22—Harry Styles

I jumped in my sleep when I heard the loud cry as if I fell asleep without meaning to and made myself late to somewhere. Renleigh groaned next to me as she turned on her side then I heard her sigh and she flicked on the bedside table lamp. This would have been her third time getting out of bed tonight, all because she was stubborn and wanted to be the one to get Leila.

"I'll go," I said with a croaky voice. I scooted closer to her and kissed her cheek before I managed to push myself out of bed. Leila was crying obnoxiously loud and on top of that, Dax was barking, too. I rubbed my eyes as I reached the crib with a couple of steps, it only being in front of the walk-in wardrobe.  "I told your mum to keep you in bed with us," I mumbled as I picked her up and she stopped crying instantly. I rolled my eyes and sighed as I walked back to the bed with her, Renleigh already sitting up and looking at us with tired eyes.

"She is so needy."

"We're ruining her by jumping to her all the time," I chuckled as I got in bed, too and sat all the way up to the headrest. "I hate hearing her cry."

"Same. It sucks, doesn't it?"

I hummed in response and then we both kind of quieted down. I leaned my head against the wall and my eyes slowly closed from how tired I was. I didn't even realise it happened until Leila made a sudden movement with her hands.

"Do you think babies understand each other when they cry at the same time?" I asked Renleigh after a while. It was a random thought, it was born out of my sleep deprived mind. Then again, I often had questions like that.

"What, you think it's like barking but for babies?" she chuckled as she looked at me. I glanced at her, too, as I rolled my head to the side and laughed.

"Yeah."

"I don't know," she answered quietly. "Ask her."

"Do I want her to start crying again?"

"No. Please. I beg."

"We should keep her between us for the rest of the night," I suggested. "She obviously wants to be around us, so."

"Whatever works for me," she said tiredly as she turned back to flick off the light. "Goodnight,"

"I can't fucking see, idiot."

• • •

Pulling the blinds up during the night was not ideal in the morning when the sun beamed right into my face. Because who else would be facing the massive glass windows, if not me, right? Right.

I groaned as I turned around so my back could block the brightness. Then I heard the softest little grunt ever and I couldn't fight back the smile on my face. Even with my eyes closed, my body completely exhausted from all the nights she kept us awake. Eventually, I turned back around and wiggled myself a little farther down the bed. This way, I was at eye-level with Leila. She was looking at me already as she laid on her back, looking ever so adorable.

"Hi," I whispered and leaned closer, kissing her cheek then nuzzling my nose against her. She smelled like a baby and I loved it. She was absolutely tiny and mine. "You are so pretty. Oh my god."

She had the biggest and bluest eyes I have ever seen. Her lashes were so long and thick, she had the chubbiest cheeks I ever did see on a baby and her hair was already so curly and shiny that I couldn't help but fall in love with her every time I looked at her. I saw so much of Renleigh in her and so much of me and it made me grin how neither of us could have denied her.

"Prettiest little princess, you are," I cuddled her to my chest and just kept her there. Inhaling the baby scent and loving the sound of her heartbeat was probably the best way to spend my morning. Even after her stinky ass kept me up for most of the night.

"You weren't saying that last night," Renleigh said as she stirred awake. I chuckled as I scooped Leila up in my arms and placed her beside her mother. "Is it feeding time?"

"Yep," I confirmed as I glanced at the screen of my phone. We slept in a little late but honestly, that was expected. Leila was a fucking owl, much like Renleigh as a baby, so we spent more time awake during the night than during the day. "Did you sleep at all?" I yawned as I asked her even though the answer was pretty evident in the way she looked.

"No," she answered. "After you put her in bed, she wouldn't stop moving until I put her on me so we just had a staring contest."

A deep chuckle ran past my lips whilst I dragged up the quilt to my neck. I was cold and getting goose bumps which, I knew was from being tired. I didn't know if we had anyone coming over today because for the past however many days, we've been home from the hospital, we had someone over every day. Baby Styles was attracting everyone and anyone to the house which was getting kind of stressful as we had so many things to juggle at the same time.

Not to mention the media. That definitely added even more pressure on us. It made people want to do crazy things. By crazy things, I mean people who knew me or Renleigh trying to sell information to journalists and whoever else regarding Leila. It was all bullshit, obviously, they knew as much as the general public and that was nothing. Announcing her to the world was not planned in any of our calendars but even if it would have been, it definitely would not have happened through other people leaking it.

Overall, it was a mess yet something that so many people anticipated for reasons still unknown to us.

"Shit, what day is it today?" I asked suddenly. I made a jumpy movement as I got up from the bed, my head light and little black dots swam in front of my eyes. Perhaps wasn't my best decision to move so quick.

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because—fuck," I felt my heart drop slightly as I looked at the date on my phone.

"What?" she asked me as her voice dropped lower, almost using an accusatory tone.

"You are turning thirty today," I said as I looked back at her, hating the fact that I forgot about it. I was usually good with dates but everything had been so hectic since Leila that the thought of her birthday completely slipped my mind.

"Oh... yeah. I am," she said as she realised herself. Ren was never a fan of celebrating birthdays so it didn't even surprise me that she didn't mention it before. "Do you want to do something for it? Because personally, I just want to have a fat nap. All day, if possible."

"It's up to you, babe. We can do nothing if you want. I'm surprised your dads didn't want to stay."

"They know I don't really like to celebrate it so it's like an unspoken day, I guess. They send me a text or call me but that's it," she shrugged. "Shit. Zayn. I swear if that dickhead will turn up with a cake or something, I will smash his head in it."

"Is he coming over today?"

"As far as I know, he is busy working. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of days and thinking about it now, I'm getting suspicious," she sighed. I watched her hold Leila and how she kept her attention on our little girl and I just couldn't stop looking. She suited being a mother so much more than I ever thought she would or she believed she could.

"He just text me," I chuckled. "'Hey, man, are we alright to come visit today? C's got the day off and so do I and we all know what day it is hahaha' and he even sent me a kiss."

"Ugh. Is that all he said?"

"Yeah."

"He is bringing a cake, isn't he?"

I laughed. "Yeah."

"Fuck," she breathed which turned into a chuckle. "Will you burp her, please?"

So, I did. I always ended up being the one to do it although I didn't mind. I loved walking around with her and more often than not, talk to her through the mirror. I just loved being a dad, you know? It was everything I wanted. And it all happened with the woman I loved the most. Life couldn't have gotten any better—it actually felt like it was too good to be true.

"Not again!" I heard Renleigh groaning as I came out of the bathroom. I spotted Leila on the bed, right in the middle, surrounded by a ton of pillows. I stepped over to her and gave her a big, juicy kiss before I looked for my girlfriend.

"What's up?"

"My fucking milk is leaking, that's what's up," she said angrily and the next thing I knew, she threw her bra at me. It hit me right in the face and nearly took my eye out as she aimed the clasp side of it towards me. "I don't know why I have so much of it."

"So you can feed our little princess."

"Well, our little princess needs to suck more out of these milk makers because I'm up to here," she moved her hand above her head as she emphasised on how she felt. "With how heavy my tits are."

"I can always hold them for you," I wiggled my eyebrows as I kept her bra on my index finger. "What shall I do with this?"

"Burn it for all I care," she muttered as she walked past me. Or more so tried to, because I held her back. "What?" she huffed.

"Don't be like that on your birthday," I pouted. I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer to me. "I love you so much and you are doing amazing."

"I love you but that's not going to stop my milk from leaking."

"Have you pumped yet?" I questioned.

"No. I can't do it for another two-to-three weeks otherwise I will start producing even more," she reminded me. I completely forgot what we had been told. "That also means I won't be back to work for another month and that's kind of driving me crazy because I don't know what's going on."

"You are on maternity leave. You shouldn't be worrying about work," I said. "Plus, Liam is back, isn't he? He can take care of things perfectly fine and Danielle is only an email or call away if he needs help."

"I know, it's just-," she leaned her forehead against my chin and I slipped my hands on her face. I pulled her back a little to press a kiss to her skin then ran my thumb along the apples of her cheeks.

"It's just?"

"I'm a stresshead, aren't I? Gotta make sure everything's in order constantly."

"That, I cannot argue," I smiled. "But you don't need to worry about anything for now. Well, anything other than your milk leaking and our baby belting like someone is breaking into our house."

"House," she repeated the word right after I said it as if she just remembered something. I furrowed my eyebrows and she quickly pulled back, her hands holding mine although she eventually let both of ours fall. "Can you get her, please? I have to make a call."

She walked off before I had the chance to respond but did what she asked anyway. Renleigh's head was always all over the place so sometimes, I didn't even have the mental capability to question anything. I just let her do her thing because I knew that even if she tried to explain, I wouldn't get it.

Quickly, I made my way back into the bedroom and picked up Leila. She cried so much and I honestly didn't know what was wrong with her most of the time. My first instinct was always to sniff her nappy because babies usually cry if they are shitty, right? Then after that, I would get Renleigh to feed her but she wouldn't latch so I'd just stand there and look at her scream until her lungs were about to give in. I think I walked around the house more since she was born than I have since I moved in. And that was years ago.

It seemed to work though. Every time. I would walk up and down the house with her in my arms, giving her kisses and bouncing with her to get her to stop crying. I think Dax had enough of her because he would scratch the glass windows whenever he wanted to go out. And that was every time she cried.

I ended up putting her in some warm clothes and going outside with her. She hasn't been out much, obviously, but I had to get Dax in since it was his turn to get food but I knew if I put Leila down, I wouldn't hear the end of it.

"So, I have something to tell you," Renleigh spoke as she took over Leila.

"Okay?"

"So... I-," before she had the chance to respond, the bell rung which meant that Zayn and Charlotte arrived. The gate keeper knew them already so they were just let in right away. "I'll tell you later."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "It can wait."

"Alright," I kissed her head and then Leila's back before I went to open the main door. Dax already had his food and water and I didn't want Ren running around so I just went to get the door myself. "Hey," I greeted the little family once I opened it, TJ already grinning when he saw me. The fact that he was already one, made me feel all kinds of things because it happened so fast and I was way too scared for my little princess to grow up so quick.

"Is she sleeping?" Charlotte asked. "Leila, I mean."

"So, you don't even care about me then, no?" Renleigh asked as she walked up behind me. I chuckled as I closed the door, Zayn kicking his shoes off with TJ in his arms. "She just stopped bloody crying so great timing, guys."

"Yeah, do you have anything for a baby that won't stop crying?" I joked and they all laughed.

"Okay, we know you don't like to make a big deal out of it, but happy fucking birthday, mate," Zayn mentioned it first as he grabbed Renleigh and pulled her into a tight hug. TJ was on the floor as he started crawling towards my dog so I kept my eyes on him whilst Charlotte was busy with Leila.

"I'm so glad you didn't bring me anything," I heard my girl sigh but also caught Zayn looking around with his lips pressed into a thin line. "No... you didn't, right?"

"Maybe it's in the car. Maybe it isn't. I guess you'll find out in a minute."

"I hate you so much. Both of you," she groaned.

"I'll remember that for when you want to leave your daughter with us," Zayn commented although I knew it was a joke. He would have been the happiest to look after Leila since he wanted a girl so bad.

In the end, we cut up the massive cake that Charlotte baked. That was in the car. Honestly, that woman was one of the most talented chefs-bakers-whatever her official title was. I would have hired her on the spot if she wasn't a friend. I mentioned it as a joke a couple of times and although we all laughed about it, she did say that she'd be down to arrange someone to work for us if we wanted a personal chef.

We ended up watching two movies but we talked through both. The kids were both asleep which was nice because both of them were being loud all day. I didn't think that having one of my own would tire me out quite this much, then again, the thought never crossed my mind. I just knew I wanted a little mix of me and the love of my life and that was it. This was a learning curve, one that not even my amazing driving skills could take quite so perfectly.

"...and that was enough of a celebration for the next ten years," Ren said dramatically as she slammed the door shut. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, my face tucked in the crook of her neck as I took a deep breath. "You okay?" she asked as I felt her fingers brush through my hair, up from the nape of my neck, until she laced her arms around my neck.

"Yeah," I mumbled without pulling away. "Can't believe you're thirty." 

"I'm an old hag now, aren't I?" she joked. "Can't wait for you to start looking at fresh-out-of-uni gals soon."

"Hey," I pouted as I looked at her. "I would never."

"Yeah, you better not," she patted my cheek a couple of times with her right hand then slid both of them on my chest and pushed me away. I quickly grabbed her hands and intertwined my fingers with hers so she couldn't go away. "Are you still going to go in tomorrow?"

"Only for half an hour," I confirmed. "It's something I have to sign in person. I tried to reschedule but I'm not about to pull a Lincoln Williams."

"Reckon Katie is a bit preoccupied with him for you to mess up your chances like that," she scrunched up her nose and I chuckled. "I'll just be home... alone... with Leila and Dax... missing you all day like crazy..."

"Oh, shut up," I groaned as she watched me, amused. "Don't try to make me feel bad."

"I'm not doing such thing."

"Yeah, okay."

"I'm not!" she promised and I rolled my eyes at her, clearly not believing her. I laughed as I tried to grab her hand so she couldn't walk away but she managed to slip out.

"Don't walk off on me."

"Leila needs milk."

"Leila always needs milk," I muttered. "Must be fucking delicious if that's all she wants."

"That's all she can have, dingo," she bit back and I mocked her right after. "Oh, do not get me started, Styles."

"I'm not."

"Keep to it."

"See? You love keeping me under control."

"More so in the bedroom than out of it, yeah," she agreed. Whilst my little girl was having her milk. How disgusting, right? "Stop internally judging me."

"I'm not."

"Do you know how to reply with anything other than 'I'm not'?"

"Oh, get off of my dick," a groan which then sank into a breathy chuckle slipped past my lips as I sat down next to her. I placed my arm over her shoulders, but more on the back of the couch, then propped my legs up on the coffee table.

"Stop. I wish I was on it."

"You do realise my almost week-old baby is resting in your arms and she does not need her mother saying nasty things about her father, right?"

"Are you going to tell her that angels brought her to us when she asks how she was made?"

"I don't like where this is going—are you trying to catch me?"

"Am I?" she glanced towards me and I stared back at her. Cheeky. She then puckered her lips as she tried to ask for a kiss and because I was completely wrapped around her fingers, I gave her what she wanted. Always. She was definitely going to be my downfall someday. "I was thinking."

"That's never good," I sighed.

"I think you will be mad. And I think I am mad, myself, for even thinking this but we should talk to your parents."

"No."

"Harry."

"No," I repeated myself. "They should have been the ones to make the effort to visit us in the hospital. They live about an hour away and they somehow had more important things to take care of. Your parents, who live about five hours away, managed to take the time and come up to London so they could be here. Sam was literally out of the country, yet he found a way to make his trip shorter to catch us in time. I don't understand why that was so hard for my family to do but frankly, I don't even want to know."

"Okay," she said gently.

"I'm not having a go at you. I'm just saying that if they fail to put the effort in, then why should we? Clearly, they don't care. If they did, they would have been there."

"Okay. I get it."

"Are you angry with me?" I asked because she didn't fight me on the matter and that wasn't what I expected.

"No."

"Then?"

"You don't want to discuss it so I'm not going to push it."

"Why?"

"Because you don't want to talk about it."

"You just rephrased what you said before."

"And?"

"This is not making sense."

"What's not making sense?" she laughed.

"We usually argue until you get your way. Why aren't we doing that now?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do," I pushed. "Tell me."

"Because I'm not in the mood to bicker with you," she said. "And, you said no to the idea so what is there to talk about?"

"This feels weird. I'm used to you jumping on stuff quickly."

"I don't know why you are so surprised," she chuckled. "Usually, I let things go pretty easy. This is not the first occasion."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. I don't know why it was so strange to me that she didn't push it more.

"It bothers you, doesn't it? Your parents."

Embarrassed, I looked away from her, my eyes fixated on the telly.

"Hey," she called, her hand on my right cheek as she tried to get me to look at her. Sighing, I did and she placed her arm back under Leila to hold her. "I'm sorry they are assholes."

"Me too."

"I only suggested that we talk to them because... well, because I want the best for you and meanwhile, they are not the best, they owe it to you to apologise for not being there for you."

"I appreciate you caring for me like that more than you'll ever know but... I just don't think I'll ever have a relationship with my parents. Not like you do with yours, anyway. Which is fine because I've grown used to it. But yes, it bothers me at the same time."

"I hate it so much... it makes me so upset. I'm sorry I keep banging on about it, I just-,"

"Ren, it's okay. I'm just as annoyed as you are, I just don't think it will get me anywhere if I keep mentioning it to you, you know?" I tried to explain how I felt about the situation, without making her feel like she hurt me whenever it was brought up. That certainly wasn't the case. The situation itself was a lost cause. "I've learned from them, though. I know how to be a better parent and that's all that matters."

"I never doubted you."

"I never doubted you, either," I smiled. She smiled back at me after a little while as if she felt relieved to hear those words. Leaning in, I kissed her forehead, my eyes closing as I inhaled and kept my lips on her skin for a short while. "The way you take care of Leila makes me so proud of you. I know how scared you were about it but you've been so good with her."

"She is so tiny and she really depends on us for pretty much everything. The least I can do is my best."

"Just take the compliment, dammit," I laughed as I pulled her closer and gave her head another kiss. The constant physical contact between us was something I only noticed recently. And only because someone pointed it out. Someone being Brandon.

"Shit, okay, thanks, I guess," she said with a pained facial expression, one that made it hard for me to keep my laughter down.

"You are so awkward," I said in the end, a wide grin on my lips as I slightly turned the volume up on the TV so I could focus on that whilst my little princess got her dosage of milk for the time being.