THE ANSWER HITS ME like a ton of bricks, and as the breath comes back to me, I know I've made a terrible mistake.

I've made a mistake because I now have the entire evening to endure without him.

I want to call him, to tell him to come now and to be here with me, but I've left my phone at Charlotte's house. I know exactly where it is, it's in my bag on the bed, right where I left it, and I bet you he's calling and calling, wanting to apologise when it should be me who apologises.

He must be tearing his hair out right about now, and I can't believe I've been so stupid.

Jamie was right, and I've been so blind. I'd been chasing this dream, this figment of a dream, and just when I heard what I thought my heart wanted, it's now telling me what's true.

It's him.

"Sweetie?" My head snaps up as Mum's voice pierces my spiralling thoughts. "You okay?"

I shake myself out of it, wiping a shaky hand over my forehead as I take a deep breath and recover my wits. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a moment."

I can tell by her expression that she doesn't believe me, but I don't know what else to do. She saw me come over here with Archie, saw how both he and I had reacted, so maybe through her mother's intuition, she knows what's happened?

"Sweetie, they're calling us all into dinner."

Looking properly, the crowd was now moving into the main hall, so I nod. "I'll be there in a minute."

I really did need a minute; I was freaking out.

"Okay sweetie." She walks away but then turns back around. "I, erm..." she starts, looking through her bag for something. "I hope you don't mind, but I grabbed this before we left."

I frown, wondering what she's talking about, but then she hands me my phone.

I gasp as she places it in my hand. Too shocked to say anything more, she gives me a knowing smile before she takes my hand, pulling me towards the dining hall where everyone has started to find their places. Trying not to meet Archie's gaze as I head to the top table, I take a seat between Dylan and Millie, smiling, pushing both Jamie and Archie out of my mind for the moment.

***

ONLY THE LOVE CHARLOTTE and Danny share for each other can distract me from my thoughts. Watching them, they're in their own little world, and it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

However, it's only making me want to break my resolve just that little bit more.

I manage to hold out until they're serving the desserts, which gives me at least forty-five minutes of calm, but when I excuse myself to the bathroom, my heart sinks.

I have nearly thirty missed calls, with the number of texts now all coming through as he sends through a long string of apologies. I can see he really does feel horrible about how it all went down yesterday, and me taking that decision away from him has clearly been a massive blow, because he has been looking forward to it so much. It's been a long time coming.

Danny is his friend too, they've become buddies due to the amount of time I've been spending with Charlotte, and he wants to celebrate with him. I feel awful for taking that away from him, and even if he can't blame me for why he did it, he certainly won't be very happy with me.

As I come out of the bathroom, I turn the corner, and as soon as I step out into the main room, my eyes lock with Archie's.

After what he said to me earlier, I've been avoiding him, to try and keep my own thoughts clear. But now, I have to think about what he said, and I have to give him my answer. It's only fair to him.

He holds my gaze for a second and I give him a slight nod. He makes his way towards me, and I can't help but think he's purposefully been giving me space since he told me how he felt. I mean, given we had been placed at opposite ends of the table, maybe it wasn't purposeful, but this distance has only helped know my decision.

The air around is different when he finally reaches me. It's awkward, and for the first time I feel unsteady around him. My thoughts had always been so sure and strong when it came to Archie, but now I can't stop my legs from shaking as I try to think of something to say.

"This could be you soon, huh?"

Could?

"Will," he corrects himself.

My heart sinks again, realising it meant he'd seen Millie's invitation, and seen how soon Jamie and I were getting married.

I knew Archie was never going to be invited. It's our day, and as much as I wanted my friend there, it would be too hard, for all of us.

"Yep. It's going to come around quickly."

I didn't want to look at him. I can hear how sad he is, and  I didn't want to see the sadness in his bright eyes.

Instead, the two of us just look at the dance floor. At Danny and Charlotte turning in slow circles, caught up in their own little world. Mr Brightside is playing, and yet they're still swaying as slow as their first dance. They looked so cute no one had wanted to disturb them.

Archie sighs, but doesn't turn to look at me.

"I realise my timing isn't... great?" He starts and I see him look down awkwardly at his shoes. "But you are... happy? You're happy, right?"

I turn my head to look at him and I can see his eyes are brimming with tears.

"Arch..."

Taking his hand, I pull him towards the cloakroom, where we could have the conversation in private, not having to worry about people hearing, or worse, gossiping.

As I shut the door, he wanders further in, and as he turns and lifts his hand, I know he's pinching the bridge of his nose. It's what he always does when he's trying to work out his emotions, and it seems things haven't changed.

I hate this. No matter what decision I came to now, I was hurting someone.

Saying yes to Jamie, starting on my new life with him, I'm hurting Archie. Then, by even talking to Archie, I'm hurting Jamie.

I knew the two of them would meet eventually, and of course it would have been easier if they could at least stand each other. But I'm not surprised they don't... It would be too much to ask of either of them.

But there is no choice between them. It's Jamie, and it has been ever since Archie walked out of my life, and despite it hurting him, he would have to live with that decision. He was the one who left.

On the plane last month, I'm glad he hadn't answered me. I didn't know what I was saying, and he said it himself, I wasn't in the right frame of mind. He must have known that, in that state, one word from him would have seen me give up what I'd spent years building up, my new life with this amazing person who had put me back together, piece by piece.

"You never answered me," he says, his voice as soft as a whisper.

I frown and look up at him again. "What?"

He steps towards me and takes my hands in his.

"You never said if you were happy." He kisses the heels of my hands. "Can you just promise me that you are? That's all I want."

I couldn't lie to him, and as much as the truth would hurt him to say, I had to be honest.

"I am Archie." I smile widely. "He makes me so happy."

The last few months have been better. More than better.

Despite being back at Dad's, to help on his road to recovery, Jamie is there most of the time. He told Barclays that he needed to work from home more, to help with bits for me and to be around for Dad now that I was going out for more interviews, and they completely understood, even offering him some special leave to help out. It was more than both Jamie and I were expecting, but it's been so amazing.

This time had also allowed us a few weekends away, one of which was back up to the Achnagairn estate Jamie had taken me to after uni. We loved it so much when we went before, so when we enquired, we just decided we both no longer wanted to wait. 

"Arch, you know you'll find someone," I tell him.

He scoffs as he looks behind me, shaking his head. "How?" The word is barely audible.

"You will," I smile. "You'll find someone amazing." I say it without hesitation, because he's too amazing himself to not. "You'll find someone who brings out that amazing smile, someone who makes you happy, I promise."

He sighs again. "Tess, how can I? How can I when I let an amazing girl slip through my fingers all those years ago?"

I'd wanted to hear those words for months, for years, and yet now I was hearing them, I didn't know what to say.

"You will," I say again. "You will find that someone, I know you will."

"You don't understand. She's standing right in front of me."

He turns and puts his hands on my hips. I gasp at how hot they feel through the thin fabric of my dress, but I don't ask him to move them.

"She's standing here in front of me, looking more stunning than I've ever seen her. Her green eyes are sparkling brighter than a clear sea." I smile automatically as he says it. "And a smile brighter than a million suns."

My mouth bobs open and closed, not wanting to hear any more, but not knowing how to tell him to stop.

"I've been looking at her and watching her all day, regretting ever walking out of that goddamn door."

It's the first time he's admitted out loud that he had made a mistake. I knew he must have been sure of his decision when he left, because I knew him, and I knew he would never make the decision lightly.

"But I know you're happy. I can see it." He smiles as he steps towards me, wrapping me in a hug. "It's the only way I would let you go, Tess, knowing you're loved as much as you deserve."

I smile as he squeezes me harder.

"I am happy, Arch."

When he leans back, he strokes my cheek gently with his thumb before he drops a quick kiss on my forehead. When he looks at me properly, his eyes are full of acceptance, and I sigh in relief as my resolve wins out.

I hug him again before he steps away from me, towards the door. "We'd better get back out there before people start talking," he jokes. "And something tells me you have a call to make?"

His eyes burn into me once more, and for the first time in my entire life, they don't have to the same effect. Instead of leaning up to meet his lips, Jamie's face comes stronger in my mind.

Without another word between us, moves silently out of the room, the only evidence of him leaving is the click of the door as it closes again.

I let out the breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding, and as I do, a sob escapes me. It's a sob of relief, as my shoulders suddenly feel lighter than they'd felt in a long time. Lighter than ever. Having finally accepted the answer in my heart, as well as accepting it out loud, I can finally start the process of being happy. I can be happy without feeling guilty for being so. I can be happy with the man who had been putting me back together, piece by piece.

His name plays on my lips as my fingers fumble to unlock my phone. I need him to answer, just like I need his arms around me... today and for the rest of my days.

Putting the phone to my ear, I pace backwards and forwards. "Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up!"

It rings twice more before I give up, hanging up the phones, resigned to the fact I've made him angry enough he's now ignoring me. But as tears come to my eyes at the thought, my phone buzzes in my hand.

"Jamie!" I whisper before answering.

I hit the accept button and both of us say, "I am so sorry" at the same time.

"Tess, no , oh my God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've been awful, and I should never have hit him, or made it so hard for you. I should never have acted the way I have." He sighs, his voice now sounding like he's been crying. "Tess, baby, what," he sniffs. "What can I do?" He finishes. "What can I do for you to forgive me?"

I didn't want to hear how sorry he was, I just wanted his arms around me. I wanted to slow dance with him for hours, lost in our love. I wanted to kiss him, laugh with him, and introduce him to people who didn't know him. I wanted him here. I wanted him here with me.

"How fast can you get here?" I ask, and I hear a cough of a gasp.

"You want... Tess, is this a joke?" He asks.

"No, not a joke," I tell him quickly. "How fast can you get here?" I ask again.

"Erm..." He hesitates, clearly confused by my sudden change of heart.

"Jamie, can you just come?" I tell him.

"Are you... Tess, are you okay? Has something happened?"

"Yes." Yes something has happened. I've realised I'm an idiot, that's what the matter is. "Yes, something's happened," I say, keeping my voice as flat and matter-of-fact as possible.

"What?" He asks, sounding almost frantic. "What's happened Tess?"

I sigh, wiping my tears away from my cheeks.

"I just realised I'm missing out on seeing my handsome fiancé in a suit, and I love you, especially when you're in a suit. I love you and I miss you and I've been wanting to show you off at this wedding for months because I love you and now I won't be able to."

He chuckles. "Show me off, huh?"

"Yes." I sigh as a large ball of tension pops in my chest at the sound of his laughter. "Now, can you come? I need you. I miss you."

"Tess, I'll be there as soon as I can okay. I love you, and I'm so sorry."

What's strange then is that I hear the car door slamming, and him walking, rather than the other way around. As he continues to walk, keeping me on the phone, I hear Hallelujah playing in the background of the call. Pulling my phone away from my ear for a moment, Hallelujah is playing.

"You've been here this whole time?" I ask, tears welling over onto my cheeks.

"I was willing to wait all night if I had to. I wanted to be there somehow today... I didn't know how else to be there, especially after what I did."

"Jamie, do you have any idea how much I love you right now?" I ask, wiping my eyes and exiting the cloak room.

"It can't be as much as I love you."

After he says it, I spot him and I give him the biggest, brightest smile.

He hasn't got his tie on, but he's in my favourite suit, the blue one that he wore when he proposed to me. He looks so handsome in it. His head flicks from side to side as he searches the room for me, hanging up the phone when he does.

His blue eyes lock on mine, and its as if the whole room of people disappear when they do. I walk a few steps to meet him, throwing my arms around his neck as his wrap tightly around my back, squeezing me.

"Not possible," I tell him, answering his question before putting my lips to his in a gentle kiss.

"I'm sorry for stopping you from coming."

He shakes his head and strokes his thumb over my cheek, laughing as his eyes light up.

"I'm just glad I'm here now," he says, smiling my favourite smile.

He kisses me. He kisses me with so much love, if he hadn't been holding me, I would have swooned. His tongue is dancing with mine as he really kisses me, a ball of desire growing in my belly. When he stops, we're both breathless. He kisses my nose and I can see that desire in his eyes same as mine.

"Before I share you with everyone else again," he whispers, "is there somewhere we could go?"

His eyebrows raise as well as mine. My skin is suddenly entirely alight with sensation and, with his hands on my hips, his fingers pinching into me as he grips me, I suddenly lose the ability to speak.

"Our room's up there?" I suggest breathlessly before kissing him.

His eyes darken in the most delicious way as his eyes flit towards the stairs. "Lead the way."