TO MAKE SURE SHE was okay, I rang the GP. After a night of getting up and down to the toilet, she was exhausted, and the exhaustion can't have been good for her, let alone the baby.

Although he doesn't usually make house calls, he made an exception when I explained she was so exhausted she couldn't even get out of bed. When he did come, he reassured us both that she was okay, and that the baby was okay, and that it was most likely just a nasty cold from being out in the. He prescribed rest, and for once, Tessa actually listened.

She slept. She really slept. She was asleep on and off for four days.

Millie and I took turns in keeping her company. I've heard Millie in there, recounting every single detail of her US trip. Whenever I was passing, I listened at the door as she tells about the Empire State Building, the Colombia campus, the theme parks, the California desert, Yosemite, Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon. She talks and talks, allowing Tessa just to rest and listen, and slowly but surely, she starts to get her strength back. When it was my turn, I just slid into bed next to her and we just slept, Tessa exhausted by Millie's captivating stories and me just the warm radiator she needed. She snuggled close, snoring softly, and the two of us would just drift.

With Millie's bakery almost near completion now, our eyes are now turning to more of the big house things. This unfortunately means making decisions, and I still have no idea what I wanted.

"Arch, you can't just paint it one colour," Millie complains, gesturing wildly towards the area of unpainted wall going up the stairs. "It needs to be a forest, or a landscape... just not... yellow." I'd suggested that once and she jumped down my throat. "Anything but yellow."

"Murals have to be thought out and drawn. I haven't done that in-"

I stop when footsteps echo down the stairs just as Tessa comes into view.

"I hope our arguing didn't wake you," I say as she pauses briefly to look up the stairs.

She shakes her head with a smile when she looks at me.

"Not at all. Today's the first day I actually feel like i have strength." She looks back at the walls. "You guys can't decide what to do, huh?"

She has that look in her eye, and I have a feeling a few ideas might be brewing in that beautiful head of hers.

"Archie wants yellow," Millie blurts and I groan.

"I do not want yellow," I tell her again, firmly.

"Well, why did you say it then?"

Tessa laughs, a beautiful chime laugh, and it sounds like music. "Can I help at all? Before it comes to blows."

I put up a finger. "For the record, I did not suggest yellow." She grins and pushes me before I continue as she settles on my lap. "But how's your painting arm these days?" I ask her.

Her expression falters slightly but she's still smiling. "I haven't drawn for a while to be honest." She frowns. "Not since Art A-Level."

The thought saddens me, as she was always so good at it at school. She sees my expression and her smile lessens too.

"Well, let's get you drawing again then, shall we?" I lift my smile back up to my cheeks and Tessa's grows too. "You're okay if we head upstairs?" I ask Millie.

"Yeah 'course," she says, giving me a knowing smile and we head upstairs. "I'm experimenting so you may not want to be around for that."

Tessa and I both laugh as she leaves the room, but I kiss her cheek quickly before we head upstairs. I bring her into the guest room first, where Millie and I have no idea where to begin.

The wall has the big bay window, and is looking out into the surrounding woods and feels. Millie, not having the most artistic eye, wanted it to be a wall of flowers, or a sun-soaked visage of a rolling Italian hillside. I didn't know what I wanted to have painted there, but it wasn't either of those things. Somehow it didn't fit with what you could see out the window.

"It's such a shame this is all wall," Tessa says, and I note that she's looking out of the window.

"I know, that view is amazing." I sigh and stand next to her. "It's probably my favourite view."

The view is over the western fields. At the moment, the fields were a bit wild, the grass reaching over a metre high, waiting for a person who knew what they were doing to take care of them. After all the rain, the sun is finally beaming, and as it shines through the window, it's catching all the gold and amber flecks in Tessa's hair. I don't think she's ever been more beautiful.

"Why don't you just paint the view?" She suggests, still looking out. "Like a continuation of the window?"

I hadn't really thought of that, but as I step back, sizing it up with my hands, I can finally see it. The golden aura of a sunrise, or maybe even the fierce russet orange of a brilliant sunset. I see the green, flat fields sown with grass, with the birch wood behind them, their white and black trunks glinting with the early morning dew.

"Did I say something wrong?"

I focus back and she's looking directly at me, worried.

I quickly shake my head. "No. No definitely not. Tess, you've hit the nail on the head."

"I did?" Her smile widens.

I nod as I walk over to her. "It never occurred to me the answer was literally right in front of my eyes."

She smiles as she looks out of the window, but she has no idea that I mean her. Even standing in bare feet, wearing an oversized hoodie and hair that hasn't been washed for probably-four days, she is so beautiful. I had bought the place nearly a year ago, and it has never felt like home. Not until now. It's home because she's here now, with me, and I meant what I said a couple of days ago. I want her to stay.

"You look so beautiful you know," I tell her softly, circling my arms around her.

She stiffens briefly before she pulls them tighter. Sighing, she entwines our fingers together before she moving them over her stomach, placing her other hand on top of mine. Now at eleven weeks, you can feel the start of a bump, and I smile as she sighs again. It sounds content. Happy.

"Archie?"

"Hmm?"

She doesn't say anything for a few more minutes, but I stay quiet. Whatever she wants, I'll agree to. If she wants me to raise the baby with her like it was my own, I would. If she wanted me to drop down on one knee right now and propose, I would.

"Why does this feel so right?" She's almost talking to herself, the words are so quiet. "Why couldn't it have all been more simple?"

She's beginning to question herself again, questioning her decision to go through with having this baby. Millie told me yesterday that she had mentioned she may not have it, or thinking about adoption. Having the baby or not was her decision, and adoption is a wonderful thing, but I didn't want her to make the wrong choice on a whim, and subsequently regret it. But no matter the what she said to Millie, way she's acting, already protecting little nugget with everything she has, she's made the decision in her heart.

"Life is never simple, Tess," I tell her. "If it were simple, it would be boring." I chuckle softly and she laughs with me, turning around in my arms.

I put them around her back, clasping them behind her as she joins hers behind my neck. She's always been small, but dressed in an oversize hoodie, she somehow looks even smaller.

"Tessa, you know I'm here for you," I whisper. "However you need me," I add. "I'm here."

She leans up and smiles, her lips closer to mine. "I know."

She moves her hands down from my neck slowly, resting them on my chest. She sighs contentedly as I lean my head down to rest my lips against her forehead.

"Will you... join me?" She asks slowly.

I'm thinking she means the shower as we have somehow drifted into the doorway of the bathroom, and I know full well what she's asking. My head knows that I shouldn't, that I should say no, and give her the space she needs. She's pregnant, and she's scared, and she's probably confused about what she's feeling, and may come to regret anything we do. But then my heart wants this so much it could burst, and I knew my heart would be able to talk my head into doing anything Tessa wanted.

When she looks up, I'm a goner. Her beautiful emerald eyes are staring up at me, sparkling and glistening with hope. They're filled with the hope I never thought I'd see again when she turned up on my doorstep four days ago. As she continues to gaze at me, I see promise, I know that, because I hoped my eyes were saying the same. They're promising to love her, no matter what, until the end of time. They were saying the things my mouth currently couldn't.

"Will you..." she smiles as she smooths a warm thumb over my cheek, her eyes now on my lips. "Will you kiss me?"

I hesitate for only a second before I kiss her softly. She gasps at the contact, but she reacts to me the way she always has. She pulls herself closer, kissing me harder, threading her hands into my hair.

God, I've missed her touch. I've missed how she creates goosebumps wherever she touches me. I've missed how our bodies react to one another the way that no person could ever understand.

Andy once said to me that we always moved together. 'You move, she moves' he said to me once, and he's right. I would move and live a thousand lives for her, if it meant that the smile I love so much would dance across her face every day. It's a smile that has continued to light the darkness in front of me years, and I hoped it would continue for many to come.

She takes my hand and pushes me slowly back, into the shower behind us. She kisses me again, her hands slipping lower onto my shirt as she undoes each of my buttons. She leaves the shirt hanging open as I pull the hoodie up over her head, kissing her again, almost desperately, as she pushes my shirt off my shoulders. Her hands are burning tracks into my skin as she does so and she sighs as I lean down to kiss the side of her neck.

She leans it to the side, offering me more skin to lay my lips on, but I suddenly jerk forward as the water comes on freezing cold.

"Christ," I laugh, protectively holding her away from the water as it heats, flinching as the water splashes onto my shoulders.

"Sorry, I should have warned you there," she smirks, grinning widely and mischievously.

"It isn't the first time you've done it," I chuckle, kissing her neck again. "Nor the last I dare say," I add, licking the same spot.

As the water heats, I step backwards. The water pushes my hair down over my eyes, and I shake it out, spraying her as I do so. She laughs and squeals, her first proper, high-pitched infectious giggle, and I can't help but laugh with her as she pulls herself under the water too. She tilts her head up, into the stream, and when she looks at me again, all that fear from the last few days is gone. She's now full of determination and strength, plain as day. There is a fire behind those eyes again, a roaring fire, and as I kiss her, pulling her gently up into my arms, I nearly combust.

"Are you... sure?" I ask, kissing her once more, my words almost swallowed by the sound of the water.

Her green eyes bore into mine, and they say everything. She's sure. Same as me, she has never been more sure of anything in her life.

I kiss her. I kiss her like my life depends on it. I take off the hoodie and undo her shirt as she works to get my trousers and boxers off, the jets of water making this slightly more sloppy. I kneel to get her button and hold her steady as she steps out of her soggy jeans. When she's stable again, holding the wall for support as I kiss the inside of her leg, I make my way back to the apex of her thigh. She's breathing heavily, even over the water, so I'm worried that something would happen to either her or the baby. I'm about to stand up, to ask if she's okay, but she locks her arms and keeps me down. Her fingers tangle into my wet hair as she pushes me towards my goal, and as I make contact, she moans so loudly I swear Millie has probably heard her. I keep going, encouraged by her hands tugging harder and harder on my hair before her legs start to shake. I stop, standing, holding her steady as I kiss her lips, running my tongue along hers as she pulls herself up into my arms.

"Tess," I mumble into her mouth.

"Hmm?" She kisses me once more before looking at me, looking slightly dazed.

"We're going to have to make a dash... for my room."

We're in the guest room, which currently has no bed, and our clothes are sopping wet on the floor of the shower.

"My room's across the hall... so not far to go."

She looks at the floor, and I know what she's thinking. I've already weighed the odds. We could stay here, but I'm not risking her slipping and then something happening to the baby.

"Dash for it," she says, giggling as I put her down.

She bends down to pick up her clothes, wringing them out before she quickly trots out of the bathroom and across the hallway to my room. I do the same, picking up two towels on the way, locking the door behind me. As I turn, I drop my clothes, recapturing Tessa's lips as I pick her up and carry her over to the bed. I pull back the covers as I sit down, her straddling my lap. She moans and bites her lip as she rubs up against me, and I can't help but join her as she puts a hand between us.

With a soft movement, she guides me to press into her. She moans loudly, pressing her head back into the pillow, my mouth now against her throat, and as pull back and look at her, her eyes are frenzied with passion, her pupils completely blown out.

"Oh my god," she whispers, and I start to move gently, holding her steady as we grind in perfect sync.

After a few moments, we move positions. Not wanting to risk crushing her, I move her on top, holding her hips steady. We move together, her hands on my shoulders, the only sound from our breathing before she starts to build again, collapsing onto my chest as she finishes, pulling me over the edge with her. She flinches as I move, every movement causing our sensitive skin to zing, the burning touch still evident as she breathes heavily.

"You okay?" I ask breathlessly, tucking her fringe behind her ear before leaning over to kiss her.

She makes a noise that sounds like a sigh, but as I look at her, I realise she might actually be asleep.

"That good, huh?" I laugh.

A seductive chuckle rumbles through her, shaking the bed, so she isn't sleep, but she isn't far away. Her eyes are adorably droopy.

"That felt so... different," she mumbles, her voice husky with sleep. "Good different," she adds as she rolls gently off me, causing me to shiver.

"They always say it's different when you're pregnant...?" I suggest. I was certain it was that. "I'd like to say it was me," I joke, "but I don't think I'm that good in bed."

She giggles. "Whatever it was, we are doing that again." She emphasises that in the same way. She smiles as her head moves on my chest, puts an arm across my stomach, holding me tightly. "But now... I... slee...p." The sentence is drawn out as her body relaxes, and as a soft snore comes from next to me, I smile.

"Sleep baby," I tell her softly, pulling her close as I put my arm around her. "Sleep," I say again, closing my eyes, joining her in slumber.

***

THE NEXT DAY, I wake up to find the bed next to me is empty.

I look around, the clock on my bedside table telling me it is nearly four in the morning, and I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear a tap running in the bathroom next door. Getting up, I pull on my boxers and tracksuit bottoms, yawning as I come and join her.

She's dressed in my shirt, and she's sitting on the loo brushing her teeth.

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

I shake my head, kissing her head before kneeling in front of her. I put a hand on her leg and feel that she's cold, her skin tracking goosebumps.

"I don't like going to bed without brushing my teeth," she says with a smile. "Got woken up by my own bad breath," she adds, laughing.

"I mean, your morning breath was legendarily awful," I add, wafting my hand past my nose.

I feel the swat on my shoulder just as I predicted it would come with teasing her. She smiles at me, stroking a soft finger over the scar under my eye, as well as finding the ones that started this whole situation in the first place. Wordlessly, I kneel up and lift her into my lap, both of us sitting on the loo.

"Are you okay?" I ask. "With what just happened, I mean."

I didn't mean to just come out and ask her, but she looks straight at me as she answers. "Archie I am so much more than okay," she strokes my cheek and kisses it, before kissing my lips tenderly. "I'm just... I'm not sure how good sex is for..." She doesn't finish, but looks down at her belly.

"For the baby." I finish the sentence for her and she nods.

While she had been out of it, Millie and I had been reading up, wanting to make sure we had what we needed to look after her. I remember seeing in a book somewhere that sex was okay... but then each person and pregnancy is different. Maybe it would be a good idea if we got her checked out properly.

"We can go to the hospital tomorrow?" I suggest. "I can take you?"

She nods. "Yeah, maybe. I'll text Charlotte and see if I can get in with the same nurse again." Her shoulders drop in a kind of relief. "Mandy was so calm and reassuring."

I knew in her mind she must be thinking of a million different things. She's thinking of herself and what is happening with her and Jamie, as well as what happened last night with us. She's wondering what her dad will think of it all, her friends, her mum and Mark. She's trying to think what her best course of action is in terms of the future, now that it has been thrown into a disarray. But the one thing I know for sure, is that the baby is the forefront and centre in her mind.

"You're amazing, Tess," I say, as I see a shadow of doubt cross her face.

She shakes her head. "I'm n-"

Before she can say that she isn't, I kiss her. I kiss her beautifully soft lips, trying to tell her how amazing she truly is. She doesn't kiss back to start with, but slowly, she moves. Her hand wraps around my neck and her fingers move into my hair, scratching over my scalp. The kiss isn't one for the ages, it isn't full of passion like it was earlier, it's just full of love.

Although I can't admit it, at least not yet, I love her. I love her more than I could ever describe, not to anyone other than her. I have always loved her, whether she's loved me back or not, and I will always love her.

"You are amazing," I say, my voice barely a whisper as I pull away. Her small smile tells me she's heard me, but whether or not she believes me, I'll never know.

She doesn't say anything back. Instead, she stands, pulling me up. She pulls me into bed, and wraps my arms around her as she shuffles back into my chest. Just as we did a few hours ago, we fall asleep wrapped around each other... the way I want to fall asleep for the rest of my life.