“Mommy, why is it so loud?” A then young Levi asked, walking out of his room down to the sitting room where he spotted a tear streaked man tied to a chair. “Is that man screaming?”

“Le, dear, go back to sleep,” His grandfather had instructed, patting his back and ushering him away from the room. 

Levi peered at the crying man closely, noticing one of his hands didn’t look normal for a regular person.

“Grandpa, was he screaming because he hurt his finger? What happened to his hand? Why doesn't he have a finger?”

“Now, now, Le, we don’t ask questions like that, do we? Go back to sleep like a good little boy.”

At that time, Levi had simply nodded, going back to his room where all he could see when he closed his eyes was the blood that dripped onto the marble floor, the bright red contrasting heavily with the dark flooring and simply ruining it. As a child it had been a sort of eye opening experience and nowhere near the good way, more in the sense that there were actual people that had the ability to hurt other people and not feel guilty.

But his Grandma and Grandpa and Mommy and Uncle Kenny and Uncle he didn’t know the name of were good people, right? They fed him cookies and told him stories and played and splashed water on him when they went outside. They were helping that man with his hurt finger, right? They bandaged his hurt knees and would stroke his head when he hit it against a wall when playing roughly so they’d obviously help that poor, fingerless, man.

Even as a child, he knew that didn’t sound right but he stayed quiet. Kuchel was the nicest Mother ever and he’d wait for her to tell him but that day never came and with the hope that his loved ones were the people he believed them to be, he patiently sought out the day that he’d be told because frankly, the man with a missing finger was all he could think of for years on end. Then a day struck where even without an explanation, it made sense. And that day was when he woke up to find his living room pooled in blood from his family. The cold, lifeless, eyes of the beautiful woman he had called his Mother staring at him in a silent scream, reminding him that he had to keep living even when she wasn’t.

Levi shuddered, his mind reeling back to reality and that’s when he decided he would read a book until he could no more and walked off to his small library. He could see it now. Is this where his lack of eating began? Is that when his sleep decreased every passing day? Is this how his cleaning habit started? No. It had to have been engraved into him before birth, didn’t it? 

He was in denial. The blood splatters that plagued his mind and made his hands itch to scrub them away, the screams that kept him up at night on the most random of days, the smell of death that made him want to hurl. An iron like smell that existed only within blood which made him lose appetite for almost everything that brought iron to the body. They lived in him, haunted him every passing day and though they weren’t often occurrences in his younger days, they scarred a child for life. Why did his grandparents, great-grandparents, hell, probably his own parents have to live such a life? Live a life where they thought taking away the source of light for a person was right? And to make it worse, he had been told that they slowed down compared to the ones before them but it felt like an endless loop of torture roaming the one place he longed to call ‘home.’

Grabbing a book, he removed his dress and walked over to a comfortable seat dressed in thigh highs and a pair of boxer-briefs. He felt comfortable, ready to distract his inner monologue from telling him that he was indirectly guilty of every crime his family had committed for the sole reason he was a child of the Ackerman family. He spent the rest of the day reading and eventually, had to switch on the light so he could see. No use looming in the dark where the demons could grab onto his foot and drag him to hell.

After a while, Levi realized he hadn’t been paying attention to the book he was reading but instead, he was now distracting himself by thinking of the short time he had spent with Erwin.

Erwin had put up with him and hadn’t gotten mad when he made him clean. The taller had even gone as far as hearing out his side of his depressing family history and reasons for skeletons in his basement. Not once had he made a hostile move and he did everything with a smile which made Levi realize the blond would be an amazing friend as long as he put some effort in trying to remain in contact and visit each every so often.

“I wonder, when should I visit?” Levi asked himself, his eyes trained on the steadily increasing yellow pages of the book, yet he couldn’t focus on what was happening. “Maybe I should eat. Erwin told me to eat so I won’t pass out again.”

Setting his book to a side to read when he could actually put a picture to the scene, Levi begrudgingly headed to the kitchen, still wearing his two articles of clothing. The biggest problem when it came to eating was preparing the food itself. He would cook for others, for fun at times, and when really necessary, but on regular days, it was difficult which is why now that he was forcing himself to get his shit together, he did nothing but slap together a sandwich half-heartedly. 

He really didn’t want to eat but when he looked down, he could start to see his ribs and the thought of having them fully protruding was enough to eat the sandwich. Damn all eating problems that cursed the Earth.

“I don’t like eating,” Levi mumbled, taking a bite of his sandwich. “This stuff tastes disgusting.” 

Was it being in denial or was it just stubbornness? Because before he knew it, he had already finished his sandwich and had made a cup of tea that he held happily in his slender hands, the warmth in it reminding him that he was out of shape and the slightest draft against his skin would have him shivering like hell.

“I’ll need Uncle Kenny to get me more food if I plan on eating a little more than I usually do.”

Slipping on a pair of black flats he normally used for outside walking, he exited his house to look at the stars while drinking his tea.

Did the stars know he existed? Could they look down and see he was alone? Were one of those stars his fallen Mother or had she turned to an angel simply watching over him? Did stars know that one day they would explode and die, eventually forgotten about or did they exist with no purpose except to twinkle brightly in the night sky and to be admired like a precious jewel? But, most importantly, did stars feel lonely knowing they were thousands of miles apart from each other yet shone in the same universe? Was that how regular people met? Was everyone just a bright star, waiting to be found, to have someone they could shine bright with and show that they were more than just a gem on their own, the other half for someone where they could show they were brighter than anyone one single star?

Oh how Levi loved stars with a passion unmatched. They were beautiful.

He felt the cold hit against his bare chest and he shivered a bit but ignored it as he sat contentedly on a small fountain on the side of the house. The water that fell into its restricted basin sent little splashes against his back and he started shivering more as the wind blew against him. He was so relaxed looking at the heavens, he didn’t realize someone approach him from behind.

“Oi, Levi.”

Levi jumped in shock, spilling some tea over his hands as he tore his gaze away from the beauty only the night could provide. He hissed in a bit of pain but ignored it to see who had destroyed his quiet time.

“Oh, hello Uncle Kenny.”

“You know, with the way you were so unfocused, someone could have murdered you in a blink of an eye.”

“Uncle, there aren’t that many people like you. Besides, no one ever comes here except you and the errand boy.”

“Tch, whatever. Why‘re you dressed like a stripper?” Kenny asked with raised brows, scanning Levi’s one and a half piece clothing cover. Thigh highs couldn’t be considered a full clothing article so they deserved the title of half. “And why’re you outside freezing to death? You have weak skin, Le, you’ll turn to an icicle”

“I’m dressed like this because I can dress however I like and I’m outside because I can do what I want.”

“As sweet as ever, aren’t you?”

“Only to you,” Levi replied with a smirk, drinking the last of his cooling tea.

“Not like you know anyone else anyway,” Kenny joked.

“Are you sure about that?”

Kenny eyed him, figuring out if it was a rhetorical question where they’d laugh and bicker about Levi being a loner but right as he was about to assume, he noticed the seriousness within his nephew.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. You mean to tell me you actually met someone and didn’t scare them off? Let’s go inside and you can tell me about this person.”

“Tch, ” Levi scoffed, crossing his legs at the ankle.

“Oh come on. Tell your favorite Uncle, won’t you?” Kenny pleaded jokingly.

“You won’t stop will you?”

“Nope.”

And he was lost. Kenny knew he already won the moment Levi stood up to head back into the house. No additional clothes were pulled on because it was only his Uncle and it didn’t matter if he was seen by the elder Ackerman.

“What do you want to know?” Levi asked, pulling the blanket the same blanket from earlier across his lap.

“First, tell me why you’re dressed like a stripper. I know Kuchel supported you in everything but dressing like that? I don’t think she’d like that.”

“Like I said earlier, I don’t give a damn,” Levi said coolly, eventually adding on, “I was wearing a dress earlier, I took it off, and this is what was underneath,” when his Uncle narrowed eyes at him.

“Boring. Now tell me about your new friend.”

Kenny Ackerman. Literally the only man ever that would want a dramatic story for why Levi was dressed comfortably in his own house.

If only he didn’t want a dramatic story for everything, that’d make life a hell of a ton easier.