Oh my god oh my god oh my god wait til you read the end of this chapter bcos lemme tell you this plot twist i cannot!!!!!

"Andy and Emerson had a fight," Remington tells the eldest of the three brothers, walking beside the man in the park. The two decided to spend a day together to sort things out after everything that happened with their little brother and with him being in hospital. "Andy was all bruised and apparently they were punching eachother."

Sebastian just shakes his head. "I wonder who started it," he ponders, "probably Emerson."

"What the hell is up with him?"

"I honestly wish I fuckin' knew."

"Who's he even mad at, though? Me? Did I do something wrong?" He looks up at Sebastian for a moment. "I asked Andy what they argued about but he kept saying it wasn't important. Maybe Emerson said something?"

The guitarist shrugs. "We need to, like, lock him in a room until he tells us, or something. It's getting so ridiculous. And have you seen what's going on on Instagram? Everyone thinks you and Andy have divorced. You might wanna clear that up before it makes it into some music magazine."

"God, imagine."

"What do you wanna do about Emerson, bub? You want me to try talk to him?"

"No..." Remington sighs. "I want to know what I've done wrong so I can fix it because I still want him to be my best friend."

"Okay. But I don't think you've done anything wrong. I think he's being a little bitch again. Y'know, like when he was arguing with you abaout your anorexia. Sometimes I think he just likes arguing."

"But why would he like arguing with me? I thought I loved me."

Sebastian pulls the yunger over to a bench and they sit down. "Don't ask me. He's complicated."

"Yeah, complicated," Remington repeats, and after a moment, "or just tired of me."

Sebastian hears what he says and shakes his head. He hates how easily his brother can convince himself of there always being a reason why someone would hate him. And Remington's always done it, too. It's not like Holly was the one that made him this way. He's always been in need of reassurance. Of course, more so after what Holly did, but even before her, he would manage to make himself feel useless and like everyone hated him.

"Are you tired of me?"

"No, of course not. Why would I be?"

"Because I'm just-well I'm me. I'm that person who everyone pretends they like but as soon as I'm out of the room they all talk shit about how annoying and stupid I am. I'm the one who is laughed at for something I can't help, or-or shouted at for something I never did. I'm just...I'm Remington."

"You're Remington," Sebastian says, "and Remington is the most awesome person I know. Remington loves more than I've ever known anyone to love. Remington flies where others crawl. Remington is a fucking legend and he doesn't give himself enough credit for himself, and I think that's very sad."

"Remington doesn't deserve love."

"Remington can't see how much we all need him. Remington can't see how lost we'd be without him."

"Remington is lost."

"And he will be found again. He will find himself again."

The boy looks down at his lap, where too-big pink hoodie meets too-big black tracksuits. "Maybe he's never found himself in the first place."

Sebastian looks at Remington's hands, how they can't keep still, like the boy knows what will happen if he doesn't find something to occupy them.

"Maybe...maybe he doesn't know how to find himself. Maybe that's why he never has." He plays with the bottom of the hoodie that he knows needs washing. He's worn it for nearly a week straight now. It feels safe. Perhaps because Andy has worn it a lot, too. Or because, when Andy gave it to him the other day, the man had told him how adorable he looked in it, made Remington feel special.

Shy is upset with Emerson. Upset that he has let things get so out of hand, that he has made Andy upset, and in turn, made Remington upset, too. Upset that he is too scared to just tell them how he's really feeling. Forgotten. That's the word he keeps using to explain it to her. It's like they have forgotten about me, like they don't need a third brother anymore.

He's wrong, of course he is. Sebastian and Remington need him. They always have and they always will.

"I don't get it," Shy says one afternoon, "you say you feel forgotten and yet you still go shouting at them. Of course they're gonna cut you off if you argue with them all the time."

"They're supposed to talk to me," Emerson insists, "ask me what's wrong, tell me it's okay. They're not meant to just stop talking to me."

The woman shakes her head like she's tired of this conversation. "They have other things going on, Em. They have their own lives. They don't have time to constantly be trying to figure out what game you're playing. If you want them to talk to you then you need to talk to them, first."

"I'm not playing a game."

"Yes, you are. You're making them guess what's made you so angry at them. You're hurting the ones around them and not saying why. From where I'm standing, it's a game. And no one is winning."

"They should know why I'm arguing with them!"

"Why? How is it obvious? You haven't told them. You haven't even given them a hint. You beat up Remington's husband and somehow that's supposed to make it all clear to them."

"Why are you taking their side?"

Shy wants to drag him by his hair out of the house and to Remington's. "I'm not taking anyone's side. I'm telling you what's really going on here. You're pushing them away and then wondering why the hell they aren't coming back after you insult them, hurt them, tell them you don't love them, and, let me remind you, make your suicidal, anorexic brother think you want him dead by telling him more than once to kill himself, because 'it would stop all his whining.'"

"I never said that."

"Yes you fucking did. Multiple times. To his face. Why do you think he's been staying away from you?"

"He's a grow man, Shy."

"Yeah. A grown man with serious PTSD, depression, anorexia, anxiety and the uncontrollable need for validation and love. You know this! You know him! What the fuck is up with you? Seriously, what the fuck has he done to make you such a bully?"

Emerson sighs. He should tell her. He hasn't told anyone. "He cheated."

"What?"

"When he was with Holly. He cheated."

"How could you possibly know that?"

Emerson knew he couldn't have hidden it forever. "You remember when he was going on and on about those pictures that he never explained? When the stalker found him again?"

The woman nods, waiting for what's to come.

"The photos; they're of Remington kissing another woman while they were still together. Before she started hurting him. Boxing day the year they got together. We went out with some friends. Holly went to the toilet and while she was gone, Remington kissed someone else. It wasn't an accident. It was intentional. He was touching her, pulling her into him. He meant it."

Shy is quiet. What does she say?

"I took the pictures and sent them to Holly. I thought she deserved to know." He opens his mouth one more time. "I told her to make him pay for what he had done."