Even though Esmond told Sansa that no healing was required for her to stay, she soon realized that without anything to do, her mind went silently crazy.

Upon the second day of her arrival, she sought out the clinic- or any form of healing services that were provided in the pack. Only to find out that there were none.

"Why wouldn't you invest in a healer?" Sansa felt disbelief as she faced a guilty-looking Esmond.

"Should I remind you again that this is my father's pack and not mine? I think a healer is a good idea, but that isn't my choice to make yet."

Sansa shook her head in bewilderment. "So what do you do when someone is injured?"

Esmond's face turned to stone as a fire seemed to erupted silently in his eyes. The sudden change in his demeanor caught Sansa off guard as she stared at him.

"He throws them away," Esmond spat the words out.

Sansa stayed silent. In her travels, she had seen this. The reality of what packs could do to their own members was something she was able to witness. It was like a rotting wound, covered with a bandage. Nothing there to soothe it, nothing applied. Only the clothe to rub and let the cut become even more irritated for the future.

"He doesn't...to that one place...?"

"The broken? Yes. Where else do you send a useless wolf." Esmond sighed, something close to shame and embarrassment leaking from his voice as he looked away from Sansa.

She felt a sudden pity- a connection to Esmond for the first time. She knew what it was like to hold a kind heart but belong to a cruel lifestyle.

"I hate that place," Sansa whispered. She knew Esmond would know what place she was referring to. She had never heard of it until she encountered a pack where there was a patient she could not save. The Alpha had pushed her aside, his eyes glowing down at his former pack member in distaste before his orders came clear to his Beta of taking the male away- far away- to a spot in the world where other broken souls were tossed aside.

Sansa had never realized there was an actual place where the fallen could descend, but it was true. And she was witnessing it firsthand as she took in Esmond's pained eyes.

"I'm here now though."

A bitter laugh left Esmond. "I feel that your words may not be relevant when my father comes back. He won't approve of me letting you in...if your still here..." he gazed at her curiously before looking away.

Sansa stared at him a second longer before sighing.

"Is there anyone who needs healing?"

Esmond rose then, "there's always someone who needs healing. If you're willing?"
She followed him out the door, looking back and smiling at the cabin that she had been allowed to stay in.

It was old and abandoned. That much was clear last night when Esmond had first shown it to her. But after cleaning and fixing what little she could, Sansa started to realize that it was a comfortable living space. Beautifully set next to a small pond, the peace of it made her sigh at how remote and cast off it was from the main pack.

She could envision planting a garden there, one filled with herbs and various flowers. Flowers that wouldn't have any purpose in life other than to stand and be beautiful- to do nothing more but raise their heads to the sun.

Esmond was right. There seemed to always be someone in need of healing.

They went door to door. Sansa was amazed that he seemed to know just who out of the pack needed her. But he didn't answer her when she asked. It occurred to Sansa then for the first time, that she was an outsider. For some reason, she had felt accepted and invited with Esmond. But his reluctance to answer some of her questions of the inner workings of the pack had her remembering that she was not one of them.

And that icy feeling came back to her.

A sense of not belonging anywhere. Of drifting and never being able to find the shore.

Sansa and Esmond walked back in silence after the long day of healing.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly.

Sansa looked up to see a pained expression upon his face.

"I didn't mean to...make you feel..." he ran a hand through his hair, the words never really coming out.

"It's okay Esmond," Sansa whispered.

A long sigh left him as he stared out into the pond that was beside the cabin. He looked past that and into the woods, watching the fading light of the sun cast its glow through the trees. The rays left shadows to fall behind.

"I've told you a lot of things already that I shouldn't have."

"I know."

"How old are you Sansa?"

The sudden question threw her off but she smiled and answered, "I suppose eighteen? I've lost track of the months during my travels....but...." Sansa thought back reflecting the seasons that had passed. She realized then that she had always subconsciously been aware of the changing seasons. "I'm eighteen. Almost nineteen."

"You don't seem eighteen," Esmond looked down at her, squinting at her face in the fading light.

"And you?"

Esmond suddenly grinned, "Seventeen."

Sansa stood aghast, "You just shifted?!"

Esmond laughed at her expression. "It's why my father left me in charge. A test of sorts now that I'm able to protect the pack."

"Well..." Sansa seemed at a loss for words. For some reason, she had been sure that Esmond was in his twenties. Something about the fierceness of his gaze and words made him feel older to her.

"I guess we both are 'old souls' as they say," Esmond said.

"I suppose," Sansa reevaluated him, but still could not trace the outlines of youth from his features.

"Thank you for healing today."

"I'll heal tomorrow also."

Esmond gave a pained smile, "Maybe. My father is expected to arrive soon. And...I don't know if you will be welcomed when he comes...but for as long as I am in his place you will be accepted here.

*   *   *

Despite Esmond's words, the days passed by with no interruption. Sansa wondered if anyone in the pack liked their Alpha. For some reason, there seemed to be a hush- a whisper of fear- whenever just the idea of him came into conversations.

Sansa felt no fear from their words though. In her travels, she had encountered the cruelty of Alphas. In her own parents, she had witnessed and heard of the corruption of power.

Why is it that the good never lead?

A week passed and still, the shadow of the true Alpha did not come. It almost lulled the pack into a false sense of peace.

Sansa was beginning to realize more and more of just how much her traveling had changed her.

Some nights she sat in her cabin, mourning the girl she used to be, and wondering if Night would even recognize her now.

She looked at her hands- hands that were full of rough patches and small scars.

When he had first met her, they had been smooth. Unblemished. She stared hard at them, remembering how Epione had traced their lines.

Slowly Sansa closed her hands, creating fists. She looked up, inhaling deeply as she stared wordlessly at the ceiling above her. 

Sorry for the short chapter and the long breaks in-between each one. Hopefully we'll get these updates going XD

Love you all ♥ Hope you are staying safe