Y/N walked towards Ghoul Studies with a growing feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't sure how Sam would take this, let alone if he was doing the right thing. All he knew is that he didn't trust himself.

He knocked as he reached the classroom, entering when he heard Sam calling him to do so.

"Y/N, how are you feeling?" the older man said, walking over and pulling his student into a hug.

"You looked beaten to hell when you apparated on Tuesday. I'm glad you look better now."

"Thanks Sam, hows Ruby?" Y/N asked with audible concern in his voice.

"Better. Alastair was pretty brutal on her, she's still recovering at the Roadhouse but she'll be ok. We just got out of there by the skin of our teeth. I'm sorry for reacting angrily, when the angels turned up- I was just shocked."

"It's fine Sam. But I need to talk to you about that."

Y/N looked down, feeling the apprehension build in his stomach.

"Sam, I never would have betrayed Anna. I told Uriel when he said time was up to do it, throw me back into hell. I meant it... but when he told me... they either killed Anna or Hermione... Sam I..."

Y/N grew more emotional as he spoke, the guilt of his actions weighing on him like he was carrying an Erumpent on his shoulders.

"It's ok, Y/N. That was a disgusting thing for them to do, for Uriel to do. You had no choice. I get it. Sometimes there's no right choice, no matter what you do you lose someone, at least it worked out in the end" Sam smiled trying to offer reassurance.

"Yeah about that. Sam I need to stay out of the field for a while. Focus on school I-"

He stopped as he looked up to see the shocked expression on his teachers face.

"Y/N if this is about Anna and what happened you don't need to worry it-"

Y/N held up a hand to stop Sam and it worked, he started to speak again.

"Sam I don't trust myself to make important decisions. I got Sarge killed, I betrayed Anna I-"

"Listen to me Y/N. I know it's hard, and sometimes shit happens, you can't help it. Sometimes you lose people, have to make decisions that stay with you afterwards. But you have to know.... you're incredible out there. You carry yourself like a seasoned vet when you're hunting. Your instincts, your reflexes, the way you can mould yourself to an undercover situation. I can teach you how to hunt, spells, weapons, how to kill nasties, but the stuff that comes naturally to you... it's the stuff I can't teach. Either you have it or you don't. And you definitely do."

Y/N took in Sam's words. He reflected on them before replying:

"Did I ever tell you what happened in Azkaban Sam?"

Sam's eyes widened and his breathe caught in his throat. He'd heard stories, a lot of people had. Following the reports in the Daily Prophet the rumours had passed around the Wizarding World like hot potatoes.

"No, Y/N. You didn't. And it wasn't my place to ask."

Y/N inhaled deeply and got ready to bare his soul.

"I killed 16 men in there Sam. 16. The first happened my first day there. Idiot in the lunch room tried to shiv me. The next four, well they tried to get the jump on me in the bathroom. Wanted to rape me, make me their new bitch. I ended them."

Sam went to speak but Y/N stopped him again.

"The next one was Augustus Rookwood. He was one of the men who murdered my father. Turned me into what I am. I stalked him, learnt his routine and then I pounced. I killed him Sam, but I didn't just do that."

"What do you mean Y/N?" Sam asked, deeply concerned by his mentee's unusually solemn tone and mannerism. Y/N sighed:

"Forty five minutes"

"What?" Sam asked, a feeling of dread building in his stomach.

"For forty five minute I played with him. I wanted to have some fun with him, Sam. Make him suffer. Make him pay for what he did. I broke his arms so he was defenceless. I picked up his blade and I-" Y/N stopped and steadied himself. He hadn't told anyone the full details of what happened in Rookwood's cell.

"I carved and sliced and gouged and flayed. He was begging me to stop Sam. Spilling his guts about the knights, crying, pleading and you know what Sam... I liked it. I liked hearing him beg for mercy and knowing it wouldn't be forthcoming".

They sat in silence before Y/N spoke again.

"I don't know how much of that was me, how much was the Archon, or if after everything I've gone through something has just broken inside me Sam. It scares the hell out of me. It's not the first time I've tortured but I've never been so... bloodthirsty."

Y/N sighed.

"I always justified it in my head, that I'd done it out of necessity, that I was still a good person, that I had honour. When Uriel said I was going to hell unless I gave up Anna I didn't hesitate Sam, I was ready to go. But when he said either I give up Anna or they kill Hermione, I didn't hesitate either. I had to betray her. I had to break my word. I had to keep Hermione safe, Sam."

Y/N looked down, too ashamed to look Sam in the eye.

"What if after everything the prophecy was right? What if I'm becoming Voldemort? I just don't know anything any more, if that makes sense. Pamela knew about what I had done. When I took her home she told me the Archon is breaking my defences, that if I torture again it will take over with or without my permission. What if I snap out there Sam? With my power and the Archon at the helm I could torch half the planet. I just need some time Sam, time to focus on school and Hermione and trying to figure my head out. I'm sorry to let you down."

Sam was silent for a moment before responding.

"It does make sense Y/N. And you haven't let me down. You couldn't let me down. I'm sorry for... everything you just said. Sometimes we do things and we aren't proud of them, and sometimes things escalate quicker than we realise and by the time we can catch our breathe it's utter chaos. I understand why you feel this way, and even though I'm gonna miss having my partner out there you gotta do what you feel is right. Take all the time you need man, they're be plenty of hunts when you're ready to go back out, I can promise you that."

They finished their lesson and hugged, Sam promising to pass on Y/N's best to Ruby and Bobby and that he would see Y/N in a week.

—~—

Hermione met Y/N at Hagrid's hut and they went to the Reserve together, enjoying the time and catching up with their friends. Hermione smiled as she watched Y/N interact with the creatures, seemingly much more contented than he had been for the previous few weeks.

After the Reserve they went to the library and met Lavender and Harry to work on assignments. Ron had not gone at it was Ron and he was sulking after failing his potion that morning.

Harry was working on his Hinkypunk scroll for DADA, Lavender her Wideeye assignment, Hermione her Arithmancy prime number-matrixing scroll and Y/N his Alchemy formulae parchments.

They had an enjoyable few hours of hard work and research before Professor McGonagall came to them.

"Y/N, Professor Dumbledore has requested you go to his office. He specified you alone, please."

Y/N looked at her momentarily silently, with an unreadable face before he answered:

"Fine. Thank you Professor."

She smiled and left.

"Any idea what this is about love?" Hermione asked anxiously.

"No. Knowing him it could be anything. I'll fill you in when I get back. Don't wait for me love, if I'm not back by 4:45 just go to dinner without me and I'll meet you there."

They kissed as they parted and Y/N apparated to the Headmaster's office in Gryffindor Tower.

As he arrived out the front the spiral staircase was already present, he walked up and was about to knock before he heard two muffled voices- the Headmaster's and one who sounded like a constipated poodle. He decided instead to eavesdrop:

"Do not forget, Headmaster, that this visit of our wise and righteous Minister must be kept completely secret. He will be here for the duration of the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw match to watch his nephew compete for the Ravenclaw team. That boy should not be allowed to compete while Cornelius is here. He shouldn't be allowed to attend Hogwarts as it is" the constipated poodle barked.

"The enrolment of Y/N L/N is none of your concern, Madam Undersecretary Umbridge, nor is his position on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Now if you will excuse me-"

Y/N thought this was an opportune time to knock loudly on the office door.

"Come in" the Headmaster called out.

Y/N entered and smiled charmingly at the short rotund woman standing in front of him, glaring.

Y/N chuckled to himself:

"Hello, sweetheart. Aren't you a gorgeous one? Robbing the cradle a bit here Dumbledore."

The woman's face turned purple in the blink of an eye. She was so enraged she lost the ability to formulate words. Instead she stood there, making strange angered grunting noises. Y/N didn't skip a beat:

"Your imitation of a mating Erumpent is spot on. You pull off the look as well, now if you wouldn't mind pissing off, the Headmaster has private business with an Heir of House L/N. Go on shoo kitten!"

Y/N concluded with a shoo'ing hand motion to the woman. Her face was now close to magenta and a vein appeared to be about to pop out of her neck. She turned with an outraged huff and stormed out of the Headmaster's office leaving a chuckling Y/N and stern looking headmaster in her wake.

"Y/N, that was-"

"I'm well aware who that gutter snake is Albus. Why did you call me here?" Y/N snapped. The Headmaster was caught off guard by his tone, thinking the pair had somewhat reconciled after the hospital stay earlier in the week. He replied, slightly concerned:

"I received an owl from the King of the Goblins, Y/N. He asked for you to Floo to his palace, immediately."

Y/N's stone face turned to a wide smile as he replied, clapping his hands together:

"Ahh, excellent. Am I permitted to use your office Floo or would you prefer I go downstairs to administration?"

"No you may use this one. May I ask why the Goblin King would request your presence?"

Y/N felt the creep of legilimency trying to peer into his mind and tightened his defences.

"That's extremely rude, Albus. And tell me, do I pry into your personal finances?"

Albus was caught off guard again by Y/N's tone, stuttering back:

"N-No but-"

"Then I would kindly ask you to do the same. Thank you for the use of your Floo. I will return as soon as my business with the King has been concluded. Good day."

He approached the large fireplace and stepped into it, throwing the Floo Powder down and announcing:

"Goblin Palace arrival hall."

With a green flash he had gone and left a confused and concerned Headmaster behind him.