It was raining, the windshield wipers were not getting a break.

"Lana, take a left," said my older brother, James.

I rolled my eyes."There is no left James, let me drive."

"James, leave her alone. She knows what she's doing," said my mother from the passenger seat. I had just gotten my driver's license.

James kept on poking me from the back. Was there a big brother rule book out there that claimed annoying your younger sister was a must? He was driving me insane.

"Stop it! I said stop it James!" I said having enough, turning my head to glare at him, maybe rip off his finger.

"LANA!" yelled my mom. 

I  whipped back to realize I had moved to the wrong side of the road. I panicked as the approaching car's horn deafened my ears. I lost control of the car as it toppled over the side of the road tumbling down a hill. I moaned as the car stopped rolling. I think I hit my head pretty hard. I looked around me to check on my family. James seemed okay other than the blood tricking down the side of his face and the fear that consumed his expression.

My mom wasn't in her seat.  I realized the windshield was broken.

My hands started to shake as I struggled to remove my seatbelt. I stumbled out of the car unable to keep my balance. As I tried to stand up, I saw her limp body on the ground. 

"Mom!" I yelled running towards her. I shook her shoulders getting a groan from her. I let out a sigh of relief realizing she was still conscious.

"Oh my god mom, I'm so sorry," I cried.

Her bottom lip trembled. "I-I can feel my legs. I can't feel them. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't feel my legs."

"It's going to be okay," I reached for her, but she flinched away.

"Don't touch me! Don't! Get away from me!" she said, looking at me as if I was a murderer. I almost was. I caused this. I almost killed us. I hurt her.

"James! James! Help! Please!" I yelled for my brother.

He came towards us, he looked dazed. He might have a concussion. 

"We need to get her near the road," I instructed. We needed help.

He nodded picking up our mother and carrying her up the hill back towards the road, where we were joined by an ambulance within a few minutes.

I always replayed that day every time I sat in the hospital's waiting room. It was the day everything fell apart. Word travelled quick here is Rochdale. It only took days for everyone to know what happened. What I caused. My brother and I had managed to get away with a few scratches, but my mom had lost her legs. I was lucky she didn't die, but I could never forget the way she looked at me. Like I was a monster. 

I ruined my family and I slowly ruined my life too. Other than my random panic attacks, I started to become distant from my friends until I had none. I was now that freak at school that almost killed her mom. I was a walking train wreck. 

We often went to the hospital with my mother. We hopped rehab might help her, but so far it was useless. My family became closer after the accident, but I became distant. I couldn't look them in the eye. I always went with them to the hospital, but always stood stayed in the waiting room. My mother never saw me here, but I came either way. I needed to be here.

My father walked in, taking a seat beside me. "Hey kiddo, are you coming in this time?"

I shook my head. "No... but is everything okay?"

He sighed. "She's doing just fine Lana. How much times do I have to tell you it's not your fault."

My lip trembled. It was all my fault. I drove off the road, I lost control, I'm the one who did this to her. She had to hate me. I hated myself.

"Don't cry kiddo, come here," he said pulling me towards him and wrapping his arms around me tightly. I didn't let myself cry long before pushing him away.

"Go, she probably wants you beside her."

"She would want you too," he tried one last time.

I shook my head again. I could never face her. He sighed tiredly before heading back. I lowered my head between my hands trying to regulate my breathing incase I had another panic attack. 

"Is that you Meyers?" asked a familiar voice.

I raised my head to find none other than heart breaker Gray Roland. Being picked on at school was enough torture. I couldn't handle it here and now.

"Please not right now Gray," I begged.

"So you speak?" he teased, his lips tipping up into a smile. "Should I feel honored?" 

"Please," I bit my lip to keep me from crying. I didn't want to cry in front of him, but with everything going on it was taking everything to keep myself from falling apart.

"I'm not going to eat you Lana," he said, his eyebrows furrowing.

I couldn't let him take advantage of me. When I saw he wasn't leaving, I started to walk away. I needed to leave anyway before my mom came out. 

I rounded the corner only to come face to face with James who was holding a tray of coffee.

"Whoa twerp, where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to start dinner," I said. It was only half a lie. I had taken over the house work due to my mom's impairment. I needed to feel like I was helping my family in a way.

"Just wait a bit, we'll all go together," he offered. He was also trying to fix me like my dad. I couldn't get over the horrible deed I've done. How could they forgive me so easily?

"Hey James," said Gray from behind me.

I held my breath. Why did he follow me?

"Gray! You holding my old position well?" asked James. I knew to what he was referring to. James use to be our school's heart breaker, after he graduated all the attention turned to Gray, not that he didn't have any to begin with. With his dark hair and grey eyes got a lot of attention. To say he was handsome was an understatement.

"Nah man, you were just keeping my seat warm," Gray smirked confidently.

"Ha, alright kid I like that energy. Why don't you come over for dinner? Tell me how Rochdale High's been doing," James offered.

NO! I looked back and forth between my brother and Gray in horror. 

Say no. Say no!

Gray gave me one quick look. "Sure."

Oh no.

I needed to get away from here.

I rushed out the hospital, but Gray called after me. "Hey Lana! Wait!"  

I accelerated my walk. Maybe I should run... His footsteps got closer. I closed my eyes as his hand wrapped around my arm and spun me around to face him.

Oh he looked angry. "Do you not hear me calling you?" 

"What do you want Gray? Why are you here?" I mumbled the words. I wanted to be stronger, braver, but I wasn't the same girl I used to be.

"Did you forget? My parents work here," he reminded me. Ah yes, he did come from a family of doctors. How unfortunate for me.

"Leave my family alone and go see yours," I said slowly and firmly.

He tilted his head to the side, a frown on his lips. "You're sort of cold."

Cold? Me?

I let out a choked laugh. "That's rich coming from you?"

"People see me the way they want to see me," said Gray, his eyes turning dark.

I gulped, pulling my arm away from his grasp.

"Well the same thing applies to me."

With that, I left. This time, he didn't follow.

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