at me. "You're in an ambulance. You've been unconscious and someone said you hit your head, so we're just taking you to get checked out, okay?"

Unconscious? I frown.

To be honest I can't remember much. Now that she's mentioned it, I do remember falling, but I can't seem to be remember anything prior to that. I left the house, went to the bar with Nelly, started walking to meet Jamie... but then it all it goes blank.

"Can you tell me your name, Sweetie?"

I focus on her again, deciding trying to fix the blank spots is useless. "Tessa. Tessa Granger."

"Hi Tessa, my name's Mel, and he's Griff," she says, pointing to a second person wearing green overalls. Now that I was focussing, I could definitely tell I was in an ambulance.

"Hi," I tell them feebly, starting to feel really tired all of a sudden.

"Is there anyone you'd like us to call?"

I cough as I nod and I try to sit up again, as I felt like I couldn't breathe properly lying down. Melanie helps sit me up and keeps a hold of me.

"My boyfriend. Archie. Is he-" I suddenly stop as I realise what I'm saying, shaking my head as the memory of what happened suddenly catapults back into my head.

Archie. Oh my God. The last thing I remember before it all went black was him calling my name, calling it as if he were standing right in front of me. He sounded so desperate, and I could hear the hurt and sadness consuming him as he shouted my name into the void. But I also remember the pain. The skull-splitting pain that rocketed up my neck, overwhelming me completely.

"You want us to call Archie?" she asks. "Do you have his number?"

I shake my head.

"No?"

I pull my mask away from my face as I shake my head again. My mouth feels really dry so I lick my lips to try and wet them.

"I meant Nelly. My friend Nelly." I changed my mind. Nelly can call Jamie for me. I can't call Jamie like this... not when I still seem to be between what's dreaming up in my head and what is actually real. I can still see Archie's soft brown eyes in my mind, and right now they're calling out to me just as much in this silence as they were in my dreams.

"Nelly. Have you got your phone?" she asks.

I nod. "My bag."

She finds my bag next to me and holds it in front of me so I can put in my code. She shows me the phone screen as she scrolls through to find Nelly's number and puts the phone to her ear.

"Oh hi there," she says calmly. "Is this Nelly?"

I can't hear what Nelly's saying, because my focus keeps going in and out, but she sounds angry and confused, probably thinking someone had nicked my phone.

I feel sick again, so instead of focussing on the conversation, I fix my gaze on a stationery item and pray that the nausea goes away. My head is hurting too.

"My name is Melanie and I'm a paramedic. I have Tessa in the ambulance with me, and she just wanted me to ring you to say she's okay."

Nelly must be saying something because Melanie is quiet for a minute.

"She collapsed. And she's fine. She's awake. She looks like she's taken a nasty bump to the head, but she's awake."

Over the fuzziness in my ears, I can hear how concerned Nelly sounds. If I didn't feel like my entire body would fall out of my butt, I would sit up and pull the phone away from Melanie. Instead, I settle for mumbling through my mask.

"Can she call Jamie?" I call.

Melanie turns her head to look at me. "Sorry, what was that sweetie?" she asks me as I pull off the mask, taking a deep gulp of air beforehand.

I take a deep breath. "Can she call... Jamie?" Another breath. "And ask him to meet... us there?"

She nods as she places the mask back on my face again, immediately making it easier for me to breathe. There is a sense of rising panic building up inside me, but I know I'm not panicking for me. I'm panicking for someone else. And when I close my eyes, lights swirl above me and I hear strange noises.

Archie, please say you're okay! I think to myself as I try to focus.

I hear Melanie relay the question to Nelly, and when she gets a confirmation, she nods at me, making me sink down on the gurney in relief.

He was probably wondering where I am... I have no idea how long I'd been out cold and I bet he thinks I've stood him up.

I shake my head as Melanie hangs up the phone. "Tessa, Sweetie, Jamie's going to meet us there. Can you tell me what your Jamie looks like? So we can tell Reception to let him through when you arrive?"

Taking a deep breath, I try to focus on what Jamie looks like, but in my mind's eye I have a Archie-Jamie hybrid working its way to the forefront of my mind. Not able to decipher between the two for a moment, I decide to keep the details vague.

"Tall. Ginger hair," I say, closing my eyes as I try to concentrate. "Smells like... oranges."

It's getting harder and harder to stay awake now, and it seems Melanie has noticed because her voice gets a little louder, as if she's trying to keep me from falling asleep.

"Tessa, you still with me?" she asks and I nod feebly, despite me not being able to do a thing to stop myself from falling into the black abyss below me.

***

WHEN I WAKE AGAIN, I'm in a hospital bed, in a hospital ward, and I am feeling a lot better.

I can hear the hustle and bustle of noise outside my cubicle, and the guilt of me taking up a bed that is way more useful to someone else starts gnawing at me. It's Christmas, and I'm sure the nurses here have way better things to do than babysit someone who seems to be hallucinating.

I had a little bump on my head... and I was seeing things. That didn't mean anything.

Okay fine, maybe it did.

I sigh as I lean back again but then sit upright again as I suddenly remember Jamie.

Scrambling out from under the duvet, I reach over to my bag to grab my phone and see I have about five messages, with about twenty missed calls, all from Jamie.

I open the app and read them, cupping my mouth and gasping at each new message.

Hey, so sorry. I know you're probably on your way, but Rob's slammed tonight, so I'm going to have to meet you there. Go to Riddle & Finn's. I'll explain when I see you xx

Okay... Rob's finally let me go. You're probably nearly there, so table is under my name. I'm so sorry, Tess. Order whatever you want to drink :) I'll catch up! xx

Hey? Where are you? I just got here and they said they gave our table away? Just tried to ring but you aren't answering...

Okay Tess.. I'm getting worried. Please say you're okay. I'll wait at the restaurant... I'm so sorry I'm late xx

That's the last message. He thinks I'm mad at him because he was late, and I absolutely hate myself right now. I'm hoping the lack of messages after that means that Nelly got in touch with him... and that he's on his way here. But then again, I've probably blown it.

Why did this have to happen now? Why today?

A tear drops on to my screen as I fumble to type a message back, but I'm stopped when the curtain is pulled back and a very worried-looking Jamie is standing in front of me.

"Oh my God, Tess?"

Despite the worry crossing his features, I focus on what he's wearing. He's dressed all in black - dress coat, shirt, black trousers and boots - except his bright white bow tie, which is untied around his neck, his top button undone. He looks so handsome.

Before he can say anything, I speak first, but it comes out as a sob and is probably unintelligible.

"I'm so sorry, Jamie," I cry, and I watch his features soften through my blurry eyes.

A sob comes out of me as his hands reach my shoulders and I push my face into his shirt, breathing in his oaky scent, letting it wash calm all over me.

"Tess, what happened? I was getting really worried when Nelly rang me... told me you were here. She said you collapsed?"

I wipe my eyes as he sits down next to me, taking the hand not attached to a drip in his.

"I don't know exactly," I start to explain, trying to push the foggy memories of Archie out of my brain.

"I just... sort of felt all wobbly, like I wasn't in my own body. It was really strange. I fell over... and I think I must have hit my head."

From the feel of the thumping headache, I'd say I more than hit it.

"You fell over?"

I nod. "Well, I fainted. Then I fell over." I wipe my nose before looking up at him. "When I left I felt fine and I don't understand what happened, I'm so sorry," I sniffle, pulling myself back into his shirt.

"Tess, why do you keep saying you're sorry?" he says with humour in his voice, unclamping me from his side and cupping my cheeks.

I sniff. "Because you had all this planned," I sob, gesturing to his suit. "I ruined it, and I thought you'd be mad."

"Mad?" He shakes his head. "Tess, you're such a dork. You're what matters, okay. It may be your birthday but you're worth more than a fondue dinner."

My jaw drops when he says fondue, but when he chuckles, I know he's teasing.

"We'll go another time," I tell him before he kisses my nose.

"To be honest, when Nelly rang me she wasn't making much sense at all; she was really hysterical. But when she said the words 'Tessa', 'hospital' and 'unconscious', she didn't need to say any more."

"I'm so s-"

He clamps my mouth shut gently between his fingers and I giggle. "Stop saying sorry." He holds his hands there for a few seconds before removing them. "Have you seen a doctor yet?" he asks, leaning up to peek through the gap in the curtain.

"Not while I've been awake," I say just as a wave of heat comes over me. It goes away just as quickly so I nod at Jamie as he looks at me with concern. "I feel completely fine now, so whatever it is has obviously passed."

"What did happen? Did you trip or something?"

I shake my head. "Nelly and I had a drink, but I don't know. I felt way drunker than I was."

I remember feeling like my whole body was on fire from the amount of alcohol in my system. But it wasn't in my system.

"My head then started to split, and I felt this crackling pain go right through me."

"Tess, that doesn't sound good?" Jamie says, looking at me as if I'd sprouted a couple of extra heads. "Maybe you're concussed?"

I shrug. "Possib-"

I stop when another wave of heat comes over me, this time bringing nausea with it. I lurch forward for the sick pan, just managing to get it in when a doctor pulls back the curtain.

Vomit burns my throat as it comes up, and I can feel all those spirits come back up. Jamie just about manages to hand me a second pan when the doctor takes my first one away, and he gently rubs my back as I dry heave, gasping for breath.

"Not fine, huh?" Jamie says, concern etched over his face again as I cough, spitting vomit-riddled spit into the pan.

Definitely not fine. I think horrendous is more the word I'd use.

There is a flurry of activity around me for the next few minutes as the nurses get me gently out of bed and into clean scrubs, before changing the sheets on my bed. I apologise profusely, offering to help, but Jamie holds me back as they work efficiently.

In the back of my mind I can feel Archie, but I push him back, wanting - needing - to focus on my own reality instead of his. Archie isn't here, I am, and right now I look like a headcase...

"Tessa, I know this is a tough question, but I have to ask, okay. But have you taken anything in the last few hours that could have elicited this reaction?"

I'm about to respond calmly with the fact I'd had two Malibu and cokes, when Jamie responds for me. And angrily.

"Absolutely fucking not!" he shouts, clearly taking offence at even the mention of me taking drugs. "She doesn't do that."

The doctor raises his defensively to calm him and I put a feeble hand on his arm. He looks down at me and his features soften as I shake my head as my answer, telling him that I'd had a couple of drinks before I went out, but not enough to stumble and fall the way I did. I decide to keep hearing the voice in my head to myself. That wouldn't have gone over well.

"Have you eaten anything? Any food that could have caused this reaction either?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No, I've had a sandwich... and some birthday cake."

The doctor nods.

"And when was your last period?" he asks as I grip my stomach.

I don't miss the fact Jamie goes completely rigid next to me. I pull my hands away from my stomach and try not to cower until Jamie's painful stare as I answer.

"Last week."

The question did come out of nowhere, but I know he's only trying to rule things out.

"But I'm happy to do any kind of tests?" I add, meaning blood tests, because I knew I categorically wasn't pregnant. Today was the first time I'd had sex in nearly eighteen months. Jamie may have been amazing, but he's not that amazing.

The doctor nods and he explains he'd like to do a couple of blood tests, which makes me wish I hadn't said yes now. He gives a few instructions to the nurse next to him, who disappears, before he makes a few notes and disappears himself.

I can still taste vomit in my mouth, and I really want to get up to get a glass of water, but as I turn my head I can see the cogs in Jamie's head turning furiously as he looks anywhere but at me.

I take his hand and he flinches, as if I'd pulled him out of a trance.

"It's never easy to hear that," I joke with a smile. Well, I try to joke. My heart is still racing too and it comes out laced with panic. "I just hope these tests don't take too long." I decide not to say anything else. Now wasn't the time to discuss that conversation.

He nods and now I see he's trying to keep his eyes away from the full sick pan still in my lap. I move it off to the side, knowing I won't be sick, and stretch across the bed to get a glass of water. I swill my mouth twice before finally swallowing, grimacing as the acidic taste goes down my throat.

"You don't have to stay," I tell him and he shakes his head.

"I'm not going anywhere."

He leans forward and goes to kiss my mouth before I flinch away. He suddenly remembers and chuckles before kissing my forehead instead.

"Did you want me to call your dad?" he asks.

I shake my head quickly. "Not yet." I didn't want to worry him over something probably minor, like my blood sugar being low.

He nods in agreement before he comes and sits next to me, taking my hand in his and holding it gently.

His hand is very warm and comforting in mine, but when he starts rubbing soothing, concentric circles into my skin, I pull my hand away abruptly, shocked at the startling similarity to what Archie used to do.

Jamie just frowns at me, probably confused, but probably also thinking it must have hurt. However I just take his hand and hold it, putting my head on his shoulder.

"Has it happened before?" he asks softly when it's been quiet between us for a few minutes.

I shake my head against his shoulder. "No." I lift my head slightly and he turns his. "I didn't have any warning, it just suddenly came over me."

I sigh as he does.

"I feel fine now..."

"Aside from the throwing up," he adds with a chuckle.

I smile up at him. "Aside from that."

He kisses my forehead. "Well, you're staying with me, okay, if you're allowed out of here, that is. With Nelly away now, I don't want you to be on your own." He kisses my forehead again, holding his lips there slightly longer this time. "I don't want you being sick in the night and have no one to look after you."

If Nelly had been there she would be here now, seeing as she's studying nursing. She would fuss around me but wouldn't check up on me every five minutes like I knew Greg and Ryan would. But I nod as I look up into his bright blue eyes. He's scared, I can see the fear in his eyes, but I love the fact he's trying to be strong for me.

He kisses my forehead again just as the curtain is pulled back. It's the doctor, followed by a nurse carrying a blue tray full of blood test containers.

She puts it down on the small table in front of me and I balk backwards into the pillows as I spot the needle on the tray. I try to even my breathing as the terror races through me, but the doctor notices.

"Just try to think of something else," he says. "And close your eyes," he tells me as he wraps the tourniquet around my arm.

"Small, sharp scratch," he assures me.

I nod at him as I close my eyes but I'm not convinced. I don't know where I got my fear of needles from, because I've only had my normal jabs at school. But here I have no other choice. And from the number of test tubes, I'll be here for a while.

"Hey, just squeeze my hand, okay," Jamie whispers, shuffling closer. "If you need to open your eyes, just look at me."

I nod as the tourniquet is tightened and I squeal as I feel the needle touch me. But before I can scream, Jamie turns my head for him to kiss me soundly.

I try to pull away, because my mouth still tastes like sick, but he keeps a hold of my cheek, holding my lips to his until I feel the tourniquet being loosened on my arm. Even then, Jamie only lets the kiss finish when the doctor says 'all done'.

"That's one way to distract her," the doctor chuckles.

Jamie leans up and grins as my cheeks pink. "It was that or knock her out," he jokes and I raise my eyebrows as he laughs, probably at my reaction.

After we've both calmed down from laughing, the doctor tells us he'll let us know when he has the results. He leaves for about five minutes before he comes back, telling us he'll actually get the results in the morning.

"So you'll be here overnight," he finishes.

I sink down slightly, sad that I can't sleep in my own bed.

"Do you want me to ask if the nurses can set up a cot?" he asks but Jamie and I both shake our heads.

He smiles as Jamie pulls me closer and nods before closing the curtain, wishing us a good night.

Before we settle, I loosen his tie and help him pull off his jacket. He then leans back and pulls me into him, tucking me into his side.

"You comfy?" he asks after a few minutes.

He's completely wrapped around me, his legs are laced between mine, his toes wiggling the blankets.

"Definitely," I say, my voice getting slower as sleep starts to shroud over me.

He kisses my forehead once more before we sit quietly. With my eyes closed, I try to focus on Jamie's steady breathing, the slow up and down of his chest, but after a few minutes my mind is focussing too much on the beeping around me to feel anywhere near as calm as I wanted to.

I huff once and I feel Jamie move under me.

"I just texted my parents," he says, leaning up slightly to slide his phone back into his jacket. "We can have dinner with them next term," he says, reading my mind before he hugs me close to him again.

I nod but don't say anything.

"And if you still want to go home tomorrow, I'll drive you."

I sit up after he says that. "Jamie, that's a really long way." It's an eight-hour drive to London from here, and he had to make the return journey too... and then some up to his parents' house.

I feel him shrug underneath me and as I look up at him again, he's smiling. "I don't mind. It's a long way for you... and you're not feeling well."

"Jamie, I was going to fly," I tell him, shaking my head as I yawn. "As much as I'd love the company, it's literally eight hours out of your way home," I say, smiling through another yawn as the mixture between Jamie's warmth and the adrenaline wearing off starts to knock me out.

He shrugs again but doesn't say anything as his stomach growls beneath me, making me giggle.

"You must be starving. Have you eaten?" I ask softly.

He shakes his head but taps my nose softly as my eyes close in a very long blink. "I'm okay for now. Sleep if you want, Pup," he coos, kissing my nose lightly before doing the same to my forehead.

"Pup?" I say with a smile, not opening my eyes. I don't know if he'd meant to say it, but I liked that first nickname we'd had between us.

As I open my eyes though, his cheeks are pink and he looks embarrassed.

"Sorry... it just slipped out," he laughs, before kissing my head again.

He chuckles once more before my eyes droop, followed by my body relaxing.

"Sweet dreams," he whispers, and the darkness takes me.

***

I WAKE IN THE middle of the night, and the hospital is all incredibly quiet.

I look up at Jamie and he's out cold, his neck pushed up awkwardly against the pillow as he curls himself around me. His shirt is all crumpled, but his arm is still tightly around me, just like the way he always holds me when we fall asleep.

He looks peaceful as he sleeps, which is the complete opposite of how mine had been.

My dreams had been plagued by Archie. I can't get him out of my head, no matter how hard I try, but at the same time... I find myself not wanting to.

I'm haunted by that final scream. His calling of my name through the air... it makes me shudder. He sounded so pained and desperate... so lost. Even despite what he did, I couldn't sleep knowing he wasn't okay.

Trying not to jostle Jamie, I grab my phone off the side and find my messages to Millie.

I know it's stupid to say anything, because even Millie will think I'm crazy, but I would hate myself if I knew I could do something to help and then didn't. He may not deserve what I'm about to do, but I couldn't help it. And somehow I think I knew he would do the same if he were in my position.

Taking a deep breath, I type the message and hit send before my brain can think about it any longer.

This is going to sound really strange... but is Archie alright? xx

She doesn't answer back straight away so I put my phone back on the table and wait, counting the ceiling tiles. After what feels like millions of tiles had been counted, my phone finally vibrates against the table.

Erm.. I don't know? Is everything okay?

I'm not surprised she's confused. I would be.

I take a deep breath and look at Jamie. I should be telling him this as well, but I need to get my own head around this first. I don't know what has happened, I just know something has happened, and even if it is nothing, I would hate myself if I didn't ask.

Besides, Millie was the person to tell. He is her brother after all.

Everything's fine, I just got this weird feeling...

It sounded so stupid when I put it like that, but I didn't know how else to say it.

I fainted... and I know this is going to sound so weird, but I heard him calling out. Like he was hurt..

Mils, I need you to check he's okay. Please?

I'm not sure how she'll respond, but somehow I know she'll believe me.

Her next message doesn't come through for another hour, but I cup my mouth as a gasp escapes as I read it.

He's in hospital... Broken hand, stomach pumped because he's drunk so much. Tess, how did  you know?

I sigh as I text her back.

I just had a feeling. I'll explain properly when I see you...

Is he okay?

The dots dance for a while before she responds. But all I get back is a short sentence. And it's enough to form a lump in my throat and bring tears to my eyes.

Tess, I don't think he'll ever be okay