Going back to school and facing life was harder than I anticipated. With the cold settling over New York and the general gloominess of a breakup and being hunted by a psychotic biochemist, facing school and, inevitably Colton, made me want to drill a hole in my eyes. At least then I'd have an excuse to stay home.

But I knew eventually I'd have to step up to the music, so the first day back I huddled tighter into my trench coat and practically ran for the newspaper office, keeping my head down so that I didn't have to face any stares of familiar faces.

The newspaper offered a welcoming warmth, and I gladly slipped into the small cocoon to find my redheaded best friend holding a cup toward me. "I bring coffee."

Teeth chattering, I gladly accepted the steaming beverage. "Have I mentioned you're the best friend in the world?"

"You have, but reminders are always gladly accepted," Chloe replied, taking a seat at her computer. "Haven't heard much from you for the last couple of days. How are you doing?"

I booted up my computer and tried to focus on the task at hand instead of anything else. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? Everything's fine."

"Ah, denial," Chloe said, nodding sagely. "I was wondering which breakup stage you were up to."

"No breakup stages," I told her. "Colton told me he wanted nothing to do with me and then hasn't called or attempted to make contact since. Obviously he's over it, and so am I. I'm totally okay now."

"Of course you are," Chloe sing-songed, typing something into her computer.

"I am!" I told her. "Really."

"So sobbing into the phone at two o'clock the other morning to me was just a one-time relapse, then."

"I got into my mother's liquor cupboard and stole some pinot grigio. I cannot be blamed for that."

"Oh, so drunk you is the only one who isn't in denial."

Throwing a stapler at her was my only response, which was met with a flurry of giggles, frustratingly enough.

"Let's just forget all of that," I said. "The newspaper office is meant to be our sanctuary, so let's not allow any bad vibes to ruin it."

"Too late," Chloe sing-songed, her large green eyes settling on something behind me.

I groaned. "What now?"

I spun around and was faced with bright brown eyes and the tumbling cascade of raven curls that characterized Alexi. She knocked on the door gently and flashed me a tentative smile. "Hey. Can I borrow Violet for a second?"

Chloe opened her mouth—probably to decline in a show of best friend loyalty—but I stood up and quieted her with a smile. "It's okay, Chlo. I'll be right back."

Feeling nervousness twist in my stomach, I followed Alexi out of the door and into the crowded corridor. Her slender ivory fingers played with the hem of her shirt, revealing that she was just as wary as I was.

"I tried calling a couple of times over the week," Alexi began. "It went to your voicemail and you never called back."

"Sorry," I said. "I wasn't really in the mood to talk. Is everything okay?"

"You tell me," she replied. "Look, I don't know what happened between you and Colton, but he's a mess."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He's not focused. He's lost motivation. He's tired; he's sloppy. I'm worried about him."

"He's got bulletproof skin and superpowers," I reminded her, crossing my arms over my chest. I knew it was wrong to be bitter, but it still hurt. "I'm sure he can handle himself."

"You don't get it," Alexi said. As a crowd of teenagers streamed past, she grabbed the sleeve of my sweater and dragged me over to a more quiet part of the hall. "If Nathaniel's getting closer to him, this mindset isn't going to help. He's going to get himself killed. And no matter what happened, I know you don't want that either."

"Of course I don't want that," I told her. "But look, he broke it off with me. He's the one who chose this, not me."

"He broke up with you?" Alexi asked disbelievingly. Apparently Colton had glossed over the most important details of our New Year's Eve feud.

I nodded. "Yeah. And he made it pretty clear he had no intentions of being anywhere near me."

She shook her head, her red lips parting in surprise. "Vi, I'm sorry. I had no idea."

The memory of that cold night and hearing the words 'I don't love you' passing his lips sent a chill down my spine, and I fought the urge to throw up.

I cleared my throat and forced the realest smile I could muster. "It's fine. I'm over it. Look, I gotta go. Chloe needs me. I'll catch you later."

Before she could say anything, I spun on my heel and started back towards the newspaper office, trying to push down thoughts of Colton and the longing I felt in my chest. He'd broken up with me, not the other way around. I shouldn't miss someone who didn't even love me.

But I did.

~ * ~

I managed to avoid him for most of the day. I skipped first period in favour of getting together the New Year edition of the newspaper, and thankfully our classes together were few and far between. I kept my head down, avoided the routes in which I'd normally see him, and did my best not to think about him.

Unfortunately, the thing about breaking up is that the feelings don't just go away. While I wanted more than anything to just forget what we had and that he'd ever existed, it wasn't that easy. Traitorous thoughts continuously crept into my mind, and I couldn't stop the pain in my heart. The worst part of it all was knowing that he didn't feel the same way. Anything he'd felt for me was gone. He probably hadn't even thought about me twice since that night. And here I was obsessing over it. I couldn't focus on work or talk to anyone or focus on anything but him. I wanted more than anything to move on, but I had no idea how to do that.

Just when it seemed like I'd go the whole day without having to see him, lunch came around and I was forced into the social situation I now dreaded the most post-breakup.

"You have to face your fears," Chloe told me, dragging me toward the looming cafeteria doors. Behind them, I could hear the raucous sound of teenagers laughing and chatting. They didn't have to worry about running into their exes.

"I can't do it, Chloe," I told her. "What if I see him?"

She stopped and turned to me, planting her hands on my shoulders. "Then you make him regret ever crossing you. Toss your hair, keep your head high, and make him wish he'd never broken up with you. Show him everything he's missing."

While the pep talk seemed like a good idea at first, as soon as I entered the bouncing atmosphere of the cafeteria, my confidence came grinding to a halt. There were people everywhere, and the devil on my shoulder wanted me to look around and see if I could spot him somewhere in the crowd.

"Chin up," Chloe said, looping her arm through mine. "Grab a tray, grab some food, and sit down. It's easy. Come on."

I allowed her to drag me through the crowd towards the cafeteria line. Despite her advice to keep my head held high, I kept my eyes down to avoid spotting any familiar faces in the crowd. Her arm slipped from mine as she grabbed a tray and began piling food on it. Not hungry, I grabbed a minimal amount and sidled after her.

"You okay?" she asked as we exited the line and started towards the table.

I took a deep breath and forced a smile, looking up at her. "I'm—"

Just then my eyes met a pair of deep blue ones across the room, staring straight at me. The breath caught in my throat and my chest constricted. Colton took a step toward me, and I felt my stomach twist.

"I can't do this, I have to go," I whispered, running for the cafeteria doors and out into the hallway. I walked quickly towards the school's entry and out into the wan sunshine, which peeked through gunmetal-gray clouds.

I sat down on a bench near the parking-lot and rested my face in my hands, thankful for a moment of silence away from the crowds.

The crunch of gravel alerted me to someone's presence, and I looked up to see Colton standing there in his signature leather jacket.

"What are you doing here?" I groaned. I did not feel emotionally capable enough to deal with anything he had to say to me.

"I need to talk to you," he told me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"There is nothing I want to hear from you," I told him, standing up. "You made yourself pretty clear the other night."

"Look, V, about that—" he began.

I held up my hand. "Colt, don't, okay? Please. I can't handle hearing anything else from you."

"What I said—"

"Stop," I told him, my voice coming out stronger than I thought I could. "Just... stop, okay? Please. I can't do this."

"Violet, I need you to know—"

"Haven't you done enough?" I whispered, feeling my eyes burn with unshed tears. I balled my trembling hands into fists. "Don't do this to me. Please just leave me alone."

I tucked my head down and stormed back toward the school, needing to be anywhere that he wasn't. It wasn't fair that he could do that to me and then try to talk as if everything was fine. As if my heart wasn't breaking inside me and my life wasn't crumbling apart.

I'd never been one of those people who thought their happiness would depend on someone they loved, and I never thought anyone would mean enough to me that I felt emotionally destroyed upon their absence.

I think the hardest thing was seeing someone fall out of love with you. Hearing them tell you that they didn't feel the same way about you. That somewhere along the way something had gone wrong. Somewhere along the way, you'd lost them. And you weren't sure there was a way to get them back.

You weren't sure that you should.